Emotionss:
[color=#006600][/color]

If the husband was a millionaire would she have called the police on him ?

She could have used the police to threatened him. Make him take an undertaking never to lay is Hands on her again.

She could have taken the children and move to her parents house pending on when the husband puts his life in order....

There are many effective ways She could have used to TEACH the husband a lesson. locking him up is not one of those ways unless she is no longer interested in the marriage... by locking him up she has unintentionally destroyed her home...

I can assure you the husband believes that his wife locked him up because he is jobless, broke and depressed and nothing you tell that man will change his mind. You can't imagine that level of resentment that man now have towards the wife...

As I said earlier by locking him up especially with his current financial and unemployment status, she has unintentionally destroyed her marriage.

Nigeria is the only country a man will get away with this foolishness and you know it. If the husband was a millionaire you say? You've not heard of millionaires getting locked up? His millions make him above the law?

Nothing like she could have, he could have not beaten her and smashed her phone. Try that suggestion. What type of drunkard is that? In my drinking days I used to throw up and sleep not beat people (assuming her story is true)

Maybe the home is meant to be destroyed cos that is not a rational and logical man, remaining with him is probably not in her best interests anyway.

That husband is a foolish man and we need to drop this he was broke, depressed angle. If he has resentment and not disgust at himself for the past two years he's failed his family then he's doomed and perhaps he should be left to his fate.

A40:
Nigeria is the only country a man will get away with this foolishness and you know it. If the husband was a millionaire you say? You've not heard of millionaires getting locked up? His millions make him above the law?

Nothing like she could have, he could have not beaten her and smashed her phone. Try that suggestion. What type of drunkard is that? In my drinking days I used to throw up and sleep not beat people (assuming her story is true)

Maybe the home is meant to be destroyed cos that is not a rational and logical man, remaining with him is probably not in her best interests anyway.

That husband is a foolish man and we need to drop this he was broke, depressed angle. If he has resentment and not disgust at himself for the past two years he's failed his family then he's doomed and perhaps he should be left to his fate.

She didn't ask for validation or your narration about the said man. Provide a solution of how she can get her husband back as the deed has been done.

Luckysbab:


But she still desires a man’s company obviously.

If its more important than her life and well being of her kids, she should go ahead begging an abuser.

Luckysbab:


Understood. Violence isn’t the way.

She has reacted accordingly though and she should have braced up to handle his own reaction of keeping his distance too, not whine about it now.

He needs to keep his distance. If I'm the husband, I will, but keeping my distance is to reflect on my life and the best way to do better in challenging situations.

Mrbllymer:

She didn't ask for validation or your narration about the said man. Provide a solution of how she can get her husband back as the deed has been done.

Validation? You think I care about validating anybody.

Oga I'm opening her mind to the fact that he might not be a husband worth having. Cannot be broke, unemployed and a drunkard that beats their wife. That is too many struggles for one person.

There might be no solution

Dmacqh:
2 wrongs can't make a right.
1. He has wrong attitude after his downfall. Can he rise , Yes. He lost job not his senses. He lost his pocket not talent. He should start from somewhere. I think he has ego. He wants to return to his former lofty heights, which isn't bad but he can start somewhere.
2. If you are buoyant, you can given him a loan to start a business.
3. What's your reaction and action to him since he lost his job ? Men ego are bruised when they feel inferior
4. He beat you. So does he deserve cell, Yes. But in this our part of the world, it will be somehow.
5. If you can , change location with him, so he has new environment.
6. Take him to his family, and plead your cause there, do the same as well to your family.
7. Pray to God, and keep your voice low when he's angry.

How was he, when he was feeding you ?

A man Jobless for two years uses the little money he has to smoke and drink, yet you think it makes sense to give such a man a loan to start a business with?.... Many of you folks will say just about anything to keep yourselves from outrightly condemning this man's actions as reported. But the same will not hold back from trying to level all the blame against the woman. Na waooo

PastorFire4Fire:
■ Nobody is asking her to leave her marriage but the question is, was the man like this from the onset? He lost his job and he is depressed. Why not help him talk to people about getting another job and let him see your effort on that.

The average Nigerian is truly incapable of logically reasoning issues.

So, are you insinuating that this man's destruction of property and also violent attack of his wife, in the presence of her kids, was an attempt to resolve his frustrations, depression and joblessness?

UnfairLife7:
tell us how many wife you don see or hear beating her husband na. Tell us how many wife you don see or hear kill her husband as a result of domestic violence. Na naija you and i dey o baba. No dey cap for your fellow man like i no know wotsup

https://saharareporters.com/2021/07/16/more-women-beating-husbands-194-men-assaulted-january-%E2%80%93-lagos-government

https://www./2021/06/18/video-woman-beats-her-man-up-in-public/

https://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/11/son-ex-pdp-chair-bilyamin-bello-allegedly-killed-wife-buried/

dreamxhaser:
I am not saying she should stay and let him continue beating her. Thats wrong of him.
What i am saying is l, instead of locking him up like some random street thief, why didnt she explore other measures like leaving the house and taking the kids with her?
■ If she leave am stay with her parents while issuing concrate warning him for 2months, himself go feel guilty.

She, the victim, shouldn't have locked him up. She should have instead allowed her attacker to beat the living day lights out of her so she can take bloody pictures to post on Facebook and show her kids --- assuming she survives the beating ?

By the way, the police came and determined that there was grounds to have the man arrested and then took him away. But you ignore all of that to assert that it was the victim is to blame for why her attacker was arrested. Abi?

2. So, the victim should have allowed her attacker beat her to a pulp that day, then assuming she survived till the next day, escaped to her parent's home where she should then have proceeded to threaten her attacker for the next two months. And according to you, that always works magic?

And this is what passes for critical reasoning from you in the year 2023?

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

If what you are telling us is true, hmmmm u are a good woman. I know what u'v past through especially with a drunk person and their mentality.
U went too far but I'm not blaming you because I take it as a kind of self defence and I'm so sure he will forgive u.

He got what he deserves, in saner clan he may still pay for damages. Hopefully he would have learnt a lesson or 2 and be more responsible. I will not excuse a man that would not get a job, drink to stupor and beat the wife, haba!! Economy or not he should be thankful to have a provider woman

PastorFire4Fire:


Nobody is asking her to leave her marriage but the question is, was the man like this from the onset? He lost his job and he is depressed. Why not help him talk to people about getting another job and let him see your effort on that.

Na wa. Are we talking about a boy or a man here? She a woman needs to talk to people to help him get another job? Lol abeg nau. Ok let's say he had no woman. Will he not survive?

Life is not easy my brother. All your life even for your church have you seen any ministry that cater to widowers?

Women get their own for body 100% and can be very problematic but we can't keep coddling to foolishness from our kind either

When chidimma killed ataga, women suddenly wanted to hear both sides of the story, they believed the version of a murderer, and blamed ataga for cheating on his wife, chidimma was not bashed by ladies

When bilyami Bello's wife killed him for infidelity, the wife was not bashed, instead bello was blamed for cheating on his wife


I hope u hypocrites see where am going with these..........

UnfairLife7 I need your comment on this please ................

A40:
Validation? You think I care about validating anybody.

Oga I'm opening her mind to the fact that he might not be a husband worth having. Cannot be broke, unemployed and a drunkard that beats their wife. That is too many struggles for one person.

There might be no solution

Online marriage counselors, she didn't ask for mind opening though did she?
No sensible person judges based on a side of the story, that's why courts mostly hear from both sides before giving judgment.
Most will likely paint a narration to suit their side of the story. Not in support of him being lazy or beating the woman though.

Since you said there's no solution and then advice her to move on and file for divorce, the man ain't the one here to complain or seek help.

Let's say he injured her. I just want to know who will have had to pay the hospital bills?

I don't like seeing emotional men that don't think and use logic. If you're upset that you don't have a job it can always get worse, you're healthy, you're not destitute, you still have your wits about you.

Wasn't it Solidstar I saw the other day roaming the streets aimlessly on the internet yelling at whoever the fvck knows

Is he the first man that will lose his job? People like that is why Layiwasabi said broke niggas are homicidal.

And I'm not one of those that even believe a man must be provider and traditional megedefegede but he should at least be bringing something while the woman also brings something.

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

What started in the kitchen?
What did yhu do?

Mrbllymer:

Online marriage counselors, she didn't ask for mind opening though did she?
No sensible person judges based on a side of the story, that's why courts mostly hear from both sides before giving judgment.
Most will likely paint a narration to suit their side of the story. Not in support of him being lazy or beating the said woman though.

Then she's in the wrong place. I wouldn't advice my sister if I had one to stay with a drunken man beating her to a pulp. At that point I will question her intelligence.

Maybe she's lying and maybe she's saying the truth who the fvck knows. Women lie too but we can't pretend there are not numerous men out there battering their wives

I am going solely off her story. If it is true then getting the man is the least of her worries, he needs to get himself back

UnfairLife7:
wife don't beat their husband.

Tell me you're naive and ignorant without saying it.

Starships4u:
■ What started in the kitchen?
What did yhu do?

Are you of the mind that her attacker's destruction of property and violent attack of her person was somehow warranted?

UnfairLife7:
wife don't beat their husband.

Don't let me flood this page with women killing their husbands abeg. You don't have to pander to women to prove points

Kobojunkiee:
Are you of the mind that her qttackers destruction of property and violent qttack was somehow warranted?

I don't understand this....

A40:
Then she's in the wrong place. I wouldn't advice my sister if I had one to stay with a drunken man beating her to a pulp. At that point I will question her intelligence.

Maybe she's lying and maybe she's saying the truth who the fvck knows. Women lie too but we can't pretend there are not numerous men out there battering their wives

I am going solely off her story. If it is true then getting the man is the least of her worries, he needs to get himself back

Exactly you already painted him and hurled words at him based on her side of the story if the man was here to say his side I'm sure there would be questions to ask, cos no one knows the truth except the two of them, and when a woman is feeding a man we both know how they can be.
Yes women lie a lot but judging her case based on “numerous men out there battering their wives” doesn't seem right, for each marriage with its own peculiar case.
The guy deserves the arrest but how he chose to reach is no one's business.

From the story, lotta questions need to be asked.
What happened after he came back and went to the kitchen? No details I'm sure there are questions asked, confrontations, insults, and many more.

thesicilian:
A man can feed his family for years and no one will hear about it. He's often proud to bear the responsibility. But the moment a woman starts bearing the responsibility, all hell must break loose, sooner or later

This is very wrong to blame this woman

How will a Man not working, getting drunk and come back to insult his wife, break her phone and beat Her.

She called law enforcement and arrested him
Still took food to him in the police cell

And she was still feeling remorseful


Haba
This woman is a good woman

She has bore a lot

That she has been taking care of the home for two good years


Haba
This woman don try

And you have the audacity to judge this matter with that nonsense you wrote up there

Honestly you are a grade one skunk
And all those that liked your reply


Shame to all of you

Nonsense

thesicilian:
A man can feed his family for years and no one will hear about it. He's often proud to bear the responsibility. But the moment a woman starts bearing the responsibility, all hell must break loose, sooner or later

You are discerning

Madam you didn't do anything wrong

How the heck will the nigger lay his filthy, dirty hands on you


A woman bearing the brunt for 2 years

And you were even feeling remorse for what you did


You did no wrong

That nigger have to wake up and be the Man he is meant to be seeing he has a supportive Wife


If he was like us that our women don't even bring any money to the table but rather every bill is on our head
What will he do?

His is f..cking du.mb mfcker

He better sit his ass up and get something doing as he is blessed with a supportive Wife that loves Him.

Madam just use wisdom to be following Him
Do your duties at home
Continue to support

But also get input from either his elders, mentors, church and counselor to work on Him

Just be patient

But if it will turn to violence and threaten your life

And he doesn't want to change
Better run!!

Samantha124:
Well, what he did was unlawful and if you ask me, you did the right thing by getting him arrested.

Let it be a warning to him that next time you wouldn't be lenient on him.... You can apologize to him for getting him arrested, but let him know that you don't appreciate what he did to you and you're not going to stand for it if he continues with his behavior.

It's not your fault that he lost his job and can't find another one.

So now this means marriage is no more 1plus 1 equal 1?

Verokeena:



I have never ever nortured such thought.. I have endured countless insults and provocations..

What else could I have done.. ? Like I said I regret my actions but I just wished he had never touched me or raising his hands to the kids.. saying he doesn't even know if the kids were his.. since he lost his job it has been one issue to another.. but I try to see through his eyes .. to understand what he is going through..

I do not have excuse for my actions.. I just need a solution

Thanks for your contributions anyways

Madam you did no wrong don't mind them


Look previously for my reply

You are a good woman

Keep on supporting Him

But also call for meeting with his elders, mentors church and get counseling

If it turns to violence that will endanger your life

Better run!!

Verokeena:



It was more of a warning to him.. I didn't neglect him there.. he had access to his phone.. even though as first he wasn't taking my call but I kept texting him..

Now the thing is he was supposed to come out the next day but he refused. Said since I placed him there he'd wish to die there(emotional blackmail if you ask me)

I had to go with his friends to beg him the next day..

Ah this na good woman


This Man no know wetin God do for am

A woman that supports loves and feels bad when she hurt Him


If nigger lose this kind woman

Him own don be be that

UnfairLife7:
The man deserves more than that. He has been without job for 2 years and all he could do was to drink, smoke, destroy his wife stuff and even went as far as hitting her.

I am a man and i will keep saying it, we men can't take half of what we dish out to women.

These same men cannot try all these nonesense in developed countries. Naija na shithole truly. Too many things wrong about the country

Nice one 👍 from a smart Man like me

I agree to all you said

Verokeena:



This your comment is really unfair...

This has nothing to do with his financial status.. for two years i tried everything within my strength to make him not feel like he was jobless.. at a point i connected him to a job but he turned it down cos he feels that position is too low for him..



But thanks for your contributions

That's there attribute

Lazy men

Nonsense

Like we all haven't gone through tough times?

I have lost millions
Still humbled myself to serve and answer boy boy

Till my story changed


That nigger is f... cking entitled

Got him a job and he turned it down?

Damn and he is also prideful and conceited

This type of Man may never get money in his lifetime

To make it
You sometimes will have to take sh.it, humble yourself to get to your destination


Chei

Verokeena:






Thanks so much for this

Hahaha wao!!

First time Kobo is making serious Sense

Most times I dodge his/her reply!!

Is like u don't have sense

fxexperts:
Abeg shut up your dirty mouth abeg, and all the emotional torture and oppression he has been oppressing his wife all these years so the wife will forget it abi. Una head dey truly dey shake for this forum.