Is it such a bad idea though? I mean, to actually want separate bedrooms from your husband? Maybe his room bigger, the Master bedroom to accommodate both parties but another smaller separate room for wifey....just saying.

An intending couple got into a heated argument just a few weeks before their wedding when during a conversation the wife stated that she wanted her own bedroom. The man didn't take it to heart at first assuming she was joking, but soon enough realized the pretty lady wasn't joking at all. She meant every word of it. This ensued in a huge argument that dragged on for days. Members of the family and friends even got involved at some point. I remember my dad calling to ask me how I felt about the whole situation, my answer was pretty much simple- Give the young lady what she wants.

Hear me out!!!

Firstly, the space is not an issue, its not like they need to go buy or rent another house to accommodate this arrangement. They own a house of their own that has enough rooms that nobody uses.
Secondly, her reasons are very valid, which probably would be my reasons too. We don't always want to talk, be cuddled or argue, sometimes we just need our space to think clearly and enjoy the solitude. She went ahead to say she doesn't like herself during her menstrual phase so she stays away from everyone, doesn't go to work, she is just indoor writhing in pain and consoling herself. She would like to continue with that without having to bother or lash out at her husband simply because she is in pain. She made him understand that he is only fighting it because he has been conditioned traditionally that they must have the same room. However, if he is been truthful to himself he would realize that alone times can't be bought with money, doesn't mean they don't love each other anymore, it just means there is a need for recharge.

Her other reason was she wouldn't want her siblings or very close friends to ever have a reason to step into their matrimonial bedroom, which is the husband's room.
Her last reason, very valid too, is that she is quite a clumsy person, she looks for one outfit for the day and the whole place is upside down, her husband however is very neat freak and loves everything exactly how they should be. She said she wants to have her freedom and be able to have her things in a separate room, that way her mess is out of his face.

I personally think its a great idea for a woman to have a separate room that is hers, she can decorate it to her taste, have her me times, like her own closet. Even though most of the night I will be in my husband's room cuddled up, cos what is sleep without my man. But I'd love to know the option is there for me when I need to be alone for whatever reason. Moreso, the room is not going to be out of bound to my husband, he can always come in whenever he wants, the bed will be big enough for two, just incase the HS ministers to us right there....lol

Nonsense! That means she is incompatible with the man.

Just admit that you don't understand the meaning of marriage and the level of commitment that is required in marriage. Anybody, whether male or female, who plans to not share a room with his or her future spouse will not be commited and sincere in the marriage. The inability or the unwillingness to share one room clearly means incompatibility. Quote me anywhere.

All the reasons presented in this article are childish. Only two of those reasons appear a bit reasonable but are not enough for someone not to share one room with his or her spouse. Let me address those two reasons.

1.
Menstrual pain:
When she battles with the menstrual pain in her separate room, is the husband expected to check on her? If yes, why should she have a separate room? Is it not easier for the husband to check on her when they share the same room? Or should he not check on her? If yes, who will be blamed if she becomes unconscious and something goes wrong? If pregnancy disturbs her and she vomits and becomes too weak to feed herself or put her room in order, will the husband be expected to take care of her in the situation? If yes, it is wrong for her to use menstrual pain as an excuse to have a separate room. If unfortunately she becomes bedridden to urinate and defecate in bed, will the husband be expected to take care of her? If yes, why should she use menstrual pain as an excuse to have a separate room?

2.
Giving her siblings and her friends access to her own room:
What will a married woman keep or do in her matrimonial home that her husband is not worthy to know but her siblings and her friends are worthy to know? Answer this very question if you are not supporting infidelity in marriage. Remember that infidelity is not only about sex.

Every other reason presented in the article is very silly. You know that you keep rooms untidy but you are not willing to adjust and learn how to tidy up your room. You now want to use that bad attitude as an excuse to have a separate room. Any adult that identifies his or her weakness and is not willing to work on it is very insincere and manipulative. Quote me anywhere.

One funny thing here is that you want a separate room but will not want a co-wife.😀 It is in a polygamous marriage that each wife lives in a separate room and gets visited by the husband when it is her turn to satisfy him. You don't want polygamy but you want a polygamous monogamy. Inconsistent humans.

I support separate bedroom in marriage

I support separate bedrooms .At least one suppose to have a private space and time.
No be everytime I go dy inhale someone's breathe, odour, or fart.

Her reasons her valid sure but what about the man's reason for not wanting separate bedrooms? No body cares what the want thinks or do you feel he's just saying no for no particular reason?

Separate bedrooms, OK.
But there must be only one bed.

Magnetic010:
Her reasons her valid sure but what about the man's reason for not wanting separate bedrooms? No body cares what the want thinks or do you feel he's just saying no for no particular reason?

The man is obviously a traditional man and wired in a certain way. If he doesn't like the idea, he should take a bow. It's not by force.

Separate bedrooms in marriage is nonsense!
Couples who have separate bedrooms will hardly be able to resolve issues in their marriage (quickly).
Whoever wants a separate bedroom in marriage is selfish and simply not ready for marriage.

I didn't know issue of room can be a problem to a man. Most men who build houses usually include a room for their wife. Some who can afford renting enough space give madam a room, but here is a man, whining over nothing. Way back, my mum had her room, so the so called tradition that couples must share a room is not true. Lack of money is what make couples squeeze themselves into one room.

Majority of well to do modern women have huge baggages of clothes, shoes, make-up tables etc, so what size of room would be enough to contain a rich woman's properties?.

After marriage she can always go stay in another room to have her quiet time, or would he not allow it? Looks like the man is a narcissist.

Jeon:
I support separate bedrooms .At least one suppose to have a private space and time.
No be everytime I go dy inhale someone's breathe, odour, or fart.

Separate bedrooms are for men that hates irritating things from women



Women are disgusting in the same bedroom

For me I don't have any issue with separate bedrooms
The disadvantage is that when there is a misunderstanding, the matter might linger for long as they won't resolve it easier and more....

All these excuses are not a valid one
I don't know why married couples should be looking for space
Why get married in the first place? It definitely means she was never ready for marriage

As a husband, you should insist on separate bedroom. Even though I made my wife's room way more comfortable than mine with all gadgets that money can buy, she still insists on sleeping in my bedroom, and the thing dey pain me. I wanna meditate all night and soul travel without someone disrupting my psychic adventures in different realms with cuddling.

LilMissFavvy:
I didn't know issue of room can be a problem to a man. Most men who build houses usually include a room for their wife. Some who can afford renting enough space give madam a room, but here is a man, whining over nothing. Way back, my mum had her room, so the so called tradition that couples must share a room is not true. Lack of money is what make couples squeeze themselves into one room.

Majority of well to do modern women have huge baggages of clothes, shoes, make-up tables etc, so what size of room would be enough to contain a rich woman's properties?.

After marriage she can always go stay in another room to have her quiet time, or would he not allow it? Looks like the man is a narcissist.

Which one is majority of well to do modern women
Talking about bags, shoes and clothes
Is that all you care about?

I dy shame for you

That yeye wife is hiding something from her husband. The husband shouldn't agree to her demands

One thing is certain, one room will be very busy while the other will be like a museum.

If both can afford separate rooms, no need to argue up and down.

Mariangeles:
Separate bedrooms in marriage is nonsense!
Couples who have separate bedrooms will hardly be able to resolve issues in their marriage (quickly).
Whoever wants a separate bedroom in marriage is selfish and simply not ready for marriage.

Hmm..how true is this?

1Sharon:


Hmm..how true is this?

Very true.

Maybe she is ready to go back to her father's house and al monies spent be returned

immortalcrown:
Nonsense!

Just admit that you don't understand the meaning of marriage and the level of commitment that is required for marriage. Anybody, whether male or female, who does not want to share a room with his or her spouse is not commited and sincere in the marriage. Quote me anywhere.

All the reasons presented in this article are childish. Only two of those reasons appear a bit reasonable but are not enough for someone not to share one room with his or her spouse. Let me address those two reasons.

1.
Menstrual pain:
When she battles with the menstrual pain in her separate room, is the husband expected to check on her? If yes, why should she have a separate room? Is it not easier for the husband to check on her when they share the same room? Or should he not check on her? If yes, who will be blamed if she becomes unconscious and something goes wrong? If pregnancy disturbs her and she vomits and becomes too weak to feed herself or put her room in order, will the husband be expected to take care of her in the situation? If yes, it is wrong for her to use menstrual pain as an excuse to have a separate room. If unfortunately she becomes bedridden to urinate and defecate in bed, will the husband be expected to take care of her? If yes, why should she use menstrual pain as an excuse to have a separate room?

2.
Giving her siblings and her friends access to her own room:
What will a married woman keep or do in her matrimonial home that her husband is on worthy to know but her siblings and her friends are worthy to know? Answer this very question if you are not supporting infidelity in marriage. Remember that infidelity is not only about sex.

Every other reason presented in the article is very silly. You know that you you keep rooms untidy but you are not willing to adjust and learn how to tidy up your room. You now want to use that bad attitude as an excuse to have a separate room. Any adult that identifies his or her weakness and is not willing to work on it is very insincere.

God bless you my brother, you really did a very clean job hear

Having different indeed, op was even being sentimental

This topic is dead on arrival and does not include a large percentage of Nigerians.

Make I ask self;
Na how many Nigerians build houses of their own?

We4all:


The man is obviously a traditional man and wired in a certain way. If he doesn't like the idea, he should take a bow. It's not by force.

didn't she notice he was a traditional man and rigged before agreeing to marry him?

Can't even imagine myself sharing a bedroom with wifey... With their every minute drama? Naaa! You have to come when I need you

Oga give her wants she wants and get another to warm your bed on her days off. Don't be misled by Adeboye's many lies

C

Na you suppose dey make that move... It's good though

The lady clearly doesn't know the meaning of marriage and the intending husband for his own destiny and sake should look elsewhere and as for u supporting the lady try study the meaning of marriage and get the concept of it,try start ur research with NO BOUNDARIES AS TWO BECOMES ONE,the problem we have today that causes divorce is people who are not mentally fit for marriage or doesn't understand the meaning of it wanting it

I like this idea. E no good to dey see your wife every time. She go quick ugly for my eyes.
Too much familiarity.

I love this woman already.

Not a big deal.....

Not everything should come to social media....... Simple understanding can easily solve this minor issue between the husband and the wife ..

Perfect idea!

There's a difference between having a separate room and sleeping together.

If she will have her separate room and sleep with her husband, then, there's no issue. But is she wants to have her room and still sleep in that room while husband sleeps in another room, it's a red flag.

She wants to be doing dirty chats with her ex-boyfriends. She might even be a l*sbian.