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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... (8174 Views)
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Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Maverick777: 5:06pm On May 24, 2022 |
I'd make this as brief as possible.. This is my debut post here on NL. I'm in my early 30's, currently work in the oil and gas sector and I'd say I'm an 8.5/10 guy in all ramifications. Now to the issue, I met this lady sometime last year(JUNE) at a popular fast food here in delta, she was (and still is) the manager of the place. One of the cashiers was being rude to me, she intervened and I must say, I was immediately lovestruck! She's really not the, sweep-you-off-your-feet kinda girl, but she seemed pretty smart (I'm extremely Sapiosexual). Long story short, I gave her my card, she called, visited severally and after like 6months we got intimate and all.... Before all these, she already told me that she has a 4-year old daughter, which he had for a guy when she was still schooling, but later found out the guy had a family and she cut ties. She had the baby and he knows but she told him to stay away! And since then till now, there has been no communication whatsoever between them. My dilemma is, I like her enough to wife her, taking in the kid is not an issue(I adore female kids) and they(MUM and DAUGHTER) both love me to bits, adore me and all. Overall I would say she's a 6.5/10 Lady. Yesterday she suggested that why don't I adopt the kid legally, as I already changed her surname to mine, because I wanted to open accounts for her(THE KID), she said she had a dream that her baby daddy came to make amends, request for his daughter and serious issue broke out bla bla bla.... Now, I know ladies would always twist the narrative to suit themselves and all, and my gut feeling tells me there's more to that separation than she's telling! I want to hear some expert advise concerning this before I take the next step, to be honest I'm a novice in this area(never had anything to do with a single mum before now). Do I go ahead to adopt the kid legally?? Sensible inputs would be well appreciated. I'd be glad if this hits Front Page CC: SEUN LALASTICLALA MYND44 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Hashabiah: 5:08pm On May 24, 2022 |
My brother, just take the chance and talk this over with the girl's mother and if possible, tell her to be honest with you on this whole issue. Because at the end of the day, the girl's mother still has the final say . ![]() 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Nobody: 5:18pm On May 24, 2022 |
run oooo d werey go manipulate you till den finish your papa,no worry e go soon clear for ya mama eye!!!!! 35 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Creamypie(m): 5:20pm On May 24, 2022 |
While its good to love,,, yes love all, but love objectively, not subjectively or with emotions. Think in between the lines and relax well while making decisions. U cant adopt a child legally without consent of both parents, if they are living Na 0:0 match dey take start, e get why. My son can't marry a single mother, forget all the explanation. No baby mama even wants her son to marry baby mama. U see d irony? . thank you. 38 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Tokskob2008: 5:20pm On May 24, 2022 |
Why not go ahead with the love game and forget about adoption for now, the little girl isn't going anywhere for now so why the rush for adoption besides you are yet to marry the mum so I ask again why the rush to adopt ![]() Whatever you have done, doing or still plan to do doesn't have to stop since you claim you love them both. You can always adopt anytime.. 16 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Belafonte(m): 5:21pm On May 24, 2022 |
Marrying a single mother is like arriving at a party after everyone has left and cleaning up the mess they left behind 30 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by gaby(m): 5:23pm On May 24, 2022 |
Maverick777: As much as I would have loved to see you take in the lil girl as yours by adoption or whatever means which is something I would also have done without a second thought, I'd advise you and everyone else reading this to be very in tune with your intuitions and gut feelings. Your instincts and gut feelings are for the most part always right and will never less you wrong. If it smells like poopoo by reason of your intuition telling you so, by all means believe it. It definitely can not be burger but a fat ass poopoo. Most of the time when you fail to listen to your inner man and things end up going the way of how your instinct was speaking to you, you'll end up saying "but my mind tell me oh". Be wise... 19 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Belafonte(m): 5:28pm On May 24, 2022 |
Marrying a single mother is like going to jail for a crime you never committed 37 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Ballzproblemm: 5:29pm On May 24, 2022 |
Maverick777:run bro is a trap, she don dey use small small they dump responsibility on your head ,why the first baby daddy no open account for the pikin , avoid single moms! don't be a simp 11 Likes |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by gaby(m): 5:29pm On May 24, 2022 |
Belafonte: One could still marry a Barren and experience it like going to jail for a crime you never committed. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Animegirl(f): 5:30pm On May 24, 2022 |
![]() First, we ladies except your flaws, having different kids from another woman but rain insults on single mothers forgetting they were heroines in their previous relationship. Dear Op; you're a confuse man. You already changed the kid name to your surname because you want to open an account. Tell me Op what is the difference btw adoption and changing the kid's surname to yours? For you to open an account for the kid means you love her(kid). The mother gave you a better option at least, all your spending on the child won't be in vain. You get to train the girl as yours and not another man's child. Men are confuse, gezz. 5 Likes |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by gaby(m): 5:32pm On May 24, 2022 |
Belafonte: Marrying a virgin could end up coming off worse than you alluded to, above. There's no "one size fits all" in these matters. It always depends on the individuals involved. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Ekejoestar(m): 5:39pm On May 24, 2022 |
Follow your heart but take your brain along 5 Likes |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by drnoel: 6:02pm On May 24, 2022 |
Hashabiah: Best answer here above I mean what is the reason to beat yourself when U can sit down with her and talk things thru. Yes, women have a tendency to alter narrative to suit themselves but once you start hearing the truth from your woman, you would know. Table the issue, talk it thru and thru till your mind is settled on the issue. Don't stop asking her questions about it till it's settled in your mind. 3 Likes |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by VenumX: 6:08pm On May 24, 2022 |
Do whatever you like. Las las, you go end up with person wey don abort 7 times codedly. 1 Like |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by JoyousFurnitire(m): 6:15pm On May 24, 2022 |
1 Like |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Nobody: 6:17pm On May 24, 2022 |
Can you explain what you just put up there @Op? 1 Like |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by 40fy: 7:19pm On May 24, 2022 |
Seems she's a good woman; go ahead and grab her by the pûssy!! 6 Likes |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Bluezy13(m): 7:27pm On May 24, 2022 |
Among other things, I have just one question to ask; How would you adopt a child without the consent and awareness of his biological father ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by mrdharkchild(m): 8:10pm On May 24, 2022 |
Make no mistake man. Find you another pussy cat pet. Good single girls are out there for u. Not every animal that act nice deserves to be in companionship with u. 2 Likes |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by OscarJaden(m): 8:24pm On May 24, 2022 |
Ballzproblemm:oga no be everything be simp He was the one that suggested not the mother of the girl |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Nobody: 8:32pm On May 24, 2022 |
How can you adopt a child without the knowledge and consent of his father? ![]() And for her to suggest this speaks volumes of her personality ![]() I will never marry a single mother, and I wouldn't advice you to either, but since your mind is already made up, I would advise that you have a talk with the biological father of the child, gain more info as to why they separated ![]() Her own narrative will most likely be a biased one, seeing that she has more to gain ![]() Know what you're getting yourself into OP... I wish you good luck chief... 16 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Nobody: 8:48pm On May 24, 2022 |
Belafonte:End time child |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Nobody: 8:50pm On May 24, 2022 |
Maverick777, try and find out the real reason the baby daddy left before proceeding with marriage or adoption. I m a woman that ll preach accountability. You deserve to know every truth. And to anyone who come here to bash women. God ll bash you too, amen! 5 Likes |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Nobody: 9:30pm On May 24, 2022 |
People are stupid, that's all I can say! I knw we all make mistakes when we don't want to, but damn certain mistakes are clearly avoidable but people no just get sense ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by GeneralPula: 9:36pm On May 24, 2022 |
Before all these, she already told me that she has a 4-year old daughter, which he had for a guy when she was still schooling, but later found out the guy had a family and she cut ties. In future’s voice... * Now if they don’t have a story, they’ll make one* She wan carry you over 1.5 and if you fall for it, you’ll regret it until the end of time.. You talk say you get better job? Instead make you go for going fresh young blood, nah one extra tyre you wan struck with... Well, star player no go shine if otu no dey.. Wise people no go shine if dullards no dey.. Nah life design ham like that.. 4 Likes |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Uniquetani1(f): 9:47pm On May 24, 2022 |
Having a child is not a disease. Changing the child's name to yours, is very fast abi you be kidnapper? Just acknowledged the fact that she had a child and be good to her. The child's father will always come back, unless he is dead. 1 Like |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by ImaIma1(f): 10:05pm On May 24, 2022 |
Please investigate first before you dive in fully. Get information from other people aside her mum/family. If you dig, you will find out the true situation and decide if you should still go ahead. |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by milliondollas(m): 10:11pm On May 24, 2022 |
I PITY YOUR LIFE DO YOU HAVE A FAMILY ? WE HAVE SO MANY FOOLISH MEN LIKE YOU 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by favour32(m): 10:22pm On May 24, 2022 |
My own be say... how you want take arrange another man pikin wey e papa dey around and without consent. Don go for left over abi woman na your mate? 1 Like |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by oilmane(m): 10:24pm On May 24, 2022 |
Maverick777: Bro you can wife the lady, take in the child and treat her like yours but don't change her name, don't adopt her cause her father is alive and will surely come for his kid one day, what will you tell the girl made you change her name when he does? Avoid unnecessary stress 3 Likes |
Re: Do I Go For This Lady Who Already Has A Kid? Your Thoughts... by Edyice: 10:29pm On May 24, 2022 |
1 Like |
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