Mide70:
this is not about responsibility..if you know me hmmmm just that the mother-in-law is just like that

It depends on many things; what do they discuss? What kind of woman is your MIL? Manipulative? What about your wife? Is she gullible? And then you, can you take charge of your home?

If she's not manipulative and your wife ain't gullible, her incessant calls should pose no threat. Even if your MIL is troublesome, if you can handle your home well, I still see no wahala.
My dad calls me every other day and very early in the morning too or late in the evening. He said that's when network is at its clearest. There are no emergencies, he just wants to talk. Our parents are kinda, especially as they're getting older. A lot of tolerance is needed.

Mide70:
Please I need your opinion on this issue.

Though before I got married I discovered my mother inlaw calls all her daughters both married and unmarried everyday (only 3 ladies no boys) and they fear her to the bone.

At times every morning and night just to talk to them but I believe when they get married they need privacy and respect but this is not the case for my mother-in-law and I detest such act.

Mind you I'm not against call or trying to break the bond but I believe this is marriage. I'm looking for a way to stop all that

I'm I wrong or right to take that step ?

you can deal with her indirectly, through you wife, you have to teach your wife, how to deal with her eg when when she fines phone she needs to cut the conversation short, cut if by eg "mum i will get back to you i need to attend to my husband"

Eventually it will sink in to her that,her daughter give more attention to her home than her phoning every morning as if she is sick

People gotten that, you great time to be missed than to be constantly in touch for no good reason

You are insecure. My wife has a close relationship with her sister and mom. I only complain when she is distracted from a task at the time. She has found time to adjust now, and i have embraced her mom as my closest ally at home. She is a cool lady. I am not afraid that they will overrun my home. I have ENOUGH QUALITY TO MAKE ME valued at home.

flyingdutchman:
You are insecure. My wife has a close relationship with her sister and mom. I only complain when she is distracted from a task at the time. She has found time to adjust now, and i have embraced her mom as my closest ally at home. She is a cool lady. I am not afraid that they will overrun my home. I have ENOUGH QUALITY TO MAKE ME valued at home.

remember there are mothers who influence daughters or sons to run thier marriages the way the MiL run her own marriage which cause fights with their respective partners

[op I can understand your feelings and majority of the comments here are just trying to make you feel like your concern is not justifiable probably because you don't come from a loving and close family calling you and checking on you all the time, I have been in your shoes and I know your feelings my mom wife's used to be like that too calling every morning afternoon and night.infact if anything happens within her environment the next thing is for her to call my wife and gossip about it. I felt concern as you are now and I thought of complaining to her as regard to that but I realized just as many people are talking here that it might feel because I don't have my family calling me the same way so I drew a plan I told my mom to be calling me everyday too morning afternoon and night even what she want to say is irrelevant she should call and we would talk at length on any topic that arise so when my wife start noticing this she first started calling me mummy boy I don't even do as if I heard her I make sure my mum keeps calling and there was a day it got into her that she had to tell me that would I just bring my mom to start living with us and I ask her why she feel threatens but she couldn't reply so you see when the table turns around the women will not tolerate it for long but here you are people making you feel maybe you have less love from your own parent. I rest my case and the ball is in your court op

Well it depends on reason why she is calling her and the kind of person her mom really is. If her mom has a good personality then is no reason to be worried. My own mother inlaw influenced my wife negatively to the level that any issues that i have with my wife, she would relate all to her mom. Even when my wife was cheating on me, her mom was aware and also accepting stuff from the man she was cheating on me with. Incase i had been proactive,i would have dealt with it from the beginning before it got worst. A responsible mother should know that when her daughter marries, there should be little interference but not all mothers know this and wheather you like it or not, mother inlaws have influence in your marriage either positively or negatively

Mide70:
calling her morning and evening of everyday? Don't you people know the meaning of marriage ?

the meaning of marriage is that she sold her daughter to you?

aestake:

How do you nip in the bud sth that has been on before they married?

I can see you're a weak male who doesn't know the meaning of authority

dotun4luv:


This dude will mislead this OP. See, my father calls me every morning before and after i got married.

Your fear is useless and unnecessary. Focus on what is important. She's just your wife and not your daughter.

Her mother still have dominion over her.

Because you her husband doesn't automatically make her and her parents enemy.

Just be good. Provide for your family. Do the need to her siblings.

Cos she s her daily should be your joy.

When your daughter is married you will know how much you want to make her happy the more.

DJ cuppy still hang around her father...

You're a simp. No wonder you look like trash

Personally, I see nothing wrong with it unless they are other things you're not saying. My mum can't stay a day without hearing from her children. Her call is just harmless or you can playfully ask your wife why her mum calls always.

OP your nyash dey outside o. Quit the sh!T. She is now your wife and must do your biddings. Who knows how many times dem done discuss the size of your gbola. Gosh, where is the masculinity in men? Open your eyes mahn! Like i said earlier, i will never marry a broke woman, never!

HE DO THAT AGAIN U PUNCH HIM ON THE LIPZ

Afodot0022:
Well it depends on reason why she is calling her and the kind of person her mom really is. If her mom has a good personality then is no reason to be worried. My own mother inlaw influenced my wife negatively to the level that any issues that i have with my wife, she would relate all to her mom. Even when my wife was cheating on me, her mom was aware and also accepting stuff from the man she was cheating on me with. Incase i had been proactive,i would have dealt with it from the beginning before it got worst. A responsible mother should know that when her daughter marries, there should be little interference but not all mothers know this and wheather you like it or not, mother inlaws have influence in your marriage either positively or negatively

except the cheating part, I have exactly the same experiences, hard luck bro

Danniedpastor:
Why are trying to fix what us not broken?
Except there is more that you are not telling us.
Leave them to continue.
Are they discussing about you in Negative light?
Is she controlling your wife?
Is the mother intruding in your affairs?


If no, why are you bothered?

You think those daily calls can continue without these things you listed creeping in? What would they be discussing DAILY?

Chizzychinny:
Personally, I see nothing wrong with it unless they are other things you're not saying. My mum can't stay a day without hearing from her children. Her call is just harmless or you can playfully ask your wife why her mum calls always.

dont you think you see nothing wrong becoz you are used to your mum's calling ?

Sometimes being in contact everyday doesnt make you grow to be your own person

ZIMDRILL:


dont you think you see nothing wrong becoz you are used to your mum's calling ?

Sometimes being in contact everyday doesnt make you grow to be your own person

I get your point. Well, It's individual differences, I hope that someday my husband won't have issues with it too.

Jashub:
I can see you're a weak male who doesn't know the meaning of authority

Nipping something in the bud means stopping something that is just starting. Which kind of people are these? Dead folks?

Mide70:
Please I need your opinion on this issue.

Though before I got married I discovered my mother inlaw calls all her daughters both married and unmarried everyday (only 3 ladies no boys) and they fear her to the bone.

At times every morning and night just to talk to them but I believe when they get married they need privacy and respect but this is not the case for my mother-in-law and I detest such act.

Mind you I'm not against call or trying to break the bond but I believe this is marriage. I'm looking for a way to stop all that

I'm I wrong or right to take that step ?

You better nip that stupid thought in the bud..what's wrong with her calling her daughter everyday..e dey scatter your marriage ni...she no come stay your house, she's just calling..what's wrong with that. My first child is a girl and she's in the university, I love my mother like crazy.... Same thing with my brother ex's mum..that woman will still silently pained till date that I and her hee daughter didn't end up and as husband and wife... These are good women...so if they're calling their daughters everyday why should I intervene and say No. When your marriage is having serious problems who u go run to first..oh I see your own mum abi? Kwantinu

MuslimMuslim:

You think those daily calls can continue without these things you listed creeping in? What would they be discussing DAILY?

My mother calls me everyday.
Should my wife be bothered?

Danniedpastor:

My mother calls me everyday.
Should my wife be bothered?

usually when you are part of it you dont see nothing wrong with it

so what do you talk about everyday with your mum ?

Most people dont feel comfortable becoz one might end up discus his:her partner. or being told how to run your marriage

Ezeego1:


The man will be labelled mummy's boy and the wife will start acting somehow. Now the table has changed and nobody is seeing the call as invasion of privacy again.

Hypocrites!!!

Most things a man can endure a woman can’t at all

Just discuss with your wife on the need for there mum to reduce the call rate, that's how some mother's are.

Adinije:
My husband speaks with his parents all the time and I don't have a problem with that. I speak with mine too and he too don't care.

Most not all. There is always an exception

Kankawormm:
I just got divorced some days back.. And this was one of the reasons.. There's nothing wrong in a mother calling her daughter.. But when it gets too much.. Some private matters would certainly be leaked as a result it too much talk or cos there's nothing more to say..

when you call your own mother don't you also divulge some "private" matter to her as well?

Imagine the misery, because she married, she is no longer to have an intimate conversation with her own mother? Even a psychiatrist, gets that privilege, na mother no go come get am again?;

haslaw:



The husband paid one bride price not two.

Did the husband tell you that he was marrying the daughter and the mother?

The mother should go and look for her own husband and leave her daughter's marriage alone

Ndi brideprice. Lol

He didn't want daughter and mother? Did he tell you that the mother was calling him. Abeg!!

Omo see reasoning.

aestake:

No sane person calls someone every day.

Mothers do. But it doesn’t make sense at all. But it’s loneliness

IamMobisola:

If it’s the guy’s mother, he definitely wouldn’t be complaining

But she would be complaining and that's alright?

Kobojunkie:
when you call your own mother don't you also divulge some "private" matter to her as well?

Imagine the misery, because she married, she is no longer to have an intimate conversation with her own mother? Even a psychiatrist, gets that privilege, na mother no go come get am again?;

Na me wear shoe.. Na me no where e d day pain me.. She goes to her mums place 3 times a week, calls her every morning speaking one edo language wey I no dey hear inside my matrimonial home, I just opened a chemical shop for her.. Anytime I come there to check up on her, her mum is always there.. So you see

Danniedpastor:

My mother calls me everyday.
Should my wife be bothered?

Yes, very well.
I am sure she is already, if what you said is true

My mum calls me everyday or almost everyday. She has done this long before I married. She just liked to check up on all her children especially when they are not near. Does not mean anything . She is her mum being your wife does not erase that.