Lost my wife 2019.....till date am still pain,Ayokite love

Samantha124:
There was a time I was like you, I had not lost a loved one and I used to consider myself lucky until death came knocking on the 25th of December 2009... It was my grandfather and he was laid to rest on the 31st of December, his birthday.

I loved that man so much, he was like my second father... Whenever I'd visit, he'd fill the fridge with all my favorite snacks and dairy products... He'd also cook for me whenever my grandmother wasn't around and the man was not such a bad cook.

Well, at least he was an old man and as we were moving on, my brother past away on the 2nd of February 2010 and was laid to rest on the 8th of February... It wasn't easy, I was still young then and I'd sometimes have nightmares... My parents had to move me to their bedroom for a while... The whole thing still affects me even today because whenever I hear that a loved one is sick, I'd panic.

On three occasions I suffered a panic attack in public and it was so embarrassing... First time was at the school of law, I had went there to consult with one of my lecturers when I contacted my sister to ask her about our father because I couldn't get hold of him all morning... When she told me that he was hospitalized, at first I acted calm... But immediately I hung up the phone, I started panicking and one of the lecturers who was passing by noticed that I wasn't okay.

He came to me and asked me what was wrong, but I couldn't speak... He then called the school's principal administrator and together they took me to the administrator's office... They got me a glass of water and tried to get me to calm down and after a while, I was finally able to speak and told them what was wrong... They then asked for my father's contact details so they could call him just to ensure me that everything was going to be fine... He finally picked up the call and he ensured me that he was going to be okay and that I shouldn't worry much.

The second time was back then when my sister had issues with fibroids, sometimes her condition would be so severe, I'd be afraid that I might lose her like I lost my brother... One time I was at the library when I started crying... I thought studying would keep my mind occupied, but I was wrong.

And the last time I panicked in public was at my grandmother's funeral... From the day her death was announced, I didn't cry because I thought she was old and it was her time, but I guess I was just being in denial of her death because all the emotions came crashing on the day of the funeral, I even passed out and woke up in the clinic.

Ever since my brother's death, I'm always afraid whenever someone close to me isn't feeling well... They say time heals all wounds, but as for me I don't know, I feel like I haven't gotten over my brother's death because whenever someone doesn't feel well, I always fear that the person is gonna die like he did.

Wow ooh 😮 see tear dropping from my eye, ur story touch me die, I lost my dad, I lost my senior sister and my mum is gone 3 years ago, I'm alone in the world, with just my kids no job, God will see us through

Lost my sis 10 years ago. I still think about her most time.

Omo! Losing your loved one to death is the most painful thing on earth, memories alone can make you go mad if you are not strong enough.

☹️

The English vocabulary appears challenging for many due to its extensive size.

Omoor I have never lost anyone close to me until last year October when I lost my aunt and this year I lost my father-in-law, he died two days after I gave birth to my second baby… that shii hit so deep, but time truly heals… I have been eating and partying after those times… for me, it’s time, the longer the time, the lesser the grief…. But I told God that I don’t want death anymore… the least death in my family should be 85yrs…

Infolenka:
The thought of losing a loved one scares the shit out of me. I've been lucky not to have lost anyone close to me. Condolences to those who have.

For those that have lost loved ones in the past, I'm curious to know how you dealed with the loss, especially few days after their death.

Feel free to go into details if you want.

Lost my beautiful mum earlier this year. It still hurts like hell. Still thinking how this coming Christmas would be cos it will be the first without her. Devastating is an understatement to how I feel but I hope with time I will get over the pain of the loss. It will eventually happen to everyone. It's only a question of time. Death is a reminder that we have a finite time to spend on Earth. Let's endeavour to spend it well. She lived a long and fulfilling life and I am eternally grateful to God for having a mother like her.

Ummmmm
I lost my mum in 2021 she died in my hand, lost my dad just yesterday, the pain never go away especially if you love the person but it get better ith time.
Before my mum died I use to think that I'm strong but is a lie,at times I'll just start crying, it's more painful watching your love one dying and you can't do anything. May Allah forgive them of their shortcomings and bless them with Janah

My Grandpa... God!!! I miss him.

I really don't like to remember how he died.

Sent me a message when he knew his time was up, not up to 3mins after I returned with the kola nut, I saw the nurse rolling his bed down a sloppy part in the hospital.

I quickly block the nurse and my uncle (His only son) opened the sheet and saw tears on his eyes.


Abeg!!!

I lost my dad in 2002, it's wasn't easy cz I was just in JSS1, lost my mum 2008 😭😭😭 after my Secondary School. I thought that was the end of it until I lost my fiance in April 2016, I almost ran mad cz we were suppose to go for my introduction in May. The most painful part of it was that he was shot in my presence. He was killed in order to get to his dad who happened to be a politician and he is d only son. Till date, I haven't gotten over him. Their death still hurts 😭😭😭😭 n I feel lonely most times

Samantha124:
There was a time I was like you, I had not lost a loved one and I used to consider myself lucky until death came knocking on the 25th of December 2009... It was my grandfather and he was laid to rest on the 31st of December, his birthday.

I loved that man so much, he was like my second father... Whenever I'd visit, he'd fill the fridge with all my favorite snacks and dairy products... He'd also cook for me whenever my grandmother wasn't around and the man was not such a bad cook.

Well, at least he was an old man and as we were moving on, my brother past away on the 2nd of February 2010 and was laid to rest on the 8th of February... It wasn't easy, I was still young then and I'd sometimes have nightmares... My parents had to move me to their bedroom for a while... The whole thing still affects me even today because whenever I hear that a loved one is sick, I'd panic.

On three occasions I suffered a panic attack in public and it was so embarrassing... First time was at the school of law, I had went there to consult with one of my lecturers when I contacted my sister to ask her about our father because I couldn't get hold of him all morning... When she told me that he was hospitalized, at first I acted calm... But immediately I hung up the phone, I started panicking and one of the lecturers who was passing by noticed that I wasn't okay.

He came to me and asked me what was wrong, but I couldn't speak... He then called the school's principal administrator and together they took me to the administrator's office... They got me a glass of water and tried to get me to calm down and after a while, I was finally able to speak and told them what was wrong... They then asked for my father's contact details so they could call him just to ensure me that everything was going to be fine... He finally picked up the call and he ensured me that he was going to be okay and that I shouldn't worry much.

The second time was back then when my sister had issues with fibroids, sometimes her condition would be so severe, I'd be afraid that I might lose her like I lost my brother... One time I was at the library when I started crying... I thought studying would keep my mind occupied, but I was wrong.

And the last time I panicked in public was at my grandmother's funeral... From the day her death was announced, I didn't cry because I thought she was old and it was her time, but I guess I was just being in denial of her death because all the emotions came crashing on the day of the funeral, I even passed out and woke up in the clinic.

Ever since my brother's death, I'm always afraid whenever someone close to me isn't feeling well... They say time heals all wounds, but as for me I don't know, I feel like I haven't gotten over my brother's death because whenever someone doesn't feel well, I always fear that the person is gonna die like he did.

It was long i had an emotional cry like dis. Brother pls accept my condolences

I can’t keep mute on this, I lost my brother to in a ghastly accident in September 2013, it was a very painful and difficult time for the family, the first time actually I’ve lost someone so close, the trauma that came with it though! I was the last to see him after he borrowed my laptop to use and also the first to see him at the morgue where my own blood brother lay helplessly with flies patching all over his broken/open skull.

Another twist to it was that he never liked coming back home, that was the very first time he touched down in a long time. Only God has all the answers! I pray for healing for any unhealed trauma and masked deep wound on any member of my family.

pansophist:
I have lost a loved one. How did I cope?

Time my friend, time, it heals. You can't fast-track it, you only have to be patient. And by being patient, I don't mean just waiting for the pains to fade. It is about what you do during those periods.

It is mostly about clearing the fog surrounding the issues of death and letting logic prevail. It is about having an interest in death, study it, and not fear it.

It is the understanding that every single life will die, and there are more dead people than those who are alive. Also, being dead has its advantages. It's saying goodbye to this sorrowful thing called life.

There are folks whose only time they know anything close to peace is when they sleep. As soon as they wake, this life is nothing but sorrows and tragedy. It is for this reason that many countries make it legal to kill yourself (eg The Netherlands).

Where there is light, there is darkness, and where there is life, there is death.

When you mourn the deceased, what you are actually mourning is not their departure, but their earlier departure date. But again, if they died later, would life be fun all through without sorrows for them?

The living are a disgraceful minority to the dead. Of all the humans that have lived on this earth, the living are less than 0.000001 percent of them. If you are religious, philosophical, or even diabolical, all your icons from Jesus to Plato, and Mohammed, are all dead.

You that is still alive, is your life without troubles? It might shock you to even know that many people are just scared to end their lives, and if they die naturally, then the burden of suicide is alleviated.

Your death warrant was signed when you were born, and it is only a matter of time before that day will come. We only hope it is a glorious day, and when death smiles at us, we can also look at it and smile back.

Jesus is alive forevermore. I pray he reveals himself to you.

This bring back the pain of seven years ago... Sad that my dad couldn't see me become the doctor I am today after all his sacrifices.
Thank God for all in all!

I've lost my dad.
I've lost my elder sister.
I've lost my immediate elder sister.
It's painful when you don't have siblings.
Still... life goes on.

NaijaGoBetter2:
In opening up about my journey, it feels like a rare opportunity to share the profound twists of fate that shaped my life. Once, my world was a canvas of joy and familial bliss. However, fate dealt a harsh hand—my father's promising journey to France cut short by a sudden, inexplicable demise. A mere complaint of a headache turned into an irreversible chapter of loss, less than ten minutes later.

Tragedy didn't stop there. The day I embarked on my NECO exams marked the heartbreaking departure of my mother, leaving me grappling with exams and grief simultaneously. In the absence of parents, my sister became an anchor—a nurturing figure guiding me through the storm. Yet, cruelly, the day of my first-semester exams inched closer only to snatch her away, leaving me to navigate academia with a heavy heart.

The cycle of sorrow persisted, and the day I began my MSc first-semester exams heralded another blow—the loss of my brother. Each exam season, a poignant reminder of the fragility of life.

Alone, burdened with the weight of cumulative grief, I retreated into introversion. The fear of forming attachments, only to witness them unravel, became an impenetrable barrier to love. The transient nature of daily life morphed into an enduring odyssey of solitude and sorrow.

If only I possessed the narrative prowess, I would weave a tapestry of the emotions, trials, and transformations that have defined my path. Yet, the words fall short, echoing the complexity of a life that morphed from a series of days into a lifetime journey.

Wow ooh 😮, with this ur grammar, ur story was not interesting at all, baba drop ur story in away even a boy on the street will feel that impact,

Altogether sorry for ur lost,

You don't see death just when it comes for you, you meet with Death face to face when it takes someone you love.

Lost my dad 13 years ago, and it still hurts till this day. They say time heals, but I can tell you... There are scars not even time can heal, you just learn to live with the hurt and over time you learn to move inspite of it.

I've lost friends, loved ones, and everytime it ripped open the scar, making it bleed all over again. But then it has taught me a lot...

Death is not the end, it's the beginning. Leaving this plane of existence is just the end of Season 1, Season 2 kicks off when we exit. So do what you can, the best you can, when you can. 500 years from today, we will all become forgotten tales, our stories and deeds will be washed away, ancient relics that will only be found by those who diligently search.

I live by a code now... It is stupid to fear what you can't avoid. We all know that one day we will depart from this world, so the question is, why should we be scared of it?

Everyone dies. Not everyone lives.

On God oOoOO.

Orphans but still kicking

I lost my mother last year and it really devastated me.

My good friend who was coming for my wedding had an accident close to my place and died on the spot.

Life seems to be cold to me and this thread just brought back memories.

I became suicidal and was close to ending it but for my wife.

Raymeg7:


Wow ooh 😮, with this ur grammar, ur story was not interesting at all, baba drop ur story in away even a boy on the street will feel that impact,

Altogether sorry for ur lost,

In simple term

I want to share my story, as I don't think I'll have another chance. My family used to be happy, full of joy. My dad planned to go to France, but a few weeks before his trip, he woke up with a headache and passed away less than 10 minutes later.

Things got worse. My mom died on the first day of my NECO exams, and I was left with my sister, who was like a mom to me. But she passed away on the day I was supposed to start my first-semester exams. Then, my brother died on the first day of my MSc exams.

Now, I'm alone, carrying a heavy heart. I've become an introvert, finding it hard to love anyone because I'm afraid of losing them. What used to be daily journeys turned into a lifetime of loneliness. I wish I could write well to share what I went through before becoming who I am today.

I lost my mum Febuary 25th 2022
I lost my dad October 16th 2022. ( He missed his wife ) basically.

What hurt me in all this was I didn't give them anything to show I appreciate them .

I don't think I cried sufficiently to express the pain.
No time to react. Being a first son..baby boy had to manup.

Basically it feels like an empty hole that can't be filled. Not pain.

Lost my two younger brothers to murder. I tell you you can't imagine the pain.

Lost my wife almost 6 years ago. Still struggling with life without her. It has not been easy. I can't even look at another woman's face. The thought of not seeing her again forever gives me heart bit😟😟😟😟

Brother?

EteBabaagba222:




It was long i had an emotional cry like dis. Brother pls accept my condolences

Now every Christmas I make sure to buy these biscuits because to me they're more than just biscuits, they remind me of my grandfather... He used to buy us these biscuits every Christmas and for me it's just a way of celebrating his life while he was still around with us because he also died on Christmas day.

Raymeg7:


Wow ooh 😮 see tear dropping from my eye, ur story touch me die, I lost my dad, I lost my senior sister and my mum is gone 3 years ago, I'm alone in the world, with just my kids no job, God will see us through

It is well with my Soul.

I lost my mother last year and it really devastated me.

My good friend who was coming for my wedding had an accident close to my place and died on the spot.

Life seems to be cold to me and this thread just brought back memories

I became suicidal and was close to ending it but for my wife.

There's no coping

I sympathize with everyone here that has lost a loved one. I myself, am also a partaker in this unfortunate reality of life. But I want to point out something, those posters who have lost more than one nuclear family members within 1yr or less, should go for cleansing and do proper investigation into why these issues occur in so short a time, I do not think that these are mere coincidences. Nigeria is a very dark society. Peace

[quote author=frank317 post=127126381]

I am an extrovert.... so when i heard my mums death, i was with some friends and when the news came via phone call, i cried and drank myself to stupor... the next day the reality hit and i felt empty, life was sad and meaningless, but she was sick and I consoled myself thinking she is better off than suffering here. I still miss her but it does not hurt as much.

As for my girl... I was engulfed with fear, that she was actually dead after the accident was confirmed and her number was not going. She was a corper traveling home to see her mum. she actually borrowed money to make the journey as allowee no gree come. she intended to visit me after seeing her mum... I never heard from her and it was the most terrifying moment of my life. I still feel the taste of my fears... i even created a page for her here https://www.nairaland.com/1253680/loving-memory
i cried my soul out... and was angry at myself for loving her so
You've really tried, may her soul RIP. With all the good things you've said about her is not possible for you to forget about her at all. Did you tell your wife about her demise?

pansophist:
I have lost a loved one. How did I cope?

Time my friend, time, it heals. You can't fast-track it, you only have to be patient. And by being patient, I don't mean just waiting for the pains to fade. It is about what you do during those periods.

It is mostly about clearing the fog surrounding the issues of death and letting logic prevail. It is about having an interest in death, study it, and not fear it.

It is the understanding that every single life will die, and there are more dead people than those who are alive. Also, being dead has its advantages. It's saying goodbye to this sorrowful thing called life.

There are folks whose only time they know anything close to peace is when they sleep. As soon as they wake, this life is nothing but sorrows and tragedy. It is for this reason that many countries make it legal to kill yourself (eg The Netherlands).

Where there is light, there is darkness, and where there is life, there is death.

When you mourn the deceased, what you are actually mourning is not their departure, but their earlier departure date. But again, if they died later, would life be fun all through without sorrows for them?

The living are a disgraceful minority to the dead. Of all the humans that have lived on this earth, the living are less than 0.000001 percent of them. If you are religious, philosophical, or even diabolical, all your icons from Jesus to Plato, and Mohammed, are all dead.

You that is still alive, is your life without troubles? It might shock you to even know that many people are just scared to end their lives, and if they die naturally, then the burden of suicide is alleviated.

Your death warrant was signed when you were born, and it is only a matter of time before that day will come. We only hope it is a glorious day, and when death smiles at us, we can also look at it and smile back.

You write so damn well bro

CarlosTheJackal:
I lost my mother last year and it really devastated me.

My good friend who was coming for my wedding had an accident close to my place and died on the spot.

Life seems to be cold to me and this thread just brought back memories.

I became suicidal and was close to ending it but for my wife.

Did you go ahead with the wedding at the said date,? How did you handle it

NaijaGoBetter2:

In simple term

I want to share my story, as I don't think I'll have another chance. My family used to be happy, full of joy. My dad planned to go to France, but a few weeks before his trip, he woke up with a headache and passed away less than 10 minutes later.

Things got worse. My mom died on the first day of my NECO exams, and I was left with my sister, who was like a mom to me. But she passed away on the day I was supposed to start my first-semester exams. Then, my brother died on the first day of my MSc exams.

Now, I'm alone, carrying a heavy heart. I've become an introvert, finding it hard to love anyone because I'm afraid of losing them. What used to be daily journeys turned into a lifetime of loneliness. I wish I could write well to share what I went through before becoming who I am today.

Bro you've been through a lot. do you still have any siblings