Jarus:

Well, that is me. It is my household. I am the head.
Dem no born that woman that will come and curse and threaten me.
Nibo ni month to raye oshi.

miredia:
Confidently spoken in Nigeria, how about a repetition while resident in the U.S

US far, Europe nko?.....the woman go stay by the door as police dey join u carry ya load comot that house you called yours, you will then sign an undertaking not to even go greet your friend wey dey 50km radius talk less of passing in front of the house.

cococandy:
your house?
Is she a tenant?

Why won't some men have marital problems when they go about thinking the marriage is all about them and the family home is "his house".

Not nice.

women trying to imitate oyibo since 1960 you want a house with your husband open a joint account with him and build together, i have said it before i will say it again, Nigerian women dont know how to invest in a marriage or relationship, you people will be hiding your money here and there and you want to claim house you did not build

Rep042:
My marriage is just 1 year and few days old,but within the last 365 days,I have seen torment and hell on daily basis. We dated for 2 years before tying the knot,she's a nice person,but her mouth is destructive,she has this overbearing attitude,always trying to control me or dictate the pace,and can keep malice,anger and record of evil done to her for a long time. She's the type of person that talks very well,I mean convincely well,but unfortunately,she speaks more negative words. She can talk for hours non-stop,especially when provoked,saying all sorts of bad words.

She has threatened to kill me & send assassins after me on different occasions in the past,though I just ignored such threats.

My wife has been abusing me verbally and always say nasty things at every slightest provocation and at the same ready to engage me in fisticuffs.

She can really say unprintable words such as "it will not be well with you","as you go out,people will deal with you", "you will work like an elephant and eat like an ant", "this your certificate will never yield you any good thing", etc, name callings,abuses,curses etc.

Please Nairalanders, I will like to know if it is wrong or out of place for a working class married lady to assist her husband in paying some bills or buying some foodstuffs at home. Because,anytime she assists in doing anything,she will record it and consequently use that to abuse and insult me whenever we have misunderstanding and or exchange of words.

After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges,and then my rent was due for renewable,she offered to assist,at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person,knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time. But,then,I didn't have any alternative,so I allowed her pay d rent. Now,she's claiming ownership,saying ..."which house,the one that I have been paying the rent or another one"...

She has done a lot of character assassination & damages to my personality before some of her relatives & family members(Her father and two sisters),thus they all support her & no longer regard me as anybody.

Few months into our marriage,she started wearing butt pads, I told her to stop ,because I don't like the stuff,but she flared up and we had exchange of words. She told me that she has to look good to outsiders.

Throughout her pregnancy period,she wore the butt pads on daily basis even at home,I allowed her because of her condition,even though it looked disgusting on her. After she put to bed,and few days later, I told her to quit wearing that stuff, but she refused,then I seized it,she started ranting to the hearing of everyone at home & neighbors that I have taken her padded pants(aka butt pad) to native doctor. I just ignored her. Few days later, she bought another set.

On Xmas day(2014),she dressed up & wore the butt pads again,I told her to remove it ,but she refused,then i tried forcing her to do so,and that resulted to a serious fight. She tore my already ironed clothes to pieces(an expensive Indian attire I bought when I travelled to India),I tore hers too and forced the butt pads out from her body.

Hell was let loose that day,because she called her sisters,they came to my house and created a very nasty scene in my neighborhood,they insulted,ridiculed me and made a mockery of me,her elder sister who is a police officer threatened to deal with me,she was talking and hitting her hands on the ground saying that,they are going to teach me some bitter lessons in this town. I tried to respond but my Mum,who's on child's visit(Omugwo) asked me to hold my peace. It wasn't easy though,they also insulted her too.

Since that day till date,my wife doesn't talk to me. The only thing that connects us now is the new born baby.

Her words have actually killed me psychologically, emotionally etc, to the extent that sometimes, I loose consciousness of my surrounding while driving to and fro from work , I will be lost in thought, and on a particular occasion nearly rammed another moving vehicle,if not for the speed bumps on the road that awaken my consciousness.


Her words:"if you are still regarding me as your wife,then you wasting your time". Its obvious she wants a divorce because to her,she's still very young(28 years),and can easily move on. She doesn't give a damn.

She has also repeated that same threat of killing me,these days ,the number of calls entering her phone is amazing,most times,she goes far from the house to answer those calls.

Please,kindly advice me.
Thank you.

k

TDstarr:
wish kind mumu advise be dis? its a pity you have such a vocal wife, he should be patient and die of high blood pressure

When I saw the word vocal, I said do people actually know the meaning of the words they use at all? Well....contextual usage.

Few months into our marriage,she started wearing butt pads, I told her to stop ,because I don't like the stuff,but she flared up and we had exchange of words. She told me that she has to look good to outsiders.

Throughout her pregnancy period,she wore the butt pads on daily basis even at home,I allowed her because of her condition,even though it looked disgusting on her. After she put to bed,and few days later, I told her to quit wearing that stuff, but she refused,then I seized it,she started ranting to the hearing of everyone at home & neighbors that I have taken her padded pants(aka butt pad) to native doctor. I just ignored her. Few days later, she bought another set.

On Xmas day(2014),she dressed up & wore the butt pads again,I told her to remove it ,but she refused,then i tried forcing her to do so,and that resulted to a serious fight. She tore my already ironed clothes to pieces(an expensive Indian attire I bought when I travelled to India),I tore hers too and forced the butt pads out from her body.

Chai
What a pity
Ndo
I don't believe all this came up after marriage
She must have shown signs of theses things earlier on but love had blinded you

rebella:
@Op , you and wife deserve each other.
Your wife has a crazy caustic mouth on her and you instead of being the voice of reason to a seemingly mad woman decided to join her in her craziness.
She wants to wear a buttpad on her body, not yours not your baby, but hers... Ok fine you aren't comfortable with it, what happened to reasoning with her. Even if she refused , remember she's an individual first with her own likes and dislikes before she is your wifen she isn't property your bought off a supermarket shelf.
Then you wnet further to exchange blows with your wife just to remove the buttpad. Its not like the buttpad has some crazy harmful effect on either of you. Its just your personal preference you are forcing on her.
Much ado about nothing

come on, she tore his cloth and obviously she wanted the 'fight' badly. From what the Op wrote he had never on any occasion done such, he mostly ignored her. This woman has something dangerously wrong with her both spiritually and psychologically. She's not remorseful, not reasonable, mutinous, has hurtful inclinations, and then she picks her calls in camera. This is not marriage, it's madrage!...

superior1:





US far, Europe nko?.....the woman go stay by the door as police dey join u carry ya load comot that house you called yours, you will then sign an undertaking not to even go greet your friend way dey 50km radius talk less of passing in front of the house.

. Dem go chop off those wings of confidence.

Nigga44:
I'm almost 30 and I swear, i'm beginning to dread marriage . This kinda of stuff is almost what my cousin is going through

I get really pissed off when I read comments like this.

Majority of the gals/guys who are experiencing hell in their marriages saw it coming but were trying to either delude themselves or mock God. Perhaps the 'sex was too good' or sometimes what they stand to gain outweighs the character flaws, so they take the bait like a clueless fish.

Let me give two case studies:
1. I accused a friend of not allowing his bf to cook for him & his reason was that d lady is diabolical. Yet, this guy spends 9am-11pm with her every Sunday (doing what?). I no want hear stories that touch the heart.
2. Another friend complained of his fiancee being lazy & refusing to help him with his domestic chores. Barely two months after the complaints, I received wedding invitation.

Are these people trying to tell me that there are no better alternative? Yes! There are! Different strokes for different folks. BUT don't come and complain or generalise. Else...

I'm not happy with people blaming the op here. The deed has been done, fine. Now is the time to look for a lasting solution not demoralising him more.



My own advise is for you to leave that woman you call wife asap. preferably tonight and find yourself a safe place ( you can manage with a friend for some time before you get another place). I fear for your safety and her safety too. You might end up killing her or your wife killing you.


She has a baby for you and that's the only thing you gain from her and a reminder nit to make the same mistake again




GOD bless you

Jarus:
Any woman that will try half of this with me and still remain in my house, has not been born.

Oga Jarus, na so you harsh reach ?

Anyway, thank God you didn't meet my ex - she for show you double !!!!!!

There are still very reasonable women out there who will take their time in taking care of you as the husband, and the entire home. You should not conclusively generalise all women to be the nagging and the uncaring type based on the op's wife's attitude

RedBenson:
Hmmmmm, issues like this make men wanna keep staying single and enjoy life till they turn 50. Who wants to be into this sort of bondage in the name of marriage? Highest is find a way and get children and take care of them. That's all. Mtcheeeeew to marriage.

Sparklesebony:


I get really pissed off when I read comments like this.

Majority of the gals/guys who are experiencing hell in their marriages saw it coming but were trying to either delude themselves or mock God. Perhaps the 'sex was too good' or sometimes what they stand to gain outweighs the character flaws, so they take the bait like a clueless fish.

Let me give two case studies:
1. I accused a friend of not allowing his bf to cook for him & his reason was that d lady is diabolical. Yet, this guy spends 9am-11pm with her every Sunday (doing what?). I no want hear stories that touch the heart.
2. Another friend complained of his fiancee being lazy & refusing to help him with his domestic chores. Barely two months after the complaints, I received wedding invitation.

Are these people trying to tell me that there are no better alternative? Yes! There are! Different strokes for different folks. BUT don't come and complain or generalise. Else...

regardless of how microscopic your search becomes, you'll never find that flawless character since you aren't flawless to begin with.

@Op,as someone who saw some of the characters your wife is exhibiting in a former fiancee of mine,who i thought I could not live without,until I saw the light and gave her the shove,life is too short to live in pain and regret,'cause you can't change an adult who's character is already preformed,especially one who doesn't want to change,the truth is,if you continue in this kind of marriage you'll most likely develop High BP with its attendant consequences,marriage is meant to be enjoyed not endured,you only live once,let her be,move on and find happiness,we all deserve to be happy.

If this is not a script from nollywood.. Get a lawyer to report her police sister to her station.. Then fight for your child's custody.. I was expecting like i said that if this is not a script from nollywood.. You should be asking us how best to divorce her..

How I wish you could just learn to ignore her totally! Hummm...It is so obvious that she's bent on destroying you,but my dear,the best way to frustrate that woman is to always ignore her. It may seems hard but if u try u can do it. Hence,always act and live like she's not in existence in a short while,she will start to suspect u having an affair,and then she will realise she's loosing you. Leave her to wear her butt pad a beg,if she likes let her double it gan,just always ignore her. If she's tired,let her ask for divorce, but mind u,the world is evil,be careful how u eats what she cooks thats if she cooks.

WombRaiders:


All the celebrity baby mamas are Yoruba.

2face had 5 baby mamas with 4 of them being Yoruba but he chose the Calabar one to settle for.

Every evidence points to Yoruba women being wh0res and you and I know that OP's wh0ring wife is yoruba.


Breed they say is greater than pasture.

and that makes all the married women from your place to be saints. You have a very myopic mind . Now get lost,i am done with you

Jarus:


Well, that is me. It is my household. I am the head.

Dem no born that woman that will come and curse and threaten me.

Nibo ni month to raye oshi.

It both your household. Belongs to the whole family including kids.

Of course you shouldn't live with someone who cursed and threatens you. That's not healthy.

I don't know what the last part of your comment means.

Fit2Rule:
You want my advice? Here it is... She doesn't want a divorce otherwise she'd have packed her things and left your (her?) house. She wants your head! She wants you dead. Believe it or not, only few ladies and I mean very few, value men who got no money at any instant. She already has another RICH MAN in her life. All she's waiting for is for the baby to grow a lil and then... boom! What you should do? In case you are still wondering: Just get the hell outta her house! She doesn't want you loitering around her. Pick up the pieces of your life and move on. The baby will survive. Just focus on God as you make the very difficult but all imperative decision.

Exactly my tots!! She doesnt want to leave to make it look like she's not d wrong one but definitely has someone elsewhere deceiving her, so after she might have killed him, she'll go and marry her secret lover!

BABANGBALI:
and that makes all the married women from your place to be saints. You have a very myopic mind . Now get lost,i am done with you

Not my fault your women are wh0res... It may be because you guys are lousy husbands.

Check yourself bro.

elantraceey:



I'm against divorce but in this case that's the only way out for you , A married woman wearing butt pad against her husbands' wish , who is she trying to impress?


But op be honest , you saw some of these signs before you married her right?

this is why i like you, always sound sensible with your assertions.

coogar:
your wife wore bütt-pads while she was pregnant? to impress who?

who are the parents raising these brainless bimbos? before separation, you need to have a word with her parents.

Make sense

The truth is dat ladies can hide their character for as long as possible to get what dey want. Nd if ppl say dey don't advise you to divorce, den run for ur life... At least she say na she get House.

miredia:
You are Silly

Are you the OP?

Rosarie:
first year of marriage has a lot of challenges but dose her words re deep cos as a wife na she suppose dey pray for y n again she hails from a stipud home but in all i blame u cos GOD will nvs ever lead u on a rong path.GOD DDID NOT GIVE A GO AHEAD N AM SURE U HAD PRE MARITAL SEX HE HATES SIN N WILL ALLOW U MAKE UR DESICIONS.MARRIAGE IS SUPPOSE TO B A BLISS

yinmu yinmu! U will say d same thing 2 everyone that marries the lady. the truth is that the lady's not the type meant 4 marriage.

goldentee:
There are still very reasonable women out there who will take their time in taking care of you as the husband, and the entire home. You should not conclusively generalise all women to be the nagging and the uncaring type based on the op's wife's attitude

Bruv, most women dont show this trait o until after marriage. Is better i live a happy life as a single man than being into some sort of rubbish called marriage.

Sorry for your predicament bro. We always tell people to consult God before getting married. Secondly, you must have seen quite a lot of the bad behavior your wife is now exhibiting, but you must have thought that "you would change her" once you guys got married. The truth is "what you see is what you get". Nobody can change anybody in marriage. This is a hard lesson for all those who make critical decisions without involving God and rather, relying on their smartness or feelings.

Please ask involve a marriage counselor or your pastor to mediate in this situation. It is bad but not totally irredeemable. The situation can still be remedied, but you will need to involve either your pastor or a marriage counselor.

I wish you the best bro.

TDstarr:
women trying to imitate oyibo since 1960 you want a house with your husband open a joint account with him and build together, i have said it before i will say it again, Nigerian women dont know how to invest in a marriage or relationship, you people will be hiding your money here and there and you want to claim house you did not build

Are you the type that like your wife to work and deposit her salary in your personal account so that you will allocate to her how much she can spend on her bra and pant.

If she gets money you guys will build the house in your name alone so that one day when you're tired you will marry a new sisi and chase her out as the house is "your house" alone.

Most of you have slave master mentality. Tell me why you won't have rebellious wives?

I mean, why do guys settle for useless girls who lack character, poise, courtesy, morals and ethics all in the name of fvcking love? Out of the about 50million girls wey dey nigeria, now the guy is thinking of divorce! Nigga u go stay with am 4 better for worse. Nonsense.

OP, I must be frank here. You are the cause of the problem. I do not see anything wrong in wearing a butt-pad. Women use most of these artificial beauty-aids to augment their self-confidence and 'look good', it doesnt suggest she is cheating.

I will like to be blunt here; Your wife has done a lot to put up with a man who didnt plan well before engaging in a traditional marriage. You didnt couldnt even afford your rent after traditional marriage and you went ahead to impregnate your wife. Are you silly ? Now the poor woman helps to buy foodstuff, pay rent, and in fact buy herself cloths and butt-pads which is actually your responsibility as a man 100%.

You are NOT financially and psychologically stable enough to get married. I am sorry, this is just the plain truth.

I see nothing wrong in her actions, except ofcourse the curses and abuse, which are actually caused by your actions and inactions.

i had just dsame xperience like urs, . exactly. the diff is my wife ,didnt so any sign of looking outside, but one thing i noticed is her family never respect me just because i 'm jobles after graduated frm sch, my wife was lucky to get abank job, i wasnt a lazy man, i strugle to survive n take responsiblity in the house as a man. they saw me as gold diger and treated me thesame way. what i did and it may help you. i packed my belongings and left home,i never return tho in dsame city until when she started feeling my impact,as God will crown my effort,i got job in d proces,my wife later started loking for a way to be reunion,wc i decline untill fight broke out betwn her and her family blaming them for her to be seperated btw her and her husband. they had to send my pastor to beg me but i acepted her back only because of my son i loved so much. believe me Now, my wife became the best woman. we bult our own house wc she contributed 50%and she never disrespect me againg. the secret was b4 she came to her normal sence, i nearly remary to another working class woman who is far beter piad than my wife and d lady respected me alot. even now am still comunicating with the lady, my wife never complain. tho i promised her nothing more btw us. so that is woman for u. dont be surprise she love you.

[quote author=Sleekyshuga post=29490755]****vexing mood*****

Who the hell does she even think she is? What set of generational women are mothers producing these days? This is too much for 1 man now ..

@OP, I blame you for virtually everything..

Firstly, you dated/courted her for 2years, and you knew she had this tongue lashing mouth, yet, u went ahead and married her? What does that make you? A good guy?

Secondly, there is a saying: "The day you ever allow a woman pay your bills, that day you become her slave". Trust me... She can be all sweet and rosy, and even plead with you to let her do it, and if finally you fall for her charm, and she does it and continously do it, you are in for the worst..

Borrowing from friends, family members etc would have being more responsible, and would have kept your respect in check than dealing with your abusive wife..

Thirdly, you fought with your wife.. You dragged her, and she dragged u!! What a disgusting scenario.. Clap for yourself!! You did well by beating a lady.. There are other better ways of treating a nagging/abusive wife..

Lastly, your wife will never CHANGE.. She is in a world of her own, coupled with the support and encouragement she is getting from her people.. She has sounded it to you.. She wants a DIVORCE.. What are you still waiting for? Until she kills you? It's obvious you don't value your life..

"The shits I keep hearing about marriages keeps me on an alert daily"..

[/quote

WombRaiders:


Not my fault your women are wh0res... It may be because you guys are lousy husbands.

Check yourself bro.

قثصبلغ اعهخخ رليش رةنخح لفغ ؤيسثصشسسثيب