slimzypink:

I will get the divorce. Thanks .

And you will restore him to his former position, either by getting him back into Asia or financially.

Like I mentioned earlier you that you have issues making up your mind even after seeing the sign is your problem.

If you don’t get rid of this trait and have a proper thought/decision making process, you would just keep making one bad decision after another.

slimzypink:


Thanks it is the blocking the heart part I need to learn. It’s the begging and begging that I couldn’t say no to that brought me to this situation . Hopefully he gives me the divorce.

You can’t process divorce now cos you can only start a divorce proceeding for a marriage contracted in the registry only after two years. That is,to start a divorce process,the marriage must have been more than two years from the day it was contracted.
That’s the position of the law.

What makes women date or even marry useless men like this. He came all the way from asia to come marry you and can’t return as he was illegal. You now want to abandon him in Nigeria haba. Carry am go the new country first and divorce him there

slimzypink:


Not desperation. In my head he will change but he is not, and we had an issue and he said he will make sure he brings me down at my work place cause I am proud. Though he said he said it out of anger . This word is strong hence I am scared if I bring him in because I feel pity he is in Nigeria he would go ahead with his plan someday

After all you read on here and see in real life?

No wonder they keep insisting “ladies have fish brains”!

What the f**k?!

No job or stable hustle?
Not a legal migrant (let it be that’s what he could offer for you to get him the good life)?
In all the poverty, an alcoholic?

God abeg… 😢🙏🤲😩

You went and married for sympathy? Marriage is a lifetime affair and with all the red flags, you felt pressured at your age?

This is the height of desperation. Even if you divorce him now, you've automatically become a divorcee.

izonborn098:
Court marriage'' even juju sef he no go work for me....
Just imagine the blackmail
I pity the poor man sha...
1. Davido spend millions everyday on drugs
2. Dickson spend millions everyday on alcohol..
3. Burnaboy spend millions everyday on drugs' yet they are every woman's dream
4. Pls in what ever u doing don't go broke as man...
5. Olamide spend millions everyday on drugs
6. Women don't know what they want'' if u have RBS with small character he don set...
*madam go and divorce the man he will find somebody better than u.
*u WILL also find somebody better than''

You forgot to add Wike who drinks expensive alcohol

U saw all his red flags yet u agreed to marry him,made him come back from Asia to Nigeria knowing fully well that he can't go back nd now u want to abandon him.
Try nd put urself in his shoes.

As long as he doesn't physically hit u nd he doesn't cheat I don't see anything wrong with some1 who drinks.

slimzypink:
So quick one, I will try not to make it long.
I was living in an Asian country and I met a Nigerian . I had a very good job, apparently I got a better offer to another country. But then I was seeing this guy . He proposed marriage i was a bit held back as I wasn’t so sure of it. Anyways his parents came to mine in Nigeria and we did a kind of online trad wedding. I moved without him to my new country. While he was left back in Asia. Told him he would have to come to Nigeria so we do court marriage then I can apply for him to join me.

The issue now is that before he came to Nigeria as I was coming for a short visit, I broke up and said I don’t want to do the court marriage . But he insisted his family kept begging and I stupidly agreed.

There have been so many red flags that made me scared

1-he drinks a lot and I have tried to caution him . He said he changed
2-he was illegal in the Asian country for over 6 years making it seem like he is using me for visa purposes
3- his anger issues is top notch and it seems I really can’t control his anger
4- he has nothing doing just anywhere hustle is he does , no focus . all he has is big dreams and he said I should take a loan for his dreams.
5. Told him that if he eventually moves in with me he must work. But I am scared that the lazy attitude he had will still be there . And for some reasons he always attacks me that I am proud cause I have a good job.
Now I am not looking down on him to be Honest. I can be with a man who I am higher than but he should show prospect of wanting to be better than me or at least prospect of wanting to work.

Now he has been illegal in Asia for years so he never left cause he had no papers but because of the court marriage he took the leap and left. During the court marriage on the the day I said I couldn’t go on with it.all my friends that knew him said I shouldn’t go on with it . And he begged and begged. Felt bad for him and I agreed. At least so I take him out of naija back



I went back to my work and he is left in Nigeria just for me to process his papers . But I am having those fears again. That I made a big mistake. My brother met him and the first thing he went doing was going to buy alcohol about 33% own and he downed it in front of my brother he was just meeting the first time . Even on the day of the counselling at regristry the lady there was saying your husband is not patient and all. So I am in a dilemma

I want to look for a way out . How do I divorce him. I fear he will not give me the divorce. Court marriage is barely 2 months as well.

Aunty, which Asian country did you get a high paying job,
Let me check something.......

ednut1:
What makes women date or even marry useless men like this. He came all the way from asia to come marry you and can’t return as he was illegal. You now want to abandon him in Nigeria haba. Carry am go the new country first and divorce him there

2 days before he came back I said I wasn’t interested again. And we should move on , could have stood my ground, he did come back and I still begged we should wait a bit or do the marriage another time. You will not understand when you see a whole family begging you and him begging. I started feeling guilty and just let it happen, hoping we will make it work . But I will always have a better job than him because of my career path and my income will most likely always be higher even if he gets a job if he moves. And I don’t mind if I earn more but I mind when someone sees it as a threat and prefers I lost my job , I feel there will always be major argument cos of the fact that I earn more , and it makes some men act irrationally . He put the fear in me. So yea if I bring him over I fear it will be worst . I will rather help him move to another country

Dyfynezz12:
U saw all his red flags yet u agreed to marry him,made him come back from Asia to Nigeria knowing fully well that he can't go back nd now u want to abandon him.
Try nd put urself in his shoes.

As long as he doesn't physically hit u nd he doesn't cheat I don't see anything wrong with some1 who drinks.

He hit me once when dating. Though just a a little strike and it didn’t happen again he apologised , he called my family told them what he did and apologised. But I am beginning to realise he his hiding his true self to get what he wants . I have put my self in his shoes that was why I did the marriage. Cause I obviously feel bad he was stuck in Nigeria doing nothing.

slimzypink:


Not desperation. In my head he will change but he is not, and we had an issue and he said he will make sure he brings me down at my work place cause I am proud. Though he said he said it out of anger . This word is strong hence I am scared if I bring him in because I feel pity he is in Nigeria he would go ahead with his plan someday

Don't take those words seriously ok, you haven't even given the man a chance and u are already crucifying him. I will advice you give him and chance and constantly show him respect as your husband then quietly talk to him about chosing a path and focusing on it. Am very sure you will see a different person entirely after having a heart to heart conversation with him! Don't go and start forming boss when trying to discuss with him and when having this conversation pls emphasize on the need for him to work and be the provider of the family, make him understand that it will be a thing of pride for you as a woman to see your husband become everything people thought he could not be. After this discussion give him a kiss and pamper him..... You will be shocked at what you will see in the coming days!

It’s well.
I have nothing to say on this, but to every man out here reading this, please don’t be broke, this is not a motivational post but fact , society will overlook so many things if you’re doing ok financially.. but if you’re broke, slightest wrongdoing , society will come hard on you.

PBUT

olril17:

You can’t process divorce now cos you can only start a divorce proceeding for a marriage contracted in the registry only after two years. That is,to start a divorce process,the marriage must have been more than two years from the day it was contracted.
That’s the position of the law.

What if the marriage was contacted by duress, or threat can it be possible before 2 years on that ground to make it void

slimzypink:
So quick one, I will try not to make it long.
I was living in an Asian country and I met a Nigerian . I had a very good job, apparently I got a better offer to another country. But then I was seeing this guy . He proposed marriage i was a bit held back as I wasn’t so sure of it. Anyways his parents came to mine in Nigeria and we did a kind of online trad wedding. I moved without him to my new country. While he was left back in Asia. Told him he would have to come to Nigeria so we do court marriage then I can apply for him to join me.

The issue now is that before he came to Nigeria as I was coming for a short visit, I broke up and said I don’t want to do the court marriage . But he insisted his family kept begging and I stupidly agreed.

There have been so many red flags that made me scared

1-he drinks a lot and I have tried to caution him . He said he changed
2-he was illegal in the Asian country for over 6 years making it seem like he is using me for visa purposes
3- his anger issues is top notch and it seems I really can’t control his anger
4- he has nothing doing just anywhere hustle is he does , no focus . all he has is big dreams and he said I should take a loan for his dreams.
5. Told him that if he eventually moves in with me he must work. But I am scared that the lazy attitude he had will still be there . And for some reasons he always attacks me that I am proud cause I have a good job.
Now I am not looking down on him to be Honest. I can be with a man who I am higher than but he should show prospect of wanting to be better than me or at least prospect of wanting to work.

Now he has been illegal in Asia for years so he never left cause he had no papers but because of the court marriage he took the leap and left. During the court marriage on the the day I said I couldn’t go on with it.all my friends that knew him said I shouldn’t go on with it . And he begged and begged. Felt bad for him and I agreed. At least so I take him out of naija back



I went back to my work and he is left in Nigeria just for me to process his papers . But I am having those fears again. That I made a big mistake. My brother met him and the first thing he went doing was going to buy alcohol about 33% own and he downed it in front of my brother he was just meeting the first time . Even on the day of the counselling at regristry the lady there was saying your husband is not patient and all. So I am in a dilemma

I want to look for a way out . How do I divorce him. I fear he will not give me the divorce. Court marriage is barely 2 months as well.

Admin please don’t take this to front page

This is what happens when adults don't know how to say "NO".

Well, you never should have married him.

It's was so simple now you complicated it.


It will do you well to ignore some posts.

slimzypink:


What if the marriage was contacted by duress, or threat can it be possible before 2 years on that ground to make it void

Well you might need to talk to a lawyer.
And yes a marriage can be annulled on those grounds.
But generally court will not entertain your kind of divorce proceedings for a less than two year old marriage.

SavageResponse:


Your starting point is to officially dissolve the union.

Tell you parents to return the bride price and tell them why you can no longer go on with him (I hope you have some proof).

This time you need to be ready to block your heart and mind - no matter who calls you to beg do not shift ground!

That means she has to come back to Nigeria to start the divorce process right?

olril17:

Well you might need to talk to a lawyer.
And yes a marriage can be annulled on those grounds.
But generally court will not entertain your kind of divorce proceedings for a less than two year old marriage.

OIC!
You are not a lawyer?

OP this is a difficult situation right here but there is a possibility that you will find a solution…

Osobi32:
Don't take those words seriously ok, you haven't even given the man a chance and u are already crucifying him. I will advice you give him and chance and constantly show him respect as your husband then quietly talk to him about chosing a path and focusing on it. Am very sure you will see a different person entirely after having a heart to heart conversation with him! Don't go and start forming boss when trying to discuss with him and when having this conversation pls emphasize on the need for him to work and be the provider of the family, make him understand that it will be a thing of pride for you as a woman to see your husband become everything people thought he could not be. After this discussion give him a kiss and pamper him..... You will be shocked at what you will see in the coming days!

You watch Bollywood too much🤣🤣

Tabletuner:


OIC!
You are not a lawyer?

I am.

Tabletuner:


That means she has to come back to Nigeria to start the divorce process right?

She doesn’t.

olril17:

You watch Bollywood too much🤣🤣

Hmm..... Ok. I'm very sure u a not married.

slimzypink:
So quick one, I will try not to make it long.
I was living in an Asian country and I met a Nigerian . I had a very good job, apparently I got a better offer to another country. But then I was seeing this guy . He proposed marriage i was a bit held back as I wasn’t so sure of it. Anyways his parents came to mine in Nigeria and we did a kind of online trad wedding. I moved without him to my new country. While he was left back in Asia. Told him he would have to come to Nigeria so we do court marriage then I can apply for him to join me.

The issue now is that before he came to Nigeria as I was coming for a short visit, I broke up and said I don’t want to do the court marriage . But he insisted his family kept begging and I stupidly agreed.

There have been so many red flags that made me scared

1-he drinks a lot and I have tried to caution him . He said he changed
2-he was illegal in the Asian country for over 6 years making it seem like he is using me for visa purposes
3- his anger issues is top notch and it seems I really can’t control his anger
4- he has nothing doing just anywhere hustle is he does , no focus . all he has is big dreams and he said I should take a loan for his dreams.
5. Told him that if he eventually moves in with me he must work. But I am scared that the lazy attitude he had will still be there . And for some reasons he always attacks me that I am proud cause I have a good job.
Now I am not looking down on him to be Honest. I can be with a man who I am higher than but he should show prospect of wanting to be better than me or at least prospect of wanting to work.

Now he has been illegal in Asia for years so he never left cause he had no papers but because of the court marriage he took the leap and left. During the court marriage on the the day I said I couldn’t go on with it.all my friends that knew him said I shouldn’t go on with it . And he begged and begged. Felt bad for him and I agreed. At least so I take him out of naija back



I went back to my work and he is left in Nigeria just for me to process his papers . But I am having those fears again. That I made a big mistake. My brother met him and the first thing he went doing was going to buy alcohol about 33% own and he downed it in front of my brother he was just meeting the first time . Even on the day of the counselling at regristry the lady there was saying your husband is not patient and all. So I am in a dilemma

I want to look for a way out . How do I divorce him. I fear he will not give me the divorce. Court marriage is barely 2 months as well.

Admin please don’t take this to front page

Run and never look back!!!! Good that the court wedding was in Nigeria

Hire a divorce lawyer in Nigeria to represent you. Don't show your face, change all your numbers, delete social media.

olril17:

You can’t process divorce now cos you can only start a divorce proceeding for a marriage contracted in the registry only after two years. That is,to start a divorce process,the marriage must have been more than two years from the day it was contracted.
That’s the position of the law.

.
There's a way around that two years mandatory requirement.

You saw the signs tho...
Well it's never too late to end the marriage....
Find sm1 to marry over there...shikina

FirstCounsel:
.
There's a way around that two years mandatory requirement.

Really?wow
Pls elaborate further boss

slimzypink:

So he was back to Nigeria, if I had held my ground before he came to Nigeria this wouldn’t have happened. I felt it was me who made him come to naija if not he would have kept being in Asia. Long story short I didn’t want to go through the marriage on the said date. But pleas and pleas from hun and family made me just do it. Deep down now I just know it’s a big mistake .

U made a very big mistake doing anything u never really wanted to. Pressure, pity, manipulations and blackmail should never be grounds for doing anything as important as marrying. Now it's on u ( I bet that's what he feels) to get him out of the country because ur the reason he is back else he would still be in Asia illegally. U have put urself in a very difficult position.

I will advise you on the steps to take and if you make use of it , certainly you have done yourself, and families a great favor.

You said he's at Asian for years and couldn't come back home because he has no papers.

But you agreed to do wedding with him to relocate abroad hence you suggest he comes back to Nigeria for that.

He's back in Nigeria and still continue with is bad attitude and as such you are thinking on how to divorce him.

You claim he once said he's going to bring you down right? And people are telling you to block ties with him blablabla.....

Note

You ruined his life for bringing him back to Nigeria and making him stranded, bitter pills to swallow and stop saying he's the one owning you as what he is loosing right now is more than your lost, i.e money.

He will do exactly he promised to do by bringing you down directly or indirectly, i.e your families are not safe and could be a victim of your deed.

If you happens to be my blood sister this is what I will suggest

1. Explain everything to your parents.

2. Tell them you are scared of your life and future and even theirs.

3. Send them to his family for possible dissolution and as such you will have to pathways with some money to assist him move back to Asian or anywhere outside Nigeria with this, he can easily let go.

NOTE

He must have signed the divorce papers before payment just to be at safe side.

And anything aside from my suggestion, then I will advise you move your families away from Nigeria because you already ruined his life according to what will be on his mind as you trick him to relocate back home and will pay you back hurting your loved ones even you won't be safe coming back home for anything or events.

PEACE

I think you're stupid,you saw all this and you went ahead. After he's through with you, you'll start looking for mr nice guy to pour all your burden, on. God will judge you.