A woman can not train a male child

Are you an oppressive mother?are you always on social media?are you promisious?are you an insultive mother? Are you a power toxic person? Are you the type that curse ur kids? Are you the type that claims superiority? Are you the know all mother?Are you a moody mother.please check yourself,check where you went all wrong,check how you have treated this boys without apology,check what they have caught you doing.consider that this guy's hustle to maintain their self.its the little care and love he couldn't get from you that's making him spend on a little girl.be careful what next you do else you might loose them forever.wisdom is not power,not by age.send me your number for more counseling.but u Bleep up that I know

Strength to Every Woman trynna raise a Man alone, Strength!! My Sister, Strength!!!

Didn't Thier late father have any relatives like a uncle or aunt they can talk to, my sister died too leaving an 18 year old girl for the husband to raise,the man is very soft so I chip in from time to time and monitor her very strictly to make sure she doesn't go astray,now she's turned out a very nice girl coming to Join Us in the US by end of the year.
My point is , always involve close relatives in cases like yours,I doubt your sons would behave like a brat with uncles around to smack the living day outta them

Anobody:
I'm a single mother of two teenage sons, lost my husband 10 years ago and have been struggling to cater for them singlehandedly. My first son is 19 and the last 17 years but I'm getting fed up with the disrespect and regret not taking them to the village so I could remarry.

They both left secondary school and working to save up for school and I don't ask them for a dime. My last son suddenly started behaving like a tout, pierced both ears and turning his hair to dread, takes my stuff without my permission and even to extent of holding my hands when I get furious to beat him.

My first son is dating a girl and spends all his money on her to the extend of asking me for transport fare sometimes. Sometimes they come home by 10 or 11pm and are ready to fight me if I get furious to discipline them.

What broke the camel's back was that my last son went to a friend's bday party overnight without telling me, my first son said he called to tell him he won't return and NONE OF THEM TOLD ME under my roof.

I've tried talking calmly, denying certain privilege and discipline but it keeps getting worse, my last option is to take them back to their father's village before I die of hbp.

I'm depressed nairalanders�, please I seek matured advice, thanks.

Please help me push to front page

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Your case is an easy one

I've seen teenage beasts change and become angels.

What's happening to ur kids can't be termed 'puberty' because they r 17 and 19 years already.

Rather , its called 'peer pressure'.

Men misbehave when they start getting s*x for d first time. Its normal if ur son gives all his money to his girlfriend in order for her to let him into her honey pot.

First...

NEVER make d mistake of trying to beat a 19 year old boy again. Its wrong.

dog owners are always being warned by experts to avoid beating their dogs, not to talk of humans.

The reason why ur kids are misbehaving is not far from where u live.

RELOCATE...!!!

once u do , his bad friends, night clubs, etc won't be easily reachable again.

If any of them refuses to join u, allow that person to rent his own house and live like a man without ur interference.
There's nothing u can do about it.

you've already messed up in parenting cos whatever u r seeing today didnt start today.
You should have noticed and stopped them Years ago.

Now listen carefully...

This is d most important step.


After relocating, look for one Christ embassy or a similar church and enroll them.

Once there name enters d 'new comers' list, those church guys can do follow up.


At 16 years ,one of my female relative was already prostituting and had her first abortion.
We weren't surprised because her mum had her own at 13 years and even as an adult, she's still prostituting.

Christ embassy followed her up and changed her life

She's now an usher. She goes to church by 6:30a.m to drop a paper where other church workers will write their name + time they came to church.

Another was a well-known rascal like ur kids as at 18 years.
Right now, he's a pastor at Christ embassy.
They changed him. You dare not misbehave around him.

Before u judge me, I am not a member of Christ embassy neither am I running adverts for them. I speak 100% truth from my personal experience.

Living word church also does that kind of follow up.


Finally, keep them busy.

Register them to learn skills.

A man that works daily would have little or no time for himself.

Not to even talk about time for partying , women, drugs, etc.


At this point, I'd ask one question to those reading this lengthy post...

Must u wait till u make writing mistakes u get grammarly premium?

Grammarly Premium detects and corrects all grammatical errors in ur works.

Then upgrades it to internationally accepted writing standards.

Don't tell me u don't know that I sell Grammarly premium, Quillbot, Canva pro, Turnitin, vpn ,premium courses and files ,etc at cheap prices.

My contact has always been In my nairaland profile, so there's no need re-iterating on that again.


Pls, go and get ur PVC

God bless BUHARI
God bless Peter Obi
God bless Nigeria

God help me

Father figure missing, they urgently need that or they will get worse

Anobody:
I'm a single mother of two teenage sons, lost my husband 10 years ago and have been struggling to cater for them singlehandedly. My first son is 19 and the last 17 years but I'm getting fed up with the disrespect and regret not taking them to the village so I could remarry.

They both left secondary school and working to save up for school and I don't ask them for a dime. My last son suddenly started behaving like a tout, pierced both ears and turning his hair to dread, takes my stuff without my permission and even to extent of holding my hands when I get furious to beat him.

My first son is dating a girl and spends all his money on her to the extend of asking me for transport fare sometimes. Sometimes they come home by 10 or 11pm and are ready to fight me if I get furious to discipline them.

What broke the camel's back was that my last son went to a friend's bday party overnight without telling me, my first son said he called to tell him he won't return and NONE OF THEM TOLD ME under my roof.

I've tried talking calmly, denying certain privilege and discipline but it keeps getting worse, my last option is to take them back to their father's village before I die of hbp.

I'm depressed nairalanders�, please I seek matured advice, thanks.

Please help me push to front page

Nothing prayer No fit do

E be many things

Spare the rod and spoil the child

This is the future and result of single mothers. Like it's always been said a woman can't raise kids on her own. They never turn out right. Babe you should have remarried. Whatever freedom you wanted out if being free and not under any man. Well this is the result. It's too late to change them the damage has been donem don't worry they will soon start slapping you sef..

Pay me let me Beat the fear of Jesus into them for you

This is that stage when teenagers get rebellious,
You just need to be understanding and firm.
May the Lord help you.

you failed to handle and check mate him when he was showing signs of all this misbehavior..........you need to act fast or you will be the one to suffer it...ask the brother to talk to him one on one and then pray to God to change him..

You spoilt them and this is the consequence.

Sadly, there are very many guys who dress like this in our day and it's called normal. Guys with piercings, locked hairs, tattoo or anything to copy the western culture.

Maybe you lost it from allowing them to suffer for their needs. Now, they feel they are alone in the world and are men.

Parents need to train a child not allowing them train themselves because the day you sell your responsibility to them, you sell your full responsibility.

money121:

Nothing prayer No fit do

Prayer can not cover the hole in the ears made by earrings.

Anobody:
I'm a single mother of two teenage sons, lost my husband 10 years ago and have been struggling to cater for them singlehandedly. My first son is 19 and the last 17 years but I'm getting fed up with the disrespect and regret not taking them to the village so I could remarry.

They both left secondary school and working to save up for school and I don't ask them for a dime. My last son suddenly started behaving like a tout, pierced both ears and turning his hair to dread, takes my stuff without my permission and even to extent of holding my hands when I get furious to beat him.

My first son is dating a girl and spends all his money on her to the extend of asking me for transport fare sometimes. Sometimes they come home by 10 or 11pm and are ready to fight me if I get furious to discipline them.

What broke the camel's back was that my last son went to a friend's bday party overnight without telling me, my first son said he called to tell him he won't return and NONE OF THEM TOLD ME under my roof.

I've tried talking calmly, denying certain privilege and discipline but it keeps getting worse, my last option is to take them back to their father's village before I die of hbp.

I'm depressed nairalanders�, please I seek matured advice, thanks.

Please help me push to front page

he lacks a role model and a father ,you should have gotten married earlier, ghats the horrors of a single mother we always preach on nairaland , luckily he's not female , you for smell hot iron , get him out of there he's having a negative contact with street kids , find him a man who would teach him money science and how to build wealth, he should start as an apprentice to a business man and then further his education, he will be just great, he dosent know what to do with his energy thats all

AllBlack:


You left them to grow wild and free, now you want to bend them when they have grown thorns all over? Ear rings and dreads. What next? Cult codes and drugs? Crime & pregnancy? Regular Gambling? You failed to read the signs early enough. The help you seek now is what you should have done 10 years ago. There is no way both of them could have turned out this way without all your little little silent approvals of their little harmless sins.

Is there no male figure from your side of the family you can talk to? Because for you to bring this matter to NL means you have burnt your bridge with their father's people.
Where is your pastor? Or someone they can respect because from your narration, they have learnt to cover for each other and are now forming their own counrty, soon to overthrow you.

Take them back to the village at this age? After they have blended with the streets this far? Good luck with that.

what was she looking at in their formative years around 7-15,they have grown now n it’s already a part of their life

The only thing that can change them is if they encounter God or life humbles them or get their fingers burnt outside

Anobody:
I'm a single mother of two teenage sons, lost my husband 10 years ago and have been struggling to cater for them singlehandedly. My first son is 19 and the last 17 years but I'm getting fed up with the disrespect and regret not taking them to the village so I could remarry.

They both left secondary school and working to save up for school and I don't ask them for a dime. My last son suddenly started behaving like a tout, pierced both ears and turning his hair to dread, takes my stuff without my permission and even to extent of holding my hands when I get furious to beat him.

My first son is dating a girl and spends all his money on her to the extend of asking me for transport fare sometimes. Sometimes they come home by 10 or 11pm and are ready to fight me if I get furious to discipline them.

What broke the camel's back was that my last son went to a friend's bday party overnight without telling me, my first son said he called to tell him he won't return and NONE OF THEM TOLD ME under my roof.

I've tried talking calmly, denying certain privilege and discipline but it keeps getting worse, my last option is to take them back to their father's village before I die of hbp.

I'm depressed nairalanders�, please I seek matured advice, thanks.

Please help me push to front page

Hi. Good morning. Can we private chat?

Talk to God about them.

Please take them to the military school, if possible Nigeria military depot, they are highly needed. They are good materials for the sector.
My elder sister has one little brat here too, when I talk to the boy as an uncle she will pick offense. Right now if she beats the boy, he makes sure he return his own back. Seriously I don't know how women thinks.
A Male Child is not same as their female counterpart, they need strong voice to bark at them when they go wrong. Most times its not by beating them. But that ironic voice that threatens.

Don't you have a soldier relative yiu can call on their behalf??

Someone did it in my area, and now his son is straight and narrow....

Send them to another country.

Anobody:
I'm a single mother of two teenage sons, lost my husband 10 years ago and have been struggling to cater for them singlehandedly. My first son is 19 and the last 17 years but I'm getting fed up with the disrespect and regret not taking them to the village so I could remarry.

They both left secondary school and working to save up for school and I don't ask them for a dime. My last son suddenly started behaving like a tout, pierced both ears and turning his hair to dread, takes my stuff without my permission and even to extent of holding my hands when I get furious to beat him.

My first son is dating a girl and spends all his money on her to the extend of asking me for transport fare sometimes. Sometimes they come home by 10 or 11pm and are ready to fight me if I get furious to discipline them.

What broke the camel's back was that my last son went to a friend's bday party overnight without telling me, my first son said he called to tell him he won't return and NONE OF THEM TOLD ME under my roof.

I've tried talking calmly, denying certain privilege and discipline but it keeps getting worse, my last option is to take them back to their father's village before I die of hbp.

I'm depressed nairalanders�, please I seek matured advice, thanks.

Please help me push to front page

First step is to ask them to contribute to the rent and/or other expenses.
Best of luck in resolving this complex situation.

Anobody:
I'm a single mother of two teenage sons, lost my husband 10 years ago and have been struggling to cater for them singlehandedly. My first son is 19 and the last 17 years but I'm getting fed up with the disrespect and regret not taking them to the village so I could remarry.

They both left secondary school and working to save up for school and I don't ask them for a dime. My last son suddenly started behaving like a tout, pierced both ears and turning his hair to dread, takes my stuff without my permission and even to extent of holding my hands when I get furious to beat him.

My first son is dating a girl and spends all his money on her to the extend of asking me for transport fare sometimes. Sometimes they come home by 10 or 11pm and are ready to fight me if I get furious to discipline them.

What broke the camel's back was that my last son went to a friend's bday party overnight without telling me, my first son said he called to tell him he won't return and NONE OF THEM TOLD ME under my roof.

I've tried talking calmly, denying certain privilege and discipline but it keeps getting worse, my last option is to take them back to their father's village before I die of hbp.

I'm depressed nairalanders�, please I seek matured advice, thanks.

Please help me push to front page

Adolescent phase is really a tough time for any parent and is more demanding for a single parent like you, pls don’t take irrational actions they might hold on to till the end of time. Things would fall in place just continue to urge and discipline with love. Ire ooo

Anobody:
I'm a single mother of two teenage sons, lost my husband 10 years ago and have been struggling to cater for them singlehandedly. My first son is 19 and the last 17 years but I'm getting fed up with the disrespect and regret not taking them to the village so I could remarry.

They both left secondary school and working to save up for school and I don't ask them for a dime. My last son suddenly started behaving like a tout, pierced both ears and turning his hair to dread, takes my stuff without my permission and even to extent of holding my hands when I get furious to beat him.

My first son is dating a girl and spends all his money on her to the extend of asking me for transport fare sometimes. Sometimes they come home by 10 or 11pm and are ready to fight me if I get furious to discipline them.

What broke the camel's back was that my last son went to a friend's bday party overnight without telling me, my first son said he called to tell him he won't return and NONE OF THEM TOLD ME under my roof.

I've tried talking calmly, denying certain privilege and discipline but it keeps getting worse, my last option is to take them back to their father's village before I die of hbp.

I'm depressed nairalanders�, please I seek matured advice, thanks.

Please help me push to front page

now you see the reason for the early stage of proper amendment. Your case Is surely related to sparing the rod and now finally the child is spoilt. He wouldn't have tried such if he knew his mother was strict and would embarras him anywhere she sees him dressed like that.

Anobody:
I'm a single mother of two teenage sons, lost my husband 10 years ago and have been struggling to cater for them singlehandedly. My first son is 19 and the last 17 years but I'm getting fed up with the disrespect and regret not taking them to the village so I could remarry.

They both left secondary school and working to save up for school and I don't ask them for a dime. My last son suddenly started behaving like a tout, pierced both ears and turning his hair to dread, takes my stuff without my permission and even to extent of holding my hands when I get furious to beat him.

My first son is dating a girl and spends all his money on her to the extend of asking me for transport fare sometimes. Sometimes they come home by 10 or 11pm and are ready to fight me if I get furious to discipline them.

What broke the camel's back was that my last son went to a friend's bday party overnight without telling me, my first son said he called to tell him he won't return and NONE OF THEM TOLD ME under my roof.

I've tried talking calmly, denying certain privilege and discipline but it keeps getting worse, my last option is to take them back to their father's village before I die of hbp.

I'm depressed nairalanders�, please I seek matured advice, thanks.

Please help me push to front page

A woman can never train a male child it's impossible especially the stubborn ones they need men to handle them , send them to their uncle's or any male relative to instir discipline in them

Bluntguy:
Since they have started forming men for you. It means they can cater for themselves at this stage. If you die now (God forbid) they will move on. So take them to their father's people and take care of yourself. Life no get duplicate.

They would come back. Let her just quietly leave the house for them and never let them know where she is.

First of all, well done Ma, for raising them single handedly in the last 10 years, it must not have been easy raising two boys all on your own.

The truth is that boys will be boys. And they are now at the age where they begin to feel like big boys who can do their own thing. You first have to accept that this is normal.

They are evolving and they probably don’t think you can help answer their questions cos you are a Woman.

In the meantime, check out these tips from
Secureteens.com

“ You may have successfully raised your child into becoming an adult but when your son becomes a teenager, the process becomes a bit difficult. Since your son is getting out of his adolescent years, he will now be experiencing hormonal changes and undergo feelings which you, as a single mother, would not be able to understand or relate to.

Having said that, this surely does not discourage you from raising your son in a better way and making him into a wonderful adult on your own. We have listed down some tips for all the single mothers on raising their teenage sons. Let’s go through them one by one.

Do Not Keep Checking on Them

It’s true that your son has become a teenager now but he is still the same child for you. It is important to understand that he has grown up and wants to live a life of his own. He would want to go and hang out with his friends, meaning he could turn up late at home. Therefore, it is better to set some clear boundaries with him and ask him when he’s going to return home so that you do not have to continuously bug him with calls or text messages. Keeping a constant check on them can irritate them.

Do Not Talk Negative About His Father

You may have separated or divorced from your husband but remember he is still a father to your children. They may still have feelings for their father or would also meet him often. Therefore, you should never talk negatively about their father in front of them. It is quite possible that they make ask questions about their father but you should never neglect them – rather answer them confidently.

Make Them Do Their Own Things

Let your son develop the habit of doing their own things. Make sure he learns to finish his own errands rather than depending on you or his other siblings. He should have a sense of responsibility and develop his manly skills. They should learn to do household repairs so that you do not have to worry about it.

Plan Fun Activities For them

You should take care of the activities your sons enjoy the most. Remember, boys love doing fun and crazy activities whether they’re five or thirty-five years old. You should add some physical activities into your schedule; you can have excursions to the water parks or amusement parks. Play sports with them – start playing badminton, basketball, baseball, or any other game your boys love playing in their past time.

Give Them Freedom

Kids love when they have freedom in their lives without much interference from their parents. They love doing their own things and making decisions on their own. As a single mother, you should also give them the right to make their own decisions. Trust their instincts to see how well you’ve matured them. When they’ll experience everything on their own, only then they’ll be able to differentiate between right and wrong. “

Also, you might want to get a male figure who is into something they like, eg Music or sports to act as a mentor to them and help them divert and channel all of that teenage energy.

Best of luck.