Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Munamoqel: 9:52am On Nov 25, 2021 |
TheGift:
How do you know that is what She went to do? what normal and responsible woman outside been an escort will leave hospital where her two kids are in admission to galivate on uber? Na only ashawo dey behave like that they dont want to loose the sharp 10k .all those vexing is a ploy so he wouldn't question her . 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by adabaraabdul: 9:52am On Nov 25, 2021 |
Well for me I like to know what my partner is up to so I can see things for what they really are. I will advise you to keep calm and act like nothing is fishy. Probe deep and further, be stealth and decisive to gather concrete evidence to ascertain or disable your suspicions. But most importantly brace up yourself for the outcome of your investigation. 4 Likes |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by FourElements: 9:53am On Nov 25, 2021 |
Lovebliss2: You have trust issues. Work on it and don't destroy your marriage. ...and what is your message for the woman? 1 Like |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Crystalom3(m): 9:53am On Nov 25, 2021 |
I'm not married oh but I don't keep this kind of things to myself.
I'd just look at my gf and say to her 'madam are you cheating on me' or 'madam I think you are cheating on me'
It'll hurt her if she's not. But the discussion that always follows will solve the issues and as well help me know if she is or not.
I personally don't understand why people keep this things to themselves and never confront their partner straight up. I mean you are married, why the fear to confront your spouse? 1 Like |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Jimbah(m): 9:54am On Nov 25, 2021 |
Marriage issues on nairaland is making some of us scared of venturing to it... 1 Like |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by adabaraabdul: 9:55am On Nov 25, 2021 |
...also please pay more attention to the comments from men more than those from women as regards your concerns. Very important! 9 Likes |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by freeborn02: 9:55am On Nov 25, 2021 |
Favfables1:
That's a possibility... Buh have you also considered the possibility that the wife hasn't given him any reason to trust her?? Lovebliss2 and many of the women on this platform don't reason clearly when it concerns women. They are more about "women supporting women" even when it is.morally wrong to do that. They are not about morality, dignity or honor; they are more about blind unreasonable defence of their fellow women. 4 Likes |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Fiscus105(m): 9:56am On Nov 25, 2021 |
hashbag1: Nlanders, I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.
My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.
As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.
Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment. You are not in charge of ur home as a result of that, your wife had lost regards for you. If she has not been doing it, just a step to start doing it, and to stop her,it remains a daunting task. 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by SavageResponse(m): 9:56am On Nov 25, 2021 |
So because of this you automatically assumed she is cheating on you? 1 Like |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Munamu: 9:56am On Nov 25, 2021 |
hashbag1: Nlanders, I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.
My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that
she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.
As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.
Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment. He who alleges let him prove. Ur relationship has not been Rosy recently. That is understandable, but suspecting her of adultery should not be the option. |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by nokspos: 9:56am On Nov 25, 2021 |
hashbag1 ..... 9 out of 10 women will cheat in marriage at some point, i did my research and it was accurate... yes 9 out of 10 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Zeel007: 9:58am On Nov 25, 2021 |
hashbag1: Nlanders, I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.
My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.
As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.
Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment. something looks fishy though. I will suggest you track her calls and chat for that could give you a better assurance |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by 8stargeneral: 9:58am On Nov 25, 2021 |
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Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by defash8: 9:58am On Nov 25, 2021 |
Cheating is not only when you start sleeping with another person, the act of lying & secrecy to your husband or spouse is cheating for me. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by mitchyy(f): 9:58am On Nov 25, 2021 |
The fact that she lied about her whereabout is not a proof that she is with another man. Did something else happen to make you feel she is cheating? Personally, if my kids are hospitalized, i stay with them 24/7. I don’t even leave them alone with their dad to attend to whatever business because i can care for them better. But not everyone can act that way. She said she knew you’ll be pissed that she is attending to business while the kids are at the hospital that is why she lied. Give her the benefit of the doubt and query her for her actions and for lying. But do not accuse her outrightly of cheating. Only a very foolish and irresponsible woman will leave her sick kids to see a lover. If you have reasons to believe she is unfaithful then do your findings and investigate. If she is truly cheating and you accuse her without proof, she will deny and turn it on your head. Its you that will end up being the bad person. Monitor her and get proof that she won’t be able to deny. A marriage without trust is heading for disaster by the way. 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by ariesbull: 9:58am On Nov 25, 2021 |
hashbag1: Nlanders, I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.
My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.
As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.
Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment. Your wife way no pure... Hack her phone and monitor your |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Yus2020: 9:58am On Nov 25, 2021 |
Take those children for DNA test and again Separate from that woman if not your name na sorry for your old age she is a bad type |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by njimezz(m): 9:59am On Nov 25, 2021 |
My concern is which responsible mother will lie and abandon ha kids for one shooting to another. Someone said it seems like ha hubby never trusted his wife but forget that just what she did alone, all fingers point at her for questioning based on ha actions. Even those claiming what dey are not will even do worst things. Anyways Oga Shud handle dis wit care 1 Like |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by ThinkSmarter: 10:00am On Nov 25, 2021 |
hashbag1: Nlanders, I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.
My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.
As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.
Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment. I'm not a married man but from my experience with the opposite sex so far, I have learnt not to put my trust in any woman, even my future wife. I have configured my mind that my girlfriend or wife may cheat on me. No matter how rich, handsome or good in bed you are, a cheat will always cheat. You can't change that, it's a basic animal instinct. I hope you are not that family oriented man. Because most responsible fathers, husbands are the worst treated people. This is because, women are animalistically (permit me to use that word) wired to assume a caring, responsible, home-oriented man as a weakling. Women tend to respect and impress irresponsible men that doesn't give much Bleep about their lives. Women respect men that doesn't give them attention. Women love men that make them feel less insecure about their looks. Women love men that bleeps them like a stallion. My advice: Ignore her suspicious moves. Stop stalking her. Don't be emotional attached to her. Don't beg her for sex. Instead of you to beg for sex, you masturbate in your privacy. Treat yourself right, wear good clothes, nice perfume. Eat good meals groom yourself. Act like you don't fancy her beauty again. Provide the home basic needs like foods stuffs, house rents, light bills, etc. Stop! giving your kids too much attention( over pampering) This is a motherly instinct. A man that does that is not an alpha. But still be a responsible man, not a weakling. Stop! Attaching emotions to relationships. It is unmanly to attach emotions to a relationship. Stop alcohol consumption, include fruits in your daily diet. Reduce ur sugar consumption. Bleep her like stallion. Be an alpha, be in charge. Build your self confidence. Stop making yourself so insecure in the presence of a woman. Good luck. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by JaskanFactor: 10:00am On Nov 25, 2021 |
personally i have never met anybody who likes to eat the same food everyday till the end of life.
All i would ask a woman is to do it with respect, and not close to home.
Life and relationships get so much easier when we accept that we human being are both angel and beast all in one, and variations there of. |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Getdabag: 10:01am On Nov 25, 2021 |
Cheat back with the house maid you go dey alright |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Handsum64: 10:01am On Nov 25, 2021 |
Better do a paternal DNA tests on those kids |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by lereinter(m): 10:02am On Nov 25, 2021 |
Although this is a bad omen but you haven't caught her red handed
But I think you have check your man management
Of your wife can be yelling and lying and not taking the children as priority
Something is wrong
Give her a stern warning 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Hungerbadoo: 10:03am On Nov 25, 2021 |
Oga go and call 'Cheaters' |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by zed7: 10:03am On Nov 25, 2021 |
This is not enough reason to suspect your wife of 9 years, except she has given you reasons to suspect her in the past. She may have lied because she knew you will get upset with her for leaving the kids.
Anyway, I believe she is tensed and under pressure. I haven't seen any reason to suspect her from this story. Let sleeping dogs lie. |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by ojasweb(m): 10:04am On Nov 25, 2021 |
Kobojunkiee: Dude, this your conversation with your wife sounded more like an interrogation session to me. If say na me be her, I for turn my phone off from the time you started querying my decision to go get water across the street. For real, interrogations of that kind, and from a so-called love one... I no dey do at all. ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png)
Something was not right about what exactly that you literally took to interrogating your wife's every move when it wasn't as if your kids were abandoned or something? The maid was with them so... Was she meant to report her every movement to you or something? ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png)
Leaving the kids at the mercy of the maid? Are you for real? If you can't leave your kids with your maid, what do you have a maid for? ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) What should a man do if the wife ask, "who is folaqueen"? Should the man yell at her? PS: i only used folaqueen to avoid mentioning someone's name directly. 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Kenturkey048(m): 10:04am On Nov 25, 2021 |
Boss the problem with humans is knowing the truth, but looking for subtle ways to tell yourself that isn't the truth... 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by atiku07(m): 10:05am On Nov 25, 2021 |
Iyaebe: If this is all you've got to accuse her of infidelity then go work on your mindset because you've got no proof and evidence. any one wey marry this one marry sorrow 1 Like |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Allwell96: 10:05am On Nov 25, 2021 |
Iyaebe: If this is all you've got to accuse her of infidelity then go work on your mindset because you've got no proof and evidence. u said my mind. |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Quaddafi29: 10:05am On Nov 25, 2021 |
She went to collect one hand and make small change. They re all the same |
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by penplus: 10:05am On Nov 25, 2021 |
oldtruth:
What to say? You are apparently not a real African man. Let me tell you straight up. Real men controls. You are obviously not in control. Infact I wonder where you people see equality in marriage. The West don't even practice it. The FACT is that; "you are USELESS to your woman". Ha!
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Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by atiku07(m): 10:06am On Nov 25, 2021 |
Skyfornia:
You don't trust that woman one bit...so what are you still doing with her? I'm even irritated with your actions...why let your marriage get to this level ? Has she done anything in the past that prompted you to start questioning her moves?
Personally once trust is lost in a relationship, then it is no longer worth it. Trust u said why does she have to lie why can't she come straight to her husband 2 Likes |