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Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? - Family - Nairaland

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Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by letstalksense: 7:13am On Dec 27, 2023
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

5 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by Carcholce: 7:25am On Dec 27, 2023
In 2024, one thing I really want to do is to be able to completely avoid threads that has to do with man and woman relationship. I don tire to read these things. Reading posts as these is not helpful to the mind, and if you are not strong minded, it plants hates towards the opposite gender.

OP, sorry for not contributing to help your situation. Happy new year in advance. Extend my greetings to your fiancรฉe!

864 Likes 82 Shares

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by Jeon(f): 7:38am On Dec 27, 2023
Why can't women be polygamous since men are polygamous in nature?.

I always laugh whenever I see complains like this, for fuvk sake men also engage in sexual explore with other ladies, but will get pissed off if the same card is been played on them.


modified:The nonsense justification coming from the weak gender that can't takes what they gave out

66 Likes 16 Shares

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by UnfairLife7(m): 7:43am On Dec 27, 2023
if you're completely faithful with her throughout the period of dating and courtship then you can let go if you wish. However, if you've ever cheated in one way or the other without her notice then you have to overlook and go ahead with the marital plan

203 Likes 21 Shares

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by dawnomike(m): 7:48am On Dec 27, 2023
letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.
It is your life choice to make. No one should make it for you!!!

Good that she was honest in telling you the truth. That is a plus for me.

The next question is this; can you live with the truth?

I hope you'll not marry her now, then you travelled and you call her phone when she is busy or not with her phone. I hope your brain won't start to think of funny funny things that may not be true (e g is she with another man?)

Or she will be just mutual friend with a male colleague and you're thinking; hope they are not having sex.....


The question here is, can you trust her on your part!!!?

210 Likes 16 Shares

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by Romanoff(f): 8:03am On Dec 27, 2023
You didn't tell her you were going through personal challenges and will need some space to sort things put, you just ghosted her. Stop ghosting people, learn to communicate. She probably just assumed herself unattached after you ghosted her and with young girls these days, it's normal.

How do you people say someone is Godly just cause they look a certain way? You'll keep falling for wolves in sheep's clothing if you keep doing this. The bible says "by their fruits, you will know them". Meaning by their actions and behaviour, you will know if they are Godly or not. By your own fruits, are you Godly, by her own fruits, is she Godly? Can two work together unless they agree? Amos 3:3. If you're not Godly, you have no business looking for a Godly woman. If you're still a fornicator, looks like you're on the right path.

110 Likes 9 Shares

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by Chioma1989: 8:04am On Dec 27, 2023
Simple! If you can't live with the truth, let go. If you can't trust her again, let her go. You have to marry someone you are comfortably with and trust, even when you are not around. This sex thing is not about one looking innocent or Godly....sometimes it just happens and everyone moves on. I am sure your anger may be, because you have not "tasted" her and someone did it before you. You may have been reserving her after marriage to do the do and someone else's did it before you. Just let her go so that you don't continue in this your current state of mind. It will keep flashing in your subconscious mind that one nigger somewhere lashed her and you would keep imagining how she was enjoying the action then. Oga, just move on and find someone else and may be, stop asking some personal questions that you may find hard to take the answer.

48 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by Stevenbright(m): 8:11am On Dec 27, 2023
letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

She did something wrong and she is trying to put the blame on you. Why didn't she called you to hear from you instead of making assumptions. Like she said, she has moved on and it is left for you to do the best thing for yourself too.

I can assure you that what she did over there is far worse than what she spilled. So, get ready for more wrongs and the blames put on you as the relationship continues.

158 Likes 13 Shares

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by StartRighttoday: 8:15am On Dec 27, 2023
Chioma1989:
Simple! If you can't live with the truth, let go. If you can't trust her again, let her go. You have to marry someone you are comfortably with and trust, even when you are not around. This sex thing is not about one looking innocent or Godly....sometimes it just happens and everyone moves on. I am sure your anger may be, because you have not "tasted" her and someone did it before you. You may have been reserving her after marriage to do the do and someone else's did it before you. Just let her go so that you don't continue in this your current state of mind. It will keep flashing in your subconscious mind that one nigger somewhere lashed her and you would keep imagining how she was enjoying the action then. Oga, just move on and find someone else and may be, stop asking some personal questions that you may find hard to take the answer.


I second your motion.

6 Likes

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by StartRighttoday: 8:24am On Dec 27, 2023
Romanoff:
You didn't tell her you were going through personal challenges and will need some space to sort things put, you just ghosted her. Stop ghosting people, learn to communicate. She probably just assumed herself unattached after you ghosted her and with young girls these days, it's normal.

How do you people say someone is Godly just cause they look a certain way? You'll keep falling for wolves in sheep's clothing if you keep doing this. The bible says "by their fruits, you will know them". Meaning by their actions and behaviour, you will know if they are Godly or not. By your own fruits, are you Godly, by her own fruits, are you Godly? Can two work together unless they agree? Amos 3:3. If you're not Godly, you have no business looking for a Godly woman. If you're still a fornicator, looks like you're on the right path.

My sister, chop knuckle ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜.
you see that's the point, being an average Christian is the problem of some people and just because they neeeeeed smb they heighten the spirituality of a sister or brother without personal relationship. May be they never consult God over the matter I can bet they were just really on the surface probably never seen each others families. I see no commitment from both sides. Like is this really love ?๐Ÿ˜

4 Likes

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by Nicepoker(m): 8:35am On Dec 27, 2023
Don't marry her. Can't you see she is using reverse psychology on you. And its working.

42 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by Romanoff(f): 8:56am On Dec 27, 2023
StartRighttoday:


My sister, chop knuckle ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜.
you see that's the point, being an average Christian is the problem of some people and just because they neeeeeed smb they heighten the spirituality of a sister or brother without personal relationship. May be they never consult God over the matter I can bet they were just really on the surface probably never seen each others families. I see no commitment from both sides. Like is this really love ?๐Ÿ˜

Before you know, them go dey post "Hide my identity" Upandan.

5 Likes

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by jamesversion: 9:10am On Dec 27, 2023
UnfairLife7:
if you're completely faithful with her throughout the period of dating and courtship then you can let go if you wish. However, if you've ever cheated in one way or the other without her notice then you have to overlook and go ahead with the marital plan

Story Story Story.

It doesn't matter if he has slept with other ladies, his wrong shouldn't cancel her wrong. Human nature is human nature. Some ladies will not cheat, even if their husband/bf is the highest cheat in the world. The truth is simple, if it bothers him that she had sex inside NYSC camp even after his promise of marriage to her, he best walkway. Because he will never forget the cheating and may likely bring an issue for them in future.

35 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by Burgermotors: 9:11am On Dec 27, 2023
Op the question is can you live with the truth or you want to be like the zoo (Nigeria) that arrested nnamdi kalu for saying this truth

But that girl is funny oo just three weeks nysc camp she can not wait

Op make sure you call her everytime so that she will not cheat again,

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by UnfairLife7(m): 9:14am On Dec 27, 2023
jamesversion:


Story Story Story.

It doesn't matter if he has slept with other ladies, his wrong shouldn't cancel her wrong. Human nature is human nature. Some ladies will not cheat, even if their husband/bf is the highest cheat in the world. The truth is simple, if it bothers him that she had sex inside NYSC camp even after his promise of marriage to her, he best walkway. Because he will never forget the cheating and may likely bring an issue for them in future.
Some men too will not cheat even if their wives/GF is the highest cheat in the world. hope that goes well with you? or you have the normal average African man's mentality?

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by jamesversion: 9:24am On Dec 27, 2023
UnfairLife7:
Some men too will not cheat even if their wives/GF is the highest cheat in the world. hope that goes well with you? or you have the normal average African man's mentality?

The Indian woman who pays her husbands groom price has earned the right to cheat in her marriage. If I pay your bride price, expunge any such idea from your mind and head. Because if you do, they way I will embarrass you out of my house, you are certain not to get married to any man again. I will even say you learnt it from your mother.

7 Likes

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by UnfairLife7(m): 9:34am On Dec 27, 2023
jamesversion:


The Indian woman who pays her husbands groom price has earned the right to cheat in her marriage. If I pay your bride price, expunge any such idea from your mind and head. Because if you do, they way I will embarrass you out of my house, you are certain not to get married to any man again. I will even say you learnt it from your mother.
FYI, i am not a woman so don't think every average Nigerian man reason or has same mentality as yours. I am not in India so i wouldn't say if the wife cheat or not on the basis of bride price.

Reason why Africa will forever be underdeveloped and remain a 3rd world nation. Same you will change your wack mentality the moment you cross murtala international airport. why don't you take that same mentality with you like MTN, everywhere you go?

Even Bible frown against fornication and adultery for both gender, but an average man from a 3rd world nation said otherwise and you keep wondering why they remain backward, underdeveloped and blessed with useless leaders

18 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by tiswell(m): 10:36am On Dec 27, 2023
Just know that the coper she fvcked during nysc will always have access to her kpekus even after marriage, whenever their parts cross.


Okafor's law nor be ya mate.


Just abort the mission of marriage with her asap.

30 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by DARLINGTON869(m): 12:25pm On Dec 27, 2023
H
Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by omenka1: 12:26pm On Dec 27, 2023
My brother, u might be dealing with a LovePeddler in a nun's clothing. Though seems u weren't in a serious relationship with her before she left for nysc.
The choice is all yours to make, and the outcome is all yours to bear.

3 Likes

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by ogododo: 12:26pm On Dec 27, 2023
letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

Bros marry if your mind fit live with de past. No be angel you go marry ooo.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by payaseriy: 12:26pm On Dec 27, 2023
Nor go reason those big grama advise o

Okpo na Okpo. For that gal to yarn u that small one, na be say she don over do many tinz wey u nor know.

Imagine how the small boy take Carry her two legs up and dig her leg. Imagine how she take dey scream "baby fuk me harder". And he nor go even spend dime sef... everybody dey chop her free of charge bt na u be the emekpa wey go put her for house

God Forbid

30 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by iwaeda: 12:27pm On Dec 27, 2023
letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

The mind is a dangerous thing to over look. It is better you give yourself space to iron things out. Nevertheless, trust her for the honesty to tell you the truth, from her body manner, she didn't enjoy the affair in camp. But if you will always revert to this any time you quarrel, LET HER GO please. Forgive and forget, if you truly want to marry her. grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by SmartyPants(m): 12:27pm On Dec 27, 2023
Jeon:
Why can't women be polygamous since men are polygamous in nature?.

I always laugh whenever I see complains like this, for fuvk sake men also engage in sexual explore with other ladies, but will get pissed off if the same card is been played on them.

Do you have some information to show that this particular guy was also unfaithful? If not, what is the point of your rant??

2 Likes

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by nairalee(m): 12:27pm On Dec 27, 2023
Yes kwontinu
Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by inoki247: 12:28pm On Dec 27, 2023
Lol will you guy's rest from all this type of thread by 2024...



Talk Abt money matter nd aw people can learn one or two things cause you know the answer to this ur question buh you still need NL folks to be the one to tell you what to du....

4 Likes

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by atobs4real(m): 12:28pm On Dec 27, 2023
The lady who openly told u such wants you to discontinue the relationship.
How u go hear that and digest it is like...

8 Likes

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by Skillsnigeria: 12:29pm On Dec 27, 2023
Hmmm, I don't do secondhand ladies

2 Likes

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by princefunm: 12:29pm On Dec 27, 2023
letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

I think you have your answer already.

You are in love and are in a raging battle as to whether to go on or not.

Dude, that feeling you are having, that pain and heartbreak you feel, that sense of loss you are trying to dodge, they will fade away with time. You won't even remember what it feels like to love her.

I will tell you point blank.

Dump her. She is going to do it again and again and again. And you won't know.

Dump her and heal. You will heal. And you will be grateful you did.

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Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by atobs4real(m): 12:29pm On Dec 27, 2023
The lady who openly told u such wants you to discontinue the relationship.
How u go hear that and digest it is like...
For me, it seems she is in love with someone in camp

13 Likes

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by NaughtyBrainiac: 12:29pm On Dec 27, 2023
At Letstalksense, it all depends on you as a man.

It depends on the things that matter to you when it comes to this marriage thing.


Some men don't want to marry women that have high body counts, some men don't mind.

Some men don't want a woman that cannot go months without sex, some men don't mind.

Some men don't want a woman that gives her body to men easily, some men don't mind.

We are in 2024, I still know some men that will only marry a virgin(Yes, we still have virgins, both male and female), some men don't mind if a woman has been with 100 men.

It all depends on what you want.

It seems like you are worried, which means you are a man that prefers a woman that preserves her body.

For her ro be in a sexual relationship with someone during NYSC means she is a Lady that sees nothing wrong in Friends With Benefits, means she is not big on preserving her body.

My advice is for you to take your time to study her better, if possible, investigate her properly to know who she really is when it comes to how well she preserves her body.

Your findings will determine the next line of action.

5 Likes

Re: Please Should Continue My Marriage Plan With Her After Hearing This? by omoadeleye(m): 12:29pm On Dec 27, 2023
Carcholce:
In 2024, one thing I really want to do is to be able to completely avoid threads that has to do with man and woman relationship. I don tire to read these things. Reading posts as these is not helpful to the mind, and if you are not strong minded, it plants hates towards the opposite gender.

OP, sorry for not contributing to help your situation. Happy new year in advance. Extend my greetings to your fiancรฉe!



Nice input

2 Likes

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