"I recently snooped in my wife’s phone and discovered dozens of texts to her co-workers and some of our mutual friends — all saying awful things about me and airing petty grievances from our personal life. Among the topics of the texts was my unemployment. I recently gave up my nearly 10-year successful career in real estate to move to a new city and state so our daughter can go to a better school. I haven’t figured out my next move yet, but I’ve been actively applying and interviewing for jobs. I’ve received multiple offers, but none have been the right fit. My wife’s texts portray me as a deadbeat loser, and she questions why she’s stayed with me, lamenting what a burden it has been for her. I’ll note that our mortgage and our mutual bills have been paid for the last six months from the proceeds of selling our house when we moved, so my unemployment has caused her zero financial burden. I can’t get past the things she said and the betrayal I feel, and I am considering asking for a separation. But I am scared to bring it up because of the invasion of her privacy that led to me discovering the text messages. What is the ethical path forward?"

Kanyamatta dey strong

Xxxxtentacion2:
Kanyamatta dey strong

Strong more than Aso rock lies

focus on yourself and stop checking her phone. if you have too much time on your hands then i think you need a side chick so you will spend more time thinking of how to hide her from your wife than checking her phone.

I would advice you on two options. Take the one wey go pay you.
1.Let her be and behave as if you don't know anything.Move on and keep looking for your suitable job offer.
2.Get or pretend you have a side chick and make it clear for her to see.You will see how see will know your value because she won't want to lose you but if she doesn't care you have a side chick then forget it.You are the only person in that marriage, you have not gotten a wife yet bro

Solofresh2:
I would advice you on two options. Take the one wey go pay you.
1.Let her be and behave as if you don't know anything.Move on and keep looking for your suitable job offer.
2.Get or pretend you have a side chick and make it clear for her to see.You will see how see will know your value because she won't want to lose you but if she doesn't care you have a side chick then forget it.You are the only person in that marriage, you have not gotten a wife yet bro

Best advice so far

Now you know the real person you are married to. Let me hold my peace.

What a move ....

Sold your house to settle some months bills.....

Left your striving business cos u wanted to change ur daughter's school.

While u were busy thinking of others, u forgot about yourself.

Better days ahead oo

Foodqueen:
What a move ....

Sold your house to settle some months bills.....

Left your striving business cos u wanted to change ur daughter's school.

While u were busy thinking of others, u forgot about yourself.

Better days ahead oo

This!!!

This is very serious my brother I mean serious serious don’t even let it slide. This is how it starts trust me I am a woman I know, from calling you a loser she will start sleeping with other men behind your back because she got 0 respect for you.

This is serious disrespect on such level should not be tolerated, if a woman has the guts to disrespect you publicly like this even to her own friends then she don’t have your interest at heart and she’s capable of sleeping with other men behind your back with zero remorse because she takes you for a fool. Be very careful because one thing about women is that even if they have the worse man or relationship they always want outsiders and especially their friends to think they have got something amazing but for this your wife to actually be blantly disrespecting you like this then somethings up, if you have kids together I suggest you get a DNA test you can’t trust such woman. I have seen similar case like this play out in real life and the child was not for the man, she used to actually called the man stupid with her then lover as well behind his back.


You creeping behind her should be the less of your concern for now, this needs to be addressed with her asap and this even call for a separation if something better don’t come out of it, this is not a wife for you Sir, your wife should first and foremost respect you and highly regard you even to her family members. She should hide your dirty linens from the public.

The kind of life partner you married will determines the kind of life you live and how your children are raised, many men failed terribly in choosing a good partner for a life partner, many choose a great body and a pretty face only forgetting that a great body will change and a pretty face will get old but a good woman will always be a good woman.

No one’s says you shouldn’t get a woman with a great body and pretty face but make sure she has a great character it is rare but they exist.

why did you sell your house only to start all over again

who do you this thing

God go help you

I don't get how some pple will just come online to ask questions they already have answers to. What's the big deal in invading the privacy of the person u call ur wife? Shud there even be privacies between married couples? If i eventually get married there r things i think i won't be able to stomach frm my wife nd ur case is one of them. But on the other hand who resigns frm a high paying job just because of a flimsy reason like urs? Maybe u're truly a deadbeat

Invading your spouses privacy is a HUGE deal. If you need to do that, where's the trust? You're violating trust in the relationship. Just like cheating. Can't have a relationship without trust, so what's the point? May as well just end it before you stoop to snooping. My advice would be not to tell the wife that he went through her phone and just end it. There's no respect or trust there and you gotta have both for a healthy marriage.

Foodqueen:
What a move ....

Sold your house to settle some months bills.....

Left your striving business cos u wanted to change ur daughter's school.

While u were busy thinking of others, u forgot about yourself.

Better days ahead oo

Azzinnnn… 😟

The person asking him to ignore or move on; it’s really going to be hard, as Op was only trying to be a good husband and great father.

Cocoon8:
Invading your spouses privacy is a HUGE deal. If you need to do that, where's the trust? You're violating trust in the relationship. Just like cheating. Can't have a relationship without trust, so what's the point? May as well just end it before you stoop to snooping. My advice would be not to tell the wife that he went through her phone and just end it. There's no respect or trust there and you gotta have both for a healthy marriage.

No, it is not. I don't see why a married couple should not have access to each other's phones.

THATS WOMEN FOR YOU,
WHEN YOU ARE SWIMMING TOGETHER IN AFFLUENCE SHE IS ALL SMILES AND LOVEY,BUT
IMMEDIATELY YOU HAVE A SETBACK,ALL YU DID FOR HER VERNISHES IN A FLASH. SHE SEES YU INSIDE HER AS LOWLIFE.
It happened to me to point i also sold all my cars,but by God'$ Powerful Hands I bounced back so well to her amazement, my wife became ashamed and distance herself from gossip partners.
YOU TOO SHOULD PLAN SECRETLY TO PROVE TO HER YOU ARE NOT A LOSER. NEVER GIVER UP.

You quit job because of what, you're really a deadbeat loser, divorce your wife and move on, stupid SIMP

Just near similar scenario experienced
THATS WOMEN FOR YOU,
WHEN YOU ARE SWIMMING TOGETHER IN AFFLUENCE SHE IS ALL SMILES AND LOVEY,BUT
IMMEDIATELY YOU HAVE A SETBACK,ALL YU DID FOR HER VERNISHES IN A FLASH. SHE SEES YU INSIDE HER AS LOWLIFE.
It happened to me to point i also sold all my cars,but by God'$ Powerful Hands I bounced back so well to her amazement, my wife became ashamed and distance herself from gossip partners.Wrong use of Social media is damagin marriages,excepts the marriages With God in Center.
YOU TOO SHOULD PLAN SECRETLY TO PROVE TO HER YOU ARE NOT A LOSER. DONT LET YA KIDS SUFFER,NEVER GIVE UP.

Tell her friends she is thoughtless and irresponsible. It's an eye for an eye.

Kanixt:
"I recently snooped in my wife’s phone and discovered dozens of texts to her co-workers and some of our mutual friends — all saying awful things about me and airing petty grievances from our personal life. Among the topics of the texts was my unemployment. I recently gave up my nearly 10-year successful career in real estate to move to a new city and state so our daughter can go to a better school. I haven’t figured out my next move yet, but I’ve been actively applying and interviewing for jobs. I’ve received multiple offers, but none have been the right fit. My wife’s texts portray me as a deadbeat loser, and she questions why she’s stayed with me, lamenting what a burden it has been for her. I’ll note that our mortgage and our mutual bills have been paid for the last six months from the proceeds of selling our house when we moved, so my unemployment has caused her zero financial burden. I can’t get past the things she said and the betrayal I feel, and I am considering asking for a separation. But I am scared to bring it up because of the invasion of her privacy that led to me discovering the text messages What is the ethical path forward?"

Feminine men just plenty for this generation sha. What's this @bolded? He's even asking for ethical solution. No be everything gentleman-liness fit solve

Foodqueen:
What a move ....

Sold your house to settle some months bills.....

Left your striving business cos u wanted to change ur daughter's school.

While u were busy thinking of others, u forgot about yourself.

Better days ahead oo

From deduction, he did those stuffs for 'Japa' but was only trying not to state it in his story.

chinae:

From deduction, he did those stuffs for 'Japa' but was only trying not to state it in his story.

You have clarified those stuff he did for me.

I was trying to understand it but it was not making sense to me.

Zyxsc:


Feminine men just plenty for this generation sha. What's this @bolded? He's even asking for ethical solution. No be everything gentleman-liness fit solve

It may be a crime abroad not necessarily that he's a feminine man.

Ah, when you won't let her open her mouth and tell you how she feels honestly. Every time a woman tries to say her mind it is tagged as disrespect, she's a bad woman etc.

Enjoy your self made hypocrite. Shebi you want only respect and never truth.

you are worried you checked her phone, when you should be thinking of running DNA for that same daughter you wanted to give a good life and education, and eventually seperate from that woman, because even the girl is urs, the woman isnt so let her go asap and have less burden

Lol.....sold your properties to give a better life to your family (wife and daughter)...now the same wife is mocking you.....she already perceived the move as a miscalculation and if things did not come back to normal on time, your marriage is as good as gone (she is done with your ass). that's woman for you..... A french proverb says and I quote "women's words are written on an ice".


How did you get to trust your wife to take this kind of huge risk......I guess you think she's your support pillar pending when you'll able to sort yourself out...... Alas you're wrong.....she will dump your sorry ass and still feel she did the right thing by leaving a sinking ship while she can...... after all, she has her own money....lol she can takes care of herself.....

Fact about marriage is........as a married man.....the survival of your marriage is solely depends on you (husband)...never take unnecessary risk...that will give room for see finish....your wife would rather wing swing instead of sticking with you when things are down......no matter her financial status.


As a leader of a team..... don't ever get yourself overwhelmed with situations.......if you're, your team will be at disadvantage.....pay no mind to fantasy of women.... claiming they can hold ground when you're weak and vulnerable.....it is a lie........ they'll look for an alternative/additional support (a man).

now that you know fully well the type of animal you have (and how "it" feels about you)....no need for an excuse to divorce her. the minute you say you are done with that marriage, she will probably start celebrating.

Kanixt:
"I recently snooped in my wife’s phone and discovered dozens of texts to her co-workers and some of our mutual friends — all saying awful things about me and airing petty grievances from our personal life. Among the topics of the texts was my unemployment. I recently gave up my nearly 10-year successful career in real estate to move to a new city and state so our daughter can go to a better school. I haven’t figured out my next move yet, but I’ve been actively applying and interviewing for jobs. I’ve received multiple offers, but none have been the right fit. My wife’s texts portray me as a deadbeat loser, and she questions why she’s stayed with me, lamenting what a burden it has been for her. I’ll note that our mortgage and our mutual bills have been paid for the last six months from the proceeds of selling our house when we moved, so my unemployment has caused her zero financial burden. I can’t get past the things she said and the betrayal I feel, and I am considering asking for a separation. But I am scared to bring it up because of the invasion of her privacy that led to me discovering the text messages. What is the ethical path forward?"

listen to yourself you quit your job for your daughter to have a better school. You can get a better school in the place you were working? Everything your wife said about you is correct

Kanixt:
"I recently snooped in my wife’s phone and discovered dozens of texts to her co-workers and some of our mutual friends — all saying awful things about me and airing petty grievances from our personal life. Among the topics of the texts was my unemployment. I recently gave up my nearly 10-year successful career in real estate to move to a new city and state so our daughter can go to a better school. I haven’t figured out my next move yet, but I’ve been actively applying and interviewing for jobs. I’ve received multiple offers, but none have been the right fit. My wife’s texts portray me as a deadbeat loser, and she questions why she’s stayed with me, lamenting what a burden it has been for her. I’ll note that our mortgage and our mutual bills have been paid for the last six months from the proceeds of selling our house when we moved, so my unemployment has caused her zero financial burden. I can’t get past the things she said and the betrayal I feel, and I am considering asking for a separation. But I am scared to bring it up because of the invasion of her privacy that led to me discovering the text messages. What is the ethical path forward?"

Make sure you have the screenshot of those messages sent to your phone as evidence.

It doesn't matter where and how you got the info but wether they are true or not. So, stand for yourself and do what please you in this matter.

Nawa ooo

Kanixt:
"I recently snooped in my wife’s phone and discovered dozens of texts to her co-workers and some of our mutual friends — all saying awful things about me and airing petty grievances from our personal life. Among the topics of the texts was my unemployment. I recently gave up my nearly 10-year successful career in real estate to move to a new city and state so our daughter can go to a better school. I haven’t figured out my next move yet, but I’ve been actively applying and interviewing for jobs. I’ve received multiple offers, but none have been the right fit. My wife’s texts portray me as a deadbeat loser, and she questions why she’s stayed with me, lamenting what a burden it has been for her. I’ll note that our mortgage and our mutual bills have been paid for the last six months from the proceeds of selling our house when we moved, so my unemployment has caused her zero financial burden. I can’t get past the things she said and the betrayal I feel, and I am considering asking for a separation. But I am scared to bring it up because of the invasion of her privacy that led to me discovering the text messages. What is the ethical path forward?"

You are not so smart if truly you resigned and sold your house so your daughter can go to a school in another town

I mean how do you intend funding the child school when you are out of job, when you daughter get into higher institution will you resign and follow her as daughter daddy or what

If truly you left all you have because of one child school then I give up on your case

There may be other reasons you resign please tell us before I judge you finish