He lost his job, he wakes up eat and goes back to sleep... He gambles, he is lazy, he said he has a plan but you know he doesn't... You want to divorce him... But tomorrow if he hit it big and start balling, you will want to come back... You are only happy when he his balling, as soon as he hit ground zero, I want to leave...

Is his gbola functioning or not?

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

You are deceiving yourself. Your husband will bounce back...and you will regret your action...I lost my job for almost 2years. I'm back on my feet..

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

The bolded cracked me up.

Your husband has been providing without complaining. Now that he has a little setback, you are already talking of divorce. Embrace Equality my foot.

Dis is exactly my story, though I was caring to my wife and child till wen I lost my job to gambling...I will always respect and my wife till death,I have never seen a woman as strong as her, she stood by me ND cater for the home for good four years,before I got anoda job.ahe never complained,but pray,advice and believe I can rise again. U can do dsame...ur husband is not been lazy,but frustrated and depressed.

all4zionlover:
If I should remembered his treatment when he had a job earning salaries, all through my pregnancy, paying bills and all that then, I deserve to kill him. He has never been a caring husband and father to his children.

He has no past good record that can make me think backward and support a jobless husband.

He has no good record yet you chose to have two kids with him. Do not throw out the baby with the bath water.

My advice is you listen to what he has in mind. You don't nag him on what he plans to do as that wouldn't make him open up. Been supportive when a spouse is down requires understanding that shows that one is willing to hold hands with the down partner and walk the journey.

He's lost all to gambling, you don't need to rub that in. Suggest mental rehabilitation as a means for recovery and you could go to his sessions with him. You could also ask him in a polite way to join you in the business as a means to keep him occupied.

However, seems your mind is made up from your responses thus, you could do that which pleases you.

It's not a ground for divorce. Separation, maybe, if the man has refused to do anything after the wife has tried everything she can.

But a man like that is probably frustrated and not comfortable about his current state. He needs therapy and counseling to get through whatever is eating him up.

shineeye1:


The evil you wish another woman's son is coming to you...

Zero strength for uncalled banters this night.

Cheers bye!

jaxxy:
■ a wife is a help mate meaning she helps when help is needed. Complaining and nagging about a problem isn't help. it is stress.

Marriage is an agreement between a man and a woman. Sensibly, husband and wife are meant to share responsibilities but in hypogamy, the man typically trades that benefit off in order to sit as a god in the relationship. When he fails in his part of the agreement, the agreement itself is violated.

Kobojunkie:
She can book him a session but does he even accept that the problem is real?

That can't be judged from the account put out of him lying under the AC.

Or have we drawn this inference from that "accusation"?

Mindlog:


It is not in her place to book him a session, he has book it himself.

If you say so, I guess she's of no relevance to him again then. So she can move on.

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

Very selfish gender, you think you’re hurting more than he is
You think he doesn’t realize he has kids to cater for
What have you done to help his situation? Have you asked him what his plans are? Have helped search a job for him? but oh no you want to put him in a more depressed state than he is already, a misery


Very very selfish gender
I can’t believe I use to like this gender

Kobojunkie:
Marriage is an agreement between a man and a woman. Typically husband and wife are meant to share responsibilities but in hypogamy, the man typically trades that benefit off in order to sit as a god in the relationship. When he fails in his part of the agreement, the agreement itself is violated.

and which church married them according to hypogamy? or which hypogamy documents did he sign and assume god role in the family?

creatorsverse:


Listen carefully my sister your husband is battling serious depression...I'm telling you this as a former gambler... There are things you need to look out for first... You have to check if he's still gambling or the gambling spirit is still in him... What you will have to do first is to trust him with a little cash of say 50-100k tell him you are giving it to him to buy new clothes and new shoes.... If he buys the new clothes and shoes, check the actually value if it's up to 80% or more of the money you gave to him, if it is then you're safe all he needs is just encouragement that it is never too late to start over again.. but if he doesn't buy the clothes and shoes you asked him to buy, then you really need to find a way to contact me I can help him pull through the gambling problem... Its never an easy task.. I know what I've lost to gambling but finally recovering all thanks to God




Note: the money you will give to him mustn't be for clothes and shoes but just look for what he really needs and give him the money to get them... You have to act fast before he starts selling the property he has at home and elsewhere

He still gambles. I don't need to go all that far to know.

Gloriagee:
Wat does she lose, Mr. Mama I no fit lie you?

was he a loving and caring father and husband before the incident? When he comes out of the woods, maybe another woman will be there to enjoy him.

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

YES it is enough reason to tie him to the electric pole and shoot him dead.

When a man carries the family responsibilities for 100 years, nobody will hear. But, when a woman carries the responsibilities for one week, CNN, BBC, Aljazeera will all hear.

We the serial fornicators and unrepentant adulterers are waiting for you outside. We will give you good dicck and lots of sexually transmitted disease.

@ OP.
I perceive, you have already made up your mind to leave your husband you are just here to validate your thought.

Let me tell you this, the advises you are getting here are majorly from singles, anti-marriage people or evening newspapers who has never been in your shoes to know where it pinches.

Presently, it is very possible that your husband is in a depress state due to excessive loss and your constant nagging. The only way for him to survive is you for now. You need to show him love to turn things around in his life. Let share an experience of one Igbo woman with you.
The woman sells food and husband does nothing than to play baba ijebu after his bus got damaged and he lost the proceed of the bus to gambling. Mind you they have 6 grown up children to cater for, the man added to the woman's liability, but she endured. She was able to set up another business for the husband and he is doing well, and he is playing role little by little for now

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

I'm so ashamed of you right now. You come out here mocking your husband and humiliating your husband,the father of your kids, threatening to abandon him and your marriage simply because he lost his job and can't afford to take care of his family currently.

Madam, I dare you to abandon your marriage and live to regret it, for the rest of your life.
That man will rise again! Mark it somewhere. But your actions now will determine your marriage afterwards.

I still believe that man you are humiliating will rise again. I have more faith in him than you Madam.

The choice is yours! A word is enough for the wise. It's better to be a wife that stepped in and stood for her husband in his trying times, than a wife that abandoned him.

This is my humble advice.

Be wise!

Mindlog:


Swear bible?

You clearly have no idea what gambling addiction is!

I know people that stopped gambling after swearing with Bible or Quran.The fear of curse putting on themselves with the holy book scare them from doing it again. When I was in school, four of my friends had to swear and they stopped. I refused to swear but telling you have lost over 5m to gambling. I work without having anything to show for it.Gambling kills.

Zihno:


Times have changed. Arguing with the Bible doesn’t make sense in this case. The OPs marriage wasn’t most likely based on the Bible. Even the Bible encourages men to drag non virgin women to their fathers house and stone them to death.

A woman can provide while the man takes care of the home.

Shebi same Bible said that we should flee from pre marital sex , I guess fleeing from it will make more ladies to be a virgin till marriage , hope your gender will let ladies be .

If a woman should provide for the family, whilst the man sit at home , then such man should be ready to be a full time house boy and do his wife's biddings.

If he lost his job on a neutral ground, that's a different case but gambling, na mumu dey worry am . He should not stand up and go and look for factory job to do before he will see a white collar job.

jaxxy:
and which church married them according to hypogamy? or which hypogamy documents did he sign and assume god role in the family?

Which kain yeye questions you dey ask so? Wetin concern church with this topic? Na documents you dey use choose wife?

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

not enough reason to divorce him

Wake him up at night
Give him enough sex and then have a heart 2 heart conversation with him

Fuckyoumod:
I'm so ashamed of you right now. You come out here mocking your husband and humiliating your husband,the father of your kids, threatening to abandon him and your marriage simply because he lost his job and can't afford to take care of his family currently.

Madam, I dare you to abandon your marriage and live to regret it, for the rest of your life.
That man will rise again! Mark it somewhere. But your actions now will determine your marriage afterwards.

I still believe that man you are humiliating will rise again. I have more faith in him than you Madam.

The choice is yours! A word is enough for the wise. It's better to be a wife that stepped in and stood for her husband in his trying times, than a wife that abandoned him.

This is my humble advice.

See, I want to bet you.

WHy are you spoiling our show nah. We the unrepentant fornicators and adulterers are waiting for her outside to give her good diccks and plenty STDs

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.


Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

You married an irresponsible man. A man-woman. Carry your cross cos there's nothing you can do to change him, just manage the situation and be thankful to God that he helps with house chores.

No responsible man gambles. Let alone one with family responsibility.

Does he still have a strong enough erection to fvck you?

If he still does, then ask him to go get a job and stop giving him food and kpekus.

gaby:
A very dicey and tricky situation to be caught up in, I must tell you.

I pray you to find the wisdom to handle this and come out good in the end.

He helps out in the house with chores, right?

Be vigilant and open-minded.

If he's someone you can smell any whiff of potential in, keep pushing and encouraging him.

His understanding of hustling or "going out to make money" as you submitted might be different from yours.

We all will face downtime in life at some point but not giving up or in will ultimately form the key at the end.

Most men like yours, you disengage from them and within a year, you'd be regretting why and how you lost out at the "almost" hour.

Be wise and keep strong.

Tough times are, but temporary to help us see, and understand our immediate environment plus those around us.

The most important all is to get him immediate help with his gambling addiction.

OP, pls take note of this good advice.

Luckysbab:
That can't be judged from the account put out of him lying under the AC. Or have we drawn this inference from that "accusation"?

I don't follow!

Elidrisy20:
Is his gbola functioning or not?

Exactly a point! The IDIOOOOTT did not even complain about the gbola. Apparently, the dude has deliberately kept a calm mind in this trying time, all in order to keep gbola fit for purpose for the bitch, yet the fatal ingrate will not be appeased. Divorce nah. EWOBI!!!

Is a tricky situation though, he might be making plans to get new job and he can do that through calls not necessary he goes out.

But it depends how long he has been at home and you must remember work is not easy to come by.

You can ask him what is his next step since he lost his job but with a nice tone.

all4zionlover:
His money before have always go into gambling.
I have tried several time to save some with me, but he didn't. By now, we would have been on the street begging and suffering if not the fact that I have been hard working on my little business. Put money in my business let it grow, he will not. Come to church and be worshipping so God can help, he will say he's not in the mood. Now, he has nothing and he's not planning on other things.

my dear don’t mind people advising you on rubbish to change him or orientate him or Waheva
They don’t know nada
I have known Someone who was like a father figure and ended his life gambling
He made bastard money, he will then gamble it away and end up selling all the properties he used the money to purchase till the extent he will almost sell the tiles used in their home
He gambled even the properties he had in Nigeria and outside
His son who happens to be a good friend of mine always curses the man even as the man is in the grave
It was that bad….
Is this the life you want for your children??
God forbid
Funny enough people like this have tendency of going into big illegal stuff like robbery, drugs etc to get quick money cos they don’t have patience to start life afresh and hustle like a real man !
It’s well with your soul!
It’s possible you give him sometime to change with prayers and intervention of close family if need be…
If you wait and don’t see anything positive
Pls carry your kaya wiv your kids and leave, you’re better off a single parent than with a liability!!

emiika:


many reasons if you care to know, you mean she should divorce him and marry another man that is more worse than the husband they’ve been sharing things together, yoi people don’t know anything, better make she dey manage her man than go remarry person wey go kill her, which good man dey outside now

If that is the case
She is not divorcing to marry another man

Its not a rocket science

Probably she wants to breath fresh air as she dey choke for the marriage