jaybee3:
Muslims are only allowed to marry up to 4 wives if they can afford it AND love them equally

Most selfish muslims ignore the loving them equally condition because it’s almost impossible to satisfy them equally. You will almost certainly be unjust to the other three thereby committing a sin which is frowned upon by Allah

There is a reason why some northern muslims prefer to divorce first before taking on another wife


“Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.”
— Qur'an, Sura 4 (An-Nisa)

I guess to satisfy the equal loving part, the incoming wife needs to collect too. With a third wife queuing up right behind equally chopping beating and so on.

Anything else is going against that doctrine as that is the "loving" template based on wife number one.

Even the 72 virgins waiting in the after life must collect.

1Sharon:


Before you start and say she should just divorce him, in Islam, the man has the ultimate say on divorce. How convenient huh?

Women can also file for divorce in Islam
though it is disliked. But she can file for divorce if the husband is not meeting his responsibilities and fulfilling her rights and she can't bear with him.
If the husband doesn't accept, then if the wife is able to convince the judge/Imam, the marriage can be dissolved. That the women are silent doesn't mean they don't know their right. Some might be naive while some are trying to keep up with the husband.

absoluteSuccess:


What will multiple wife afford you, why is it necessary?

if God have to wait till AD 500 to promulgate this into law, I mean a lot of generation of mankind have to be appeased.

Desire and compliance are two different things.

Absolutely no point in desiring something you won’t be fully compliant on. As a Muslim, i’m an advocate for Monogamy

shaybebaby:

I guess to satisfy the equal loving part, the incoming wife needs to collect too. With a third wife queuing up right behind equally chopping beating and so on.

Anything else is going against that doctrine as that is the "loving" template based on wife number one.

Even the 72 virgins waiting in the after life must collect.

Loving doesn’t equate to sex

It’s almost impossible to love two or more people equally. We all have preferences. Hence, the reason why some Muslims disregard the condition whilst focusing squarely on their ability to afford it

absoluteSuccess:


What will multiple wife afford you, why is it necessary?

if God have to wait till AD 500 to promulgate this into law, I mean a lot of generation of mankind have to be appeased.

Just to be clear, i’m anti polygamy!!!

To answer your question, the sura was given at the time when they engaged in constant wars which obviously resulted in widowers and orphans. Considering men was also the main/only breadwinner at the time, it made sense for this widowers to be paired by responsible men would could afford and follow the just conditions

However, times are different and selfish religious people are often comfortable taking doctrines out of context or ignorantly falling to evolve their ways in line with current realities

1Sharon:


Exactly. A religion by men, of men, for men.

If indeed it is, the religion would not have given men much responsibilities/task. Because, in an ideal settings, irrespective of the woman status, her care/security/all is the responsibility of the man.
The 'men' religion honour women in various ways, for instance, the men who you claim has the religion have their paradise lying under the feet of a woman (the mother), the woman is entitled to inheritance baring the facts that she is to be provided for, the woman as a mother is entitled to more respect than the father (men). Again, even when divorced, she is to be provided for, for a certain period of time depending on the scenario and she can be welcomed back again depending on the type of divorce/case.

jaybee3:


Just to be clear, i’m anti polygamy!!!

To answer your question, the sura was given at the time when they engaged in constant wars which obviously resulted in widowers and orphans. Considering men was also the main/only breadwinner at the time, it made sense for this widowers to be paired by responsible men would could afford and follow the just conditions

However, times are different and selfish religious people are often comfortable taking doctrines out of context or ignorantly falling to evolve their ways in line with current realities

You might not like a part of the religion but don't castigate/blame those doing it.

And again, the religion of yesterday, is still of today and of tomorrow. Time no change, na we pple change. Off course, there is different between Ibadah and other stuff. Any stuff not Ibadah can have a different way to doing it as it is not done with the intent of getting rewarded.

Please, the entire chapter of the Quran was revealed for all time; past, present and future.

jaybee3:


Desire and compliance are two different things.

Absolutely no point in desiring something you won’t be fully compliant on. As a Muslim, i’m an advocate for Monogamy

I agree with you, the deed has been done and no point trying to bell the cat. We all have our individual choices to make. However, it becomes a problem when our loved ones find themselves in this same issue and our hill of refuge become tested.

God in his infinite wisdom did not start off the world with polygamy, otherwise, we would need series of sexes in-between to make reproduction possible, because each person must be assigned a role-that's the book of nature. Its counter-intuitive and "muting" of the sensibility of the next sex in the family to make any form of "multiple wives" or "multiple husbands" appear next to God in the same sentence.

If I have to be ready to kill a woman for a bastard child, what if the woman is ready to poison me for my second wife and nobody will know or be able to proof it, how does God win in this? Woman is just as intelligent and able as man, but to have a family, there must be a leader, a man that is not vulnerable when in the process of procreation to keep the race going.

Even if we practice a patriarchal societal system, it has to serve its intended purpose of protecting the unit of the family. Preservation comes first before religion, if there are no human family first, there wont be any religion.

There must not be any doctrine to undermine nature, except such things that are aberration of nature to ward of evil.

Jarus is a Muslim. I don't understand what this brouhaha is all about.

The Bible supports polygamy.

TheSuperX:
It's called cheating only if he slept with the sidechic before marrying her, but from the look of things, he didn't, he just want to marry another wife, there's nothing wrong in that.

Good that you've admitted she's a side chic, which things did you look exactly? You were there to know he didn't sleep with her abi? And who told you sèx is the only form of cheating?

Oga Jarus is one person I respect sha, Very intelligent man, I remember the story of how he met this his Ilorin Fulani wife, the toasting and all and used to speak so highly of her. That thread should still still be around if it wasn't swallowed by the Nairaland Tsunami.What now happened? how did it degenerate to this and the incoming 2nd wife feels comfortable with all this drama?


As much as their religion allows 4 wives, the matter no suppose reach violence level to the extent of beating. The wife too knows it's their way, they should have resolved the matter.

Though most Muslim women will never want to share their man lailai those who accept just do so out of religion. I have moslem family members too and we know how it rolls.

Hopefully they get out of this one sha. This one DSVA is on their case.

.

TheSuperX:
Actually I'm pissed that he has to admit to that, dude should have kept quiet instead.

100%. In fact he shouldn't even have brought the family issue to the public in the first instance.

Apparently, his anger management issues got the better of him.

With all the projects and initiatives he is involved in with several reputable organizations, I really hope he comes out of this unscathed.

jaybee3:


Just to be clear, i’m anti polygamy!!!

To answer your question, the sura was given at the time when they engaged in constant wars which obviously resulted in widowers and orphans. Considering men was also the main/only breadwinner at the time, it made sense for this widowers to be paired by responsible men would could afford and follow the just conditions

However, times are different and selfish religious people are often comfortable taking doctrines out of context or ignorantly falling to evolve their ways in line with current realities

I'm sorry bro, I don't mean to be pesky, but I would love you to go through the history of the time you are talking about. This was what I was told at Ile Keu too, but most of the wars were promulgated by the Muslims, sorry to say, the Muslims were the aggressors and the quote you make reference to, very well has to do with the origin of the saying "me lol'Ohun wi", i.e "institutionalized Polygamy".

But check it out, its appropriating captives as "slaves", and making them concubines. So it was creating a problem that never was. Most of these captives were from defenseless Jewish tribes such as Bani Nadir, Bani Kurayza and so on, who inhabits Medinna before the Hegira. They were widows whose husbands were murdered in cold blooded assault in Medinna by the companions.

Now that situation back then that created "surplus women" and reasons to rehabilitate them can't remain a marital standard forever as change is constant.

TheSuperX:
Let him marry another wife if he can cater for her, the woman is just being too greedy, she just want all the attention and money for herself.

she's not greedy or wants all the money and attention to herself. She doesn't want to share the love she has for her husband with another woman. 14yrs of marriage no be beans.
I visited Twitter yesterday and red the full story of the gist. He even met the said second wife on Twitter.

Oga Jarus you no try o! I no longer have his contact if not I for blast am on phone. Chai! Whoever advised him to take a second wife is heartless.

1Sharon:


Bars 🤣

Mustard on da beat 🕺

I remember the Nairaland tsunami.

Good times

NoToPile:
Oga Jarus is one person I respect sha, Very intelligent man, I remember the story of how he met this his Ilorin Fulani wife, the toasting and all and used to speak so highly of her. That thread should still still be around if it wasn't swallowed by the Nairaland Tsunami.What now happened? how did it degenerate to this and the incoming 2nd wife feels comfortable with all this drama?


As much as their religion allows 4 wives, the matter no suppose reach violence level na to the extent of beating. The wife too knows it's their way, they should have resolved the matter na.

Though most Muslim women will never want to share their man lailai those who accept just do so out of religion. I have moslem family members too and we know how it rolls.

Hopefully they get out of this one sha. This one DSVA is on their case.

jaybee3:


Loving doesn’t equate to sex

It’s almost impossible to love two or more people equally. We all have preferences. Hence, the reason why some Muslims disregard the condition whilst focusing squarely on their ability to afford it

My point exactly.
Which means no multiple wives.

cococandy:
I remember the Nairaland tsunami.

Good times

You can say that again

Good times indeed.

Realistically, how often is the wife able to convince the MALE judge/imam to grant her a divorce if her husband doesn’t want to be a party to it?

I know some things sound good on paper. But if you really look around you and see the types of humans that exist and how they apply their biases, then you should be able to decipher that some rules are just made to satisfy all righteousness. In reality the people who made those rules know it’s rarely enforceable.

Especially when those who would be responsible for enforcing it are those who’d benefit from doing otherwise.

islamics:


Women can also file for divorce in Islam
though it is disliked. But she can file for divorce if the husband is not meeting his responsibilities and fulfilling her rights and she can't bear with him.
If the husband doesn't accept, then if the wife is able to convince the judge/Imam, the marriage can be dissolved. That the women are silent doesn't mean they don't know their right. Some might be naive while some are trying to keep up with the husband.

Lol...this is simple really.

The guy is a muslim, and his religion has got tenets peculiar to it, which gives the man the ability to marry as many wives as he can, ability to beat his wife if she errs, and so on.

Apparently, the actions of his wife triggered the need to exercise his 'rights'.

In UK for example, he wouldn't have any issue, as a matter of fact, he can even receive financial support from the UK government if he wants, and there are sharia councils where any of his wives can get a divorce.

I understand no woman would want to share her man, but that woman must understand there's a possibility with muslims, otherwise don't get involved with one.

So sorry for your loss

absoluteSuccess:


I've lost my first child trying to play to the church and the society, I never recover from the loss. I never play to expectations again.

We4all:
Abegi...He was all about the money and gifts he showered on her. So, is he saying that if a man gives a woman money regularly, she becomes his slave and he has the right to treat her however he pleases? By the way, if he is popular, how come I don't know him?

isn't that what the women wants too..

cococandy:
So sorry for your loss

Thank sis, we can't change the hand of fate.

To be fair everyone’s personal men in their families and circle of friends are awesome. Even if they are absolute monsters to outside people. It’s only when things go wrong then hindsight becomes 20:20.


As a rule of thumb, how a man treats a woman who he has nothing to gain from is usually a good way to tell what type of man he is.

CHoccolaTE:

then they start assuming that men in real life are like their fairy tale men.

TheSuperX:
Why are you concerned? He's a Muslim and has the right to marry more than one wife, what's wrong with that? he wasn't cheating on her with a side chic, he just want to marry.

Did the koran put into factor the feelings of the woman.If it was right,why do a lot of them react negatively to such news?She was born into this religion and it's all she knows,if she decides to leave it you and I know that secret death awaits her.
Let's be objective here.

TheSuperX:
Why are you concerned? He's a Muslim and has the right to marry more than one wife, what's wrong with that? he wasn't cheating on her with a side chic, he just want to marry.

How do you marry who you didn't cheat on your wife with?the interest,the communication,the texts,the calls,the tasting of her food and buying things with someone not your wife is called what?

Ensa777:


Did the koran put into factor the feelings of the woman.If it was right,why do a lot of them react negatively to such news?She was born into this religion and it's all she knows,if she decides to leave it you and I know that secret death awaits her.
Let's be objective here.

They know she can’t easily leave. They say that as a way to shut any dissenters up. But truly they know and they don’t care. It’s a disingenuous attempt at offering the women options/choices. when those choices in mild cases could result in some women being ostracized or in worse cases injury or death.

Beremx:
well the polygamy has started on a bad note with his wife going diabolical and him beating her afterwards. May God see him through in his polygamous journey.

Polygamous ke? The woman has left and Twitter descended on the lady he was to marry.She was always advertising herself on twitter and saying how she can even be a 2nd wife on every rich man's post.well her net caught Jarus .

I for bring her pic but she deactivated quickly.

1Sharon:


Is this his wife?

Yes

FuckingMachine:
I no longer fight or argue when Seun Osewa targets me on this forum. I have learnt to fight very dirty.

I'm currently speaking with Jarus' wife. I drew DSVA's attention to it too just like I launched malicious attacks here last December. Jarus will eventually go to prison and his prick that's eagerly awaiting the new wife will starve to death. We are already helping the wife on how she will enrich herself by the time he's out of this mess.


This is just the beginning. When I finish with you lot una go regret the day wey una gang up against me.

Next is naptu2, Mynd44, pocohantas and Seun Osewa himself. You can ban this account too I don't care. I will be here to update you on the next.

what exactly is your problem with all this ..


She went fetish.. why Should she do that ..

She already knew she married a Muslim and with time he'd be bringing in a second wife ..
.he compensated her with all that gift in which she accepted why does she still wants to ruin his life by going fetish .. if she wasn't comfortable with the whole setup she could have asked for a divorce ..

She definitely deserves that beating for going fetish which is even suppose to be against her religion ..

cococandy:
To be fair everyone’s personal men in their families and circle of friends are awesome. Even if they are absolute monsters to outside people. It’s only when things go wrong then hindsight becomes 20:20.


As a rule of thumb, how a man treats a woman who he has nothing to gain from is usually a good way to tell what type of man he is.

Yes you're right but I don't like being fair in my judgment of men because I dislike them and their evil ways.

jaybee3:
Muslims are only allowed to marry up to 4 wives if they can afford it AND love them equally

Most selfish muslims ignore the loving them equally condition because it’s almost impossible to satisfy them equally. You will almost certainly be unjust to the other three thereby committing a sin which is frowned upon by Allah

There is a reason why some northern muslims prefer to divorce first before taking on another wife


“Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice. ”
— Qur'an, Sura 4 (An-Nisa)

A captive, aka a slave?

.... But what do women see in this religion? Why are women still marrying Muslim men? You're never allowed to sit where men sit, you are never allowed to pray where men pray, a woman can't even lead prayers where men are sitted.

Tolerating Islam while screaming gender equality, women rights, fairness and justice is utterly senseless IMO.