The thought of losing a loved one scares the shit out of me. I've been lucky not to have lost anyone close to me. Condolences to those who have.

For those that have lost loved ones in the past, I'm curious to know how you dealed with the loss, especially few days after their death.

Feel free to go into details if you want.

I lost my mom and it's was not a sweet feeling at all, I felt terrible and pained. 💔

I lost my mum in 2010 to terminal illness... Still wish she is around to see my kids.

I also lost the girl i intended to marry in 2013... This was more tragic cause she died in a car accident few hours after we apoke on the phone and i told her i will call back. I loved her but she went just like the wind. Married now and love my wife... I still miss her smile.
Hmmmmmmmmm

frank317:
I lost my mum in 2010 to terminal illness... Still wish she is around to see my kids.

I also lost the girl i intended to marry in 2013... This was more tragic cause she died in a car accident few hours after we apoke on the phone and i told her i will call back. I loved her but she went just like the wind. Married now and love my wife... I still miss her smile.
Hmmmmmmmmm

we have similar experience I lost my mum 2022 lost my fiancee October 2023 I'm still yet to get over it it feels so lonely and disheartening I'm still finding it difficult to put myself together.

Lovemeharder:
I lost my mom and it's was not a sweet feeling at all, I felt terrible and pained. 💔

Sorry for your loss. How long did it take before the pain and terrible feelings left?

frank317:
I lost my mum in 2010 to terminal illness... Still wish she is around to see my kids.

I also lost the girl i intended to marry in 2013... This was more tragic cause she died in a car accident few hours after we apoke on the phone and i told her i will call back. I loved her but she went just like the wind. Married now and love my wife... I still miss her smile.
Hmmmmmmmmm

Your experience is touching. Sorry for both your losses.

How did you handle the feeling?

Same question I use to ask.
Until I lost My dad Last month. He's still lying in the morgue.
I'm still hurt and pained, I do think and have sleepless night from the very first day the news was broke to me. His demise has really affected me all way round.
Wanted to create a thread on how to move on after loosing a love one.
I wish I died first b4 my love one. I was always scared of loosing a love one. Now I'm trapped in my fears. What's life, if we live to die? Each time I remember me seeing my dad lying naked in the morgue, I begin the share tears without my knowing, I wish I died first. Pray not to loose ur love ones untimely. It creates a vacuum in your heart which can never filled.

I just have to stay strong for my lovely mother. If I the son could be going through this, what more about her the wife?

Just lost my dad on Sunday dunno how to react yet

ecstasy37:
Just lost my dad on Sunday dunno how to react yet

Sorry bro for the lost. I can relate

ebijimi7:
we have similar experience I lost my mum 2022 lost my fiancee October 2023 I'm still yet to get over it it feels so lonely and disheartening I'm still finding it difficult to put myself together.

its really tough bro... only time can heal, not even heal, but make the whole situation manageable

Infolenka:


Sorry for your loss. How long did it take before the pain and terrible feelings left?

I am an extrovert.... so when i heard my mums death, i was with some friends and when the news came via phone call, i cried and drank myself to stupor... the next day the reality hit and i felt empty, life was sad and meaningless, but she was sick and I consoled myself thinking she is better off than suffering here. I still miss her but it does not hurt as much.

As for my girl... I was engulfed with fear, that she was actually dead after the accident was confirmed and her number was not going. She was a corper traveling home to see her mum. she actually borrowed money to make the journey as allowee no gree come. she intended to visit me after seeing her mum... I never heard from her and it was the most terrifying moment of my life. I still feel the taste of my fears... i even created a page for her here https://www.nairaland.com/1253680/loving-memory
i cried my soul out... and was angry at myself for loving her so much. I didnt want to go into another relationship because of fear of either the person losing me or me losing them... it was really sad and its still sad... she really didnt deserve to die... wish i can see her just one more time,,, just once again

believe it or not, there are some loss you can't get over

There was a time I was like you, I had not lost a loved one and I used to consider myself lucky until death came knocking on the 25th of December 2009... It was my grandfather and he was laid to rest on the 31st of December, his birthday.

I loved that man so much, he was like my second father... Whenever I'd visit, he'd fill the fridge with all my favorite snacks and dairy products... He'd also cook for me whenever my grandmother wasn't around and the man was not such a bad cook.

Well, at least he was an old man and as we were moving on, my brother past away on the 2nd of February 2010 and was laid to rest on the 8th of February... It wasn't easy, I was still young then and I'd sometimes have nightmares... My parents had to move me to their bedroom for a while... The whole thing still affects me even today because whenever I hear that a loved one is sick, I'd panic.

On three occasions I suffered a panic attack in public and it was so embarrassing... First time was at the school of law, I had went there to consult with one of my lecturers when I contacted my sister to ask her about our father because I couldn't get hold of him all morning... When she told me that he was hospitalized, at first I acted calm... But immediately I hung up the phone, I started panicking and one of the lecturers who was passing by noticed that I wasn't okay.

He came to me and asked me what was wrong, but I couldn't speak... He then called the school's principal administrator and together they took me to the administrator's office... They got me a glass of water and tried to get me to calm down and after a while, I was finally able to speak and told them what was wrong... They then asked for my father's contact details so they could call him just to ensure me that everything was going to be fine... He finally picked up the call and he ensured me that he was going to be okay and that I shouldn't worry much.

The second time was back then when my sister had issues with fibroids, sometimes her condition would be so severe, I'd be afraid that I might lose her like I lost my brother... One time I was at the library when I started crying... I thought studying would keep my mind occupied, but I was wrong.

And the last time I panicked in public was at my grandmother's funeral... From the day her death was announced, I didn't cry because I thought she was old and it was her time, but I guess I was just being in denial of her death because all the emotions came crashing on the day of the funeral, I even passed out and woke up in the clinic.

Ever since my brother's death, I'm always afraid whenever someone close to me isn't feeling well... They say time heals all wounds, but as for me I don't know, I feel like I haven't gotten over my brother's death because whenever someone doesn't feel well, I always fear that the person is gonna die like he did.

Lost my dad 2013,he drove himself to the hospital and never came back…….we were young when it happened.
Our lives turned around….there is nothing worst than not having a father in a family…being at the mercy of uncles.
Even up till now…we still feel the space he left….it hindered a lot in our lives but we keep pushing…..we suppose don go far pass like this but it is all good.

Samantha124:
There was a time I was like you, I had not lost a loved one and I used to consider myself lucky until death came knocking on the 25th of December 2009... It was my grandfather and he was laid to rest on the 31st of December, his birthday.

I loved that man so much, he was like my second father... Whenever I'd visit, he'd fill the fridge with all my favorite snacks and dairy products... He'd also cook for me whenever my grandmother wasn't around and the man was not such a bad cook.

Well, at least he was an old man and as we were moving on, my brother past away on the 2nd of February 2010 and was laid to rest on the 8th of February... It wasn't easy, I was still young then and I'd sometimes have nightmares... My parents had to move me to their bedroom for a while... The whole thing still affects me even today because whenever I hear that a loved one is sick, I'd panic.

On three occasions I suffered a panic attack in public and it was so embarrassing... First time was at the school of law, I had went there to consult with one of my lecturers when I contacted my sister to ask her about our father because I couldn't get hold of him all morning... When she told me that he was hospitalized, at first I acted calm... But immediately I hung up the phone, I started panicking and one of the lecturers who was passing by noticed that I wasn't okay.

He came to me and asked me what was wrong, but I couldn't speak... He then called the school's principal administrator and together they took me to the administrator's office... They got me a glass of water and tried to get me to calm down and after a while, I was finally able to speak and told them what was wrong... They then asked for my father's contact details so they could call him just to ensure me that everything was going to be fine... He finally picked up the call and he ensured me that he was going to be okay and that I shouldn't worry much.

The second time was back then when my sister had issues with fibroids, sometimes her condition would be so severe, I'd be afraid that I might lose her like I lost my brother... One time I was at the library when I started crying... I thought studying would keep my mind occupied, but I was wrong.

And the last time I panicked in public was at my grandmother's funeral... From the day her death was announced, I didn't cry because I thought she was old and it was her time, but I guess I was just being in denial of her death because all the emotions came crashing on the day of the funeral, I even passed out and woke up in the clinic.

Ever since my brother's death, I'm always afraid whenever someone close to me isn't feeling well... They say time heals all wounds, but as for me I don't know, I feel like I haven't gotten over my brother's death because whenever someone doesn't feel well, I always fear that the person is gonna die like he did.

Wow Sam, I didn't want to respond to this I just wanted you to know that your stories touched me so deeply, I even had tears in my eyes. I hope someday you will be ok and be able to overcome the fear of losing people close to you.

I was in Stellenbosch in 2010 and heard my mom was diagnosed with diabetes and I thought that she was dying, but she is doing ok now and I am relaxed. Thank you for sharing your story.

Lost a very good manchi four(4) days ago. That shit's damn painful.

It's okay, I mean we all gonna die someday and we just need to accept it and move on no matter how difficult it is...

mzansiboy:


Wow Sam, I didn't want to respond to this I just wanted you to know that your stories touched me so deeply, I even had tears in my eyes. I hope someday you will be ok and be able to overcome the fear of losing people close to you.

I was in Stellenbosch in 2010 and heard my mom was diagnosed with diabetes and I thought that she was dying, but she is doing ok now and I am relaxed. Thank you for sharing your story.

I have lost a loved one. How did I cope?

Time my friend, time, it heals. You can't fast-track it, you only have to be patient. And by being patient, I don't mean just waiting for the pains to fade. It is about what you do during those periods.

It is mostly about clearing the fog surrounding the issues of death and letting logic prevail. It is about having an interest in death, study it, and not fear it.

It is the understanding that every single life will die, and there are more dead people than those who are alive. Also, being dead has its advantages. It's saying goodbye to this sorrowful thing called life.

There are folks whose only time they know anything close to peace is when they sleep. As soon as they wake, this life is nothing but sorrows and tragedy. It is for this reason that many countries make it legal to kill yourself (eg The Netherlands).

Where there is light, there is darkness, and where there is life, there is death.

When you mourn the deceased, what you are actually mourning is not their departure, but their earlier departure date. But again, if they died later, would life be fun all through without sorrows for them?

The living are a disgraceful minority to the dead. Of all the humans that have lived on this earth, the living are less than 0.000001 percent of them. If you are religious, philosophical, or even diabolical, all your icons from Amadioha to Sango, Plato, and Mohammed, are all dead.

You that is still alive, is your life without troubles? It might shock you to even know that many people are just scared to end their lives, and if they die naturally, then the burden of suicide is alleviated.

Your death warrant was signed when you were born, and it is only a matter of time before that day will come. We only hope it is a glorious day, and when death smiles at us, we can also look at it and smile back.

pansophist:
I have lost a loved one. How did I cope?

Time my friend, time, it heals. You can't fast-track it, you only have to be patient. And by being patient, I don't mean just waiting for the pains to fade. It is about what you do during those periods.

It is mostly about clearing the fog surrounding the issues of death and letting logic prevail. It is about having an interest in death, study it, and not fear it.

It is the understanding that every single life will die, and there are more dead people than those who are alive. Also, being dead has its advantages. It's saying goodbye to this sorrowful thing called life.

There are folks whose only time they know anything close to peace is when they sleep. As soon as they wake, this life is nothing but sorrows and tragedy. It is for this reason that many countries make it legal to kill yourself (eg The Netherlands).

Where there is light, there is darkness, and where there is life, there is death.

When you mourn the deceased, what you are actually mourning is not their departure, but their earlier departure date. But again, if they died later, would life be fun all through without sorrows for them?

The living are a disgraceful minority to the dead. Of all the humans that have lived on this earth, the living are less than 0.000001 percent of them. If you are religious, philosophical, or even diabolical, all your icons from Jesus to Plato, and Mohammed, are all dead.

You that is still alive, is your life without troubles? It might shock you to even know that many people are just scared to end their lives, and if they die naturally, then the burden of suicide is alleviated.

Your death warrant was signed when you were born, and it is only a matter of time before that day will come. We only hope it is a glorious day, and when death smiles at us, we can also look at it and smile back.

This is deep

pansophist:
I have lost a loved one. How did I cope?

Time my friend, time, it heals. You can't fast-track it, you only have to be patient. And by being patient, I don't mean just waiting for the pains to fade. It is about what you do during those periods.

It is mostly about clearing the fog surrounding the issues of death and letting logic prevail. It is about having an interest in death, study it, and not fear it.

It is the understanding that every single life will die, and there are more dead people than those who are alive. Also, being dead has its advantages. It's saying goodbye to this sorrowful thing called life.

There are folks whose only time they know anything close to peace is when they sleep. As soon as they wake, this life is nothing but sorrows and tragedy. It is for this reason that many countries make it legal to kill yourself (eg The Netherlands).

Where there is light, there is darkness, and where there is life, there is death.

When you mourn the deceased, what you are actually mourning is not their departure, but their earlier departure date. But again, if they died later, would life be fun all through without sorrows for them?

The living are a disgraceful minority to the dead. Of all the humans that have lived on this earth, the living are less than 0.000001 percent of them. If you are religious, philosophical, or even diabolical, all your icons from Jesus to Plato, and Mohammed, are all dead.

You that is still alive, is your life without troubles? It might shock you to even know that many people are just scared to end their lives, and if they die naturally, then the burden of suicide is alleviated.

Your death warrant was signed when you were born, and it is only a matter of time before that day will come. We only hope it is a glorious day, and when death smiles at us, we can also look at it and smile back.

Jesus is alive and not dead please

Matrix137:
Jesus is alive and not dead please

How I go take answer you sef? I weak honestly.

pansophist:
How I go take answer you sef? I weak honestly.

You know there are circumstantial archaeological evidence and historical proof, that you can piece together from logical deduction, to support Jesus' resurrection?

.... now, i'm interested.

saintbillion:
Same question I use to ask.
Until I lost My dad Last month. He's still lying in the morgue.
I'm still hurt and pained, I do think and have sleepless night from the very first day the news was broke to me. His demise has really affected me all way round.
Wanted to create a thread on how to move on after loosing a love one.
I wish I died first b4 my love one. I was always scared of loosing a love one. Now I'm trapped in my fears. What's life, if we live to die? Each time I remember me seeing my dad lying naked in the morgue, I begin the share tears without my knowing, I wish I died first. Pray not to loose ur love ones untimely. It creates a vacuum in your heart which can never filled.

I just have to stay strong for my lovely mother. If I the son could be going through this, what more about her the wife?

we're in the same shoes

ecstasy37:
Just lost my dad on Sunday dunno how to react yet

same here

Can't relate fortunately, haven't lost a love one. There've been instances, where we thought this person was going, but thankfully, they are alive today. I didn't even know what to feel the night my mom called me and said, I should take care of my siblings. I was a bit shaky hearing her struggle to put words together.

Last month, i got a text from sibling No.3 showing me a screenshot of a message he got from some guy telling him to check on sibling No.2. The message showed Sibling No. 2 thanking this guy for his support and their time together. And that, he, the guy, might not hear from him again. Sibling No.2 told the guy he had ingested about 2000 grams of drugs.

I looked behind me.... No signs of drugs on his bed. He is breathing.

How could this be possible? Sibling No.2 had been asleep for hours just behind me. No.2 hadn't showed signs of discomfort and slept very soundly. He had changed positions several times, so, I doubted the information at first. I told No.3 to verify the identity of the guy who sent him the message. He confirmed the connection. I gently began to call No. 2s name, I noticed movements. I was mostly angry. Took a lot of strength to not insult that malafacker!

It has been a sad and traumatic experience for me since I lost my mum at a tender age
I watched her give up the ghost in my very presence and it pained me so much that I couldn't do anything to save her
I prayed so much in my heart, but everything only worsened till she departed
It has not been an easy one truly, everyday I miss her so badly,I feel so lonely and empty
When I come back from each semesters holiday
I don't get anyone to welcome me
But God has been helping
He has been my comfort and strength through life's journey

When I lost my mum in 2010 even though I'm pained to the bone marrow I actually didn't shed a single tear

Mum has beeen on and off sickness, she is a very senior teacher, only next to her school headteacher and couple with family support she actually has money to take care of herself

I've barely finished secondary school and waiting for admission when she died, finishing secondary school and spending more time with her (and at the hospital) opens my eyes to more, to the mental deplorable state of our government hospital

Those doctor at federal medical center, Abeokuta are unkind and unhelpful, we are giving appointment of 10am yet 2pm we're yet to b attended to, when they attend to us they are so cold, less bothered and act like if the sickness didn't cure today, it can cure next year or next 10 year like we are enough lifetime to keep coming to hospital

I've not seen my mom cry but I saw her cry that day ...she cry not because of her sickness not any pain but because of the unnecessary stress the hospital is putting her through

When I lost her, in the deepest part of my soul I felt relieved for her, I somehow console myself that any other feeling from myself is just personal selfishness and betrayal

I still miss her every day, I muster courage physical but deep down I wish she is still here

My mummy, my mummy rest on

Getting seriously sick with Nigeria comatose health services is what I don't wish on my enemy

We cope nooni

Try as much as you can to get up and continue life. Life waits for no one. If you mourn too much and lose your bearing, na you go still suffer am.

We are managing. Everyone here have lost someone.