Please I need your opinion on this issue.

Though before I got married I discovered my mother inlaw calls all her daughters both married and unmarried everyday (only 3 ladies no boys) and they fear her to the bone.

At times every morning and night just to talk to them but I believe when they get married they need privacy and respect but this is not the case for my mother-in-law and I detest such act.

Mind you I'm not against call or trying to break the bond but I believe this is marriage. I'm looking for a way to stop all that

I'm I wrong or right to take that step ?

OP, I'll advice that you nip this thing in the bud before it becomes something else . And the best way of doing that is to have to a serious discussion with your wife and let her understand your fears and worries over this issue.

Because the way I see it , if your mother-in-law has that sort of authority over your wife, then she'll definitely have greater authority over how your home will be run in future .

She is simply checking up on her daughter to know if your a responsible man enough for her .

She might just be lonely and loves to hear and converse with her children everyday ...

When she calls your wife and you are there do they discuss about you

As the mother ever accused you of maltreating her daughter....

Uncle mind your lane...

Beginning of the end...

At the long run her calls will do you bad,unless you take serious action now.

It's a normal thing Oga. I called my sister 3 to 5 times daily. That's how we roll.

Jashub:
OP, I'll advice that you nip this thing in the bud before it becomes something else , and the best way to do that is to have to a serious discuss with your wife and let her understand your fears and worries over this issue. Because if your mother-in-law has that sort of authority over your wife then she'll definitely have greater authority over how your home will be run in the future .

infact that's what I'm doing now and have said I will take it up when the time comes

Totilopussylick:
She is simply checking up on her daughter to know if your a responsible man enough for her .

this is not about responsibility..if you know me hmmmm just that the mother-in-law is just like that

duduade:
She might just be lonely and loves to hear and converse with her children everyday ...

When she calls your wife and you are there do they discuss about you

As the mother ever accused you of maltreating her daughter....

Uncle mind your lane...

she is lonely though cos the husband no dey with her ... Not her fault but the man though so I thought that's why she is always calling and that's why I'm still observing

olasaad:
It's a normal thing Oga. I called my sister 3 to 5 times daily. That's how we roll.

they are not married I guess

Mide70:
this is not about responsibility..if you know me hmmmm just that the mother-in-law is just like that

If you know her to be like that, why bothered


I have a girlfriend, she lives with her elder brother.

And whenever she pays me a visit, her phone begins to rings frequently to an extent I begin to suspect her of cheating, not until I found out it was her brother that calls her all the time and I got used to it.

Mide70:
they are not married I guess

She's married

Me wey my malee dey call everyday nko?No be only me,na all her children(7) she dey call daily.Just to check up on us and our families.

Does your wife complain about it?
Does she tell her mum everything that goes on in the house?
Has your MIL in any way cause friction between you and your wife? If your answers to all is No, then don't go and look for trouble that doesn't exist.

Please leave it alone.

OP there is nothing wrong with that, what u should be concerned about is the kind of conversation.... If she's just checking on her daughters, then there is nothing wrong with dat.

My late mum called me every morning too just to know how I was doing, it's normal...... My my mother in-law calls my husband every morning, infact they call themselves every morning just to say good morning and how was ur night...

Are we your wife?
Are we your mother-in-law?
Are we your family head?
Are we God?

Why are you consulting strangers on an issue that is meant to be within the confines of your house?

Why are you asking US what do do about YOUR marriage?

Have you spoken to your wife?
Has she spoken to her mother?

What should we do?

With all due respect, sir, don't air your dirty laundry in public. Respect the sanctity of your marriage and keep it off social media.


PS: Many people who'll give you absurd advice aren't married.

PPS: You'll bear the consequences of your actions. The online mob will merely sympathise with you. Be careful.

Same here. It's normal to me

Mide70:
Mind you I'm not against call or trying to break the bond but I believe this is marriage. I'm looking for a way to stop all that . I'm I wrong or right to take that step ?

You don't want her mother to call to check up on her anymore because she is now married to you?

My mum's typical attitude. I had to emphatic to reduce her incessant calls.
OP, I advise you just over look, so long it is no threat to your marriage.

Kobojunkie:
You don't want her mother to call to check up on her anymore because she is now married to you?

calling her morning and evening of everyday? Don't you people know the meaning of marriage ?

Mide70:
calling her morning and evening of everyday? Don't you people know the meaning of marriage ?

Marriage is in no way meant to stop people from calling each other as many times as they want each day. So find something else to pin your issues on.

Rubbish thread. So because you don't have a closely knitted family that looks after each other by constant calling doesnt take the fact that other families do. Op so you prefer her ex to be doing the calling shei........

Mide70:
calling her morning and evening of everyday? Don't you people know the meaning of marriage ?

What is the meaning of marriage?

Eyah OP, I have been married for some years I speak with my mum practically everyday.

She shouldn't communicate with her parent because she's married? Are they talking about you or the marriage or what exactly seems to be the problem.

It is no issue.

Tell your wife to tell her mum to be calling you everyday too.
You are her son too.

Father Lord, please give my MIL more energy to continue calling my wife.

That she calls everyday is not a problem provided they're not discussing anything that affects you negatively and if she's not denying you attention. You said this was the case before you married her. Shouldn't that make it obvious it's not about you but about them? If it was a deal breaker for you, why didn't mention it before marriage? Now you're married to her and you want to break her bond with her own mother. Did it not occur to you that since she doesn't have a son, she'd probably end up depending on those calls for companionship?

Nothing wrong here, my Mum calls almost everyday just to check up on us. I have been married for over a decade. My family is a close knitted family unlike my Husband's family, they can go weeks without calling each other that sometimes I would even be the one reminding him to call his siblings as their parents are no more.

Mide70:
calling her morning and evening of everyday? Don't you people know the meaning of marriage ?

Tell us, what is the meaning of marriage? Discarding everyone else in your life? Would you prefer she chats more with her friends? Or do you think that you alone would be sufficient for her social needs as a human being?

Men tend to keep their legion of friends and hang out with them even after marriage. The society makes women to stay away from some of her single friends and virtually anything male after marriage. Even the few friends she's got left, she wouldn't be seeing them as often as she used to cause she's expected to be "homely". The result is that they end up depending on only their husband's to fill thier social needs till she has kids or make friends with the wives of her husband's friends. However, the reality is that the husband cannot completely fill up that social gap. That's why we say women talk to much or always have boring stories we're forced to listen to and that they love excess attention and would nag if they don't get it.

There's nothing wrong with your wife talking with her mum. When she has kids, it'll probably reduce cause she'll have more people to interact with.

Mide70:
Please I need your opinion on this issue.
Though before I got married I discovered my mother inlaw calls all her daughters both married and unmarried everyday(only 3 ladies no boys) and they fear her to the bone. at times every morning and night just to talk to them but I believe when they get married they need privacy and respect but this is not the case for my mother-in-law and I detest such act
Mind you I'm not against call or trying to break the bond but I believe this is marriage. I'm looking for a way to stop all that . I'm I wrong or right to take that step ?

Na wa o. Why do you people go into marriage when you are not ready or mature enough for it? Now you will take up the issue, things might excalate and go sour.

In marriage there will always be things you won't like about your partner. But If these things are not critical or threatening your peace and existence why not overlook it? Or you don't know marriage is about sacrifices?

You have identified that you don't like the frequent communication between your wife and her mum which probably has been the way they have related for a very long time. But have you also identified how this is a threat to your wellbeing and affairs? Is it critical? Is she teaching your wife wrong doings? Or it only just hurts your ego that your wife is sharing her time with someone else daily (her mum!)
What exactly is the problem here?

Baba if you cannot overlook some things and be sacrificial yourself, you are not mature enough to venture into marriage. This is not the medieval times when our fathers controlled 100% the affairs of our mothers.

So because she married you, her own parents cease of exist? Just tell her not to discuss your marriage business with anybody outside the two of you. Shikena. Let her talk to her mother all she wants.

etrange:


Tell us, what is the meaning of marriage? Discarding everyone else in your life? Would you prefer she chats more with her friends? Or do you think that you alone would be sufficient for her social needs as a human being?

Men tend to keep their legion of friends and hang out with them even after marriage. The society makes women to stay away from some of her single friends and virtually anything male after marriage. Even the few friends she's got left, she wouldn't be seeing them as often as she used to cause she's expected to be "homely". The result is that they end up depending on only their husband's till fill thier social needs till she has a kids or make friends with the wives of her husband's friends. However, the reality is that the husband cannot completely fill up that social gap. That's why we say women talk to much or always have boring stories we're forced to listen to and that they love excess attention and would nag if they don't get it.

There's nothing wrong with your wife talking with her mum. When she has kids, it'll probably reduce cause she'll have more people to interact with.

Well captured.