CuriousStudent:
A fictional tale to shame women. Imagine catering for four kids and a bedridden man at the age of 26( when your mates are going from dates to dates and partying)

This should be the duty of a woman in her 50s whereby haven enjoyed the protection and provision of a man for decades, repays him by nursing him and taking care of him when ill health arises but not a young lady at 26.
So try to see things from the mother perspective.

Men walk out of their families and abandon their wives with kids if they feel overwhelmed or for their peace of mind,so why should this be different?

The lady in question can drop the man temporarily with his relations and give her kids to her parents then go Abroad. While abroad she can be sending money for the upkeep of her kids and husband till she can bring the kids over. The man should remain in naija while the wife hires a nurse and sends up keep

till he is stable enough before he can join them over

CuriousStudent:

I am female.
Answer simple question.

If you were a man,just starting life and your wife has an accident that makes her permanently bedridden. You will have to bathe her,clean her poo,bathe and care for four kids,cook,clean,wash,and still go to work,infact you are doing the duties of both husband and wife. Will you take up this new way of life while your mate are clubbing,partying and women changing or you will return her to her parents and drop your kids with relatives while sending money to both of wife and kids.

Yes or no?( No long talk,just yes or no)

Sangoamadioha1:



In any situation I find myself in i try to be compassionate. If I'm her mother i would tell her it is for better and for worse. Who knows if where she is going would be worse for her.
Like i said, put yourself in the other person's shoes and if you are comfortable with your actions, enjoy.

Mountbatten:
Men, this is why you do NOT marry an uneducated and unqualified liability.

He provided for her all his able days till he suffered an unfortunate accident. The moment he could no longer provide, he became dispensable in the eyes of his mother-in-law and wife.

“Easily re-marry” lol! Good luck finding any man who will take you and your 4 spawns. Send her abroad to go do what exactly? What skills has she got to survive there? How would she explain leaving her 4 kids with her disabled husband to the embassy?

There's too many stupid people on this forum, it's unbelievable.

Mindlog:
At 26 with 4 children, no tertiary education nor vocational skills and now saddled with a husband who struggles with disability....long days ahead.

Mindlog:


You are right.

If you visit psychiatric hospitals in Nigeria and go to the male wards, you are more likely to see married women during visiting hours with their admitted husbands but go to the female wards, very insignificant number of men visit their wives who have been admitted there. For most men, getting the wife admitted is the best they can do and visit few times and disappear from the scene, abandoning her to her birth family to take care of.

jmoore:
She is 26 years plus, has 4 kids already.

Her husband has been working and providing for the family until he had an accident which affected his waist. The company stopped him from working because it affected his mobility and productivity.

She reached out to her mother for capital so she can start a business. The mother refused to help her. She gave him a condition that she should leave the marriage and she will sponsor her to travel abroad.

The mother told her that she is too young to suffer in that marriage, that she can easily remarry.

jmoore:
She is 26 years plus, has 4 kids already.

Her husband has been working and providing for the family until he had an accident which affected his waist. The company stopped him from working because it affected his mobility and productivity.

She reached out to her mother for capital so she can start a business. The mother refused to help her. She gave him a condition that she should leave the marriage and she will sponsor her to travel abroad.

The mother told her that she is too young to suffer in that marriage, that she can easily remarry.

DeepSight:


It doesn't seem to me you have really put yourself in her mother's shoes. You are just saying you have. But you haven't. Your thoughts are only and fully with the man on this.

As I said. Personally I would even feel bad being a lifetime burden to such a young person especially with four children. It would be deeply selfish not to free her. Deeply selfish. I don't know what man would feel good watching her spend the rest of her life taking care of him and the children when her life has barely begun.

SparklingWindow:
don't get too emotional. What if the story is a joke

YorubaRonu01:
You guys should put many factors together before judging this, if a man leaves all he's doing and stays in that hospital, who will hussle for money and fend for the wife and kids? Abi make he stop work and start begging
Considering scenario that many Nigerian women don't work, why won't they be free?
If your wife is working and such happens, will you ever ask her to stop working and start staying in the hospital with you
If she stops, who will pay the bills while you're bedridden
These things are peculiar, stop being overly judgemental on it!
If I am working, I wont be there with her instead I will hire a care-giver and visit her everyday while we communicate closely on the phone, same thing with her, let her not come and stay with me, she can hire someone and go her daily work while we communicate.
Except if either of us doesn't work, then there's no need to hire any care-giver!!

Bottom line: Someone must pay the bills, we can't all fold our hands and be in the hospital and maybe depend on "Abeg" from relations.

This woke generation reasons unreasonably!!

fyzaila:



In as much as this advice is very brutal but this is the truth if we want to face reality. Some men are very callous and won't think twice bringing in a second wife if it was the reverse. If the lady in question can read this your advice, it would be better for her. She's too young to be overburdened when there is a way out for her. Some of her mates are still sampling men here she is at 26 with 4 kids already. Haba mana

CuriousStudent:
A fictional tale to shame women. Imagine catering for four kids and a bedridden man at the age of 26( when your mates are going from dates to dates and partying)

This should be the duty of a woman in her 50s whereby haven enjoyed the protection and provision of a man for decades, repays him by nursing him and taking care of him when ill health arises but not a young lady at 26.
So try to see things from the mother perspective.

Men walk out of their families and abandon their wives with kids if they feel overwhelmed or for their peace of mind,so why should this be different?

The lady in question can drop the man temporarily with his relations and give her kids to her parents then go Abroad. While abroad she can be sending money for the upkeep of her kids and husband till she can bring the kids over. The man should remain in naija while the wife hires a nurse and sends up keep till he is stable enough before he can join them over

MrsTwrite:
Wicked mother!

This matter tie wrapper

Komo4JESUS:
[From ur comment,you must be a home breaker..imagine the trash u dropped here forgetting that the man had an accident and he's unfit physically to carter for his family as usual just be in the man's shoe Nonsence..[quote author=CuriousStudent post=124953167]A fictional tale to shame women. Imagine catering for four kids and a bedridden man at the age of 26( when your mates are going from dates to dates and partying)

This should be the duty of a woman in her 50s whereby haven enjoyed the protection and provision of a man for decades, repays him by nursing him and taking care of him when ill health arises but not a young lady at 26.
So try to see things from the mother perspective.

Men walk out of their families and abandon their wives with kids if they feel overwhelmed or for their peace of mind,so why should this be different?

The lady in question can drop the man temporarily with his relations and give her kids to her parents then go Abroad. While abroad she can be sending money for the upkeep of her kids and husband till she can bring the kids over. The man should remain in naija while the wife hires a nurse and sends up keep till he is stable enough before he can join them over

CuriousStudent:

Most men not some men.90% of men will return her to her father's house and be visiting and sending money.

CuriousStudent:

If it is a man just building and starting his life in his early 30s who has a wife with an illness that will keep her bedridden and unable to fufil her duties as wife (including sex), will he continue to cater for her and the kids,(shuffling from work to returning home to do domestic chores plus no sex) or he will drop the kids with his relatives and wife with her parents whilst sending money to his kids?

CuriousStudent:

Read the full story,she will marry abroad not in naija . Only naija bred men hold prejudice towards divorcees.

Day by day women walk into their second or sometimes third marriage abroad with kids, not here in naija

CuriousStudent:

I am female.
Answer simple question.

If you were a man,just starting life and your wife has an accident that makes her permanently bedridden. You will have to bathe her,clean her poo,bathe and care for four kids,cook,clean,wash,and still go to work,infact you are doing the duties of both husband and wife. Will you take up this new way of life while your mate are clubbing,partying and women changing or you will return her to her parents and drop your kids with relatives while sending money to both of wife and kids.

Yes or no?( No long talk,just yes or no)

CuriousStudent:


That is my problem with you guys . Your empathic and soft side is revealed only when a man is the victim. When it's a woman that is the subject then you activate the "logic" mode.

Few weeks back you guys were justifying men that abandon their kids after divorce with theories and logical explanation. Days back it was cheating in men, giving logical explanation and the rest on why it should be normalized. Then yesterday polygamy.

But just a story of a man as the subject,Mr logic takes the back seat and Mr empathy is activated

Rushna27:
Truth be told she's too young to face such stress but in all the decisions is hers to take....cos she is d only one who can tell what she want and how she wants it....

qtx:


FOR BETTER OR WORSE People just walk into these marriages pretending to understand and accept that statement, but hmmmmm i shake my head.

1Sharon:
She cannot easily remarry with 4 kids.

Sangoamadioha1:




Nice. Now sit back, relax and think if this accident happened to your brother, will you encourage his wife to abandon him. Please be truthful to yourself and i don't need your reply.

1Sharon:
She cannot easily remarry with 4 kids.

ashawopikin:
Easily remarry after 4 kids? She dey ment

MICVOCT:


That's even better if not abandoned

darkmarky:
We can agree that many mothers are the problem of failed marriages.