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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" (67458 Views)
God Is Punishing Me, Someone Please Help Me..... / I Am Sleeping With Our Pastor – Lagos Wife / Is This Gods' Way Of Punishing Him, Pls Advise Him (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by aspirebig: 5:32pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
Op, I am sorry about what you are passing through,I know it is difficult,keep praying and be patient. It is a phase and it will pass soon. Know that he is your husband,try to satisfy him and respect him,no marriage without challenges. Do not divorce oooo,if u do na OYO. Those that are advising to divorce here will still be against you thereafter. In Nigeria and world generally,women are the most stigmatised after divorce and no way to prove the the next husband will be a better man or a saint. 1 Like |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by corlin2(m): 5:32pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
blesie:You wrote all this......you dey try o |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by arvinsloane(m): 5:32pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
treasuress:GBAM 6 Likes |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by bosun11(m): 5:33pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
Seriously i feel your pain but th truth is u married a beast in the form of a man......though its funny but that is the truth...you didn't allow him to touch you for THREE DAMN YEARS !!! and now that he has YOU, My dear he will do the unthinkable. He must have been dreaming and fantasizing about sex sex sex when he was telling you i do on the altar, u wanna ask why? because he was just waiting for the honeymoon when he will gladly open the door You just gotta be romantic and understand him and you both need a dialogue if after few months to a year and you cant still cope, its best to let go because seriously i don't think you can deny him of his right because your body does not longer belong to you ANYMORE...YOU ARE NOW MARRIED...CASECLOSED |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by treasuress: 5:34pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
sarutobie:one bottle of moet for you 1 Like |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Nobody: 5:34pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
I found this story shocking....I had to walk away, think a bit, and then read it again. As a man I find my fellow man's behavior in this story disgusting. The problem is marital rape , indeed rape of any kind in this country is not taken seriously. We just keep quiet about rape, while calling the victim names behind his/her back at the time where she or he would need healing. I also find the behavior of the pastor reprehensible.....and I speak as a born again christian of over 20 years. At the very worst, he should have counseled the man against sexual lust. Seems like the pastor regards marriage as a lust fufillment zone, not as a place of building mutual love and affection. Ultimately, the issue is that we do not know how to talk about sex in this country. We hide behind conservative attitudes (attitudes which I fully support BTW)...and in the process throw out the baby with the bathwater. And as a result....we youngsters learn about sex, love and relationships from the wrong source. We never learn that sex should be in the context of serving others....instead we see it as a means of self fufilment and self enjoyment. Am sure that was the guy's view of sex.....it is for my own enjoyment....not for mutual enjoyment. Maybe I sound soft and sentimental here...but when I get married (I am single and searching)....sex is going to be a two way thing for me. Because if it isn't.....then it means I love myself more than my wife. There....I guess our problem in this country is that we love ourselves too much. 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by IVORY2009(m): 5:35pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
TomiwaDamola: What will the policee' do? Likewise women's right, if I may wanna ask, dis is domestic issue, and the said man, frm wat I can read, is legally married to the lady, and a lawyer for that matter, in other words, they should settle the issue within the family. |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by nebukadnezzari(m): 5:35pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
:PALL IN FAVOR OF SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE SAY "AYE"... THE "AYES" HAVE IT!!! 1 Like |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by delishpot: 5:35pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
Many women will kill to have that guy oooo. 1 Like |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by sarutobie(m): 5:36pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
treasuress:truer words have never been spoken..to think that people here (mostly the women) will judge a man who could wait for three years without sex and still put a ring on it guilty? 3 Likes |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Goodquestion(m): 5:36pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
pweetixandy: I can sense wickedness in this man even from his own explanation. A virgin and she is treating her that way? If only it is a true life story then i say sorry it won't last long soonner shall he be tired. |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Nobody: 5:36pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
sarutobie: What is your view of sex? If it is all about you.....then I suggest that your marriage would have problems down the line....when and if you get married (And I am not praying bad for you...just stating facts. Women don't like masters...contrary to popular opinion)> 3 Likes |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by vintage01: 5:36pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
"This is a story for the gods" .....Olamide must be the one narrating this tale........."laleyi maa konramo...... |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Nobody: 5:37pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
sarutobie: What is your view of sex? If it is all about you.....then I suggest that your marriage would have problems down the line....when and if you get married (And I am not praying bad for you...just stating facts. Women don't like masters...contrary to popular opinion). (This dobule post is to be blamed on agents from the village infecting my computer.....) |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by sarutobie(m): 5:38pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
bushdoc9919:dude forget story ( I am beginning to doubt the entire story sef cuz it just doesn't add up)...the woman here is the one being selfish.. |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by jidxin(m): 5:39pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
sign of d end time .... my sister u ve to bear it 4 d rest of ur life a pastor once said " bad marriage is like hell....u never included God b4 u married him ...u were unguarded and I tell u divorce is not d solution .... I tink with dz ur experience could lead to a trauma wch cannot end if u get married to another person but u will only spread ur disease to an innocent man |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by ManTiger(m): 5:39pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
At times, when you marry the so called church boy, you're sitting on a long thing. |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by naijaboiy: 5:39pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
I don't really like airing my views on topics like this. The Op already knows what to do in this case and all she's doing here is to garner sympathy and hate for her husband and I can see she is getting lots of that already. Nobody here has the full right to advice you on anything,,look deep into yourself and check...you know the right thing to do. you also have a fault in this situation. The same people advising you to divorce are the same people who place stigmas on divorced women in our society today. Settle down and look into this issue well..have you been romantic to this man at all? There should be some trial and error methods before you finally decide to go to court. Ps-Quoting me to hurl insults is only a waste of time as it will be duly ignored 2 Likes |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by pweetixandy: 5:39pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
cjeriia:lol..dnt u think u sound dumb making assumptions about somone u dnt know,dumb to me tho .divorce is there na,ehn..kerewa or leave him. O tan! |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by undercat: 5:39pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
@blesie In all honesty, both of you are wrong. Your hubby is dead wrong for forcing you to have sex. It does not matter that you are his wife; there is no rule that says a married couple must have sex. Sex is the norm, but technically its not a must. On your own part, you should have discussed your stance on sex with your husband beforehand. I know nobody usually has such a discussion, but where you don't have any desire for sex with a man, you should let him know before you get married to him. I was stunned to read that on your wedding night you just bathed and proceeded to sleep. Who does that?! That is still no excuse for him to rape you. He should really, utterly apologize for it. If this marriage is to work, you have to be more forthcoming sexualli, since it appears that every time you guys have had sex, you did not really consent to it. Under our laws, divorce is actually permitted on grounds of denial of sex. Another ground for divorce is the abuse you have received. In any discussion you guys have on what the way forward is, be ready to negotiate away some of your frigidity. I'm just being curious here...are you attracted to him sexually? Didn't you guys ever make out before the wedding? 1 Like |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Goodquestion(m): 5:40pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
Don't worry it wont last long he will be tired of sex the way he is going about it, and when that happen you would be the one that would beg him for sex. Till then i await your testimony. |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by samuelfemo(m): 5:40pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
when i started reading this story the first time she wrote, i thought someone somewhere was just trying to cook up a story to entertain or engage nairalanders,but i have come to discover its a through life experiece, Now this is my contribution: we all need to understand that dis lady was a virgin when her husband met her,not having experience sex in the past until the night of there honey moon, like the husband confirmed,sex can always be hell if you are new to it expecially for a woman. another point is that when a man its having sex with a woman and that womans reaction shows its painful on her, what it does to the man"s emotion is that it boost him to want to do more, psycollogically the man feels satisfy.so when the woman scream for painful pleasure the man got satisfy and want to do more. my advice to her is that with time the woman will get use to it and become more sexually hungry than the man as time goes on.... because "olomi lo ma re"..... But the guy na correct guy sha unto skelew things..... |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by kccarew(f): 5:40pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
Before I start I would like to ask if You love him and what u thought u would be doing in your husband's house, did u think u were just going to be cooking or what? Now having asked all those. I would advice u think hard about all those questions and change your mindset about just enduring and satisfying him to enjoying yourself while u also satisfy him. Did u know that it is written in the bible that u should satisfy your husband with your breast? If u don't know go and research and write out all the duties of a goog and perfect wife Heb woman...u might think no, am on my right but u will be justified only when u perform all ur duties as a wife including sex. For him, if his mind for marrying u is cos of sex, well u guys are married now and God hates divorce so don't even think about it. All u have to do now keep praying for him and since I sense he is a church person, call him so u guys can always pray together..remember a family that prays together stays together...raise prayer points like we will be happy in my family I choose to love him deliberatly and he will also, and so on...its time for u to let go and let God ok |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Nobody: 5:40pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
sarutobie:Abegi.....my mama no go support gini? Person no go fit even try dis kain thing wit me sef! Make my husband do me so te down-below go dey hot.....abeji shin ga apor! |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by sylve11: 5:40pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
Don't mean to grin but the story is kinda funny and sad at the same time....especially when ur husband said u dressed as if u r on ur way to mecca. . Na wa o. Btw, why must he rape to get his balls drained? 1 Like |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Tymax(m): 5:40pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
AKMoney1:Thank you jor. Don't mind all these hypocrites. |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Nobody: 5:41pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
PART 3: I RAN AWAY FROM HIS HOUSE AND NOW HE WANTS ME BACK. 2 Likes |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Dreyl(m): 5:42pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
I doubt if this story is truth self,sounds so fake to me!! |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Nobody: 5:42pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
sarutobie: Maybe...but my point still stands....sex is not all about you. It is about you and your partner collaborating to produce a sense of mutual satisfaction and enjoyment. The minute it becomes all about you...is the time when the seeds of destruction in your marriage are sown (One word...menopause). 3 Likes |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by bosun11(m): 5:42pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
pweetixandy: she be learner abi..LOOOL |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Arsenate(m): 5:42pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
nothing wrong with the man. op is mostly likely a les..bian. yes, there are lots of them around. just divorce the poor man. 1 Like |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by styless(f): 5:42pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
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