Hi, first I want to thank you all for your advise the last time i was here.

The last time I brought up my problems here, I vented out about how my husband is being a total pain in the ass.

The problem is one, he's cheating on me with several girls and still want to have sex with me but i refused stating that until he does a full STD test we are not having sex, simply put i need to Know that he is STD free before we have sex again.

Two, he's never at home, sometimes for two weeks he stays in hostels with girls, partying and spending his money, at first i tried to understand him because we did marry young, i felt that maybe he misses having his Independence, so at first i said nothing until it got worse. I now feel like a single mom, i do everything, the children don't even know anything about their dad, they see him as a stranger now, he's always cool towards them and i don't like it, have told him several times that i want the children to bound with him, i need them to have a good relationship with their father and have even advised him to take them out, maybe to a theme park or anything really but he has refused stating that he's busy.

Thirdly he body shames me, telling me that i look like a clown, I'm fit, it's not like I'm dirty or anything i take care of myself, i know he's lying because i have admirers, like a lot of them, ever since i started making money and could afford to employ workers, i have done everything to make myself look good, i go to the gym, do facials and i make sure I look beautiful, honestly I don't know what's wrong with him.

I have come to the conclusion that he is only saying it to be mean to me, maybe as a means of control, honestly i think he thinks if he makes me feel less than i am, to make me think i have no where else to go.

Thirdly when we first got married, we both agreed that he will go to the university first then later, i will also attend, after finishing his university education he couldn't find a job so i gave him two of my lands to start a business, he because successful in the business and his now lavishing the money. I have a farming business, it's very successful, with it i have many lands and i built the home me and my husband live in, ever since he started making money i advised him to build his own house but he has refused, instead he bought a fancy car, i want to build an estate so that i can have another source for revenue but for one reason or other, my husband is advising me against it.

Now back to me wanting to attend the university, i want to study accounting so that i can take my business to a new level but my husband has refused saying that he wants more babies, we already have twins (two lovely girls). i told him later, after I finish my university degree and our girls are a little bit older, we will have more kids

Now back to the present day, have decided I'm kicking my husband out. Recently, I noticed he was always at home, I was happy but surprised, I thought he had changed. I decided we need to spend time together as a family, I was even planning on us going on a vacation, give my children a life I wasn't opportune to live, I talked to him about it, we made plans, he agreed to go for a full STD test. I was happy
little did I know that my so called husband has fathered another child outside our marriage, he told me this himself, saying all sorts of nonsense on how I should advise the girl to abort it so that we can be one big happy family, I just looked at him, I haven't said anything to him in days. But I have decided that I'm kicking him out. I want to do this in a way that it doesn't affect my children, I really want them to build a relationship with their dad but as for me I clocked out of this marriage a long time ago.

I was advised by my a friend to make a video while I kick him out but I'm not going to do, he's till the father of my child, and I don't want my children to grow up and find those videos
honestly I just need emotional support while I go through this divorce.

If I get you correctly, you said you need emotional support as you chase the father of your beautiful kids out of the house....

Alright, we will give you all the emotional support you need dear.

Wahala.
I wish all you wrote is true. If yes, then move on.
I would have advised you to make amendments, but with another child from a woman outside is a NO.

Move on dear. Enjoy life while it lasts.

Life2020:

thirdly he body shames me, telling me that i look like a clown, I'm fit, it's not like I'm dirty or anything i take care of myself,

little did I know that my so called husband has fathered another child outside our marriage, he told me this himself, saying all sorts of nonsense on how I should advise the girl to abort it so that we can be one big happy family


honestly I just need emotional support while I go through this divorce

1. You be worwor mgbeke
2. Thought you women claim to be good advisers?
3. You need a big prick to calm you down this period

DM me.

Make we hear your husband story too.....

You said you both got married at a tender age? Did you inherit those properties you claim to have, abi which kind work you dey do before you marry your husband...

That nigga got into that marriage because of your money.... If you kick him out, another nigga will come in and cash out massively... so pick your poison wisely

Abortion is evil, don't join him in that plot. Also, approach the issue from the spiritual angle, pray hard for God to change him as it could be spiritual attack on him. God will see you through this difficult time.

Chaii.. Maybe that man is a nairalander. They have nothing to offer than sex.

07kjb:
U bleached your skin and makes up now looking like a clown, that's the problem your husband has with you

I also know that the house u want to kick your husband out from u didn't build it singlehandedly

Lastly u can't kick him out na naija we dey o,no be yankee

I can't kick him out of a house I built with my own money, a land I brought in my own name

And please am a dark beauty, thank u very much
Hope u have a nice day

Wawelexy:
Make we hear your husband story too.....

You said you both got married at a tender age? Did you inherit those properties you claim to have, abi which kind work you dey do before you marry your husband...

That nigga got into that marriage because of your money.... If you kick him out, another nigga will come in and cash out massively... so pick your poison wisely

U are very wise
I thought about that and I have made up my mind that I'm not going to marry again, at least not till my girls are grown up.
I have heard stories about girls being sexually abused or even physical abused, I don't want my girls to grow up in that type of environment.
I might have a few date here and there but let's see because my girls will always be first.
Honestly I want to hear his side of the story because I'm honestly curious to hear his own side of the story.

Life2020:
I might have a few date here and there

Madam, just say you're looking for a brand new prick....

Life2020:


I can't kick him out of a house I built with my own money, a land I brought in my own name

And please am a dark beauty, thank u very much
Hope u have a nice day

Don't kick him out because u are seeing small change

A Single mother training two girls is just breeding them for oloshonism

U better make peace with your husband

[quote author=Life2020 post=118280932]
I now feel like a single mom, i do everything, the children don't even know anything about their dad, they see him as a stranger now, he's always cool towards them and i don't like it, have told him several times that i want the children to bound with him.
78% of young girls without the influence of their fathers always end up being WILD and unmarried cos their did not stay married to their dads.
Get his family people involve, let him sign an undertaking that such attitude repeat itself. Let him take the child and settle the mum.
It is obvious, he didnt truly love you but your money

author=Kooldon post=118282343]

"Let him take the child and settle the mum"....who would be taking care of the baby?

The truth is unless you decide to stay single , the men out there are worse. I didn’t see where he beats you or maltreat your besides body shaming which he does to cage you.
Your husband is a nice man, he seems lost .
Find a way to help him before kicking him out .
I am not supporting your husband but think deeply and you will understand what I mean.
You are doing well and it will be difficult to find a man that loves you , they will be there to comfort you and milk you then still cheat on you.
Open your eyes

Life2020:


U are very wise
I thought about that and I have made up my mind that I'm not going to marry again, at least not till my girls are grown up.
I have heard stories about girls being sexually abused or even physical abused, I don't want my girls to grow up in that type of environment.
I might have a few date here and there but let's see because my girls will always be first.
Honestly I want to hear his side of the story because I'm honestly curious to hear his own side of the story.

I remember your story then. The elders did not advise you to scatter your marriage then. We told you to insist on STD tests and ensure he is no longer cheating before you continue having unprotected sex with him.

From your new narrative, he had agreed to conduct STD tests, he had come back home. The pregnancy outside is a new thing now.

About the pregnancy, I think that happened before he decided to change and come back home. I want to say it's part of his mistakes while outside.

I know you are hurting to learn about this now but don't take a decision while under anger or emotion.

If he had truly changed from cheating, you people can start rebuilding your home.

The children suffer the most in a broken home. You even have girls. I can tell you most ladies raised by single mothers end up single mothers when they grow up. Think deeply about your children welfare now and in future before you use emotion to scatter your home.

Lastly, be careful of advise you take from your fellow women irrespective of their age or status because most of them will advise from emotional perspective or outrightly lie to you when they advise you.

Wetin sweet me well well for the whole gist na I want to build an Estate aspect...
Who says Nigerians no get money even after covid...Carry go dear

Issues for this life plenty o. Don't interfere in his escapades again. Let him do and undo himself.

PlayMaker14:




Madam, just say you're looking for a brand new prick....

And so what? Is it a crime? Didn't you read where she said the horseband has a child outside? Why the hell wouldn't she look for a brand new prick?

Seems like tales by moonlight but let's pretend this story is real, kindly fling his belongings out of your house,

He even had the guts to tell you to convince the side chick to abort her baby, wonders has ended, it's the disrespect and disregard for me.

RepoMan007:
Issues for this life plenty o. Don't interfere in his escapades again. Let him do and undo himself.

Escapade don turn to belle, husband wants wife to talk to sidechick about aborting the baby......the guy no well.

PlayMaker14:
If I get you correctly, you said you need emotional support as you chase the father of your beautiful kids out of the house....

Alright, we will give you all the emotional support you need dear.

Yes he needs to be chased out of HER house, e shock you ba, pele, no be only una no how to chase wife from house, the trend don dey start small small, best believe that there are so many female bread winners in naija who 100% owns the home their family live in, instead of men in that situation to be humble, they raise shoulder and behave evil, women are getting enlightened and it cuts across all aspects of marriage, the era of servitude and subjugation of women has ended.

Helpout12345:


I remember your story then. The elders did not advise you to scatter your marriage then. We told you to insist on STD tests and ensure he is no longer cheating before you continue having unprotected sex with him.

From your new narrative, he had agreed to conduct STD tests, he had come back home. The pregnancy outside is a new thing now.

About the pregnancy, I think that happened before he decided to change and come back home. I want to say it's part of his mistakes while outside.

I know you are hurting to learn about this now but don't take a decision while under anger or emotion.

If he had truly changed from cheating, you people can start rebuilding your home.

The children suffer the most in a broken home. You even have girls. I can tell you most ladies raised by single mothers end up single mothers when they grow up. Think deeply about your children welfare now and in future before you use emotion to scatter your home.

Lastly, be careful of advise you take from your fellow women irrespective of their age or status because most of them will advise from emotional perspective or outrightly lie to you when they advise you.

Omo, he didn't change, it's all pretence
I have made my decision and about me being a single mom, I'm used to it, what part of he is never around don't u get.
So because he came and spend little time with his own children, i should forgive him.
Some people are even advising me to pay the side chick off, for what. Please I'm not that desperate for a man.

My children don't even no him, they barely see him, for the past 6 years I have been alone, I can't remember the last time I felt loved in this marriage. I just want him to be present for his children, I don't know if I can get that in court, I'm down for shared custody, or multiple visitation dates.

I can't continue to beg for a man affection, I don't want my daughters to think this is how a woman should be treated.
I need to set an example for them, I love my children, if he had been present for them, maybe I would have changed my mind and not divorce him for the sake of my children but nop he's never there.
What ever he wants to do with his side chick pregnancy is his business.
If he wants to marry her, I will happy support the marriage like I said I clocked out of this marriage Months ago

Begging a man for affection, some people are saying I should check myself, I really need to check myself for tolerating him.

Yes kick him out.
There is no peace without war.

However it turns out. Make sure you won't regret it else then settle for dialogue. If you choosing the later option then make sure he won't marry the pregnant lady.
Do ask him the reason why he cheated and make amends. Sometimes women make the home too hot for men that they rather choose to hang out at the bar after work... They meet other girls there and the rest is history.
Check yourself too woman, if you nag or do something else to make him uncomfortable then stop it else the next man will won't want it too.


Goodluck

Tayorshd2:


God bless you cos some women too are coarsive at home and that's why I think or fell like we need to hear from the side story of the kan too ..

So we can have a good conclusion on this matter

God bless you too brother.
Yep you right. I don't wanna believe any man won't stay away from his family for no just reason. . .
There is more to it and that is why I told her to check herself too... But you know how the truth is bitter and how people can hardly face and scrutinize themselves.
No one is perfect and my point is not to excuse her husband that break his Marital vows impregnating another woman.

She is free to make her choice and live by it.

Pointless emotions isn't needed in her case but logical reasoning.

Life2020:


Omo, he didn't change, it's all pretence
I have made my decision and about me being a single mom, I'm used to it, what part of he is never around don't u get.
So because he came and spend little time with his own children, i should forgive him.
Some people are even advising me to pay the side chick off, for what. Please I'm not that de

If you are sure he is just pretending to change. Then do what you think it's best for you.

Good luck.

The story is too disjointed....kinda like the Eleshin Oba movie. It was too here and there, I lost touch fa .

Anyways, sebi na abroad una dey, na there them dey chase husband for house o.

Meanwhile,my friend too is a script writer o, she writes really good well tied stories sha

Mindlog:


Escapade don turn to belle, husband wants wife to talk to sidechick about aborting the baby......the guy no well.

Obviously he is deadbeat dad looking to explore a rich woman's weakness and will go back to his ways soon. OP should ignore him like he doesn't exist. Let him use some of the money he uses to impress girls to support the child.

Jovialjune1:



Yes he needs to be chased out of HER house, e shock you ba, pele, no be only una no how to chase wife from house, the trend don dey start small, best believe that there are so many female bread winners in naija who 100% owns the home their family live in, instead of men in that situation to be humble, they raise shoulder and behave anyhow, women are getting enlightened and it cuts across all aspects of marriage, the era of servitude and subjugation of women has ended.

Twice did you quote me with a lot of anger.... Hope everything is okay?

Magnoliaa, please help me out here before dem kee me troway.

Life2020:


U are very wise
I thought about that and I have made up my mind that I'm not going to marry again, at least not till my girls are grown up.
I have heard stories about girls being sexually abused or even physical abused, I don't want my girls to grow up in that type of environment.
I might have a few date here and there but let's see because my girls will always be first.
Honestly I want to hear his side of the story because I'm honestly curious to hear his own side of the story.

Are u sure u can do the bold?
It is not as easy as u think
Going by ur write up, u guys were young & really had nothing when he married u, saying he got married to u because of money is out of it.

PlayMaker14:
Twice did you quote me with a lot of anger.... Hope everything is okay?

Magnoliaa, please help me out here before dem kee me troway.

Not anger, just trying to express myself.