Candidlady:
Erigga said..,

Candidlady:
Erigga said..,

Chrisx1x:
You can only try and improve on your personality but you can't change who you really are. I know this because I am also an introvert. Its not easily flowing with people you aren't that familiar with.

He should try and understand you, try and talk to him, let him see you for who you are. If he can't defend you now before his family members, I don't know when he is going to do that. And right now, it seems he decided to chose family over you.

Davash222:
Erigga didn't say anything, Nne.

Davash222:

You expected him to choose a GIRLFRIEND over his family?
Girlfriend he might be sharing with Dem Boys

Havilaah1:
Good day all, i want to pour my heart on what's bothering me and get people's view and possible solutions to the issue.

I've been in a relationship with my boo for a couple of years now and it's a serious relationship, we're are very close.. infact we're practically besties aside relationship. For some months now i noticed he no longer gives me attention like he used to, the vibe between us dropped and it was getting me angry. He stopped doing the things he knows i like, he knows my love language is attention/care as well as complement but he stopped doing all these. I'd send him a photo where i look so beautiful and he'd only say you look good, at a point i started preparing my mind for the worse.

Just yesterday he told me there's something he wants us to talk to me about and it's been bothering him and i asked him what it was, he said it's about us. He said 2 of his siblings asked him same question on different occasions but, he didn't see it as a big deal the first time but when it was asked the second time he got angry and that's the reason he hasn't been flowing well with me.

The question was how can you get married to someone who is not close to your siblings, when he said this i was weak. I know when we started the relationship he told me his siblings are free people i can relate with, i told him i will try. I was in contact with 2 of his sisters before this year( i sometimes chat, text or call during birthdays, new month and festivities).

This year i started chatting with the 3rd sister, her wedding was coming up and she sent me IV. I congratulated her and she asked if i will be around, i told her i will try and create time so i can travel down to attend. I really did travel down to attend the wedding, she was surprised when she saw me but i noticed my boo wasn't happy with me all through the event.
Now he's saying he's in close communication with my mum and siblings, they talk all the time but same can not be said about me. He was thinking how can he get married and his siblings will refuse coming to his house because there's no relationship between us.

I'm a very introverted person while himself and his siblings on the other hand are extroverts and ambiverts, i don't find it easy building up ties with people from a distance. I have very few friends, i can be in a place and i won't talk if I'm not used to the people or there's no serious thing to talk about (that's the reason i talk to his siblings during birthdays, new month or festivities). I don't know how to build up a strong relationship with them before marriage, it's even worse because we don't get to see often cos they're in a different state but I've visited them on a few occasions.
How do i handle this issue. I was in deep thought all through the night, i couldn't get up to 4 hours sleep.


God knows i love his family as much as i do mine, he himself said he knows i care about them 100% but his family cannot read my mind to see that i have them in mind. After our discussion last night i couldn't sleep, I've been feeling bad about the whole thing. Introversion is making me look like I'm not a good person.

I really don't know how to go about this, please i need advice from people who have been in similar situation.
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farano
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Sonnobax15:

Mennnnnnnn, it's well like seriously......

Personally cha,such things dey look funny to me.... Because how can someone say he love you and the same time try to compare the love he has for you with the relationship you've with his family? . E be like say that your boo na the type of nigha wey go sabi listen to him family well well

Not that I'm saying it's wrong to have a relationship with your bf's family,but such things can easily be worked out,with time...No be wetin person dey rush....So long say una dey flow well,no probs.....

My immediate elder bro gf just be like you....But guess what, whenever she's around,me and my immediate younger bro dey always dey ginger her to be lively and free with us.......you no kill person,na introvert you be

Chrisx1x:
You can only try and improve on your personality but you can't change who you really are. I know this because I am also an introvert. Its not easily flowing with people you aren't that familiar with.

He should try and understand you, try and talk to him, let him see you for who you are. If he can't defend you now before his family members, I don't know when he is going to do that. And right now, it seems he decided to chose family over you.

Favfables1:
It's obvious your boyfriend has a very close relationship with his family and i can say that his opinion is largely influenced by what his family thinks ((thus that's why he's acting withdrawn because his family has reservations about you))...

The solution is quite simple...
Work things out with his family, try and get close to them....
There's nothing like "that's how I am", that mentality is BULLSHIT!!!!!! If it's important to you, you'll look for a way to make it work...
If you can't compromise, then walk away and date someone who's family you flow well with...chikina!!

On the other hand, your boyfriend should cut you some slack as regards you and his family...you can't become besties with people you barely spend time with...so tell the alaye make him rest small...

And please forget those childish people asking you "whether you're getting married to your boyfriend and his family?" With the closeness of your boyfriend to his family, if then no like you ...forget am... Them go table your matter for family meeting and you go see the results of the matter, whether e favour you or not...

Lastly...
Never expect that guy to choose you over his family ...you're just his girlfriend or fiancee and thus you're easily replaceable, but his family are not so... Like them elders go talk, "blood thick pass water"

revived:
Wahala be like relationship sef

You are just like my baby girl
Me dun give her few months break shaa
Man gotta hustle

Back to topic, your bf sef get problem
He dae find 100% and that shii is not possible

Aunty you better be yourself and no do pass yourself

Make I grab my black-bullet and watch as the thread unfolds

Havilaah1:
Good day all, i want to pour my heart on what's bothering me and get people's view and possible solutions to the issue.

I've been in a relationship with my boo for a couple of years now and it's a serious relationship, we're are very close.. infact we're practically besties aside relationship. For some months now i noticed he no longer gives me attention like he used to, the vibe between us dropped and it was getting me angry. He stopped doing the things he knows i like, he knows my love language is attention/care as well as complement but he stopped doing all these. I'd send him a photo where i look so beautiful and he'd only say you look good, at a point i started preparing my mind for the worse.

Just yesterday he told me there's something he wants us to talk to me about and it's been bothering him and i asked him what it was, he said it's about us. He said 2 of his siblings asked him same question on different occasions but, he didn't see it as a big deal the first time but when it was asked the second time he got angry and that's the reason he hasn't been flowing well with me.

The question was how can you get married to someone who is not close to your siblings, when he said this i was weak. I know when we started the relationship he told me his siblings are free people i can relate with, i told him i will try. I was in contact with 2 of his sisters before this year( i sometimes chat, text or call during birthdays, new month and festivities).

This year i started chatting with the 3rd sister, her wedding was coming up and she sent me IV. I congratulated her and she asked if i will be around, i told her i will try and create time so i can travel down to attend. I really did travel down to attend the wedding, she was surprised when she saw me but i noticed my boo wasn't happy with me all through the event.
Now he's saying he's in close communication with my mum and siblings, they talk all the time but same can not be said about me. He was thinking how can he get married and his siblings will refuse coming to his house because there's no relationship between us.

I'm a very introverted person while himself and his siblings on the other hand are extroverts and ambiverts, i don't find it easy building up ties with people from a distance. I have very few friends, i can be in a place and i won't talk if I'm not used to the people or there's no serious thing to talk about (that's the reason i talk to his siblings during birthdays, new month or festivities). I don't know how to build up a strong relationship with them before marriage, it's even worse because we don't get to see often cos they're in a different state but I've visited them on a few occasions.
How do i handle this issue. I was in deep thought all through the night, i couldn't get up to 4 hours sleep.


God knows i love his family as much as i do mine, he himself said he knows i care about them 100% but his family cannot read my mind to see that i have them in mind. After our discussion last night i couldn't sleep, I've been feeling bad about the whole thing. Introversion is making me look like I'm not a good person.

I really don't know how to go about this, please i need advice from people who have been in similar situation.
Moderator please help move to front page to get a wider view.
Roctation
farano
Please help move to front page for wider view.

bigpicture001:
U even tried.... Mine found excuse at the oddest time to avoid my sis wedding and blame shifted....

WickedPisa:
your fiancee wants you to break your back to do what he wants. that's a trash attitude. leave now

Havilaah1:

It wasn't convenient but i had, i thought about sending money (my 8k tp and round it up to like 20k instead of going) but i felt it will make them happy.
Few days to the event i told my fiancee he shouldn't angry that i can't attend and said he understands i have work to attend to but i still wasn't convinced he was really okay with me not attending.
I attended and he's still saying this, imagine if i didn't come at all.

Godada:


You have your job clearly cut out for you. You have to be buddy buddy with your prospective in-laws.

Take a chitchat with your guy. You need his help and understanding. He has worked his way into your mum's heart. Now it's your turn.

Your excuses of being an introvert will pass you as being snobbish.

These are your in-laws. It seems they have a hold on your guy.

Mind you, you gatta scoop to conquer. Come out of your shell and your comfort zone.

This is how it is....your guy has made himself at home with your mum at least accord him the same respect.

He feels he is the only doing the job....meet him half way.

After all he is your lover.........humour him.

bigpicture001:


Babe I can say from my inner most experience: he is not seeing anyone else, but is drunk of entitlement... Such happens wen someone becms too sure for u.. just watch him.. if he continues unabated.. giv him space..

If it still doesn't work, den still be there but change language like start to talk about a guy disturbing for marriage... Make it real. If he sees competition, he will sit up..

People don't value things without fighting for it

Havilaah1:

He's really not seeing anyone else and we both know we can't cheat on each other.
He knows so many guys are coming around cos I'm good looking but i don't give them face.
If someone is getting close i talk to him about it and if he's not comfortable with the person he tells me to be careful.

Havilaah1:
Good day all, i want to pour my heart on what's bothering me and get people's view and possible solutions to the issue.

I've been in a relationship with my boo for a couple of years now and it's a serious relationship, we're are very close.. infact we're practically besties aside relationship. For some months now i noticed he no longer gives me attention like he used to, the vibe between us dropped and it was getting me angry. He stopped doing the things he knows i like, he knows my love language is attention/care as well as complement but he stopped doing all these. I'd send him a photo where i look so beautiful and he'd only say you look good, at a point i started preparing my mind for the worse.

Just yesterday he told me there's something he wants us to talk to me about and it's been bothering him and i asked him what it was, he said it's about us. He said 2 of his siblings asked him same question on different occasions but, he didn't see it as a big deal the first time but when it was asked the second time he got angry and that's the reason he hasn't been flowing well with me.

The question was how can you get married to someone who is not close to your siblings, when he said this i was weak. I know when we started the relationship he told me his siblings are free people i can relate with, i told him i will try. I was in contact with 2 of his sisters before this year( i sometimes chat, text or call during birthdays, new month and festivities).

This year i started chatting with the 3rd sister, her wedding was coming up and she sent me IV. I congratulated her and she asked if i will be around, i told her i will try and create time so i can travel down to attend. I really did travel down to attend the wedding, she was surprised when she saw me but i noticed my boo wasn't happy with me all through the event.
Now he's saying he's in close communication with my mum and siblings, they talk all the time but same can not be said about me. He was thinking how can he get married and his siblings will refuse coming to his house because there's no relationship between us.

I'm a very introverted person while himself and his siblings on the other hand are extroverts and ambiverts, i don't find it easy building up ties with people from a distance. I have very few friends, i can be in a place and i won't talk if I'm not used to the people or there's no serious thing to talk about (that's the reason i talk to his siblings during birthdays, new month or festivities). I don't know how to build up a strong relationship with them before marriage, it's even worse because we don't get to see often cos they're in a different state but I've visited them on a few occasions.
How do i handle this issue. I was in deep thought all through the night, i couldn't get up to 4 hours sleep.


God knows i love his family as much as i do mine, he himself said he knows i care about them 100% but his family cannot read my mind to see that i have them in mind. After our discussion last night i couldn't sleep, I've been feeling bad about the whole thing. Introversion is making me look like I'm not a good person.

I really don't know how to go about this, please i need advice from people who have been in similar situation.
Moderator please help move to front page to get a wider view.
Roctation
farano
Please help move to front page for wider view.