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ibechris:



U cant buy property in your baby mama's name now...but I have purchased property on two occasions with my wife's name without any need to regret it. But u dare not with your baby mama or girl friend
I have kept all my life savings in my wife's personal accounts which many of u dare not do with your baby mama's out there.

On the day of my wedding I got a jeep from my brother but u can't get it from impregnating a baby mama.

Guy,I still maintain my stand,that marriage is good. I and my wife have made 6.6million naira in three months just for working together as partners in our side hustle. But u can never achieve that with your baby mama's.

ibechris:



Men benefits more in marriage than women.

you married your God ordained wife. I understand exactly how it feels when you marry right. Everything goes smoothly. Even if their is an issue, it's settled before the following day

That's why is good to seek God's direction before marriage, it would have saved a lot of people from the troubles they are facing now in their marriage.

Hathor5:
Edited

Now that I have read the entire story, I have this to say. You blame that other people tricked you into marriage by saying that marriage life was sweet. Your experience was bitter though.

Did you ask those people how they made their marriages sweet? Or did you believe it takes a wedding ceremony for a marriage to be sweet?

You say that your single life was awesome. Did the things you were enjoying before you got married fall from heaven? Or had you worked for them?

Why do you people put so much effort into their careers but believe that a good relationship/marriage must fall from heaven? Why are people willing and ready to go the extra mile for their career goals but not for their marriages/relationships/families?

The truth is: if you want your marriage/relationship to be sweet, be ready to work for it.

I wish those other people would have told you that too.

Oh he should be ready to work for it like Will Smith right, eh??

lexy2014:


How did u come to the conclusion that "the marriage rate is declining yearly"? Did you conduct any research to that effect? Where did u conduct the research?

40-45% of marriages nowadays end in divorce with women initiating divorces 80-85% of the time. These are stats that can be gotten by The Family Institute and the census bureau.

BigBashiru:


Marriage benefits women more.... when you get married u sign up to take care of an expired olosho all ur life..... u sign up to take care of her financially all her life.... that's why they love it and that's why the financial stress is too much for men ....

You've said it all boss.. happy easter

ukaface:
really, I don't.

Money, sex, comfort, status, little or no responsibilities, security, children.... the list is endless.

sgtponzihater1:


Apt. Narcissistic is possibly the best word to describe this.
She claimed she wakes up at 1 to 2pm because nurses shift is long and hard, so it take 2 days to recover.

When I return from work, she asks her mum to send the child to stay with me. Obviously I do nothing at work, and come back refreshed. While she and her mum fold their arms watching Niaja movie in a house I pay for.

Thanks for your advise.

I am reading this thread not logging in nd I had to rush to log in. My heart bleeds when u made mention of her mom which I believe she’s aware of her daughter’s character and couldn’t call her to terms. At this point u need more of God to grant you maximum peace and I’m pleased u made made mention of your closeness with God. Pls hang in there and I implore u to do whatever it can take u to get back your sanity. Remain blessed.!!!

Murphyenemuwe:
Lol... When I was much Younger I questioned so many things foolishly. Like how will you tell me I must not disclose my earnings to my partner? Then why did God say we're one and not two? Mumu me. Not married tho but to form faithful guy I go post my paycheck to my girl. She was supportive to be sincere. But the moment she knew money was flowing in she just has this desire to ask Everytime. She's working o. I learnt that lesson the bitter way. Before we broke up if na 10 naira be contract wey enter I go tell am 2 naira. A war was waged against marriage the moment they conceived in their hearts men and women should be equal. They were never meant to be equal. As weird as this may sound, women were never created to have power. I'm talking in the confines of marriage. Submit to your husbands and husbands should love the wife. Civilization changed the rules and we shouldn't expect the same result

Thanks for your input Sir. Happy Easter.

SocialJustice:
It is only here I see people not interested in marriage but in life, everybody wants to marry and societal pressure is heavy.

No lies

Ngwababe

LadyRosa:
You married a very self entitled,lazy woman who is badly nutured.Her mom is also not well trained.Very nasty upbringing!No brother of mine will ever make this mistake, except he didn't tell me.Them trust me na,I get the mind them no get.If I have an in law like yours,She won't even get pregnant before she is kicked out of the house alongside her mother.Yes!I go EXTRA length when I want something done.

What nonsense!

My elder brother's wife played that game at the beginning of their marriage.I heard rumors of her bullshit,I ignored.Came home during one of my office breaks Alas!I met him too in the family house looking all slim and weary A once vibrant young energetic man.I asked him why he was looking like that ,he laughed and downplay the reasons.Lied,but I Know the rumors already.

Kept quiet....

Till she messed up right in a family reunion.

First I reminded her she is a pauper,her father is a carpenter and her mom is not in the country to protect her as she is remarried.Nobody will clearly fight for you,you don't have the money nor the connection,nor the leverage.I open openly told my brother there that his ex gf is still available,and willing to return whenever he changes his mind.I will single handedly pay a new woman's dowry and bring her home.Her mother had to call me to apologize on her daughters behalf after the fool told me she'd leave with her child.I told her mother point black her daughter will not be alive to take even a single baby socks out of any house belonging to my father's house.Not even a diaper.I will personally bundle you out!

Now,my elder brother is a very quiet, conservative guy who never stay out late.I love him so much, very much and the man he choose to be.Them no born any woman well to run am down AS LONG AS I'M ALIVE.I will bury that woman and order for an expensive black shade for her burial.

The wife is very calm now.Like she went herself to buy humility she lacked from the local market.I don't even call her,no member of the family behaves like she exists when she is around.

God bless you sweetheart (don't mind me I'm using words that aren't called for, but you truly are a sweetheart). Thank you for standing up for your brother.

LocalStandard1:
Wow, good write up. Personally I think some men are tricked into that 'union' and they should have their ignorance to blame.

If you must marry, baba marry a virgin, you will grow to trust her. Not a repented harlot, trust me.

But if you want children pls and pls just adopt. Do not bring a child in a shitty arrangement
you call 'baby mama, daddy', for the fear of God. Am talking from personal experience now.
Thank you

Best response

odinson1:

I guess it is impossible to procreate without marriage then.

Open your eyes man,look around and tell me one Thing you EXCLUSIVELY gain being married

go sit-down u no just like marriage.
if you don't like it Allow people that find interest in it.
marriage has been for centuries.
there are good marriage and bad marriage that's what I know.
bad marriage doesn't mean good one no dey.
if you don't value marriage others people do.

sgtponzihater1:
Cerebral physics:

They expect a who is at fault type write-up. The finger always points back to men in this case. You didn't search well, you didn't study her, you didn't investigate.

Interesting as the above line of thought sounds, it puts the buck back at the feet of men. Men would always be the mule that bears the brunt.

Nothing wrong shaming a pot bellied man, but it's offensive to call a lady fat; use plus sized instead. Like no harm calling a man jobless and lazy, but a woman who makes up at 12noon is one who just want to relax and be taken care of.

Life is hard for men. The only thing men need is someone to cheer him on. Tell him well done for the little he is doing, and tell him don't worry when he fails, we can try again tomorrow.

It will all be well with all the men putting in the work, and all the tears dropping down their brows will not counting as nothing in the end.

SgtPonziHater

Men only need a cheerleader. But even that is tacitly gatekept from them. You're forced to toil away like a mule and only get cheers if you ever reap a bountiful harvest.

But not all men will reap bountiful harvest. Matter of fact only a few percentage of men will ever reap a harvest, nevermind one that's bountiful.

life is an endless stream of strife for these men who get the shorter end of the stick.
They must watch the world unnapreciated as the golden boys fvvk their crushes.
They must deal with resounding ridicule every day on end.
They must bear the torment of being the brunt of the litter.
They must understand that they don't matter. They are useless. Their existence is only a reference to put the magnificence of 'better' men in perspective.

We are emotional beings. These men NEED emotional stimulus to feel alive. They need their cheerleader. They never get it. And its a sad world until they die miserable death or by some miracle of chance (and sweat) ascend to the 'better' men category.

Woe onto men.

sgtponzihater1:
The very beginning:

This is one question I probably know the answer to. I could afford a flat, My cable subscription was on point, I hardly ran out of data, except my smile plug was temporary offline, and I could very well feed myself with all the sort of meals I wanted. I also was far above average for a cook.

I really was not thinking of a wife at all. Ladies came and went. I knew while women can be pleasurable, living with them forever could probably cause a strain. So I avoided them for nearly 30years of my life if not more. I obviously was not a Saint, yet I tried my best to do no harm.

Then the scammers came. I can remember all of them. They saw my good life and wished me suffering. They painted the wrong narrative. "PonziHater, you shouldn't be cooking all this soup yourself and doing the dishes everything. "You need a woman to soften things up", when they found me in the restaurant eating "ogufe", they blurted out loudly that I was just a wasting money when I could have a wife to easen things up. They made vague references men who were supposedly living happier lives because of the women in their life. All these men were disgruntled, but kept a fake smile to sell a false narrative

The truth it was it was all brainwash. I felt good, happy and free. I couldn't afford the best designers, but my shirt were "red tag", and my pants were decent. I could fuel my car, and "afford" any lady on the daily. I truly then did not understand the softening of life that they claimed Marriage will bring, but with their emphasis, I thought of a near heaven, where lovely meals, a lot of sex, children calling me daddy and a wife to walk to in the park. What I found going forward was just like being at the peak of orgasm in a brothel, just at the point when the police were breaking in. It was some pleasure subsequently followed by gross imprisonment. It was going to hell on a 24hours drive, and then returning only to be stopped in the middle of nowhere by robbers. It was the most distasteful experience a man could see.

To be continued

ChiefSgtPonziHater

yes, that's the mistake you men make. You fall for pretentious people. She probably ur karma

ibechris:




Is not about being lucky,if u must succeed in marriage u have to first of all see marriage as business.

Detail what u want at the time both of u are still into relationship and when this is done,u will see everything working out as planned.

When I was dating my wife,I told her about what I intend to achieve before I get to the age of 40. One of which was to have not less than 10 plots of land in two states of the federation. Which today,we are at the 7th plots before I shall get to my target age

And her answer was that,she would help me to achieve my dreams especially the positive ones. We discussed our future children and how many we intend to have as we proceed to getting marrying then.

The fact is what works for Mr. A, may not work for another but the major thing is writing those plan/goals down as it would help u to coordinate your marital ambition beautifully.

Marriage is good especially if come into it with a road map and know who u are marrying, if not,u may be heading downward the hill but if u can do the necessary things requires of u,u will smile at the end.

Human beings and pride.

Just admit that you are LUCKY.

No one has anything figured out. Some people trust their gut feelings, and get it right. Some people make great plans, and still fail.

You are lucky. It takes two to tango. Supposing you had all these great plans, and your wife pretended to accept them. What if you married her, and she changed and became highly critical of all your plans.

You are lucky to have a good woman. That is all. No need to boast about detailing any nonsense plan. The plan you detailed worked simply because you married a sincere woman. If you married a pretender, that plan will immediately be thrown into the waste bin.

cococandy:
Any day nairaland men are not crying about girls and women, is that even a real day? Did the sun even rise? Always super obsessed. Eesh

Lol shut up.

If they have tears, allow them cry.
You're always quick to denigrate men, whether it's for their emotions/pain or their problems with women.

Begs the question, what's your issue. You're extending your emotional manipulation from your matrimonial home onto Nairaland?

I never understand how people talk about marriage but God who is the founder of the union is nowhere to be found. How una take dey do marriage without God.

Hathor5:
Edited

Now that I have read the entire story, I have this to say. You blame that other people tricked you into marriage by saying that marriage life was sweet. Your experience was bitter though.

Did you ask those people how they made their marriages sweet? Or did you believe it takes a wedding ceremony for a marriage to be sweet?

You say that your single life was awesome. Did the things you were enjoying before you got married fall from heaven? Or had you worked for them?

Why do you people put so much effort into their careers but believe that a good relationship/marriage must fall from heaven? Why are people willing and ready to go the extra mile for their career goals but not for their marriages/relationships/families?

The truth is: if you want your marriage/relationship to be sweet, be ready to work for it.

I wish those other people would have told you that too.

This is the best response I've seen here. That has always been my stand. You have to work to have a good marriage just as we work to have every other good result we achieve. The only problem here is that it involves two parties and BOTH of you must be willing to work on it to achieve a desired result. The problem comes when one person is the only person the work to make a marriage work. OUR main hope and prayer is to find who is also willing to work on the relationship

It takes real wisdom to survive marriage.
Like someone asked, if marriage had an expiry date, will men want to renew?
It is a good question, and I think men should ask their women, if your woman knows you won't like to renew, then she should know you are not enjoying such Union at all.

odinson1:

The marriage rate is declining yearly,more men who gain more in marriage (according to you),are opting out for their Peace of mind and freedom.
Now i ask again,what do you gain in marriage that i won't gain being unmarried? By gain i mean something Tangible and Exclusive to only men.

I will not like to talk much about this issue, when you find a good woman you will understand, I have been with my wife since 2006.

ExcelDBM:


Money, sex, comfort, status, little or no responsibilities, security, children.... the list is endless.

so the man won't benefit sex, comfort, status, children.
And why do y'all keep saying women have little or no responsibilities? Where do you people meet this kinda women? What do you guys talk about while dating?sex?

Do you guys go into marriage without talking about how to deal with finances? And then you expect her to shoulder responsibilities?
You guys have no right to complain sef, shebi Una dey claim head of house, who else is supposed to provide the family with security? Men of course. Children that you mentioned, ain't they also the for the man? Both men and women benefit from marriage, make Una no dey blow things out of proportion. Do the necessary thing during dating .
Most men, and women too jump into marriage without knowing anything about marriage, no developed mindset as regards marriage and parenting and when it becomes burdensome they start complaining to every other person. Marriage can never be a bed of roses, and one thing men and women should stop feeling they own the other spouse, you can't own a person.

Someone should please help me with ₦700 to buy food to eat please am hungry I need food and if you also have job for me to sustain I ll appreciate please help me I beg I need food am hungry thanks and God bless 066 Seventy 96 036 Gtb

sgtponzihater1:
The very beginning:

Then the scammers came. I can remember all of them. They saw my good life and wished me suffering. They painted the wrong narrative. "PonziHater, you shouldn't be cooking all this soup yourself and doing the dishes everything. "You need a woman to soften things up", when they found me in the restaurant eating "ogufe", they blurted out loudly that I was just a wasting money when I could have a wife to easen things up. They made vague references men who were supposedly living happier lives because of the women in their life. [s] All these men were disgruntled, but kept a fake smile to sell a false narrative [/s]

To be continued

Fallacy spotted there!
Then, you didn't know the person you married.
Then, you're a SIMP.
Then, you are just a good writer.

ExcelDBM:


God bless you. Happy Easter

God bless you too.

ibechris:



U cant buy property in your baby mama's name now...but I have purchased property on two occasions with my wife's name without any need to regret it. But u dare not with your baby mama or girl friend

I have kept all my life savings in my wife's personal accounts which many of u dare not do with your baby mama's out there.

If she divorces you, you'll quickly understand why these are not benefits.

It's the" London wife thing"


Bear with em, once they arrive London, they loose all sense of home training

ibechris:



I have benefited immensely from Marriage like it or not.

Marriage benefits far outweighs its disadvantage. When it comes to investments,my wife is my partner and my advisor and in fact,someone I rely on to offer her cherished ideas.

I have never been depressed as a married man but many of u singles are already depressed with baby mama's.

Financially,married people like me reach their financial goals faster than singles out there...who are looking for a baby mama to impregnate.

Married people have shown commitment to appointments and responsibilities than singles.

Marriage is a driving force that helps u to take ethical responsibility and that is why u will see more unserious singles caught as yahoo plus men.

@bolded.

You are either a woman or a frustrated liar. How dare you say a married man is likely to mert his financial goal faster than a single man.

You shuld better shut up if you've got nothing to say

kowalsky:


Lol shut up.

If they have tears, allow them cry.
You're always quick to denigrate men, whether it's for their emotions/pain or their problems with women.

Begs the question, what's your issue. You're extending your emotional manipulation from your matrimonial home onto Nairaland?

You're darn right about Cococandy. Been watching her since I signed up in 2009, and I dare say, even though she's married, that lady is a man-hater.

DaddyGngeess:




I will not like to talk much about this issue, when you find a good woman you will understand, I have been with my wife since 2006.

Oga relax.
We all know it's not all Rossy. That's how the OP was deceived into it and when he turned to same people for advice, they say that's her all women are.

Many married people will smile and tell you the sweet part of marriage so that you can get into it and suffer what they do.

Marriage is NOT for everybody, don't try to sweet talk it

ukaface:
so the man won't benefit sex, comfort, status, children.
And why do y'all keep saying women have little or no responsibilities? Where do you people meet this kinda women? What do you guys talk about while dating?sex?

Do you guys go into marriage without talking about how to deal with finances? And then you expect her to shoulder responsibilities?
You guys have no right to complain sef, shebi Una dey claim head of house, who else is supposed to provide the family with security? Men of course. Children that you mentioned, ain't they also the for the man? Both men and women benefit from marriage, make Una no dey blow things out of proportion. Do the necessary thing during dating .
Most men, and women too jump into marriage without knowing anything about marriage, no developed mindset as regards marriage and parenting and when it becomes burdensome they start complaining to every other person. Marriage can never be a bed of roses, and one thing men and women should stop feeling they own the other spouse, you can't own a person.

Head of house that is abused or sometimes deposed of his status? I have no pity for men who allow their wives to control their homes when they're there shouldering expenses. A man will feed, clothe, house, fund a women till eternity without making noise and will still endure abuse but the moment a wife pays a bill then even the creatures in the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean will hear her voice. Be using words like "I deserve to be taken care of" "I deserve to be pampered" "i deserve to be treated like a woman" yet with all her artificial nails and whatever will refuse to do her responsibilities with flimsy excuses, wh0re around and at the end of the day allow the innocent man father a child or children of another man or men. Look at Will Smith for example.

DryMouth:

@bolded.

You are either a woman or a frustrated liar. How dare you say a married man is likely to mert his financial goal faster than a single man.

You shuld better shut up if you've got nothing to say

Don't mind the fool. Save your breath please.