toyinid78:
stop giving yourself uneeded headache , just focus on yourself,your son will be with you at the needed time , I love the fact u own up and didn't mind those maggots saying u should use condom

don't mind them

PETGEB:
oga dis one na pure lie u no put the following item
Transport
Security/sweeper
Pocket money
Food at work

that was why I said that myself and my son's welfare doesn't even capture in my salary.

OkoAnike:
.


Bear the pain of missing your son and pretend not to be concerned about both the mother and your son, don't send money don't call and when you see a flash from her or any of her family don't call back... I give you 6 month, they will come begging that you should at least have your son

I just pray they allow me to see him at least. His birthday is this coming Monday and I sew this for him

BluntCrazeMan:
It's as if marrying is cheaper..
What did I just read here??
..
If you marry another lady, na another wahalla, because you will be settling two families at once.
And both families belong to you.

yes o

jaydee87:
My broda you be man.
You are trying but we can't satisfy our spouses, we can only try and u dey try according to wetin u write o. Anyway like someone suggested even if na pos business try ur best to start for her. It's not easy but atleast make she sef work small for money. Can I ask can u marry her? If yes look for ways to make her independent and do the needful,make her your wife and start planning. Your child should be considered in any decision u taking.

GOD go help u

with all these happenings, nothing on earth will make me to settle nor marry her.

Ekemeziegraciou:
maybe you will just try and give some space for like a month or two. Though it might not be easy

I'm working on it already. Thanks

fluffybaby:


So sorry. You sef control your tongue small na. Imagine if she has sharp mouth to insult you everytime you "piss" her off? Isn't that the nagging and insults men lament about in their homes? So unless you two are in an insulting bout Abi battle, stop saying nasty things to her. Also, the 55k you gave her, how did you guys plan for her to spend it? What business and what items? You guys need counselling for sure but if go no go, come no come and you decide to move on she shouldn't deny you access to your child. Abi do you have the tendency to kidnap him if she decides not to be with you again? Anyways, go to the family court around you and settle the matter.

I will visit human rights soon

I just read your post, I saw people's comments and I saw your replies too. I observe that you seem to be a responsible man irrespective of the situation that led to having a baby mama. Even some men that are legally married are not half as responsible as you are to their families. I saw the breakdown of how you spend your salary and it is commendable. Many of them have condemned you here especially those saying N50k is too small to give a baby mama for business. Let me tell you, you don't owe her anything because you didn't marry her and you don't have any spousal agreement, you only owe your baby care and responsibility. She cannot make you her life saver just because she has a baby through you.
What I want you to know is that you are entitled to seeing your child and you should be sending some money for his upkeep, not for your baby mama's upkeep. She should go and find work or her family should establish a business for her.
As a matter of fact, you are free to marry if you want and you see a suitable lady for you. Nobody can stop you. Don't let that baby mama hold you to ransome because of your child, live your life and be happy. Just ensure you are sending some money for your child's upkeep. Let her and her family know that you cannot be tied down because she has your baby.

djkirkoo2:
I gave her 55k for business I didn't see result rather she's saying that my baby is distracting her. Even when she was doing the business before she gets home I cook and prepare dinner so that she would be stress free. I bathe the baby, wash his clothes, even washes her clothes atimes just to relieve her of stress yet she keeps saying that she's suffering in the relationship. Recently I called her to iron things out she gave the phone to another man and the man really insulted hell out of me. I really wish I could drop the audio here because I record any of our conversation since we separated so that she won't be twisting stories to her favor.

I sympathise with u. However I have a feelings I are the type that likes talking and maybe trying to prove u are right. This affects relationship...it stresses it.
However, ur girl really passed boundary with the way she gave another guy phone to yab u.
Are u guys still very young?

Men are really going through a lot and nobody listen to us

One4me:


Look, to be honest with you, women have always used the child(ren) to Blackmail their Husband, especially if the Husband is the type they perceive, loves his children, f[/b]rom the days of Adam so it is not new.
But l am happy that you realized that if you are not careful, you will quickly joining other men who have died early before their time, due to the pressure and heart troubles of cantankerous women.

First, make your heart strong, if you die, that child will live and your Woman will make him call her latest Boyfriend "Daddy" (That go really pain your dead body! ). Although l understand how Men feel about their first Son but dont allow anyone to see him as your weakness because that will be the greatest weapon she will deploy against you.

Any Woman who uses the Child as a weapon against the Husband, [b]is capable of killing that Husband and should be avoided like a plague.
I understand both of you are not legally married and he Parents seems not to be able to say and do the right thing, which is order her back to her "husbands" House. So, you started on a very wrong footing and this can be God's way of bailing you out.

So, they want to keep the Child right? Fine, let them keep and be raising him, at least for now. Use the time to work on yourself.
#63K salary will not get you far in life and you should not even be having a Child with such level of income otherwise, you will end up struggling all your life.

Go back to your Single Status.
Rent a Cheaper, Self contain Apartment
Start saving Money instead of living from one pay-check to another.
Hustle harder, to make more money. Start a Side Business that wont disturb your current job. You are nothing without Money and that is why the lady's Parent are disrespecting you!
If your level of Education is low, this is the time to improve it.
Yes, Sex is required but their are other ladies out there who would jump at you, if they see Potential in you .... but remember to always use a Condom! Get another girl that is younger and is not desperate to have a baby, probably one that is still in a high Institution and is looking forward to a bright future, not just spawning Babies.

Change your House Keys IMMEDIATELY, Forget that your baby Mama, your Child will be brought to you, with BEGGING, if you start making progress with your Life but never forget to teach her a lesson, just cater for your Child, never have anything to do with he, from now on.

THIS IS A SECOND CHANCE FOR YOU TO GIVE A NEW DIRECTION TO YOUR LIFE. Grab it with both hand otherwise, you will remember this lost opportunity.
That Woman is the type that will never allow a Man to grow in Life. a good woman always plan with her Man, on how they can progress in life and despite being open with her and "trying your best", she is still not satisfied and wants to push you into debt and poverty, because she is not contented. She should go and get a job herself and see how far.

Be a Man and be decisive otherwise, face the consequences.
Worst case Scenario, you take another Woman and have one more Child, to take care of your emotions and attachment to Children nut sincerely, it is still a sign of weakness and they have a way of coming back to haunt the weakling.

Nice one. Thanks

jeromestarks:

Don't worry op. You're not a bad boy. Bad boys wouldn't do the thing you did. She missed her English classes that's why she called you a bad boy.
YOU'RE A FOOLISH BOY.

hahahaha

4Humanity4All:


Your definition of being responsible is relative. Putting religion aside, they both had consensual sex. He didn't force himself on her.They both probably agreed to keep the baby. So,they are in it together.
To raise that child, only one person can't be providing the financial support.

Yet only one person was providing it with breastfeeding support.

You're trying to blame their state on the woman, but did this OP ever say he wanted her to work? Did he set her up to earn an income? Or he impregnated an unemployed woman and you expect her to suddenly have employment because she gave birth to his son? He didn't think of needing support with his finances before impregnating a woman that was not earning money because he feels he's a wealthy boyfriend.

Sometimes you people comment without perspective. We know, you want all women to work. Yet at the same time, you don't really want that. Otherwise this thread wouldn't be here. Anything to push the ministry of blaming women for responsibilities heads of homes can't handle. Or isn't this guy a head any more?

His financial situation isn't hinged on her.

When he finally tells us how he convinced her to be in that situation with him, you will marvel at her long-suffering patience with him.

oguntoyese:
Quite similar to what am facing.
Some Ladies/ Women are just ingrates and so full of themselves when they have no financial inputs. Never will I go closer to a job less or unindustrious woman again. They will drain you.
Despite the man providing everything for the baby and the mother.
To the extent buying the woman bra and pants.
I think some women just choose to be a baby mama.

Two Captain cannot sail a Ship.

My Son is with my parents for now.

Since your only input is in the finances, it is okay to accuse her of having no financial input. That's nice

Two captains cannot sail a ship, but you want her financial input. The man is the head of the home, why are you denying that?

A lot of men don't know what they really want. You can't eat your cake and have it.

BRATISLAVA:


Yet only one person was providing it with breastfeeding support.

You're trying to blame their state on the woman, but did this OP ever say he wanted her to work? Did he set her up to earn an income? Or he impregnated an unemployed woman and you expect her to suddenly have employment because she gave birth to his son? He didn't think of needing support with his finances before impregnating a woman that was not earning money because he feels he's a wealthy boyfriend.

Sometimes you people comment without perspective. We know, you want all women to work. Yet at the same time, you don't really want that. Otherwise this thread wouldn't be here. Anything to push the ministry of blaming women for responsibilities heads of homes can't handle. Or isn't this guy a head any more?

His financial situation isn't hinged on her.

When he finally tells us how he convinced her to be in that situation with him, you will marvel at her long-suffering patience with him.

Oh, you clearly didn't follow through with the thread. You just quoted me and typed somethings down with the purpose of having an unnecessary argument. If you followed the thread properly,you will find answers to most of your questions there.
For the record, in no way did I blame the woman. All I tried to say is 'two heads are better than one', so, don't put your words into my mouth. Do we have an history or something?

Cutehector:
she wasnt pretending sir. A woman will always be a woman when a baby is involved.

She will tell you, when it was sweeting you, why didnt you pull out. So bro, its all on you.

Aswear, My Verdict too:
I dislike Rantings from Man, Women Rant, Man Solves or Toast Your Way Out of Her Ratchet Life Sotey She go carry Her Money Give You while You Repay Her Back Once You Bounce Up:


A Man Should man a Woman:

Every Woman is a Mother with the Right Guy, Just Lock Yourself into Her Emotional Portal and She will Conduct Her Maternal Instincts on You while You Repay Her in Kind(Care), Cash and Dickings to Help Hold Her Body and Soul Together:


If you no get Money, Get Good Words and Sweet Mouths ... E get why, Garagara with a Woman will launch you into Mental State because Most Women are Only Normal to the extent of the Normalcy in their Male Handlers Head !

Just Make more money. Side gigs, freelancing, investing in stablecoins on apps like Binance or Yellow Card etc

truthsayer009:


I'm very sure the Western Leftist does not support this opinion of yours sha, because their own Law defies logic. According to Law, you will be responsible for the child even when you already had a sit down discussion with the lady at the early period of conception that you both shouldn't have the baby, If or when she still goes ahead, you would still be 100% responsible for the upkeep until 18 years of age, irrespective of whether you had an agreement, verbal or written.

Infact this opinion you wrote will cause a lot of attention if it was a Black American forum, dem go delete or block your account sharpaly.

I support the Western Leftist on This and I think Such needed to be replicated in Nigeria in order to Curb the Surge of Almajiri in Northern Nigeria whom are Potential Recruits for Terrorists and Irresponsibilities in Southern Nigeria:

Once You Fertilised a Woman's Egg, You MUST be Responsible for What Your Seed is Doing In her Body regardless of Planned or Unplanned So Be Very Careful and Sure not to Pass Your Seed into Her Egg and Be Very Ready to Father A Child from Your Own Seed:

I think It is Hightime We Men Started Fvcking with Our Brain not just Removing the Brain from Sex due to "e dey Sweet me" .. That's Next Level Evolution: Put Brain to Sex:

You fvck a Woman to Belle, Carry Your Cross except both of you agreed to Abort the Mission:

Also, Abortion has to be Mutual, If she doesn't agree to Abortion of the life growing in her Body, the Man that Implanted the Life Must be Responsible or Go to Jail and Made to Work and Pay Child Support:

The Onus is:

Once the Sex Starts, Have a Mindset that You are gonna be Responsible for A Child/Pregnancy that Resulted from the Sex Planned or Unplanned:

Cc:
Pocohantas, You seem One Sided:
I tell Men not to Have Sexual Intercourse with a Woman they Won't Father Her Child once Yawa Gas, If You Fvck Each Other, Don't Ejaculate Inside ... If You Do ... She has Right to Terminate or Not(It's Her Body Not His) So if 50% of Your Investments is going Inside Someone's Body, Be Ready to Reap the Dividends at Maturities

Sweetplum:

And he want to marry another woman without upgrading his pay? He ll keep getting the baby mamas type. You don't know that it's lack of money that's causing fight in that relationship. Only few women can withstand N63K

It is not his lack of Money, Some people are Earning less and maintaining Home even Some Technicians ain't making 60k Monthly but they Manage their Life so Well:

63k on 210 rent is a Fowl:
With a Baby Mama and a Child Support that's a Penalty Kick:

He is now thinking of running from the Goal Posts that's Abdication of Responsibilities:

Some Level of Income ain't suppose to Enter GbasGbos because Frustrations will result from the Brouhaha:

A 63k shouldn't Fornicate, If You Should Fornicate Don't Ejaculate, If You should Ejaculate Don't Give Belle if you do: Replan Everything to Incorporate Mother and Child and Find Means of Increasing Your Income Net:

New Skills, New Businesses, New Horizon and Bring Your Woman into your Plans with Sweet Words....

Welcome Aboard on Life Journeys:

Abandon Your Kid, Nemesis is Coming for Your Nyansh:

DonroxyII:
Aswear, My Verdict too:
I dislike Rantings from Man, Women Rant, Man Solves or Toast Your Way Out of Her Ratchet Life Sotey She go carry Her Money Give You while You Repay Her Back Once You Bounce Up:


A Man Should man a Woman:

Every Woman is a Mother with the Right Guy, Just Lock Yourself into Her Emotional Portal and She will Conduct Her Maternal Instincts on You while You Repay Her in Kind(Care), Cash and Dickings to Help Hold Her Body and Soul Together:


If you no get Money, Get Good Words and Sweet Mouths ... E get why, Garagara with a Woman will launch you into Mental State because Most Women are Only Normal to the extent of the Normalcy in their Male Handlers Head !

wisdom bro. Correct wisdom

djkirkoo2:
she has ran away with my son for over a month now

If u die tomorrow,that child will still survive.
If you're locked up in d cell/prison, u won't see that child and you won't die.
If u travel abroad for hustle,u won't see that child and both of u won't die.
BONE YOUR BABY MAMA AND YOUR BABY FOR NOW AND INCREASE YOUR HUSTLE.
THAT CHILD IS THE ONLY HOLD THEY HAVE ON YOU AND THEY'RE USING HER TO BLACKMAIL YOU EMOTIONALLY.
But while u r boning,make sure to regularly send her upkeep money AND KEEP THE EVIDENCE OF FUNDS SENT.
Cos tomorrow they will claim u don't do anything for the baby.
If u do this,na she and her family go begin beg u to even have a relationship with them.

thinkmoney:

I sympathise with u. However I have a feelings I are the type that likes talking and maybe trying to prove u are right. This affects relationship...it stresses it.
However, ur girl really passed boundary with the way she gave another guy phone to yab u.
Are u guys still very young?

I am 37 while she's 25.

RepoMan007:
Lol. Give her suffering 2.0 assurance and she will return.

For a moment of sin and pleasure, you practically have no savings.

Your baby mama needs a trade, you need additional skill/trade to supplement your income, but most importantly, go back to God to reshapen your life.

Peace.

djkirkoo2:
I am 37 while she's 25.

U both are very much of age.
Please avoid being over desperate about ur child so no one can use it to blackmail u.
Look inward too to see if there are things u do too much , like nagging etc.
But importantly, don't let anybody take u for a ride. U appear to be trying ur best.
Do not ever beat her. Instead u let her go.
If she wouldn't settle peacefully with u and give u access to ur child, u may need to get the authority involved.
Seek peace anyway. Find balance

CaptainAyub:

If u die tomorrow,that child will still survive.
If you're locked up in d cell/prison, u won't see that child and you won't die.
If u travel abroad for hustle,u won't see that child and both of u won't die.
BONE YOUR BABY MAMA AND YOUR BABY FOR NOW AND INCREASE YOUR HUSTLE.
THAT CHILD IS THE ONLY HOLD THEY HAVE ON YOU AND THEY'RE USING HER TO BLACKMAIL YOU EMOTIONALLY.
But while u r boning,make sure to regularly send her upkeep money AND KEEP THE EVIDENCE OF FUNDS SENT.
Cos tomorrow they will claim u don't do anything for the baby.
If u do this,na she and her family go begin beg u to even have a relationship with them.

OP follow this advice please

djkirkoo2:
with all these happenings, nothing on earth will make me to settle nor marry her.

Shut up Abeg. Before we know it u don give am belle again. See mouth like nothing on earth

Landmack:


Shut up Abeg. Before we know it u don give am belle again. See mouth like nothing on earth

LOL

thinkmoney:

U both are very much of age.
Please avoid being over desperate about ur child so no one can use it to blackmail u.
Look inward too to see if there are things u do too much , like nagging etc.
But importantly, don't let anybody take u for a ride. U appear to be trying ur best.
Do not ever beat her. Instead u let her go.
If she wouldn't settle peacefully with u and give u access to ur child, u may need to get the authority involved.
Seek peace anyway. Find balance

thanks very much

djkirkoo2:
she brought up the business plan and idea so I had to adhere.

Did you ask questions? She just collected the money and squandered it.

Hamachi:
Did you ask questions? She just collected the money and squandered it.

the day I asked her she turned it to quarrel.

Landmack:


Shut up Abeg. Before we know it u don give am belle again. See mouth like nothing on earth

never. Right now the case is at welfare. I took the matter to welfare so I can be seeing my son when I want to and be fending for him. They just want me to be fending for him while they hide him from me.

BRATISLAVA:


Since your only input is in the finances, it is okay to accuse her of having no financial input. That's nice

Two captains cannot sail a ship, but you want her financial input. The man is the head of the home, why are you denying that?

A lot of men don't know what they really want. You can't eat your cake and have it.

Despite my financial input I didn't complain.
All I wanted was respect. Was I asking too much!!!