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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings (34987 Views)
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My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Havilaah1: 9:51am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Good day all, i want to pour my heart on what's bothering me and get people's view and possible solutions to the issue. I've been in a relationship with my boo for a couple of years now and it's a serious relationship, we're are very close.. infact we're practically besties aside relationship. For some months now i noticed he no longer gives me attention like he used to, the vibe between us dropped and it was getting me angry. He stopped doing the things he knows i like, he knows my love language is attention/care as well as complement but he stopped doing all these. I'd send him a photo where i look so beautiful and he'd only say you look good, at a point i started preparing my mind for the worse. Just yesterday he told me there's something he wants us to talk to me about and it's been bothering him and i asked him what it was, he said it's about us. He said 2 of his siblings asked him same question on different occasions but, he didn't see it as a big deal the first time but when it was asked the second time he got angry and that's the reason he hasn't been flowing well with me. The question was how can you get married to someone who is not close to your siblings, when he said this i was weak. I know when we started the relationship he told me his siblings are free people i can relate with, i told him i will try. I was in contact with 2 of his sisters before this year( i sometimes chat, text or call during birthdays, new month and festivities). This year i started chatting with the 3rd sister, her wedding was coming up and she sent me IV. I congratulated her and she asked if i will be around, i told her i will try and create time so i can travel down to attend. I really did travel down to attend the wedding, she was surprised when she saw me but i noticed my boo wasn't happy with me all through the event. Now he's saying he's in close communication with my mum and siblings, they talk all the time but same can not be said about me. He was thinking how can he get married and his siblings will refuse coming to his house because there's no relationship between us. I'm a very introverted person while himself and his siblings on the other hand are extroverts and ambiverts, i don't find it easy building up ties with people from a distance. I have very few friends, i can be in a place and i won't talk if I'm not used to the people or there's no serious thing to talk about (that's the reason i talk to his siblings during birthdays, new month or festivities). I don't know how to build up a strong relationship with them before marriage, it's even worse because we don't get to see often cos they're in a different state but I've visited them on a few occasions. How do i handle this issue. I was in deep thought all through the night, i couldn't get up to 4 hours sleep. God knows i love his family as much as i do mine, he himself said he knows i care about them 100% but his family cannot read my mind to see that i have them in mind. After our discussion last night i couldn't sleep, I've been feeling bad about the whole thing. Introversion is making me look like I'm not a good person. I really don't know how to go about this, please i need advice from people who have been in similar situation. Moderator please help move to front page to get a wider view. Roctation farano Please help move to front page for wider view. 105 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Sonnobax15(m): 9:56am On Nov 15, 2021 |
![]() Mennnnnnnn, it's well like seriously...... Personally cha,such things dey look funny to me.... Because how can someone say he love you and the same time try to compare the love he has for you with the relationship you've with his family? ![]() ![]() Not that I'm saying it's wrong to have a relationship with your bf's family,but such things can easily be worked out,with time...No be wetin person dey rush....So long say una dey flow well,no probs..... My immediate elder bro gf just be like you....But guess what, whenever she's around,me and my immediate younger bro dey always dey ginger her to be lively and free with us.......you no kill person,na introvert you be ![]() 400 Likes 21 Shares
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Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Akwaibomdude(m): 10:01am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Let the elders come. 8 Likes |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Davash222(m): 10:02am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Do you plan getting married to him or his siblings? I think another fresh banny is sharing your gbola with you and there's nothing you can do. Don't be selfish else you lose the gbola. 44 Likes |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Candidlady: 10:05am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Erigga said.., 3 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by McEphiks(m): 10:07am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Waiting to see the introverts For me, an extroverted introvert; I can switch anytime. 9 Likes |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by illicit(m): 10:07am On Nov 15, 2021 |
6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Chrisx1x(m): 10:10am On Nov 15, 2021 |
You can only try and improve on your personality but you can't change who you really are. I know this because I am also an introvert. Its not easily flowing with people you aren't that familiar with. He should try and understand you, try and talk to him, let him see you for who you are. If he can't defend you now before his family members, I don't know when he is going to do that. And right now, it seems he decided to chose family over you. 104 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Davash222(m): 10:10am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Candidlady:Erigga didn't say anything, Nne. 80 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Davash222(m): 10:12am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Chrisx1x:You expected him to choose a GIRLFRIEND over his family? Girlfriend he might be sharing with Dem Boys ![]() 145 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Candidlady: 10:27am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Davash222:itotally forgot what erigga said when iremember i will hyu 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Nobody: 10:49am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Davash222: You dey mind the guy?? Mtttttcheeeeewww.... 45 Likes |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Nobody: 11:00am On Nov 15, 2021 |
It's obvious your boyfriend has a very close relationship with his family and i can say that his opinion is largely influenced by what his family thinks ((thus that's why he's acting withdrawn because his family has reservations about you))... The solution is quite simple... Work things out with his family, try and get close to them.... There's nothing like "that's how I am", that mentality is BULLSHIT!!!!!! If it's important to you, you'll look for a way to make it work... If you can't compromise, then walk away and date someone who's family you flow well with...chikina!! On the other hand, your boyfriend should cut you some slack as regards you and his family...you can't become besties with people you barely spend time with...so tell the alaye make him rest small... And please forget those childish people asking you "whether you're getting married to your boyfriend and his family?" With the closeness of your boyfriend to his family, if then no like you ...forget am... Them go table your matter for family meeting and you go see the results of the matter, whether e favour you or not... Lastly... Never expect that guy to choose you over his family ...you're just his girlfriend or fiancee and thus you're easily replaceable, but his family are not so... Like them elders go talk, "blood thick pass water" Havilaah1: 209 Likes 13 Shares |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Havilaah1: 11:11am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Sonnobax15:I guess he's pained because he's already like a son to my mum plus what his siblings are saying. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by revived: 11:14am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Wahala be like relationship sef You are just like my baby girl Me dun give her few months break shaa Man gotta hustle Back to topic, your bf sef get problem He dae find 100% and that shii is not possible Aunty you better be yourself and no do pass yourself Make I grab my black-bullet and watch as the thread unfolds 24 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Havilaah1: 11:14am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Chrisx1x:I've told him severally that i will try talking with them. I asked him what his response was when they asked the question, he said so that's what matters to me now abi. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Godada(m): 11:16am On Nov 15, 2021 |
![]() You have your job clearly cut out for you. You have to be buddy buddy with your prospective in-laws. Take a chitchat with your guy. You need his help and understanding. He has worked his way into your mum's heart. Now it's your turn. Your excuses of being an introvert will pass you as being snobbish. These are your in-laws. It seems they have a hold on your guy. Mind you, you gatta stoop to conquer. Come out of your shell and your comfort zone. This is how it is....your guy has made himself at home with your mum at least accord him the same respect. He feels he is the only doing the job....meet him half way. After all he is your lover.........humour him. 73 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by bigpicture001: 11:19am On Nov 15, 2021 |
U even tried.... Mine found excuse at the oddest time to avoid my sis wedding and blame shifted.... 3 Likes |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Havilaah1: 11:19am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Favfables1:Yes he has a very close relationship with them, I'm not saying my relationship with them will remain like this. We'll get to talk better when we become close but he wants the closeness before marriage. How to keep close tab with people I'm not yet used to is what is bothering me plus the communication will strictly be on calls and chat as I'm in a different state. 5 Likes |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Havilaah1: 11:25am On Nov 15, 2021 |
revived:Seriously it baffles me how he's forgetting other good qualities i have cos of this issue. This same people I'm not yet closed I've sent gifts and cash on birthdays. I don't know how to pretend, i know some girls will pretend in situations like this and go back to their old ways once married. 38 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Nobody: 11:30am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Havilaah1:your fiancee wants you to break your back to do what he wants. that's a trash attitude. leave now 34 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Havilaah1: 11:33am On Nov 15, 2021 |
bigpicture001:It wasn't convenient but i had, i thought about sending money (my 8k tp and round it up to like 20k instead of going) but i felt it will make them happy. Few days to the event i told my fiancee he shouldn't angry that i can't attend and said he understands i have work to attend to but i still wasn't convinced he was really okay with me not attending. I attended and he's still saying this, imagine if i didn't come at all. 21 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by TalkTalkTwins(m): 11:34am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Hmm 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Havilaah1: 11:36am On Nov 15, 2021 |
WickedPisa: Starting all over again will not be an easy task, we'll both be losing friendship and relationship at the same time. I'm so weak right now. 6 Likes |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by bigpicture001: 11:37am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Havilaah1: Babe I can say from my inner most experience: he is not seeing anyone else, but is drunk of entitlement... Such happens wen someone becms too sure for u.. just watch him.. if he continues unabated.. giv him space.. If it still doesn't work, den still be there but change language like start to talk about a guy disturbing for marriage... Make it real. If he sees competition, he will sit up.. People don't value things without fighting for it 41 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by mosdii(m): 11:38am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them 20 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Havilaah1: 11:40am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Godada:Thanks, I'll keep trying Now that i know they already said something like this, me making serious move to flow with them will look like I'm pretending because they said it. 10 Likes |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Havilaah1: 11:47am On Nov 15, 2021 |
bigpicture001:He's really not seeing anyone else and we both know we can't cheat on each other. He knows so many guys are coming around cos I'm good looking but i don't give them face. If someone is getting close i talk to him about it and if he's not comfortable with the person he tells me to be careful. |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by mediainc: 11:50am On Nov 15, 2021 |
He sounds like a kid. 28 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by bigpicture001: 11:53am On Nov 15, 2021 |
Havilaah1: He is definitely threading on not too careful ground... By not helping to make u blend.. u might be shy to mingle with them.. he is the family member, he should help u get to them.. He shouldn't be too sure of himself..quality girls are sought after like every 2sec..what is sure for u today will be someone else's tomorrow... He shld know ladies follow marriage,not love...a thousand men are ready to him in once sh is good..I learnt that cuz I lost my sweetheart....that everyone wanted but sh chose me then..now we don't even say hi..it's that bad... He shld get his goodies in the bag already..and stop play acting ..wife to be musnt roll on the ground for family members...just being nice and close to them is enough 22 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Danielkelly: 12:33pm On Nov 15, 2021 |
Awwwn Havilah your already made urself his wify before he proposed. i can feel how sad you are feeling right now don't want all your naught investment to go downlow in swope seconds. you probably wonder who i be? Call me DREGS am your gaurdian Angel from the depths of life. you should no my advice isn't free you couldl pay in cash for the wisdom its like your precious jewel its worth the while and you get your token refunded if you didn't get the result in 1week. |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Nobody: 1:32pm On Nov 15, 2021 |
Havilaah1:Your boyfriend is not a real guy and I am not sorry to say so..the truth is he doesn't love you cos if he does he wouldn't wanna change you.. As an introvert do yourself a favour by being yourself...don't change yourself cos of anyone.. If he wanna leave let him go..I just told you the bluntest truth here.. 34 Likes 4 Shares |
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