onecoder:

Most is just a 'sample' of the population.
He never said all father's are toxic

He drew from a very large sample then, albeit an erroneously large number.

If he had said some fathers, I wouldn't have bothered. Most here means greater number of fathers, and that will be uncomfortable for people like me that have very good fathers to stomach

Lindalilian:
Omoh, can you just summarize


Thanks.

You won’t die if you read

OP hasn't said nothing yet...
Why would you marry close to your dad? Won't you cherish a change of scene?

Phillipsburg:


I'm only waiting around to be mobilized for service. So I still have about 3 months at least with them.

Please, try and do anything that will keep you busy for the remaining 3months. Anything

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

How old are you ? If more than 25 , try and move out and live your life. You're a man , so you can easily forge your path how you want it.

Sorry Bro, try to get elders to talk to him but if he refuses to listen to stop bullying his family or beating his wife. Tie him up and put him in a room for one week, don't beat him ooo. Call him to order by the time he spends 7 days in confinement his head go correct.

Young Man, if you’re old enough to pursue woman, you should be old enough to get your own place. Until you get mobilized for NYSC, I suggest you put everything on hold and endure your family palava. Your father won’t change anytime soon and your mother will continue to take sides with her husband. Just pipe low with the girl and your hormones until you can leave the house and then, you can start building a life outside the toxic environment.

From all you have said he is not your father, he is just a man the brought u into this world. Go ahead and marry that lady if you are sure she is cool for your future, his decision doesn't matter. Be bold and do something right for once,

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

I sincerely personally fully understand what you are going through.
I also went through some of it, especially with fighting siblings that seem to hate each other up to this moment, despite the death of our parents.

But what i will advice you is sincerely to hold strongly unto whatever faith you proffer.

BE A STRONG FAITH PERSON. LEARN ABOUT YOUR FAITH AND GET PEACE FEOM IT, GOD CAN GIVE PEACE THAT OUR PARENTS, FAMILY, FRIENDS CAN NEVER GIVE.

By the way, IF YOU HATE YOUR PARENTS THAT WOULD BE YOUR OWN UNDOING!

BE VERY CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU CRITICIZE, IT MAY BECOME YOUR EXPERIENCE.

LIFE IS FUNNY.

Wish you the best dear.

I grew up in an abusive home so I understand bro

Very ungrateful soul, who took care and trained you till university, "is it not your parents ". Every family has their ups and downs, please go and rest. You are ranting because of girl friend who you met at most 2 years ago. Please find something doing and have you own apartment then let see how better person you are, believe me you are unconsciously a toxic person though might not be voilent. Have you actually know what you dad is passing through. �

It's sad that you found your self in such situation. Does your mum like the aforementioned girl you are dating? Does the girl love you too? If yes, you can talk to some of your uncles regarding your intentions to marry her.

Furthermore, are you angry that your parents haven't been showing you parental love or because your dad doesn't like the girl because of her family?

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

michlins:
Your parents are probably poor and you their child is also poor but want to add the burden of wife to yourself.

Your parents are fighting tooth and nail to ensure you don't tow same line with them knowing how it will make you continue their violent marriage route but all you could make out from it is they're frustrating you.

First thing you need to do is to work hard and ensure that you're not poor. Own your own place and then we can advise you

You are correct, poverty and failures can make a man without fear of God to become toxic.

He needs to move closer to God like Pastor Righteousness said above He should find succour in Jesus and not that girl and keep on hold his relationship with the girl till he can stand on his feet after his forthcoming NYSC deployment.

Secondly, he fails to understand that his mum is also a contributor to the crisis, wise women will always weigh their words and actions if they sense resentment and frustrations from their husbands, she probably makes him feel less of a man by reminding him of his failures rather than praising and celebrating him for little successes.

Vyerima:
Sorry Bro, try to get elders to talk to him but if he refuses to listen to stop bullying his family or beating his wife. Tie him up and put him in a room for one week, don't beat him ooo. Call him to order by the time he spends 7 days in confinement his head go correct.

SILLY GENERATION!!!

You advise a Son to tie up HIS FATHER?!!!

Respect for parents has been thrown to the dogs!
Maybe you don't have any iota of respect for your own parents, but the right morality and African morals DOES NOT ALLOW YOU TO INSULT OR DO SUCH ARRANT BULSHIT TO YOUR PARENTS!!!!

People who bore you, cared for your growing up and paid for your education and trainings?!!!!

YOU WANT TO INCURE THE KIND OF CURSE THAT YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE GENESIS OF, AND GOD HELP YOU, IF THEY'RE ALREADY DEAD BEFORE YOU REALIZE WHERE YOUR FOLLY IS FROM!!!

NEVER insult, curse or dishonor your elderly not to say the least, YOUR PARENTS!!!!
YOUR LIFE WILL NEVER END WELL, AND PROGRESS WILL DEFINITELY BE FAR FROM YOU, AND ID YOU PROGRESS, IT WILL BE WITH DUE PAINS AND FRUSTRATION, NO JOY!

Be very careful!

OP: NEVER MIND THIS VERY SILLY ADVISE.

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

From what I read, you are just about to start what you hate about your dad even before old could even stop him. You should have give us clue of your age and that of the girl. There is no sign that you are financially dependent yet nor that you are fully grown up. I also don't think you have a job that can take care of you yet neither do you care to listen to your father irrespective of his bad side of life. All these put together make me believe that you are going to repeat what you think you hate about your father except you quickly make a u-turn.
If you are financially stable, I don't see a reason why you are still in that house despite how frustrated you feel and because you still leaves under him, he sees everything you do. Secondly a fully grown up and matured man don't spend all his time with a woman but with his friends mostly. If you are allowed to go on spending all your time with the girl, you will soon realized that you are presently enjoying the best time of your life because you will soon call upon yourself, the real frustration.
Thirdly, no sane person with that kind of troublesome and embarrassing parents will ordinarily want to get married within his vicinity where all the neighbors are ashamed of his parents life style except for a boy who's brain has been taken over by kpekus.
Finally, despite your father's negative side, he was able to identify that having an in-law with hot temper like himself and within his area will mean hell in the near future but because of the free kpekus, you refuse to see the wisdom in his drunkenness.
I will stop here and leave you to whichever choice you finally go with.

You won’t believe this , but just give the girl belle one time and boom no one will stop your marriage to her even if they want to.

HabaHaba:


SILLY GENERATION!!!

You advise a Son to tie up HIS FATHER?!!!

Respect for parents has been thrown to the dogs!
Maybe you don't have any iota of respect for your own parents, but the right morality and African morals DOES NOT ALLOW YOU TO INSULT OR DO SUCH ARRANT BULSHIT TO YOUR PARENTS!!!!

People who bore you, cared for your growing up and paid for your education and trainings?!!!!

YOU WANT TO INCURE THE KIND OF CURSE THAT YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE GENESIS OF, AND GOD HELP YOU, IF THEY'RE ALREADY DEAD BEFORE YOU REALIZE WHERE YOUR FOLLY IS FROM!!!

NEVER insult, curse or dishonor your elderly not to say the least, YOUR PARENTS!!!!
YOUR LIFE WILL NEVER END WELL, AND PROGRESS WILL DEFINITELY BE FAR FROM YOU, AND ID YOU PROGRESS, IT WILL BE WITH DUE PAINS AND FRUSTRATION, NO JOY!

Be very careful!

OP: NEVER MIND THIS VERY SILLY ADVISE.

If that will solve the problem then why not? All that curse brainwashing is bullchit... I think OP should go violent on him and give him the beating of his life so he can have some sense... he’s a man for Christ sake , can’t be behaving like an animal

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

*I feel if you need advice you should give us a bit of YOU.. what you are doing then we can give you advice based on available information.
* Anyway .. you were not there when you father met your mum hence you might have to blind your eyes for whatever that goes on between the duo
* Your father is your father .. and bringing him down here .. you are only adding salt on injuries ( you are disrespecting him)
* every man has his own problem .. if you are not careful .. you are already taking after his behavior the way you talk him down here .. please respect your Dad OK ? And be matured!
* Back to your problem.. get a job not a girl..your Jon will pre-occupy you and you don’t have to stay home for too long to know details of what’s going on.
* or otherwise get a school and then you have a good course to leave home .. but if because of the girl .. you really missed it all
* pick your lessons and never complain .. many of us you are complaining to does even have a father Respect your Dad young boy!

kals4luv990:
dnt even knw wat to say bro..it is well

If you don't know what to say, it's fine. But, stop lying, the situation is not "well"

[quote author=Phillipsburg post=108920356]It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.


Get a place for yourself, even if it is a one room apartment, your parents won't come there to fight neither will your dad come to your house to insult your girl or her mum, it is the first step towards earning their respect.

cowmanager2000:


*I feel if you need advice you should give us a bit of YOU.. what you are doing then we can give you advice based on available information.
* Anyway .. you were not there when you father met your mum hence you might have to blind your eyes for whatever that goes on between the duo
* Your father is your father .. and bringing him down here .. you are only adding salt on injuries ( you are disrespecting him)
* every man has his own problem .. if you are not careful .. you are already taking after his behavior the way you talk him down here .. please respect your Dad OK ? And be matured!
* Back to your problem.. get a job not a girl..your Jon will pre-occupy you and you don’t have to stay home for too long to know details of what’s going on.
* or otherwise get a school and then you have a good course to leave home .. but if because of the girl .. you really missed it all
* pick your lessons and never complain .. many of us you are complaining to does even have a father Respect your Dad young boy!

Wisdom personified!

This is a beautiful advice. Run with it young man.

My bro i used to have a similar issue please listen
First leave your parents house.
Bro start kreating income for your self try as much as possible to be independent you don't plan on living with the girl in your parents house when you get married start making some money and Leave
Reset piorities
First of all youths always make the mistake of going after romance before success in life this is one of the best routes to failure if you are waiting to get married before you start working towards your future you are may end up in poverty

Be a man.
This kan only be done after you have done the first two
And remember brother your parents house is not your house and the only things that can ruin our future is laziness and fear not another man

Echara:


If you don't know what to say, it's fine. But, stop lying, the situation is not "well"

Hmmm,yu r right tho

mutantninja:

If that will solve the problem then why not? All that curse brainwashing is bullchit... I think OP should go violent on him and give him the beating of his life so he can have some sense... he’s a man for Christ sake , can’t be behaving like an animal

Yes both are now men, but kindly imagine your son Tying you up for WHATEVER reasons!!!


Man, some things are never done! No matter what! You don't use the same stick for flogging a silly son to flog a silly father!

The circumstances are never the same!
Parents are to get optimum respect and honor from their children, no debating this fact!
You probably don't believe in religion or spirituality, but LIFE lS ESSENTIALLY SPIRITUAL!

The curse you will incur if you disregard or dishonor your parents can never be cured by anyone else but you parents forgiveness and God alone!

There are other wiser options as advice like involving his elders or Uncles/Aunts/Boss, The Traditional Rulers of the area where they live, or even the Police/Security forces to intervene in the parental abuse.

Please i will advise you to be very careful about how you treat the elderly. You may take this advice and may not, its your life!

My life is so on a roller coaster already, i respect and regard my elderly, and i definitely almost worshiped my parents before their passing away, and despite their faults individually, God helped mw with the wisdom to disregard their personal faults and support them in every way i can!

Phillipsburg:

Sadly I'm the one that has read so much books in correcting so many things in my life like I'm the most problematic person in the world. It's like I'm not born with everything other people were born with. I'm the one without self confidence, with low self-esteem, i find myself seeking validation and acceptance from people everywhere I go. I'm still the one who usually turn the black sheep in many situations I find myself. I don't have friends and I only manage to keep tab of some people online. I spend a lot of time online just trying to avoid all these situations.

To be sincere, I'm fed up. I feel really unlucky especially when it looks like things everyone seems to be born with, i always have to strive hard to achieve them.

We are all mere mortals....
There are things that are just above us..
That we can,t see.... so many WHYs in life.....
Sometimes we need an unseen hand to turn difficult situation around.....
Dont complain... Dont get fed up... Dont whine....
Just Invest in daily midnite prayers for yourself & famliy for the next 3 months before service...

When every hope is gone, 'when helpers fail and comforts flee,' I find that help arrives somehow, from I know not where. Supplication, worship, prayer are no superstition; they are acts more real than the acts of eating, drinking, sitting or walking. It is no exaggeration to say that they alone are real, all else is unreal. Mahatma Ghandi

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

Don't support your mother until u marry. Then u will see y ur father turned a drunkard. Women (most) are naturally troublesome n wahalasome.

Any day you gather moral give am serious beating him head go correct.

Looks like they've used your brain for sacrifice. What concerns your useless post with what the op said?

Myopic gender but it is your useless ejaculating gender that's causing havoc all over the globe , raping babies in their cradles and committing 99.9% of all the violence in the world.

Big fool.

Oluromantic:
Thank God you aren't a girl. This is how some girls develop feminism or stray into the hands of a deceptive lover outside home and I don't blame them. Theyre naturally unable to endure hardship for long. Yet some still won't respect those who can cus he's not looking rich. Myopic gender!

Firstly I salute your perseverance to still keep your sanity at this stage of the ordeal. It's clear you're going through psycho-emotional trauma. I understand the trauma really well cus I went through it too. I had to spend the day out and come back at dead night for a couple of days

Do you work? Perhaps you could get a roommate and share the rent even if it's a face-to-face apartment, it's not about big boy now, it's about not losing your mind and focus. That's your best option. On a second thought, if you have a relative or friend where you can lay your head at nights, reach out to them. If you're in school, stay put in the hostel and come home only when necessary.

But truth be told, you really need a job of you're not in school. God help you bro!

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

Save enough money and leave that house as soon as possible.
About your girlfriend, her you benefiting from the relationship or she is the one benefiting from it?
When I say benefiting,I don't mean sex oo.If you are benefiting from it, stop the relationship and build your self first.

michlins:
Your parents are probably poor and you their child is also poor but want to add the burden of wife to yourself.

Your parents are fighting tooth and nail to ensure you don't tow same line with them knowing how it will make you continue their violent marriage route but all you could make out from it is they're frustrating you.

First thing you need to do is to work hard and ensure that you're not poor. Own your own place and then we can advise you

Tell they idiot. He shouldn't be talking about wife now

Oh, so generalisations are bad when it's not against women? I see

Samakus:


The bolded is really quite unfortunate from you. How people generalize based on their individual 'unfortunateness' is still a mystery to me.

For the records! Most fathers are not toxic and irresponsible. Mine certainly isn't. If yours is, my prayers are with you