I have heard about families conducting marriage ceremonies with the images (photos) of their children because they couldn't come down for the ceremony. I have also heard of situations where the woman gets married to the guy's pix or d guy's brother cos he couldn't make it.

I saw a pix of a wedding like dat yesterday. A traditional wedding picture of the bride with the photo of the suppossed husband. This really got to me. I doubt I can ever agree to do such. I can't even do such. Who signs the marriage Cert on behalf of the groom? Who does she exchange the marriage vows with? I can't just imagine me agreeing to do dat kinda thing.

I think it's somehow. What do you guys think?

Not my thing!
Starting something as serious as marriage with such unseriousness shouldn't even be permitted.

I understand if the introductions are done without the guy around but anything about wedding, the man and woman must be there.

But if one is the son of Bill Gates, then the bride and her parents would understand.

@ Tgirl4real: It's desparateness that is leading most of our ladies into such act. I saw such pic too on a friend's FB page or maybe those ladies are past their time.

@ Jayboy124: Abeg 4get about wealth it would never bring a perfect solution/happiness in a marriage. Don't you know that living and putting up with someone you've not grown up together with is the most difficult thing. I'm talking about managing with someone whose character is entirely different from that of your siblings.

JAkpayen: @ Tgirl4real: It's desparateness that is leading most of our ladies into such act. I saw such pic too on a friend's FB page or maybe those ladies are past their time.
.

Yea. I wonder if na by force to get married at the tym ni.

True! In the pix I saw, d woman was somehow looking older dan the guy.

God forbids!

I think you people wrongly assume the act of marriage is the "ceremony". Its not. Its from the heart, a promise you make from the depths of your soul and spirit whether it be by phone, or telegraph. The ceremony is just for show, to let people know we're officially married, to have witnesses or for the legal system to issue certificate. so doesn't matter if its a stick that represents the bride or groom in that wedding party.

I doubt God cares about your marriage certificate or wedding ceremony. God does not need any signed witnesses, because he was right there with you two. Once two people "agree" to be married and exchange vows to that effect, weather by phone or email, undersea or in space, in jail or mortuary, they are seen by God as married. You don't need a priest, judge, lawyer or parents to be married in the sight of God. After all two people can agree in prayer, make vows or covenants with God in their basements and God takes it as valid.

If you need a ceremony and party to validate the connection you and your spouse have and bond you into marriage maybe you shouldn't be getting married. Most times, you know the heart of someone not by what they say in a public gathering, but what they say to you when you're all alone gazing deeply into each other's eyes.

JAkpayen: @ Tgirl4real: It's desparateness that is leading most of our ladies into such act. I saw such pic too on a friend's FB page or maybe those ladies are past their time.

Ididn't know that women had expiry dates for marriage.

I have even heard of an engagement that took place in Nigeria even though both the bride and groom to be were in living London!

He was from South West and she was South South. I doubt if its a cultural thing to even conduct an engagement/wedding in the absence of either or both parties. It seems like a new generation thing thats meant to allow for flexibility and convenience.

Witnessed such marriage, groom was in London and the younger bro was representing.

My dad represented his brother

Tgirl.

What if both bride and groom are outside the country and for some reasons they cant come home. How would the traditional wedding proceed?

Ok

dayokanu: Tgirl.

What if both bride and groom are outside the country and for some reasons they cant come home. How would the traditional wedding proceed?

Ok. I get that point. My question is: do they have to do the traditional marriage ceremony at the time? Why can't they do the exchange of engagement materials without the photos?


Someone just posted the same pix I saw. I didn't post it cos I wouldn't like to infringe on other people's privacy.

TCD: I think you people wrongly assume the act of marriage is the "ceremony". Its not. Its from the heart, a promise you make from the depths of your soul and spirit whether it be by phone, or telegraph. The ceremony is just for show, to let people know we're officially married, to have witnesses or for the legal system to issue certificate. so doesn't matter if its a stick that represents the bride or groom in that wedding party.

I doubt God cares about your marriage certificate or wedding ceremony. God does not need any signed witnesses, because he was right there with you two. Once two people "agree" to be married and exchange vows to that effect, weather by phone or email, undersea or in space, in jail or mortuary, they are seen by God as married. You don't need a priest, judge, lawyer or parents to be married in the sight of God. After all two people can agree in prayer, make vows or covenants with God in their basements and God takes it as valid.

If you need a ceremony and party to validate the connection you and your spouse have and bond you into marriage maybe you shouldn't be getting married. Most times, you know the heart of someone not by what they say in a public gathering, but what they say to you when you're all alone gazing deeply into each other's eyes.

Ur point exactly? Why bother to do the party then when it's not that necessary?

Tgirl4real:

Ok. I get that point. My question is: do they have to do the traditional marriage ceremony at the time? Why can't they do the exchange of engagement materials without the photos?


Someone just posted the same pix I saw. I didn't post it cos I wouldn't like to infringe on other people's privacy.

When performing a wedding in absencia, I think the picture might just be a representation of the couple.

Is it allowed to start a family without the traditional rites being performed

Assuming you are in Germany with your bf and cant come home for some reasons, Would you start a family with your bf without the trad wedding?

Tgirl4real:


Ur point exactly? Why bother to do the party then when it's not that necessary?

doesnt matter however they choose to do the party, point is at the end of the day, the marriage is valid.

@ Dayo,

No. His parents should initiate a meeting with my parents, meet, send the engagement materials, and we can then do registry where we are. Or, the parents could do the introduction. As long as there is parental consent, we could do registry wedding first and later come home for the trad when we are both settled. That's what my sis did. We knew the hubby before they both traveled. They got married over there and later did the trad like 10 years after.

Its called PROXY wedding and its done in other part of the world...Naija own might be needed to obtain legal documentation to abroad since he/she cant fly home without legal paper..

I don't get it...is it only women who 'gage their men's picture? I mean why is this suddenly a sign of "desperateness" for women??!!

Some guys will seize every opportunity to down women shaaaaa! Haba! Don't y'all get tired??

Personally I'm not a big fan of it and I think it is based on aesthetics. How do you have as your engagement picture. . . a picture of you and another picture on the fireplace?!

Wouldn't look right.

dayokanu:

When performing a wedding in absencia, I think the picture might just be a representation of the couple.

Is it allowed to start a family without the traditional rites being performed

Assuming you are in Germany with your bf and cant come home for some reasons, Would you start a family with your bf without the trad wedding?

When I was in Germany, my Edo friend could not travel down to Nigeria for her traditional marriage because the Nigerian embassy in Germany(for a very silly reason )refused to grant her visa. She had to postpone it. People suggested this picture thing and she asked for my opinion then, I told her no one was allowed to represent me on the day of my marriage,same way my picture though relevant is not to be used instead of my physical self as a representative.

For reasons I know we have no control over, the couple might not be able to travel down for the marriage proper , so why not postpone it to a more convenient day when both are present

jennykadry:

When I was in Germany, my Edo friend could not travel down to Nigeria for her traditional marriage because the Nigerian embassy in Germany(for a very silly reason )refused to grant her visa. She had to postpone it. People suggested this picture thing and she asked for my opinion then, I told her no one was allowed to represent me on the day of my marriage,same way my picture though relevant is not to be used instead of my physical self as a representative.

For reasons I know we have no control over, the couple might not be able to travel down for the marriage proper , so why not postpone it to a more convenient day when both are present

In cases where the convenient day is 10yrs time or 15yrs time do you still postpone it till then?

dayokanu:

In cases where the convenient day is 10yrs time or 15yrs time do you still postpone it till then?

Then they are not ready to be married. If they cannot make things happen, then they are not ready to get married. Is the man in prison? Are they dead?can't they do it in whichever country where they are based? is it by force to do it in Nigeria? If it will take 10 years to make that convenient time then honestly i propose they just move on with their lives and with someone else.

.

dayokanu:

In cases where the convenient day is 10yrs time or 15yrs time do you still postpone it till then?

Let your families meet here in Nigeria for the necessary rites, while you do a registry wedding over there. Parental consent is the most important thing here.

Jayboy124: I understand if the introductions are done without the guy around but anything about wedding, the man and woman must be there.

But if one is the son of Bill Gates, then the bride and her parents would understand.

dat is nonesense,even if he is d president of d universe,he has to b there,he loved me enof and saw wifely potentials in me to wife me so y cant he suspend every other activity for 'our day',by d way am marrying a human being and not a picture.@ least whoever u r,if u want to do weddin,its somtin u plan 4,its nt somtin u just do out of d blues.there is no excuse or justification 4 dat disgraceful behaviour irrespective of how much ure worth or who u r.i cant see any other reason for it other than pride and iresponsibility of d highest order