slimzypink:
So quick one, I will try not to make it long.
I was living in an Asian country and I met a Nigerian . I had a very good job, apparently I got a better offer to another country. But then I was seeing this guy . He proposed marriage i was a bit held back as I wasn’t so sure of it. Anyways his parents came to mine in Nigeria and we did a kind of online trad wedding. I moved without him to my new country. While he was left back in Asia. Told him he would have to come to Nigeria so we do court marriage then I can apply for him to join me.

The issue now is that before he came to Nigeria as I was coming for a short visit, I broke up and said I don’t want to do the court marriage . But he insisted his family kept begging and I stupidly agreed.

There have been so many red flags that made me scared

1-he drinks a lot and I have tried to caution him . He said he changed
2-he was illegal in the Asian country for over 6 years making it seem like he is using me for visa purposes
3- his anger issues is top notch and it seems I really can’t control his anger
4- he has nothing doing just anywhere hustle is he does , no focus . all he has is big dreams and he said I should take a loan for his dreams.
5. Told him that if he eventually moves in with me he must work. But I am scared that the lazy attitude he had will still be there . And for some reasons he always attacks me that I am proud cause I have a good job.
Now I am not looking down on him to be Honest. I can be with a man who I am higher than but he should show prospect of wanting to be better than me or at least prospect of wanting to work.

Now he has been illegal in Asia for years so he never left cause he had no papers but because of the court marriage he took the leap and left. During the court marriage on the the day I said I couldn’t go on with it.all my friends that knew him said I shouldn’t go on with it . And he begged and begged. Felt bad for him and I agreed. At least so I take him out of naija back



I went back to my work and he is left in Nigeria just for me to process his papers . But I am having those fears again. That I made a big mistake. My brother met him and the first thing he went doing was going to buy alcohol about 33% own and he downed it in front of my brother he was just meeting the first time . Even on the day of the counselling at regristry the lady there was saying your husband is not patient and all. So I am in a dilemma

I want to look for a way out . How do I divorce him. I fear he will not give me the divorce. Court marriage is barely 2 months as well.

slimzypink:
So quick one, I will try not to make it long.
I was living in an Asian country and I met a Nigerian . I had a very good job, apparently I got a better offer to another country. But then I was seeing this guy . He proposed marriage i was a bit held back as I wasn’t so sure of it. Anyways his parents came to mine in Nigeria and we did a kind of online trad wedding. I moved without him to my new country. While he was left back in Asia. Told him he would have to come to Nigeria so we do court marriage then I can apply for him to join me.

The issue now is that before he came to Nigeria as I was coming for a short visit, I broke up and said I don’t want to do the court marriage . But he insisted his family kept begging and I stupidly agreed.

There have been so many red flags that made me scared

1-he drinks a lot and I have tried to caution him . He said he changed
2-he was illegal in the Asian country for over 6 years making it seem like he is using me for visa purposes
3- his anger issues is top notch and it seems I really can’t control his anger
4- he has nothing doing just anywhere hustle is he does , no focus . all he has is big dreams and he said I should take a loan for his dreams.
5. Told him that if he eventually moves in with me he must work. But I am scared that the lazy attitude he had will still be there . And for some reasons he always attacks me that I am proud cause I have a good job.
Now I am not looking down on him to be Honest. I can be with a man who I am higher than but he should show prospect of wanting to be better than me or at least prospect of wanting to work.

Now he has been illegal in Asia for years so he never left cause he had no papers but because of the court marriage he took the leap and left. During the court marriage on the the day I said I couldn’t go on with it.all my friends that knew him said I shouldn’t go on with it . And he begged and begged. Felt bad for him and I agreed. At least so I take him out of naija back



I went back to my work and he is left in Nigeria just for me to process his papers . But I am having those fears again. That I made a big mistake. My brother met him and the first thing he went doing was going to buy alcohol about 33% own and he downed it in front of my brother he was just meeting the first time . Even on the day of the counselling at regristry the lady there was saying your husband is not patient and all. So I am in a dilemma

I want to look for a way out . How do I divorce him. I fear he will not give me the divorce. Court marriage is barely 2 months as well.

fyzaila:
Aunty you saw all these red 🚩🚩 you still went ahead to marry him. Is he the last man standing? Abi responsible men have finished? Something is telling me is desperation that made you agreed to the marriage.

Hmmm you're in for a long thing. Prayer is your friend now

slimzypink:


Not desperation. In my head he will change but he is not, and we had an issue and he said he will make sure he brings me down at my work place cause I am proud. Though he said he said it out of anger . This word is strong hence I am scared if I bring him in because I feel pity he is in Nigeria he would go ahead with his plan someday

Newdawn30:
How will you Marry someone out if pity... The funny thing is that you will always feel like you made the wrong decision marrying him for years to come.

SavageResponse:


Don't take his threat likely.

Just blank him by going A.W.O.L

I hope you don't owe him any money sha and you did not collect any valuable gift from him

slimzypink:


Not desperation. In my head he will change but he is not, and we had an issue and he said he will make sure he brings me down at my work place cause I am proud. Though he said he said it out of anger . This word is strong hence I am scared if I bring him in because I feel pity he is in Nigeria he would go ahead with his plan someday

slimzypink:
So quick one, I will try not to make it long.
I was living in an Asian country and I met a Nigerian . I had a very good job, apparently I got a better offer to another country. But then I was seeing this guy . He proposed marriage i was a bit held back as I wasn’t so sure of it. Anyways his parents came to mine in Nigeria and we did a kind of online trad wedding. I moved without him to my new country. While he was left back in Asia. Told him he would have to come to Nigeria so we do court marriage then I can apply for him to join me.

The issue now is that before he came to Nigeria as I was coming for a short visit, I broke up and said I don’t want to do the court marriage . But he insisted his family kept begging and I stupidly agreed.

There have been so many red flags that made me scared

1-he drinks a lot and I have tried to caution him . He said he changed
2-he was illegal in the Asian country for over 6 years making it seem like he is using me for visa purposes
3- his anger issues is top notch and it seems I really can’t control his anger
4- he has nothing doing just anywhere hustle is he does , no focus . all he has is big dreams and he said I should take a loan for his dreams.
5. Told him that if he eventually moves in with me he must work. But I am scared that the lazy attitude he had will still be there . And for some reasons he always attacks me that I am proud cause I have a good job.
Now I am not looking down on him to be Honest. I can be with a man who I am higher than but he should show prospect of wanting to be better than me or at least prospect of wanting to work.

Now he has been illegal in Asia for years so he never left cause he had no papers but because of the court marriage he took the leap and left. During the court marriage on the the day I said I couldn’t go on with it.all my friends that knew him said I shouldn’t go on with it . And he begged and begged. Felt bad for him and I agreed. At least so I take him out of naija back



I went back to my work and he is left in Nigeria just for me to process his papers . But I am having those fears again. That I made a big mistake. My brother met him and the first thing he went doing was going to buy alcohol about 33% own and he downed it in front of my brother he was just meeting the first time . Even on the day of the counselling at regristry the lady there was saying your husband is not patient and all. So I am in a dilemma

I want to look for a way out . How do I divorce him. I fear he will not give me the divorce. Court marriage is barely 2 months as well.

slimzypink:

Nope he owes me instead. Gave him some money about 1.6million so he comes back to naija but he said the agent that will procure his travel docs back to naija scammed him and that was how my money went . I am not even asking for that money back . I am just scared of him after saying he will bring me down. No matter the anger that statement is deep rooted to say to someone.

SavageResponse:


You starting point is to officially dissolve the union.

Tell you parents to return the bride price and tell them why you can no longer go on with him (I hope you have some proof).

This time you need to be ready to block your heart and mind - no matter who calls you to beg do not shift ground!

slimzypink:

So he was back to Nigeria, if I had held my ground before he came to Nigeria this wouldn’t have happened. I felt it was me who made him come to naija if not he would have kept being in Asia. Long story short I didn’t want to go through the marriage on the said date. But pleas and pleas from hun and family made me just do it. Deep down now I just know it’s a big mistake .

mbaise1000:
I think that you want out of the marriage but is looking for a good reason to do it, anyways, if you are still claiming to be a Christian wvlhich I believe you are not, you should be aware that God hates divorce, the condition God gave for divorce wasn't mentioned by you in your little epistle, if you want him to leave by himself, you will still be commitng adultry if you marry another, I don't believe that there is anyone that is 100% bad, you are not 100% good too, there must be some ways that your husband is good, concentrate on those parts and develop them more, and you will see reason to accept your husband back, when all you are looking in a person is faults, you are certainly going to see them and if you don't see, you will develop faults in the person and believe it, when you married this person, you did not ask for our advice, why do you need our advice now to divorce him? People like me don't support what God hates, you have married this person, whether it's internet marriage or audio marriage or marriage in absentia, it's legsl in the face of God, people went into marriage for all the wrong reasons these days and will start crying foul after a few days, none if your reasons is good enough to leave that marriage, just make it work, impossible is nothing.
Don't be listening to people who don't have respect for the marriage institution or their spouses

slimzypink:


Thanks it is the blocking the heart part I need to learn. It’s the begging and begging that I couldn’t say no to that brought me to this situation . Hopefully he gives me the divorce.

SavageResponse:


Here is how you do it.

As soon as you set things in motion, start ignoring all calls coming from Nigeria except from your parents or the lawyer representing you.

You may only respond to other people through written messages but if anyone persists or tries to put pressure on you to change your mind just block or delete the person straightaway.

Marriage is a very long journey therefore you should not tie yourself to someone who has potential of being a deadbeat or alcoholic, this goes for both male and female!

Like I mentioned before make sure that you do not owe him any serious favours so he cannot say you cheated or exploited his kindness to you.

mbaise1000:
I think that you want out of the marriage but is looking for a good reason to do it, anyways, if you are still claiming to be a Christian wvlhich I believe you are not, you should be aware that God hates divorce, the condition God gave for divorce wasn't mentioned by you in your little epistle, if you want him to leave by himself, you will still be commitng adultry if you marry another, I don't believe that there is anyone that is 100% bad, you are not 100% good too, there must be some ways that your husband is good, concentrate on those parts and develop them more, and you will see reason to accept your husband back, when all you are looking in a person is faults, you are certainly going to see them and if you don't see, you will develop faults in the person and believe it, when you married this person, you did not ask for our advice, why do you need our advice now to divorce him? People like me don't support what God hates, you have married this person, whether it's internet marriage or audio marriage or marriage in absentia, it's legsl in the face of God, people went into marriage for all the wrong reasons these days and will start crying foul after a few days, none if your reasons is good enough to leave that marriage, just make it work, impossible is nothing.
Don't be listening to people who don't have respect for the marriage institution or their spouses

Harddiskng:
You can see all the red and even black flags you are still here asking questions when you know what needs to be done.

You didn’t listen to someone close, so it’s us you don’t know from Adam you want us to waste energy typing so you can ignore our advice too abi

It’s like some people bellful the next thing on the agenda is to cause problems for themselves lol. I don’t want to believe that this story is true.

slimzypink:


I don’t I will do that . Thanks loads

timisquare82:
You are mean ooo, after you brought the man from his hiding zone ( Asia) back to this country you are now saying he is a drunkard and claiming he has anger issues. Didn't you see all these before you brought him to Nigeria?. You don't really know what you want.