Abbeytoy:
My friend was in a serious car accident about two years ago, which required him to use crutches after spending six months in the hospital. During the process, his jobless wife received an offer to work in another state, the state where she grew up, to support the family... my friend encouraged her to accept the job because he is unable to work during that time and needs someone to take on the primary responsibilities. But, in the two years since she got the job, she has never looked back or visited my friend.

Because she has stated that she needs some space to work for the time being, all of the family's efforts to settle it have been futile.

My friend is now working from home and considering getting a second wife because her first claimed she needed space.

Nota bene: My friend has never cheated on her, he does not drink or smoke, and he hasn't had sex in nearly 30 months prior to the accident...

He is considering taking on another wife without a proper divorce because he refuses to cheat.

They have two wonderful children, a 10-year-old boy and a 7-year-old daughter.

My friend only needed a companion during this difficult time...

Should I counsel him to begin cheating or simply find someone to marry?

Your advice will be greatly appreciated, and I am confident that both of them will be reading this as Nairalander.

cc: lalasticlala
mynd44
mukina2
seun

Please do the needful for better advice

In all u do remember that

Getting a second wife legally is not a sin(no where in the bible and quran go against it) dont let some abanilayeje koba e.

Cheating is a sin

Jovialjune1:



This is not text book advice, just common sense

Long distance marriage has been happening from time immemorial and that of Op's friend wouldn't be the last, so where exactly is the trash in that? Is it not the long distance marriage people do that husband will be abroad, the wife in naija, yet you all expect the wife to be faithful while husbands cheat at will wherever he is, then shout to high heavens if the wives are caught or seen doing same cheating act he does?

And how do you know she isn't coming back? Are you Op's friend or you know the wife personally?

Since he has fully recovered and works from home, what stops him from going to where she is to keep his marriage alive, with his work being very flexible and she probably works 9-5, why can't he compromise and move over to wherever she is?

If their marriage is at a place of no return and he wants to enjoy himself, he should inform his wife of his need for second wife, divorce if she doesn't agree, and enjoy his fun with another woman in peace, very simple.

At bolded, I love that and I believe he also see it... Which ever way, I will screenshot this

Jovialjune1:



Do you have comprehension issues? Who is supporting who? I said it TWICE in my first and second comment that he should divorce her if the marriage is not salvageable or are you blind? Where is the support there? You guys just throw baseless senseless words when bereft of nothing valid to say without thinking, Where did I call it a relationship? It is a long distant MARRIAGE not relationship, as in married people staying apart.....do you understand

You don't have to abuse to state your fact...

Thanks for your input

Kobojunkie:
He still likes his wife but he can't wait for her for what exact reason?

I believe lack of communications and Konji

Lol. Interesting. It's like the wife has already moved on. Though there are many details left out, but based on the information you provided.

Since the man is now back to his job, he should tell the wife to come back home.

If the wife refuses, then he should end the marriage legally and remarry. Separation of 2 years is too long for a marriage.

Abbeytoy:
I believe lack of communications and Konji

Who is caring for his kids? He should consider channeling that energy into being a better father to them instead, after that is all that is, an energy that needs to be spent somewhere.

That woman is not interested in that marriage anymore, quote me anywhere.

crackhaus:
That woman is not interested in that marriage anymore, quote me anywhere.

I think the woman has moved on too but the husband is yet to come to reality.

Your wife has a boyfriend and is getting fücked where she resides.Your wife has a boyfriend and is getting fücked where she resides....

advanceDNA:
My own question is why did u have to write NB in full...

Honestly, I didnt even know that's NB in full until you mentioned it. He just educated me biko.

Meanwhile, OP hasn't seen the memo that his marriage had broken down. He should move on.

There is something you didn't tell us. 30months before the accident they stopped haveing sex, what caused that, it means that there were some unresolved issues. I think he should deal with that first.