Lostchild:



You are correct

U can count on people to lean on

emmanuelbrown26:

U can count on people to lean on

[quote]

In the actual sense, no woman is non-submissive . She's only that because she hasn't probably seen a man stronger and possess qualities that are more than hers.The moment she see one , she'll become featherless.

leksite120:
In the actual sense, no woman is non-submissive . She's only that because she hasn't probably seen a man stronger and possess qualities that are more than hers.The moment she see one , she'll become featherless.

I believe your words

That is how it is.

SeaTrade:
Not a good thing to do to your ego.
Even if she loves you,what will her friends(possibly in her class) think of you?
Will you be comfortable meeting them?
It'll destroy your confidence.
And also make you push your self to impossible limits just to catch up that will always end up to fail because you want to jump many steps at a time to catch up to a woman's lifestyle and acceptance.
Then of course it won't work,then you end up depressed,thinking low of yourself and eventually accept your fate ,walking in a woman's shadow.
Run!

Have u ever experienced this??

PrimadonnaO:
Eventually, it would be different strokes for different folks.

I know this thread is for men to share their experiences. But that kind of union will have both parties walking about on eggshells with each other...

Woman trying so hard to not bruise man's ego...
They go out, and she slips her card to him so it looks like he's the one paying.
Trying to dim her light so he can shine comfortably.

Man trying to act unbothered...
Trying to prove it's all love and mutual respect and wokeness...
Trying to hold firmly to the reins he already feels left his grasp...

*********
That scenario up there is for couples who are honestly trying to make it work..

For most others, it's gbas gbos...

Woman wants to live her best life... Freely, as she pleases.
Submission may be challenging
She may a couple of times remind him who takes the lion share of running the home...

For the man, he's always wearing his insecurity on his sleeves....
Won't let her buy the new big car...
Won't agree to change the kids' school
Wants to suppress her and establishes unnecessary laws just to show control...

Starts cheating.

You once had this experiences, I guess

DevilsEqual:



Have u ever experienced this??

Yes.
That's how i got to know.
Any particular reason why?

SeaTrade:
Yes.
That's how i got to know.
Any particular reason why?

Bro,I'm in same situation now and its affecting both my mental health and my self-esteem


I've tried reaching out to most people to advise me but I'm still troubled about this...for how long shall I remain in her shadow

DevilsEqual:


Bro,I'm in same situation now and its affecting both my mental health and my self-esteem


I've tried reaching out to most people to advise me but I'm still troubled about this...for how long shall I remain in her shadow

Why are you still with her if she troubles you this much like you say?

Date your salary level or the woman you can afford, so you won’t have to be posting this nonsense online.

SeaTrade:
Why are you still with her if she troubles you this much like you say?

Sir,can we chat on WhatsApp?
Just need to speak to someone who's been in my shoes before

Maybe I'm just feeling unnecessarily intimidated or have self-esteem issues...I don't even know

DevilsEqual:

Sir,can we chat on WhatsApp?
Just need to speak to someone who's been in my shoes before

Maybe I'm just feeling unnecessarily intimidated or have self-esteem issues...I don't even know

Would love to remai anonymous,no hard feelings bro.
I can give you whatever guidance you need here.

The best way to treat such a woman is to pretend her wealth is nothing to you. Face your hustle, and dont ever ask her for anything or depend on her money. She will respect you the more and willingly offer to do things, while your integrity will be intact.

SeaTrade:
Would love to remai anonymous,no hard feelings bro.
I can give you whatever guidance you need here.

Sir,its a long story,I'd struggle to type long and that's why I suggested WhatsApp where I could be able to send voice notes plus chat screenshots

We need to talk sir cause the thing has damaged me very much

SeaTrade:
Not a good thing to do to your ego.
Even if she loves you,what will her friends(possibly in her class) think of you?
Will you be comfortable meeting them?
It'll destroy your confidence.
And also make you push your self to impossible limits just to catch up that will always end up to fail because you want to jump many steps at a time to catch up to a woman's lifestyle and acceptance.
Then of course it won't work,then you end up depressed,thinking low of yourself and eventually accept your fate ,walking in a woman's shadow.
Run!

Bro please kindly let's talk about this
Its currently affecting me badly as I'm in same situation now

DevilsEqual:


Bro please kindly let's talk about this
Its currently affecting me badly as I'm in same situation now

We can talk,the only issue I have is you trying to move over to WhatsApp.
I can't compromise my anonymity over this I'm sorry.
If you can talk here then its fine by me.
Cheers mehn.

SeaTrade:
We can talk,the only issue I have is you trying to move over to WhatsApp.
I can't compromise my anonymity over this I'm sorry.
If you can talk here then its fine by me.
Cheers mehn.

Oh, its fine sir,I actually requested for that cause narrating the ordeal would be too hectic to do via texting and I felt sending an audio note and even her very own audio note would go a long way

As at the last time I messages you,we were still together and she broke up just 2 days ago...it cut deeper when her reason for doing that has to do with her zero confidence in me as per how well I'll fare in the next few months

DevilsEqual:


Oh, its fine sir,I actually requested for that cause narrating the ordeal would be too hectic to do via texting and I felt sending an audio note and even her very own audio note would go a long way

As at the last time I messages you,we were still together and she broke up just 2 days ago...it cut deeper when her reason for doing that has to do with her zero confidence in me as per how well I'll fare in the next few months

Let her go,these aren't the types to keep and lose sleep over.Focus on your job and do well at it,you will meet a great lady along the line.
Funny thing is she isn't as rich as you think,a few blessings here and there will reveal this to you.
A woman who really has bread will not break up with you for this reason,especially giving you timelines.
She's not confident of her finances in the next few months ,that's why she wants you to transform to aliko overnight so you can support her bleak future.
I even think say she get money sef smh..

SeaTrade:
Let her go,these aren't the types to keep and lose sleep over.Focus on your job and do well at it,you will meet a great lady along the line.
Funny thing is she isn't as rich as you think,a few blessings here and there will reveal this to you.
A woman who really has bread will not break up with you for this reason,especially giving you timelines.
She's not confident of her finances in the next few months ,that's why she wants you to transform to aliko overnight so you can support her bleak future.
I even think say she get money sef smh..

Hmm...I just finished Nysc and enrolled my Nysc savings in acquiring some professional certifications...and been trying to do some menial job to hold body while applying for major ones, so practically I'm not gallant but she does few things and she claims she earns 100k every month for many side hustles so she seems bigger than me for now

That's where it started and she feels everyone who doesn't earn as much as she does are very lazy, claims I'm too lazy,hence the reason why I earn that low, its even more funny that whenever I tried to ask her link me up to some of her hustles, she'd tell me it disgust her to meet a man who'd be asking a lady for his whereabouts and would never share any insightful business idea despite claiming she does 3 stuffs that earns her that much(although I only know of one thing she does,which is working for a woman who sells baking stuffs in one of Lagos markets as a sales rep and she claims she gets paid 2,500 everyday...as for the other hustles that top it to 100k,I don't know about them but she goes to work every day so she can't possibly be a runs girl)

According to her,if she could juggle all these together, then I'm lazy if I can't... I'm learning video editing now and wanna try out my hands in E-marketing and start anyhow after undergoing some tutorials yet her tough words have created a strong self doubt in me I don't even have as much confidence as its required


There's more to this though...I don't even believe in myself

DevilsEqual:


Hmm...I just finished Nysc and enrolled my Nysc savings in acquiring some professional certifications...and been trying to do some menial job to hold body while applying for major ones, so practically I'm not gallant but she does few things and she claims she earns 100k every month for many side hustles so she seems bigger than me for now

That's where it started and she feels everyone who doesn't earn as much as she does are very lazy, claims I'm too lazy,hence the reason why I earn that low, its even more funny that whenever I tried to ask her link me up to some of her hustles, she'd tell me it disgust her to meet a man who'd be asking a lady for his whereabouts and would never share any insightful business idea despite claiming she does 3 stuffs that earns her that much(although I only know of one thing she does,which is working for a woman who sells baking stuffs in one of Lagos markets as a sales rep and she claims she gets paid 2,500 everyday...as for the other hustles that top it to 100k,I don't know about them but she goes to work every day so she can't possibly be a runs girl)

According to her,if she could juggle all these together, then I'm lazy if I can't... I'm learning video editing now and wanna try out my hands in E-marketing and start anyhow after undergoing some tutorials yet her tough words have created a strong self doubt in me I don't even have as much confidence as its required


There's more to this though...I don't even believe in myself

Na poverty and frustration be her problem,that's how poor people are.
I won't advise you to make any compromises with her because she can't even afford to offer you anything.
She is sounding like she's doing you a favour to date you ba?dump her.Let her go and date the people she can look up to,but where it'll get funny is those people wouldn't look at a female sales rep for a one man business that earn that low twice,so her options are really low in the dating market she even desires.
Even sales reps for BAT with brand new hilux and 600k salary never do this one,before na one hungry clown.
Focus on your life and grind,better women will come along the way with better offers,not this hungry,frustrated wannabe.

SeaTrade:
Let her go,these aren't the types to keep and lose sleep over.Focus on your job and do well at it,you will meet a great lady along the line.
Funny thing is she isn't as rich as you think,a few blessings here and there will reveal this to you.
A woman who really has bread will not break up with you for this reason,especially giving you timelines.
She's not confident of her finances in the next few months ,that's why she wants you to transform to aliko overnight so you can support her bleak future.
I even think say she get money sef smh..

Guy, you no go ever change.

SeaTrade:
Na poverty and frustration be her problem,that's how poor people are.
I won't advise you to make any compromises with her because she can't even afford to offer you anything.
She is sounding like she's doing you a favour to date you ba?dump her.Let her go and date the people she can look up to,but where it'll get funny is those people wouldn't look at a female sales rep for a one man business that earn that low twice,so her options are really low in the dating market she even desires.
Even sales reps for BAT with brand new hilux and 600k salary never do this one,before na one hungry clown.
Focus on your life and grind,better women will come along the way with better offers,not this hungry,frustrated wannabe.

The gulf in our reasoning is amazing, do you know that she still feels she's currently far bigger than me cause she once sent me a VN that even though she's a student,she still supports herself,pay her bills,even send money to her siblings her have more savings than me that has no responsibility?

Whenever I ruminate on most of her words, I feel broken and since then I still do menial jobs,I tend to see her as bigger since she earns more
I need a man's advise and harsh world to rebuild my self-esteem... I just wanna be me and not compete with her


Sir,you feel she's broke but then in reality,she still earns more than me...Hmm

SeaTrade:
We can talk,the only issue I have is you trying to move over to WhatsApp.
I can't compromise my anonymity over this I'm sorry.
If you can talk here then its fine by me.
Cheers mehn.

Stop shying away from mentorship opportunities. LOL.

DevilsEqual:


The gulf in our reasoning is amazing, do you know that she still feels she's currently far bigger than me cause she once sent me a VN that even though she's a student,she still supports herself,pay her bills,even send money to her siblings her have more savings than me that has no responsibility?

Whenever I ruminate on most of her words, I feel broken and since then I still do menial jobs,I tend to see her as bigger since she earns more
I need a man's advise and harsh world to rebuild my self-esteem... I just wanna be me and not compete with her


Sir,you feel she's broke but then in reality,she still earns more than me...Hmm

The best thing that you can do is dump her,bit if you insist to be with her then focus on just the sex only.
I repeat,there's nothing you can ever gain from such a person.
Also,I don't think there's any part of Nigeria that a net income of 100k monthly can pass for succesful or evencomfortable.
Even though she makes more than you,it doesn't change reality of the social class she belongs.
Why I brought it up is that its mostly people of that class that behaves the way she does.Little things look so big to them.
Keep hustling ,keep learning,be honest to peoe and yourself,avoid doing things wrh your hand no reach.
Trust me,money will come .And you will look bqck from a better position and understand the things I am telling you now more.
I have worn these same shoes before,my escape was leaving her and focusing on myself and trade,and I now see clearly.

HRSweetness:


Stop shying away from mentorship opportunities. LOL.

hahaha how are you?

DevilsEqual:


Hmm...I just finished Nysc and enrolled my Nysc savings in acquiring some professional certifications...and been trying to do some menial job to hold body while applying for major ones, so practically I'm not gallant but she does few things and she claims she earns 100k every month for many side hustles so she seems bigger than me for now

That's where it started and she feels everyone who doesn't earn as much as she does are very lazy, claims I'm too lazy,hence the reason why I earn that low, its even more funny that whenever I tried to ask her link me up to some of her hustles, she'd tell me it disgust her to meet a man who'd be asking a lady for his whereabouts and would never share any insightful business idea despite claiming she does 3 stuffs that earns her that much(although I only know of one thing she does,which is working for a woman who sells baking stuffs in one of Lagos markets as a sales rep and she claims she gets paid 2,500 everyday...as for the other hustles that top it to 100k,I don't know about them but she goes to work every day so she can't possibly be a runs girl)

According to her,if she could juggle all these together, then I'm lazy if I can't... I'm learning video editing now and wanna try out my hands in E-marketing and start anyhow after undergoing some tutorials yet her tough words have created a strong self doubt in me I don't even have as much confidence as its required


There's more to this though...I don't even believe in myself

Sorry, I don't mean to be intrusive but I couldn't just ignore your post.

You seem to be a young guy with a pretty good head sitting on your shoulders.
I know this from the boldened.

Trust me, you don't need that girl. She's got nothing valuable to offer. She's not a team player and you don't need someone who is unwilling to work with you to reach your full potentials.

I bet that she'd come running back if she sees you've got things going well for you, with no sense of shame.

Please focus on you, you'll attract a beautiful woman that recognizes your value.

SeaTrade:
hahaha how are you?

Step into our hang out spot

HRSweetness:


Step into our hang out spot

Haha just holla if my attention is needed there.

Raalsalghul:




Guy, you no go ever change.

Haha you know the drill.
When they start giving timelines,know that they aren't even sure of their own finances in the long run and are looking to build a support system in their boyfriends before the inevitable happens.
Girls that are doing well have no business with this.Quote me anywhere.

HRSweetness:


Sorry, I don't mean to be intrusive but I couldn't just ignore your post.

You seem to be a young guy with a pretty good head sitting on your shoulders.
I know this from the boldened.

Trust me, you don't need that girl. She's got nothing valuable to offer. She's not a team player and you don't need someone who is unwilling to work with you to reach your full potentials.

I bet that she'd come running back if she sees you've got things going well for you, with no sense of shame.

Please focus on you, you'll attract a beautiful woman that recognizes your value.

Hmm...thanks for your input,ma
Don't mind me, she's my first love and the only Lady I've known all my life,so I guess that's why I tend to struggle to move on from the heartbreak

But let me also add that she's a hardworking lady too,she's currently learning a trade (fashion designing),just finished her NCE and decided to work for a year before going back for her degree, Her plan is to save up all her earnings, get a shop,buy sewing equipment,plus refrigerator and generator,stock up her shop with drinks and all,pay her school fees and still rent an apartment for herself before resuming for her degree next year January


You can see that she seems to be visionary too ,ambitious and feels my slow pace visible movement isnt a good indication of whatever she wants for her man and that's why most of her harsh words tend to pierce and break me down

Even when I think I'm on the right path,whenever I look around and see how well she's been fairing, i tend to experience self doubt and start thinking maybe I'm not doing enough too or maybe I'm as lazy as she thinks but its not so...


I used to feel I lost a value-packed lady and I'm not sure she feels same, I don't care though ,just that I'm not sure if I even have values embedded in me...I don't even believe in my own self and my journey again

SeaTrade...kindly read this sir

DevilsEqual:

Hmm...thanks for your input,ma
Don't mind me, she's my first love and the only Lady I've known all my life,so I guess that's why I tend to struggle to move on from the heartbreak

But let me also add that she's a hardworking lady too,she's currently learning a trade (fashion designing),just finished her NCE and decided to work for a year before going back for her degree, Her plan is to save up all her earnings, get a shop,buy sewing equipment,plus refrigerator and generator,stock up her shop with drinks and all,pay her school fees and still rent an apartment for herself before resuming for her degree next year January


You can see that she seems to be visionary too ,ambitious and feels my slow pace visible movement isnt a good indication of whatever she wants for her man and that's why most of her harsh words tend to pierce and break me down

Even when I think I'm on the right path,whenever I look around and see how well she's been fairing, i tend to experience self doubt and start thinking maybe I'm not doing enough too or maybe I'm as lazy as she thinks but its not so...


I used to feel I lost a value-packed lady and I'm not sure she feels same, I don't care though ,just that I'm not sure if I even have values embedded in me...I don't even believe in my own self and my journey again

SeaTrade...kindly read this sir

Awwww. Heart break sucks.

She sure is ambitious from all you've described.

If you're certain that you aren't lazy and you actually have goals and a clear direction to reaching those goals and you're also willing to make the right moves to see them through, then stay focused on you.

Let her be for now before she begins to find you irritating.

You also need to stop the unhealthy competition and comparisons.
You should only aim to outdo yourself.