davillian:
I use to be that kind of person before
I trust , I love I care and I just want to make who ever I'm with happy and comfortable but the disadvantages here is that I ignore and let lots of issues go
But most people would take advantage knowing when they say sorry it sorts or fix any issues....
Anyway it's good to be good but make your woman fear and respect you that's what I've learnt and I really don't care much or take any relationship serious right now...
The women are the ones pushing the relationship while me I'm just doing as I like....

Lol your Last statement will give you peace with women even in marriage, when they realise you have so many options and you are the price they calm down

Lucrativress:

Don't worry, that's fine
But I'm talking from facts and data's which is more effective than sentiments...

Is either you are hot or cold not warm.
Is either you add good or bad
Is either you are an angel or a devil
Is either you are generous or stingy


Live your life in such a way that when you die people will cry while you laugh in you your coffin.

Personally I hate humanising, but most of my friends humanise. I won't humanise coz most of my friends does that.

I drink alcohol but never get drunk. I won't go beyond my guage coz of friends.

Just live your life. Don't let anyone utter your lifestyle for any reason.

Hassanmaye:

Lol your Last statement will give you peace with women even in marriage, when they realise you have so many options and you are the price they calm down

We've learnt the hard way......

Hmm

Liyastitches:
From my point of view, it is because they are gullible most of the time,they tend to trust easily and overlook the hand writing on the wall.

It's also a test from God to know if your 'good heart' can stand the test of time, because good
attitude attract both good and bad, but never give up doing good, if those you are doing good to does not deserve it.

I bet you meant "nice people".. cos I got a good heart but i cut off quickly like a knife. The question should be "why does nice people always get dumped in a pit?"

As a lady I bet you already know the answer

Here we go again... if you search deeply you'd realize the so called heart breaker never wanted to make a commitment to the supposed good hearted person. There were probably nice guys/girls that came his/her way and she/he was nasty to them cos she liked the bad boy/girl. So they get treated badly and blame it on their good nature, when in real sense they liked the expetience with the bad partner and were too selfish to let go. This isn't true in all cases but in almost 90 percent. It is.

It's got nothing to do with heart, but the true intentions of the other person..........

If his/her intentions was chop and clean mouth, so shall it be, regardless of the condition of the other party's heart..........

The only point you made is that they trust easily and that they should keep doing good even if the people you are doing to does not deserve it..

Talking about they refused to read the hand writing on the wall,is it everyone that comes their ways that come with a hand writing?no one genuinely loved them and later turned bad?

To me the reason for the heart breaks is because they are too good and too soft..we tend to take good people for granted.

Agp19:
if na this level you dey Your own better now. Just small alarm ?? People like us na military armour tank den dey use safeguard the bank if we dey pass near bank....

Happy Sunday and a fruitful week ahead bro.

Haaa, I give up. Your case is critical. You no only need help, you need deliverance. Make I arrange pastor?

Lucrativress:

Lol sarcasm

Abi oo

Liyastitches:


From my point of view, it is because they are gullible most of the time,they tend to trust easily and overlook the hand writing on the wall.

I agree 100% .... that this is the root of the problem. I wouldn't say they are unlucky ... simply gullible.. One big fat guy will just stuff the last piece of a whole pizza pie in his mouth and while chewing tell one bane with a good heart that he is suffering from hunger and ask her if she can find it in her heart to buy him a pizza pie and a large Pepsi to wash it down ..... and she would. Gullible

Dukeolumidemans:


On a second note, girls like bad boys because they give it to them just the way they love it but good boys are just too predictable. They won't ask for it but when u finally give it to them, they will almost want to die in a missionary style position...

I remember my formal best friend, he didn't know where the hole was until he was around 37yreas of age. I have one now who is 40years of age and he is the true definition of goodie goodie, dude is still a virgin...

When we were in university, we had this friend staying in our hostel who had not touched a woman in his entire life. He was a goodie goodie and we decided to help him out. We organized some drinks, invited some chicks and got him high with just a bottle of star beer. We left the two of them inside his room and went outside. 20 minutes later we were hearing loud screams of pleasure from our friend. We felt he was already on top of the girl and went to collect 10% from a small hole in the window, only for us to discover he was just suckinggg only boobs and he was already screaming like someone who is about to cum...omo we fall for ground wan die with laugh.

I come in peace!!!

Haha so you guys chop for good guys to marry

seanjy4konji:
People like to take advantage of people with good heart....


Humans dont like nice people...they worshi those who maltreat them...

Thats why 90 percent of women would like a guy who smokes igbo and Bleep them hard and give them dirty slap when they miisbehave to th one that will be doing chicken and chips lover boy around them.

True that gender eh..

Beloved03:


Hmmm well said Mag but you got the premise definition wrong and perhaps that's where the confusion is.

A good person isn't necessarily a nice guy or girl.

According to the English dictionary (see links below), a good person is an honest, kind and morally inclined person.

On the contrary, a nice person (guy or girl) is only a polite and kind person.

This means that a person can be nice (polite/kind) but still cheat numerously on their spouse because they are not a good (honest/morally inclined) person.

I have had that advice for my female counterparts for years - when you are ready to settle down be sure to find a 'good' man. Because only a good man will not cheat, not shy away from commitment and responsibility, not abuse you verbally or physically.
A good man will always seek to communicate and treat you with respect.
And even when if you have to separate due to growing apart and incompatibly (sexual, religious, values etc) it will be almost amicably. You won't have to leave the relationship with scars or emotional wounds as many situation are.

And like the OP, I do believe that good natured people deserve each other and not the other way round.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/good%20people

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/thesaurus/articles/a-good-person-action-etc

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nice#:~:text=1%20%3A%20polite%2C%20kind%20a%20very,bred%20from%20a%20nice%20family

For me if your good personality can't attract another good personality, I will doubt your goodness....You can say they're inexperienced or gullible. Ones supposed goodness isn't good until it is tested by harsh circimstances

Hassanmaye:

Haha so you guys chop for good guys to marry

Not true.

Its primarily because of Sincere Life Style; As the world of today mainly live on pretence, and that is what mos people believe in

Dukeolumidemans:

Seniorwriter:


They are mostly unlucky because they have a very low Emotional Quotient...

@Seniorwriter

It is only a foolish man or woman that takes advantage of a kind person

Liyastitches:
From my point of view, it is because they are gullible most of the time,they tend to trust easily and overlook the hand writing on the wall.

It's also a test from God to know if your 'good heart' can stand the test of time, because good
attitude attract both good and bad, but never give up doing good, if those you are doing good to does not deserve it.

I am curious, can you just explain what you mean by this?

Seniorwriter:


They are mostly unlucky because they have a very low Emotional Quotient...

@Seniorwriter

silibaba:


Is either you are hot or cold not warm.
Is either you add good or bad
Is either you are an angel or a devil
Is either you are generous or stingy


Live your life in such a way that when you die people will cry while you laugh in you your coffin.

Personally I hate humanising, but most of my friends humanise. I won't humanise coz most of my friends does that.

I drink alcohol but never get drunk. I won't go beyond my guage coz of friends.

Just live your life. Don't let anyone utter your lifestyle for any reason.

If this life was straight forward,then it would have been understandable but na so we just have to be a mix of temperatures to scale life's weather's

This is the first reasonable tread on Nairaland in 2022. Mature and intelligent conversations, not the usual Afonja/ Igbo bullshit! ��

pansophist:
@lisastitches, The reason why you don't fall when you walk is that you have passed through that crawling stage when you were probably two years old. It is the same thing about good people. They are harmless and defenseless because they have not yet been stripped of their innocence by malevolent folks. Meet them maybe in three years' time, they will be a different person. That is what life is about, to live and kill off your childlike innocence, or else you will be a burnt offering for everyone. This is a different way to look at it.

I don't know why people are having issues understanding what you wrote, It is either they want to live in denial OR they want to convince themselves about what they already decided in their mind.

Most ladies didn't start thinking about money & what someone brings to the table until their innocence was killed in 100L to 200L. I can tell you for a fact some ladies didn't even know that Men give Women money in relationships until they saw their 100L friend collecting 100s of thousands from their boyfriend & they are surprised.

[quote author=Lucrativress post=110391344]
If this life was straight forward,then it would have been understandable but na so we just have to be a mix of temperatures to scale life's weather's[/quote]

midolian:
No! They are not gullible. There are just too many opportunists out there

You couldn't have said it better.

Lucrativress:

Laws that were made by man to suit his predicament.
When it comes to human dealings, they're more complex, it's not xyz
Those laws are less practical,even science said the humans mind can't be overly predicted, the best one can be is being as practical as possible.
Karma ko karma sutra ni,karma to me is more of time and chance, you can trigger karma to happen by working it to happen.
Let's imagine a man got drenched in mud water by his neighbour's SUV,then he sulks and wait for karma, yinmu,karma ko Calmag ni,if he doesn't work towards buying a sport's car or maybe AUDII,something bigger or faster so he can splash on his neighbour's car, he'll dream on cause probability of his Rich neighbor going poor without a car is .5

You absolutely don't understand anything abt what you're talking.

Stop feeling entitled to people's affections.
If you want to love, love. Doesn't mean they'd reciprocate. Learn how to conserve your affection and channel it to profitable outlets.
Move!

PeaceJoyLove:

This is another mofo. So, because you paid a bride price for the lady you will keep impregnating her even after 2 or 3 surgical operations? Na to pour only you sabi na. You need to enter a labor room and experience the pain of a woman. Na your tool dey control you. As long as its erect...everything else...you cant think right anymore. Na to pour pour raw inside her. Na so you go dey shake vigorously. No wonder dem don kill many of you with food and sex.

From where I come from, we do not see bride price as buying the woman. Maybe in your own world. And this is common to ibos. This is one of the reasons I do not like their culture. They see women as properties they buy after paying their bride price. It is why they want to collect everything when selling the girl off. And they give the first son everything. Well done oooo. Very terrible culture. How has it helped you all? It has made you think tour wife is your property.
Mehn! What culture has turned some people to. It is a pity.

Let me inform you. Whether you paid birth price or not (cos culture has closed up your brain), very soon, we will push for 1 child policy for every decade in Nigeria. Inknow you want to be fuc.king raw. That's your problem. ..right? Very disgusting set of people.

You better keep to yourself and leave my posts alone. Raw fuc. ker....population explosive tool.. We will soon start castrating you after 1 child so we can have peace in this Nigeria..

The insults in your post have overshadowed the points I was trying to make out of it.
I guess you were just looking for who to vent your frustrations on after all.

CHII2017:
That s exactly why some of us with good heart are been lied to,cheated and deceived because we don't have the heart of revenge or retailation. But I know God ll see us through and give us men that ll cherish us.

Cherish yourself first.

Cherish yourself to the point you appear selfish.

And continue cherishing yourself even after meeting and settling down with that man.

The cherishing of self should only stop when you take your last breadth.

Farfalla:


Make I differ small.

It is the "good" men who leave scars and emotional wounds because they usually betray you after passing off as reliable. When women are around playboys, they guard their hearts, but almost always lose their guard when around these so-called good men. These "decent" men are not usually obsessed about living a life of excitement, so many women tend to think that they're a safer option. But that right there is the mistake they make. Ask anyone walking around with emotional scars. 90% of the time, their trauma wasn't caused by "bad" people. They were caused by people they thought they were safe with. The betrayal will usually be deeper because it came from an unexpected source - the good man. When the good man chooses to strike, you'll never see it coming. He'll snap and chew you into pieces before you even ask, "what's going on?"

"Good" men don't shy away from commitment, but that's because it's a strategy they use to earn your trust. They're the ones who dangle marriage and commitment within 3 hours of your meeting. Within 48 hours, you'll be introduced to his mother and sisters. And within 74 hours his parish priest knows you. In your head your thinking, "wow, this man knows what he wants!". What you don't know is that, while he's pursuing a fake commitment with you, he's in the process of ghosting another lady who 3 months ago had been introduced to his family.

This is where I also differ with you. These "nice" men don't break up amicably. They do not have the liver to break up with anyone face-to-face. They have zero balls. Zero testicles. They cannot hold difficult conversations (not even in the boardroom). Usually they just ghost the lady by not picking her calls, not replying her messages, and expect her to "get the memo". That's where a ladies man beats them hands down.

That ladies man, that one who flirts with every girl, but refuses to settle down will never make promises, and when a situationship or entanglement with him is not working out anymore he'll break up with the lady intelligently. They never burn bridges. "Good" men do.

All things considered, whether the man is your definition of a good man or otherwise, expect the best, but prepare for the worst.

Well said. I could only but agree with your post.
You are full of wisdom.

Liyastitches:
From my point of view, it is because they are gullible most of the time,they tend to trust easily and overlook the hand writing on the wall.

It's also a test from God to know if your 'good heart' can stand the test of time, because good
attitude attract both good and bad, but never give up doing good, if those you are doing good to does not deserve it.

A heart is good if it is wise. A foolish heart is a trash can. People get into bad relationships because of a deadly mix of ignorance, greed and lust. I was once a fool like that until I learned and removed lust as a criterion for choosing a lady...as soon as I did that my Queen walked into my life and I could recognize her almost immediately.

Farfalla:


Make I differ small.

It is the "good" men who leave scars and emotional wounds because they usually betray you after passing off as reliable. When women are around playboys, they guard their hearts, but almost always lose their guard when around these so-called good men. These "decent" men are not usually obsessed about living a life of excitement, so many women tend to think that they're a safer option. But that right there is the mistake they make. Ask anyone walking around with emotional scars. 90% of the time, their trauma wasn't caused by "bad" people. They were caused by people they thought they were safe with. The betrayal will usually be deeper because it came from an unexpected source - the good man. When the good man chooses to strike, you'll never see it coming. He'll snap and chew you into pieces before you even ask, "what's going on?"

"Good" men don't shy away from commitment, but that's because it's a strategy they use to earn your trust. They're the ones who dangle marriage and commitment within 3 hours of your meeting. Within 48 hours, you'll be introduced to his mother and sisters. And within 74 hours his parish priest knows you. In your head your thinking, "wow, this man knows what he wants!". What you don't know is that, while he's pursuing a fake commitment with you, he's in the process of ghosting another lady who 3 months ago had been introduced to his family.

This is where I also differ with you. These "nice" men don't break up amicably. They do not have the liver to break up with anyone face-to-face. They have zero balls. Zero testicles. They cannot hold difficult conversations (not even in the boardroom). Usually they just ghost the lady by not picking her calls, not replying her messages, and expect her to "get the memo". That's where a ladies man beats them hands down.

That ladies man, that one who flirts with every girl, but refuses to settle down will never make promises, and when a situationship or entanglement with him is not working out anymore he'll break up with the lady intelligently. They never burn bridges. "Good" men do.

All things considered, whether the man is your definition of a good man or otherwise, expect the best, but prepare for the worst.

Haunty, the person you described above is NOT a good person. Instead, he's a player with a different strategy... period.

CHII2017:
That s exactly why some of us with good heart are been lied to,cheated and deceived because we don't have the heart of revenge or retailation.But I know God ll see us through and give us men that ll cherish us.

It's a cruel world so bad things happen to everyone, including good people.

SmartPolician:

Haunty, the person you described above is NOT a good person. Instead, he's a player with a different strategy... period.

Maybe you're right.