Where this generation are getting it wrong is lack of proper planning. Guys and ladies remember say Na Nigeria you dey. Plan for your unborn children. Marriage is serious business.

djkirkoo2:
I gave her 55k for business I didn't see result rather she's saying that my baby is distracting her. Even when she was doing the business before she gets home I cook and prepare dinner so that she would be stress free. I bathe the baby, wash his clothes, even washes her clothes atimes just to relieve her of stress yet she keeps saying that she's suffering in the relationship. Recently I called her to iron things out she gave the phone to another man and the man really insulted hell out of me. I really wish I could drop the audio here because I record any of our conversation since we separated so that she won't be twisting stories to her favor.

Walahi, responsible man always suffer from the hands of his wife. Believe me.

.

Mindlog:
Go to your state of residence's social welfare office and get them to invite the mother of your son, bringing your son along as you all have to work out how to go about co-parenting your son for his best interest.

This idea will put bills on your head. Avoid it, u ll legally bond yourself ...

Better focus on yourself for now, make money u may still find your baby mama worthy of marriage .. poverty/low income can create unnecessary problems

Cutehector:
Why didnt you use condom sir?

It happened during lockdown and the nigga couldn't get one...

pocohantas:


Very nice guy. I am sure if we trace his ancestry, we would see he isn’t a Nigerian.

Haba Ma'am take it easy on Nigerian men now, I rate you high among Nigerian women here, no fall my hand as Nigeria man where I be

She sidon lazily eating for house no do any business, wrk, job even if it's online buying n selling.. to give any support.

If not evn washing the kids, hsbnd & her very own clothes nor cleaning the room, kitchen.. then says you've turned her to a slave, then give her space abeg n go an develop yourself my broda.

Except if na for s3x you dey put fireworks inside her punna, because you didn't tell us bout DAT Side oooo

Mrkumareze:


This idea will put bills on your head. Avoid it, u ll legally bond yourself ...

Better focus on yourself for now, make money u may still find your baby mama worthy of marriage .. poverty/low income can create unnecessary problems

I am not the OP.

He has an obligation to his child and can't just "switch off". The social welfare officials would consider his earnings and also tell the child's mother to get something doing to earn some income.

donem:

Haba Ma'am take it easy on Nigerian men now, I rate you high among Nigerian women here, no fall my hand as Nigeria man where I be

Read through the responses here and you would agree with me most guys wouldn’t be this persistent in the face of an uncooperative BM. No be insult, na just reality.

Sir your first mistake is that you brought her in to stay at your place.You people could have reach an agreement on both their up keep and she stay with her parents.First thing first try and involved social welfare or whatever govt agent close to you.And watch how things play out.Mean while take care of yourself

He said he loves his son

Just an Advice for you as I have been in such scenario before. don't let it get to you and start affection your emotions. I know it's hard but it's just the sad truth I will tell you if only you can do these you will be fine.

1. don't ever call her again and don't bother to know about her well being and don't send shishi to her

2. try and much as possible to leave the child to her no matter what it takes you.

once the child grows, he will ask her where is my father.

if you can do these things. though it's hard. you will surely get your sanity and focus on your life. always be prayerful.

Woman don suffer, 5k ke!

KimFab:



I read your post properly. And thanks for the explanation.

5k is big, but it's not big too. Does she work? How does she buy things like clothes, shoes, etc.?

55k for business? You did well.

So what should he do ? Go rub a bank ? Is she not aware of his salary range before opening her leg for him, without condom ? Why are you speaking like she is a toddler that MUST be cattered for ? Che no be everyone dey suffer for this buhari government so? Or men has a special magic for making money, when there isn't enough offer ?

Tori worwor

So your baby mama is jobless
Boy run for your dear life oo.

I will advise u to cool down let her nd her family take care of ur son while u focus to save money within short period, wen her mind nd brain restore back she will return to u since u didn't throw her outside. For ur son God knw u luv him anyway addy to him cos he senior me just a day am 30th August. Just relax everything will be fine

djkirkoo2:
hmmmmm. Wonderful. Me I earn 63k as salary and my rent is 210k annually. Below is how I disburse it:

Kitchen stocking - 25k.

Soup for the month (we cook soup 5 times in a month) - 15k.

Baby mama - 5k.

Light bill - 2k.

Purewater - 4k.

Stew, Beans, Moi moi: 5/6k

Gas - 5k.

Fuel: As the Lord leads but I do put on Gen almost everyday as far as there's no light.
Now if you observed you will see that I don't have any money for myself nor my baby, make sure I run other deals to meet up my rent and cater for my son.

Yet my baby mama go out to tarnish my image outside saying that I am treating her as a house girl, saying that she's like a slave, that she's in an abusive relationship this and that all the young ladies around my vicinity are all keeping malice with me because of her stories, they all believed her story.

Even when I try to talk people don't believe me. I got tired of the quarrels and nagging so I had to throw her things out and asked her to leave my house. Neighbors came in and intervened then asked me to consider my son that he's still a baby. I succumbed and left for work only for me to come back home that evening the 22nd of July and found out that she have left with my son that I love so much and yet all her things are still in my house.

Bring my baby sef all to no avail, oya let me be seeing him at least still no way. I've talked to her mom and siblings and all of them are taking her side saying a man is not supposed to throw a woman's things outside (even my family blamed me for throwing her things outside) oya I don agree sef still dey are hiding my baby that will be a year old on the 29th of this August from me.

Honestly her family wants me to settle with their daughter but to me I am no longer interested before I die of BP, so now they are using my son to blackmail me emotionally to accept their daughter back because they know that I love my son. If really I am suffering her and treating her like a slave like she always claim then I wonder why her family would want her to come back to my house to suffer.

Mind you, I don't even beat o, I only have bad mouth to reply her if she pisses me off. Honestly I am confused and don't know what to do because I really miss my son.

She will come back. Just chill no bother yourself much. If Nah because of the baby, he/she is in good hand. No let anyone talk you down. Try improve your income. Just leave her bro and save for the future. She will come and so for upkeep for the baby, I can bet you that, she will come looking for you even if her family is well to do.

65k is too small

KimFab:



I read your post properly. And thanks for the explanation.

5k is big, but it's not big too. Does she work? How does she buy things like clothes, shoes, etc.?

55k for business? You did well.

55k is not bad for som1 who the basics like rent,light,food,etc has been covered for.
Som1 can start retailing satchet water in bags with 55k and still make something out of it.

KimFab:
Baby mama? 5k? For salt abi pepper? Anyway, na mumu dey do baby mama for Nigerian men.

That aside, your rent is high o, for someone who earns 63k. Almost 4 out of 12 months is spent working for your landlord.

Baba na so e be for Nigeria of today o.

House rent matter no be small boy thing o.
Landlords be like dey no want Public Servant may dey live for house... If you dey earn less than 200k I dey hail you.
Na Yahoo Boys now dey pay Landlords.

Landlords be like, we want responsible people, wey dey work o, e no go get grown up children... Then our 2 bedroom apartment na 600-800k, with management fee 100k, Caution Fee 150k. You go come sign agreement to always declare interest to continue staying and paying 6/3 months before the expiration of your rent... And you must ready renew your rent ASAP or risk eviction.

Lawyers on the other hand don strong pass Landlords... Even the one wey dey stay for face me I face you and the one wey dey share apartment they form funky.

Hmm

Odunharry:
Less than 1k condom for make you avoid all the name callings.. Sorry bro. Please don't forget to take care of yourself also.

Pesin no go born pikin again?

You don't beat, but you only have bad mouth to insult her and emotionally abuse her.

Why is that small challenges of life that hits a marriage next thing is be querreling and shouting " he is not taking care of me"

Women, marriage no be wedding oooo
The day the wedding ends, marriage starts and tie your wrapper well because na real life war....

If you don't know how to pray, you better start now, because money matter, families matter, side chick matter, children matter dey, infact matter no dey finish.

If she can start something with a little amount, try get the fund for her so she can be engaged and equally add little benefits to the family.

I no dey put mouth for family matter, but make una turbo nna prayer for opportunities to show face.

If intelligent people like @womenareapez and @savedday always post that Naija girls are useless

You simps won't listen ,

Go fetch drinking water, remove that stoopid pure water from that list now

aestake:

Pesin no go born pikin again?

Born when you know say you ready mentally and financially.

pocohantas:


Read through the responses here and you would agree with me most guys wouldn’t be this persistent in the face of an uncooperative BM. No be insult, na just reality.

I know ma'am just appealing you relax the vaulence Abit, , on a lighter note I really respect your views on this forum, though some I don't agree with i just smh and laugh, u serve your reply to threads hot hot without sentiment still looking forward to Meeting you in person offline someday, God willing.

Take care and do have a nice weekend ahead.

pocohantas:


78 where? They no pass 7 o. The guy is really a good guy and shouldn’t be blamed for giving his BM N5000 a month. He can’t do pass himself!

As at when she decided to have the baby, she knew his income. Even this condom question doesn’t fly. The guy is not denying the baby and if a woman doesn’t want to have a baby, we all know she wouldn’t.

I do not see the sense in a woman saying it is her body when it pleases her, but go ahead to malign the man who wasn’t ready to have a child for not meeting up with her preferred child support.

If you want to be a BM, you as a woman should also be very prepared and the man should support too. Linda Ikeji no get two head.

I love you dearest for this speckle of honesty.

CaptainAyub:

55k is not bad for som1 who the basics like rent,light,food,etc has been covered for.
Som1 can start retailing satchet water in bags with 55k and still make something out of it.

Sure, 55k can start petty business. He did well. I had to commend him for that.

Mindlog:


If you love yourself, don't try that ..... Nigerian Police love such case, part of "settling" the case is you paying for their cost of logistics of tracking you down.

Hope he listened to this advice