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Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Why Is It Difficult To Date Female Medics / She Cheated With Her 'Cousin'. I'm Finding It Hard To Forgive Her / I'm finding it difficult to adapt to the Lifestyle Of My Husband To Be. (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by Nobody: 2:00am On Jul 15, 2022
NeckingNgulping:


The marital clock being against you here means that: men who are the source of your benefits are scarce. They're like a gold dust, the oasis in the desert, a highly valued creatures. Hence, the reason why y'all women scramble around them for marriage.

As it is now, a woman's chances of getting a man are higher at a younger age, not after she has finished whoring around.

Life has made men to bear the burdens of marriages, and we are trying to change the narrative. Y'all women should enjoy while it lasts.



Oga if you no wan marry nobody hold you.

Which one is life has, life has. If marriage no benefit you, no do am! undecided

4 Likes

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by begoniaa: 2:18am On Jul 15, 2022
Persephone1:
begoniaa if I miss out anything in my response to The boyMessiah. Kindly help to add .

Let's help a brother who is willing to learn cheesy

kiss kiss Well done.

Be like that one dey ready to learn... grin

Ermm, Messiah Olugbala, Sir T, Persi has said quite a whole lot and I wouldn't want to "overflog" it again... just three things I'll add...

- Don't be obsessed about being a person of value to anyone...actually. As you can see from the mental plagues of our resident NL alfa mails, in trying to be high value, they end up being shitty to everyone, and they are always gulping rules here and there... that's one of the fastest ways to running one's life off track... following rules stipulated by different people here and there... do this, don't do that. This is what you should say to her, this is what you should not say to her...

So, be a person of value by not trying to be a person of value to a lady... completely let go of the idea that you have to be some way for a person... I am not saying it is a bad thing, but that is simply a secondary result/goal.

The point is to be yourself for YOURSELF. For your own betterment, happiness, joy, growth... and that is when you'll see that you'll find yourself attracting the best of people.

- Pay attention to who you listen to and what you always take in... your mentality and outlook on life is priceless and you should protect it as if it is a WHITE GLASS- can easily get tainted, can easily get broken.

- Read self-development and wealth books... smiley This one is my favorite. You have a smartphone. There are thousands you can download online that'll help you begin to understand yourself better.

Books on making money, books on managing your emotions, books on relationships, books on personalities, etc. Just Google it and download them.

Remember too, don't be obsessed, do it all in moderation and pay attention to even the kind of books you'll download to read...

You're well on your way to building yourself and figuring out your values and moral codes.

NB: there are some websites for men and by men that I used to follow, but I can only remember two right now to share with you:

www.markmanson.net
www.askmen.com

These ones are pages I consider a POSITIVE model for masculinity, not reddit incel and redpill pages. So, good luck. cheesy

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by NeckingNgulping(m): 2:32am On Jul 15, 2022
Persephone1:
Oga if you no wan marry nobody hold you.

Which one is life has, life has. If marriage no benefit you, no do am! undecided

Yes, i no go do am. Period.
Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by NeckingNgulping(m): 2:48am On Jul 15, 2022
Persephone1:
This is relative, I can not type what every woman as it differs but I will try as much as possible to type out what some sensible women I know look out for in a Man.

The first thing that strikes a woman in a man is his Comportment. When a woman meets you for the first time, she notices how you carry yourself. Your carriage speaks a lot about you. 1) Your maturity: how you deal with people around
2) Your confidence: How you see yourself
3) Your Aura: What you are all about.

This is why in first 5 minutes of meeting you a woman can decide if she wants a long or short term dealings with you.

As you move on with each other, she checks your level of knowledge, intelligence, assertiveness, discipline, self control, your plans, your goals, your conflict resolution ability, your rage level, time management, financial management, communication skills, leadership skills, your resilience, your vulnerability level, how you handle difficult situation, Your playfulness, Your emotional intelligence , ability to play a lover and a teacher etc. If you can beat her in all these areas, i.e be above her in these areas, believe me she will respect you and want to have you. Because not only will she want to enjoy all you have,she would want her children to enjoy these traits and have them too.

There could be more, and some of the listed may not be needed depending on what she wants. But most of those things listed are what women secretly look out for in Men.

As for what can be of value to Man, that will be on you. You only know what you hold dear and what you stand for.

You owe me ooooo cheesy

With this long epistle, you don fall Nigeria girls there hand. They'll be looking at you with one eye and be like " wetin this one dey type wey money no dey" ; grin grin
Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by Nobody: 7:29am On Jul 15, 2022
Okay
Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by Nobody: 7:41am On Jul 15, 2022
begoniaa:


grin grin Ah, you are bothered? You don't mean it. No be you talk say you wan dey send me on a wild goose chase? Omo, na for una doormot we go come dey roost be that na. You want to smear us with a "marital clock" vileness and you think you won't taste of our bitter characters? You are kidding, kid.

If you will decide to be a fire-stoking demon shaming me, don't cry when I leap at you and scar you.

And e no mean say I go end up with you, but you must taste the sting of the hornet's nest you are stirring.

Wailing, broke, desperate and "valueless" simps like the OP dey for us. They will always be there to wife me. So shame away; it'll all work for good for me, babe. kiss
Your last paragraph is the reality for every typical naija babe. After who**ing around for years,when they've passed their prime,they only marry who they can not who they want. Women bleep who dey want and marry who they can.
Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by Tboymessiah(m): 7:54am On Jul 15, 2022
Persephone1:
This is relative, I can not type what every woman as it differs but I will try as much as possible to type out what some sensible women I know look out for in a Man.

The first thing that strikes a woman in a man is his Comportment. When a woman meets you for the first time, she notices how you carry yourself. Your carriage speaks a lot about you. 1) Your maturity: how you deal with people around
2) Your confidence: How you see yourself
3) Your Aura: What you are all about.

This is why in first 5 minutes of meeting you a woman can decide if she wants a long or short term dealings with you.

As you move on with each other, she checks your level of knowledge, intelligence, assertiveness, discipline, self control, your plans, your goals, your conflict resolution ability, your rage level, time management, financial management, communication skills, leadership skills, your resilience, your vulnerability level, how you handle difficult situation, Your playfulness, Your emotional intelligence , ability to play a lover and a teacher etc. If you can beat her in all these areas, i.e be above her in these areas, believe me she will respect you and want to have you. Because not only will she want to enjoy all you have,she would want her children to enjoy these traits and have them too.

There could be more, and some of the listed may not be needed depending on what she wants. But most of those things listed are what women secretly look out for in Men.

As for what can be of value to Man, that will be on you. You only know what you hold dear and what you stand for.

You owe me ooooo cheesy

You have done well.... what a mind opening

2 Likes

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by Nobody: 7:57am On Jul 15, 2022
begoniaa:


grin grin Ah, you are bothered? You don't mean it. No be you talk say you wan dey send me on a wild goose chase? Omo, na for una doormot we go come dey roost be that na.

Wailing, broke, desperate and "valueless" simps like the OP dey for us. They will always be there to wife me. So shame away; it'll all work for good for me, babe. kiss
They'll be there to wife you and you'll gladly accept because at the end that's what you desire most,that's what every woman desire most, TO GET MARRIED. Bt then when you see the guy who's different from the desperate,wailing broke simp you married,you'll cheat with him because you're only loyal to your emotions not to the your desperate broke wailing simp of a hubby,that's y many married women cheats today.

1 Like

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by Nobody: 8:11am On Jul 15, 2022
begoniaa:
grin grin Las' las', reality go meet every one of you brostitutes. The other day it was Nwanneni, today it is you. You people have not start to see anything o. Una go find good women taya. Shey you are waiting for Isaiah 4:1 to come to pass? Just wait a lirru bit more. Keep waiting.
Sister, u are missing the point. It's not like he can't find a woman. Actually, he's got loads of them. He just want a woman he can marry. That's all.
The words of Isaiah mean men will be scarce.. As you can see, men are scarce. Do you have a man in your life?

2 Likes

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by Justnow2022: 8:54am On Jul 15, 2022
Persephone1:
This would be so great! Please let's encourage breeding more of Ned. That will help to eradicate poverty in Nigeria.

Having the average Nigerian worth billions would be so wonderful to the country's economic growth. And yes! Women won't have to labour through stress and tears to raise their kids and live life.

It's a Win-Win after all!

So it’s all about women comfort.
Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by Justnow2022: 8:55am On Jul 15, 2022
nijaomegacode:

Sister, u are missing the point. It's not like he can't find a woman. Actually, he's got loads of them. He just want a woman he can marry. That's all.
The words of Isaiah mean men will be scarce.. As you can see, men are scarce. Do you have a man in your life?

You dey mind these feminists.
Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by Nobody: 9:12am On Jul 15, 2022
nijaomegacode:

Sister, u are missing the point. It's not like he can't find a woman. Actually, he's got loads of them. He just want a woman he can marry. That's all.
The words of Isaiah mean men will be scarce.. As you can see, men are scarce. Do you have a man in your life?
She go tell you yes

1 Like

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by Nobody: 9:19am On Jul 15, 2022
Justnow2022:


You dey mind these feminists.
I wonder how a man that's doing well for himself will be DESPERATE to get married.

2 Likes

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by Hacks4dummies: 9:21am On Jul 15, 2022
See that kid wey dey trip for every handsome tom dick and harry sef dey judge man. What irony!
Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by jasminer: 9:39am On Jul 15, 2022
Humans would always want companionship as they get older but when the chips are down, loneliness hits men more than it hits women. But because true love is scarce, people are now seeking true love in an offspring. This is where the women win the game.

I always said it that the next 10yrs will be interesting.
The first man after being alone for years decided it was better to die with Eve than live alone forever. Some people think they are wiser than Adam and the female gender is only good for hookup or producing babies. Limao.

Isaiah 4:1 isn't a future prophecy. It has already been fulfilled. It is a continuation of Isaiah 3:25-26
Isaiah 3: 25
Thy men shall fall by the sword, and thy mighty in the war.
Isaiah 3: 26
And her gates shall lament and mourn; and she being desolate shall sit upon the ground.
Isaiah 4: 1
And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.
******************************************

Currently, male population vs female population is 52:48 (google is your friend before you start arguing). For Isaiah's prophecy to happen, it should be 14:86 (1 man to 7 women or more even).

Husbands are scarce, men are not scarce. Same way wives are more scarce but women are not scarce.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by karkinase(m): 9:44am On Jul 15, 2022
Don’t sweat it … most Nigeria girls are in into hookup now.. so they hardly can think of getting hooked to one relationship

1 Like

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by Justnow2022: 9:49am On Jul 15, 2022
Dimples2022:


But are you, and could you ever be Ned? lol! Reality check!

You never can tell what the future holds. Besides, I don’t need to be as rich as Ned to marry a much younger girl.

My dad isn’t rich, but he married a very young girl, and that almost shattered my family. We had to accept it eventually.

1 Like

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by yommyoke: 9:50am On Jul 15, 2022
Importance of marriage.
1. Reproduction, marriage helps with continuation, it gives rise to another generation.
But in this era of baby mama!?
With baby mama, the whole idea of having offsprings has been fulfilled.
You just to be so serious with your children, bring them up in a decently way.
You don't necessarily marry your baby mama, the whole idea of having offsprings has been fulfilled sha
2. Marriage creates a lifetime helper for you
Ehen, marriage doesn't guarantee a lifetime helper anymore, that's why you need a genuine circle of friends, no matter how small it is, even if you're just two or three, these people will have your back anytime, anywhere.
If you are of the type that don't have comforters, gistmates, companions and someone to let out your thoughts with, then you probably need to change your circle.
Marriage is necessary, but not compulsory in this era, you can live a sound, interesting and purposeful life without it, just have sense and the right people around you
Anything that rocks everyone's boat, your own happiness is the main deal.
Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by BobbyZrealist(m): 10:24am On Jul 15, 2022
I thought been all nice and good increases your chances of getting better friendships and relationships- Costly assumption.
It only made me appear like a sissy.... trying to be what the society tags ideal.
So I switched back to my Default settings,cocky,brave and a suptle IDGAF in me.
Most times now I feel very good about my self.
NB:Be emotionless when you dealing with Women....as a Man if not,you will develop High BP in no time.
Also never try to understand Women,take them the way they come, beacause you will never understand them,forget what people say by "take your time".
Always feel good about yourself and carry yourself high.
That void cannot be filled by a Woman,it can only be filled by an inner believe in self-worth.

5 Likes

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by begoniaa: 10:29am On Jul 15, 2022
LutherSanchez:
They'll be there to wife you and you'll gladly accept because at the end that's what you desire most,that's what every woman desire most, TO GET MARRIED. Bt then when you see the guy who's different from the desperate,wailing broke simp you married,you'll cheat with him because you're only loyal to your emotions not to the your desperate broke wailing simp of a hubby,that's y many married women cheats today.

Look here, I have been pretty chill and civil with you so had better respect that and let's keep it that way. Later you will talk about having sense and how Naija women are dumb. You ran away from EVERY ARGUMENTS we threw at you, but you want to jump on a troll insults to me and fight personal? And you're supposedly logical? You don't have shame? You no get the chutzpah to sensibly thrash all my points as a woman, but you think you have found an easy entry into me by latching onto my response to a troll?

I will not tell you this again. Choose to be unfortunate by giving a trollish response to me once more...

3 Likes

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by begoniaa: 10:34am On Jul 15, 2022
Justnow2022:
You dey mind these feminists.

Posty56, you no go like rest? undecided You dey for the other thread, bothering about your genotype and your chances of getting a partner yet you are here trying to...? grin You too you are not ashamed. I pursue you comot for thread, tail in-between your legs, and you're left to a mess of responding to other guys' responses to me, repeating a weak "feminists are yen yen yen" line like a broken record. Mtcheeeewww.

3 Likes

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by begoniaa: 10:57am On Jul 15, 2022
nijaomegacode:
Sister, u are missing the point. It's not like he can't find a woman. Actually, he's got loads of them. He just want a woman he can marry. That's all.
The words of Isaiah mean men will be scarce.. As you can see, men are scarce. Do you have a man in your life?

Point of correction... he's still looking for a meaningful relationship at this point. So the fact that he cannot find a suitable woman for the relationship he desires does not mean he can't find a woman? He's meeting women rather, but none want what he wants, so yeah, he *CAN'T* find one...

Men are scarce? But this OP is not; you are looking for a wife; Posty56 is available and plenty other guys on this thread are looking for a relationship. It is men that are creating heartbroken threads on NL bemoaning their lots at the hands of women... women that are supposed to be dragging for them.

grin Me? No I don't have a man, would you like to be the one? smiley


LutherSanchez:
Your last paragraph is the reality for every typical naija babe. After who**ing around for years,when they've passed their prime,they only marry who they can not who they want. Women bleep who dey want and marry who they can.

But your idiotic tomfoolu of a friend, NeckingNgulping, said he wants to send me on a wild goose chase of looking for a man to marry. He said I will keep running around in circles looking for a husband with my bad character to no avail, but here you are saying I will get married to whoever is available. grin

Abi una no go like reach a consensus? Which one? I go marry abi I no go marry?

If I go marry last, last, as a whoře or not, and that marriage will ultimately be beneficial to me, then keep your fking opinions to yourself about my marital life, dears. kiss You cannot shame me into a good thing, so why are you running around like a headless chicken trying to denigrate the same marriage to me?

Y'all have opted out of getting married, so it 200% certain I will not be marrying either of you or anyone on this thread for that matter, yet you are still having palpitations about my prospect of getting married. No be juju be that?

4 Likes

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by Tinity123: 11:01am On Jul 15, 2022
kartelkid:
Please guys I need to understand something that really bothers me; I sometimes result to smoking to cope with, as I find it really depressing.

In my early days I used to have girlfriends, and it was quite a deal, back then in school.
As I got older I switched to being used to hookups and ashawo; and the sorts, because I realized all I wanted was sex.

Years past, I've outgrown this hookup thing, and value creating relationships with women; which obviously includes sex, but is more serious and could lead to something in future.

What worries me is that despite all my attempts online and offline to find a relationship material woman; I realized that almost all the ladies I toasted wanted nothing but hookup. The moment I appear serious; they disappear or try to play mind games.

Please guys is this a normal thing now in our country, or it's just me experiencing this. It's really sad; and hopeless, as a normal relationship will help my morale and prepare for the future.

Have you found it easy to have permanent relationships without playing the religion card?

Am passing through hell just to get a true love �
Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by begoniaa: 11:03am On Jul 15, 2022
Justnow2022:
So it’s all about women comfort.

cheesy Pick one na... if you want to marry 20 women at the age of 60, bro, you gotta have the dough and characteristics of a Ned and Elon.

No be you tok say you go do am like Ned now? So you just want to marry anyhow without attaining the accompanying financial status? Must be ment. undecided

1 Like

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by yemzone(m): 11:03am On Jul 15, 2022
Datboredberri:
Awful... Nearly everyone in church these days are hypocrites... Pretentious, self-righteous human beings...

They have even become woke.
Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by begoniaa: 11:10am On Jul 15, 2022
Hacks4dummies:
See that kid wey dey trip for every handsome tom dick and harry sef dey judge man. What irony!

Are you referring to persephone? grin Why? They are not even mutually exclusive na. The same way men shame women yet love big yanshes and boobs is the same way we can drip for fine men, yet not give a fk about them... na just aesthetics and physical qualities, maidear. Nothing is there.

2 Likes

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by rickdaking(m): 11:12am On Jul 15, 2022
We gather dey op grin
Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by sniperr007(m): 11:12am On Jul 15, 2022
kartelkid:
Please guys I need to understand something that really bothers me; I sometimes result to smoking to cope with, as I find it really depressing.

In my early days I used to have girlfriends, and it was quite a deal, back then in school.
As I got older I switched to being used to hookups and ashawo; and the sorts, because I realized all I wanted was sex.

Years past, I've outgrown this hookup thing, and value creating relationships with women; which obviously includes sex, but is more serious and could lead to something in future.

What worries me is that despite all my attempts online and offline to find a relationship material woman; I realized that almost all the ladies I toasted wanted nothing but hookup. The moment I appear serious; they disappear or try to play mind games.

Please guys is this a normal thing now in our country, or it's just me experiencing this. It's really sad; and hopeless, as a normal relationship will help my morale and prepare for the future.

Have you found it easy to have permanent relationships without playing the religion card?

Change your search environment.

Plus increase the age of girls you woo. To late 20s or early 30s.
Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by mecefol853: 11:14am On Jul 15, 2022
Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by yemmit90: 11:15am On Jul 15, 2022
kartelkid:
Please guys I need to understand something that really bothers me; I sometimes result to smoking to cope with, as I find it really depressing.

In my early days I used to have girlfriends, and it was quite a deal, back then in school.
As I got older I switched to being used to hookups and ashawo; and the sorts, because I realized all I wanted was sex.

Years past, I've outgrown this hookup thing, and value creating relationships with women; which obviously includes sex, but is more serious and could lead to something in future.

What worries me is that despite all my attempts online and offline to find a relationship material woman; I realized that almost all the ladies I toasted wanted nothing but hookup. The moment I appear serious; they disappear or try to play mind games.

Please guys is this a normal thing now in our country, or it's just me experiencing this. It's really sad; and hopeless, as a normal relationship will help my morale and prepare for the future.

Have you found it easy to have permanent relationships without playing the religion card?

These days that women are looking for husbands up and down?

Maybe something is missing in your life that you need to fix first. Women no matter the age and level love to marry a man who is comfortable with his life, especially the ones they know can give them and their children good life. If they notice you don't have this,they will leave moment you want to get serious.

Besides,you can go for 25yrs and above women, this group understands life better than younger ones.
Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by Nobody: 11:16am On Jul 15, 2022
Justnow2022:


So it’s all about women comfort.
You want to be rich like Ned so as to marry lots of girls but don't want to accept that for every Ned there must be a Regina.

You make the money, Ladies spend the money. Fair deal if you ask me.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am I The Only One Finding It Difficult To Have A Relationship by Bruno3000(m): 11:16am On Jul 15, 2022
Church girls are worse.
KristaPretty:
The world is changing. Most people don't want to get married or entangled now

I suggest you join groups in the church volunteer groups as well where you can meet more responsible people I guess

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