[right][/right] My immediate younger Brother seems not to like me!! It is obvious from his actions and in actions a,,
This was a boy l paid his first Jamb form , bought his first phone and is planning to help sponsor him through the university,, He will never use his phone to call me, will never open up to me about anything going on in his life,, Even a birthday wish on social media he won't do it, yet he does it for others ...
I have live long enough on this earth to understand Blood is not thicker than water,, Families are those who love and care for you and not Just blood relationship..
He have the right to choose who he want to relate with, l also feel like l should be careful on how l spend money on a hater,,,
I want to withdraw every financial support l have towards him and invest it on my other siblings who values their Elder brother,, just don't know how to handle my mother emotional manipulations...
Please any one in this situation how have u handled it?
Besides l have spoken to him severally about this!!

you cant force someone to love/like you, nor can you buy their love... if thats the way he feels then so be it and focus on other members of your family who value your help and are grateful to your contribution.

Vikto17:
My immediate younger Brother seems not to like me!! It is obvious from his actions and in actions a,,
This was a boy l paid his first Jamb form , bought his first phone and is planning to help sponsor him through the university,, He will never use his phone to call me, will never open up to me about anything going on in his life,, Even a birthday wish on social media he won't do it, yet he does it for others ...
I have live long enough on this earth to understand Blood is not thicker than water,, Families are those who love and care for you and not Just blood relationship..
He have the right to choose who he want to relate with, l also feel like l should be careful on how l spend money on a hater,,,
I want to withdraw every financial support l have towards him and invest it on my other siblings who values their Elder brother,, just don't know how to handle my mother emotional manipulations...
Please any one in this situation how have u handled it?
Besides l have spoken to him severally about this!!

This is a delicate matter...
Call a family meeting with your siblings and mum to address the situation.

Life is not hard and it's not a 1+1 =2 situation.

That He doesn't call or send Sms doesn't mean he doesn't love you.
Hope say he no dey take something Sha?

do you want value or respect from your younger brother because all this you mention now i dont see any sign of hate their... is like you dont no the meaning of hate. dont pray for it someone who hate you wont collect something from you...

1.
You can compel obedience, not love. So, be happy, irrespective of who doesn't love you.

2.

Vikto17:
I want to withdraw every financial support l have towards him and invest it on my other siblings who values their Elder brother

There is a difference between helping someone and trying to buy love from someone.

If you do something for someone without expecting anything in return, that is help. But if you do something for someone and expects something in return, that is not help.

Doing something for your brother with a condition that he should show you love means you are not helping him. You are just trying to loby for his love.

I understand your concerns and feelings. It's painful when family members, especially siblings, don't appreciate or reciprocate love and support. You've done a lot for your brother, and his indifference and lack of gratitude are hurtful.

Firstly, acknowledge that you've tried addressing the issue with him directly, which shows you care about your relationship. Since that hasn't worked, consider the following steps:

1. *Re-evaluate your financial support*: It's fair to reassess how you allocate your resources. Consider redirecting support to siblings who value and appreciate your efforts.
2. *Set boundaries*: If you choose to continue supporting your brother, establish clear expectations and consequences for not meeting them.
3. *Don't internalize his behavior*: Remember that his actions reflect his own character, not yours. You've shown kindness and generosity; don't let his behavior define your self-worth.
4. *Prepare for mother's reaction*: Anticipate your mother's potential emotional response and plan how to address her concerns. Explain your perspective and feelings calmly, emphasizing your desire to support those who appreciate your efforts.
5. *Seek support for yourself*: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor about your feelings and experiences. They can offer valuable guidance and emotional support.

Remember, you deserve respect and appreciation from those you support. Prioritize your own emotional well-being and make decisions that align with your values and needs.

Vikto17:
My immediate younger Brother seems not to like me!! It is obvious from his actions and in actions a,,
This was a boy l paid his first Jamb form , bought his first phone and is planning to help sponsor him through the university,, He will never use his phone to call me, will never open up to me about anything going on in his life,, Even a birthday wish on social media he won't do it, yet he does it for others ...
I have live long enough on this earth to understand Blood is not thicker than water,, Families are those who love and care for you and not Just blood relationship..
He have the right to choose who he want to relate with, l also feel like l should be careful on how l spend money on a hater,,,
I want to withdraw every financial support l have towards him and invest it on my other siblings who values their Elder brother,, just don't know how to handle my mother emotional manipulations...
Please any one in this situation how have u handled it?
Besides l have spoken to him severally about this!!

”blood is not thicker than water”, very important message. Bro, comot your hand for him matter. No listen to Wetin anyone go talk

immortalcrown:
1.
You can compel obedience, not love. So, be happy, irrespective of who doesn't love you.

2.
[sub][/sub]There is a difference between helping someone and trying to buy love from someone.

If you do something for someone without expecting anything in return, that is help. But if you do something for someone and expects something in return, that is not help.

Doing something for your brother with a condition that he should show you love means you are not helping him. You are just trying to loby for his love.

l don't want to lobby for his love,, l just want to make sure my investments is going to someone who values it,, the resources aren't that much that l should keep wasting it on someone l have to loby for their love ... Any way thanks a lot for the input

emma2002:
I understand your concerns and feelings. It's painful when family members, especially siblings, don't appreciate or reciprocate love and support. You've done a lot for your brother, and his indifference and lack of gratitude are hurtful.

Firstly, acknowledge that you've tried addressing the issue with him directly, which shows you care about your relationship. Since that hasn't worked, consider the following steps:

1. *Re-evaluate your financial support*: It's fair to reassess how you allocate your resources. Consider redirecting support to siblings who value and appreciate your efforts.
2. *Set boundaries*: If you choose to continue supporting your brother, establish clear expectations and consequences for not meeting them.
3. *Don't internalize his behavior*: Remember that his actions reflect his own character, not yours. You've shown kindness and generosity; don't let his behavior define your self-worth.
4. *Prepare for mother's reaction*: Anticipate your mother's potential emotional response and plan how to address her concerns. Explain your perspective and feelings calmly, emphasizing your desire to support those who appreciate your efforts.
5. *Seek support for yourself*: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor about your feelings and experiences. They can offer valuable guidance and emotional support.

Remember, you deserve respect and appreciation from those you support. Prioritize your own emotional well-being and make decisions that align with your values and needs.

God Bless you bro,, thank you very much

With due respect oga u have way too much of feminine genes, u don't know or understand how men love lol, see e get people wey d mind every second of the day but i no be much show of lovy dovy type, brotherly love dy different oga, me n my senior bro hardly talk or chat but na my nigga.

Zubeezanga:
With due respect oga u have way too much of feminine genes, u don't know or understand how men love lol, see e get people wey d mind every second of the day but i no be much show of lovy dovy type, brotherly dy different oga, me n senior bro hardly talk or chat buh na my nigga.

But he does it with other people? If that is generally his nature l won't be complaining,,, so ur senior bro can a whole year without calling u if u don't call him,, doesn't tell u about anything going on in his life and doesn't care to know what is going on in your own life? Until when he needs money and assistance then your mum call on his behalf... Bro l don't fancy such kind of relationship

Cut him off jare. When hunger deals with him, he would come back to his senses.

He doesn't hate you, he just doesn't rate you or he's a total introvert and a loner. People like that find it very hard to open up to others.

Family is Family. As the elder bro, you have to be the bigger person. Keep staying connected to him.. When he's older and wiser he'll appreciate you better.

By the way you don't need his love.. but his appreciation and respect. Don't react, give him time.. if after he's 40 years and older, and still acts this way, then you can respond.

That's a normal sibling to sibling relationship there. Be worried if he doesn't (lol).

@op, you are reasoning like a teenager. He didn't see any reason to do that cos you are in front of his nose.


I thought my brother hated me untill I left home and discovered he's so much in love with me.

Then hate him back?

Hate is a very strong word.

Many people, especially Nigerians tend to interchange “dislike” with the word “hate”, but the intensity and meaning of these words in expressing emotions are different.

“Dislike” is the proper word to use in this case.

Your younger brother may tend to dislike you.

Trust me, if it’s hate, there will be noticeable hostility, insolence, disrespect and other negatives.

You should first try to understand the reason for this behavior before labeling it as anything further.

What I see is that you noticed his lack of courtesy, lack of appreciation and then avoidance towards you.

Shalom

Firstly, what's your relationship with him from childhood.

What i mean is, have you two been really close friends from small? It's one thing you to be my brother, then another thing for we to be flowing together. This has nothing to do with age gap.

One of my brother while i was growing up, never visit home that often. He do stay 5 years or more before coming home. Each time he comes, we the last ones weren't connecting that much with him. Our relationship with him was more of fear of him.

He wasn't helping matters either, always harsh on on us, the freedom we have with other senior brothers are not there with him. So till date, I can spend one month with him in same house and we won't gist like brothers. Even though, we all are grown now....…...

Oga continue to play your role as the senior in the house. Are you aware of what psychologists referred to as youthful exuberant? Whenever these guys are at this stage, they feel they are on top of the world. Most of the things they assumed to be real is just a mirage.

So, make sure that boy goes through the four wall. By the time he is through and started paying bills, he will be paying homages to you weekly.

I have a younger brother like that too but today, he buys clothes and expensive things and send to me. He even told his girlfriend that I am his dad. The girl used to call me big daddy

^^^^^ on the other hand, check yourself very well, there must be something you are doing wrong and he may not know how to put it to you, or you are not heeding his advice.

Smae brother of mine that was always eager to pane beat us for any slight wrong doing is someone I have come to know he leaves the worst version of life he preach to us against.

80% of his way of life is nothing to write home about, and he would never take any advice from me his younger one. This has made me restrict my relationship with him. I'm not happy with his lifestyle but i do not hate him.

I only avoid as much as possible, having anything serious with him. That doesn't mean I hate him. In fact, I hate the fact that he hates himself.


So baba, check yourself well well. You fit be the problem. Even from your write up, you want to abandon your brother because he doesn't post you on social media.

What if he was to be your biological son, who you go leave am for?

Family is not always what we desire, but family is always going to be family!

Blood will always be thicker than water!

If you feel your younger brother hates you, then you should be asking yourself what you did to earn his animosity...!

Have a sit down with him, and talk like men...! Get all issues on the table! Involve an elder if possible (very advisable).


Don't let pride overwhelm both of you... Being the bigger man and brother isn't always easy. Sometimes, we have to even stoop to conquer.

For all you know, he might be going through mental issues that might require your intervention... Don't make conclusions from a distance.


This same kid might become a strong backbone for you tomorrow... The future is never black and white!


When you have done all these reconciliatory moves, and he stays aloof and hateful, then you have earned the conscience to keep him where he belongs!

But, in all you do, never burn bridges with Flesh and Blood...! E get why!!!

Happy Sunday All!

Don't stop supporting him pls.
I have a brother that's like that too he will never call to say thank you even I send him 200k. All the little help I have rendered to him no appreciation at all from him but I won't stop cus he's my brother and I change that.

Vikto17:
[right][/right] My immediate younger Brother seems not to like me!! It is obvious from his actions and in actions a,,
This was a boy l paid his first Jamb form , bought his first phone and is planning to help sponsor him through the university,, He will never use his phone to call me, will never open up to me about anything going on in his life,, Even a birthday wish on social media he won't do it, yet he does it for others ...
I have live long enough on this earth to understand Blood is not thicker than water,, Families are those who love and care for you and not Just blood relationship..
He have the right to choose who he want to relate with, l also feel like l should be careful on how l spend money on a hater,,,
I want to withdraw every financial support l have towards him and invest it on my other siblings who values their Elder brother,, just don't know how to handle my mother emotional manipulations...
Please any one in this situation how have u handled it?
Besides l have spoken to him severally about this!!

Brotherhood is tough🤷🏽‍♂️ sometimes that's just how it's No one is willing to show emotions towards his brother. Especially when you guys don't normally see each other, sometimes because of education and work, brothers might not see for years and that makes them so distant. Finance is not relationship, if you want to create that relationship, be the bridge, talk to him and tell him how you feel. That's a bigger solution

Please follow the way of peace

Vikto17:
[right][/right] My immediate younger Brother seems not to like me!! It is obvious from his actions and in actions a,,
This was a boy l paid his first Jamb form , bought his first phone and is planning to help sponsor him through the university,, He will never use his phone to call me, will never open up to me about anything going on in his life,, Even a birthday wish on social media he won't do it, yet he does it for others ...
I have live long enough on this earth to understand Blood is not thicker than water,, Families are those who love and care for you and not Just blood relationship..
He have the right to choose who he want to relate with, l also feel like l should be careful on how l spend money on a hater,,,
I want to withdraw every financial support l have towards him and invest it on my other siblings who values their Elder brother,, just don't know how to handle my mother emotional manipulations...
Please any one in this situation how have u handled it?
Besides l have spoken to him severally about this!!

I don't know why, but this is quite funny

Elder brother seeking for love from younger brother?

Wonders shall never end!