cococandy:
it seems you're more concerned about the butt pads that the real issues you have seeing as you dedicate much of your write-ups to that aspect. Maybe if she decides not to wear butt pads again you will take her back....

cococandy:


Are you the type that like your wife to work and deposit her salary in your personal account so that you will allocate to her how much she can spend on her bra and pant.

If she gets money you guys will build the house in your name alone so that one day when you're tired you will marry a new sisi and chase her out as the house is "your house" alone.

Most of you have slave master mentality. Tell me why you won't have rebellious wives?

cococandy:


I do not support such backward way of reasoning.
If you have money and can't help with bills around the house because you're a lady,why are you a partner then? Abi na decoration you be for the house ?

Things owned by married ppl belong to both of them and not one person.
That's why I cringe when I hear a man in this day and age referring to their matrimonial home as his house alone.

Or when a woman getting married is said to be going to a man's house.such statements are the reason why some ladies don't wanna put their money into tthe marriage since the man won't consider them an equal owner and partner too.

Happy new year too.

Billyonaire:
OP, I must be frank here. You are the cause of the problem. I do not see anything wrong in wearing a butt-pad. Women use most of these artificial beauty-aids to augment their self-confidence and 'look good', it doesnt suggest she is cheating.

I will like to be blunt here; Your wife has done a lot to put up with a man who didnt plan well before engaging in a traditional marriage. You didnt couldnt even afford your rent after traditional marriage and you went ahead to impregnate your wife. Are you silly ? Now the poor woman helps to buy foodstuff, pay rent, and in fact buy herself cloths and butt-pads which is actually your responsibility as a man 100%.

You are NOT financially and psychologically stable enough to get married. I am sorry, this is just the plain truth.

I see nothing wrong in her actions, except ofcourse the curses and abuse, which are actually caused by your actions and inactions.

cococandy:


I do not support such backward way of reasoning.
If you have money and can't help with bills around the house because you're a lady,why are you a partner then? Abi na decoration you be for the house ?

Things owned by married ppl belong to both of them and not one person.
That's why I cringe when I hear a man in this day and age referring to their matrimonial home as his house alone.

Or when a woman getting married is said to be going to a man's house.such statements are the reason why some ladies don't wanna put their money into tthe marriage since the man won't consider them an equal owner and partner too.

Happy new year too.

Rep042:
My marriage is just 1 year and few days old,but within the last 365 days,I have seen torment and hell on daily basis. We dated for 2 years before tying the knot,she's a nice person,but her mouth is destructive,she has this overbearing attitude,always trying to control me or dictate the pace,and can keep malice,anger and record of evil done to her for a long time. She's the type of person that talks very well,I mean convincely well,but unfortunately,she speaks more negative words. She can talk for hours non-stop,especially when provoked,saying all sorts of bad words.

She has threatened to kill me & send assassins after me on different occasions in the past,though I just ignored such threats.

My wife has been abusing me verbally and always say nasty things at every slightest provocation and at the same ready to engage me in fisticuffs.

She can really say unprintable words such as "it will not be well with you","as you go out,people will deal with you", "you will work like an elephant and eat like an ant", "this your certificate will never yield you any good thing", etc, name callings,abuses,curses etc.

Please Nairalanders, I will like to know if it is wrong or out of place for a working class married lady to assist her husband in paying some bills or buying some foodstuffs at home. Because,anytime she assists in doing anything,she will record it and consequently use that to abuse and insult me whenever we have misunderstanding and or exchange of words.

After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges,and then my rent was due for renewable,she offered to assist,at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person,knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time. But,then,I didn't have any alternative,so I allowed her pay d rent. Now,she's claiming ownership,saying ..."which house,the one that I have been paying the rent or another one"...

She has done a lot of character assassination & damages to my personality before some of her relatives & family members(Her father and two sisters),thus they all support her & no longer regard me as anybody.

Few months into our marriage,she started wearing butt pads, I told her to stop ,because I don't like the stuff,but she flared up and we had exchange of words. She told me that she has to look good to outsiders.

Throughout her pregnancy period,she wore the butt pads on daily basis even at home,I allowed her because of her condition,even though it looked disgusting on her. After she put to bed,and few days later, I told her to quit wearing that stuff, but she refused,then I seized it,she started ranting to the hearing of everyone at home & neighbors that I have taken her padded pants(aka butt pad) to native doctor. I just ignored her. Few days later, she bought another set.

On Xmas day(2014),she dressed up & wore the butt pads again,I told her to remove it ,but she refused,then i tried forcing her to do so,and that resulted to a serious fight. She tore my already ironed clothes to pieces(an expensive Indian attire I bought when I travelled to India),I tore hers too and forced the butt pads out from her body.

Hell was let loose that day,because she called her sisters,they came to my house and created a very nasty scene in my neighborhood,they insulted,ridiculed me and made a mockery of me,her elder sister who is a police officer threatened to deal with me,she was talking and hitting her hands on the ground saying that,they are going to teach me some bitter lessons in this town. I tried to respond but my Mum,who's on child's visit(Omugwo) asked me to hold my peace. It wasn't easy though,they also insulted her too.

Since that day till date,my wife doesn't talk to me. The only thing that connects us now is the new born baby.

Her words have actually killed me psychologically, emotionally etc, to the extent that sometimes, I loose consciousness of my surrounding while driving to and fro from work , I will be lost in thought, and on a particular occasion nearly rammed another moving vehicle,if not for the speed bumps on the road that awaken my consciousness.


Her words:"if you are still regarding me as your wife,then you wasting your time". Its obvious she wants a divorce because to her,she's still very young(28 years),and can easily move on. She doesn't give a damn.

She has also repeated that same threat of killing me,these days ,the number of calls entering her phone is amazing,most times,she goes far from the house to answer those calls.

Please,kindly advice me.
Thank you.

Adaobi12:
. even in the face of death.

I know this same bible advocates separation.

miredia:
Without a sweeping generalization, you can force a horse to the river but cannot force it to drink water, this woman does not intend change neither does her family which intensifies the severity of his problems. Like someone rightly said here, "a bad wife with good parents is better than a good wife with bad parents". This man's disposition is gentlemanly and there is a limit to which your threshold for tolerance plays out. His wife is not remorse, has an inclination for promiscuity and clearly has zero love for him.

Truckpusher:
You only heard the op's version of what transpired and I can bet you that if you hear the wife's side of the story you'd be calling for the op's head.

No matter who is at fault here both of them should find a way to make it work and it is a man's duty to take the mantle of leadership when faced with such a difficult situation.Being the leader isn't about being right all the time even if you are right but to use any available space and time to swing changes that would conquer whatever that was the problem.

If you're talking about the phones calls she makes out of the op's earshot, let me also remind you that women does that a lot just to wake up that jealous monster in you and watch you die in plains ,she is just unleashing one of her weapons after all you guys are still at war and in war everything that would stun the enemy is a fair game.How many guys are out there that would welcome a fresh divorcee with an open arm including her baby with her breast flowing with milk and all that stuff that follows the after birth?

I have seen two couple that wouldn't look at each other eyeballs to eyeballs after one year of their marriage with each of them threatening to divorce all day long but now they have 3 kids and happily married.Sometimes we need to go through fire to remain in one piece unless you probably think that living with another human being in one's life for years to come is a child's play.

Marriage will never be a bed of roses my friend and those bad days and things come in different ways.

An old uncle once said that what made him to divorce his wife in the 60s was just enough to divorce her, but right now in this new milennium that women no longer get divorced for doing those things. Funny though, but the lesson there is that if you end up divorcing now you might just wake up after ten years of running up and down to understand that all you did back then was not necessary anymore as events that are unfolding will now open your eyes to your mistakes.

Rep042:

Wow,nairaland family section is indeed a big family. Thank you all for your comments ,advice and suggestions.

I have already accepted all the blames,it was my mistakes,but then,there's no perfect human.

I will like to correct an impression that most posters had,though,it may not be necessary,but I will just have to say it so as to keep the record straight.
I'm financially independent of my wife, I pay all the bills at home, I only allowed her assist me when I had some financial challenges and that was immediately after our trad, I have since bounced back,
plz ,be guided that what I earn in a month,my wife earns same in 4 months or more.Thank You.

dude no one cares about how much you make... we are only worried for your safety. It seems like you are not prepared to leave this woman from your lack of acknowledgement. I just hope it works out well for you and we are not stuck here reading your obituary soon

voodoo85:


u r a weak man! i can't understand what happened to male gender nowadays. btw its your own fault. why did marry if u knew how she is?! stop complaining and deal with a problem! fuccking be a man

CGKing:
I feel you bro. I really feel you and I am sorry for all you have gone through. There so much of this nonsense happening everywhere, it's like end time for marriages. And after what my fiancé put me through recently. I decided its safer and happier not to be married at a all. I practically had to go to the kitchen to hide the kitchen knives. Guy, no need for marriage.

dinachi:
I am very sorry my brother, but you married a feminist! They are an extremely wicked bunch of man hating women...whose only understanding of love is when they in control...

She can really say unprintable words such as " it will not be well with you","as you go out,people will deal with you", "you will work like an elephant and eat like an ant", "this your certificate will never yield you any good thing", etc, name callings,abuses,curses etc .

Rep042:

Wow,nairaland family section is indeed a big family. Thank you all for your comments ,advice and suggestions.

I have already accepted all the blames,it was my mistakes,but then,there's no perfect human.

I will like to correct an impression that most posters had,though,it may not be necessary,but I will just have to say it so as to keep the record straight.
I'm financially independent of my wife, I pay all the bills at home, I only allowed her assist me when I had some financial challenges and that was immediately after our trad, I have since bounced back,
plz ,be guided that what I earn in a month,my wife earns same in 4 months or more.Thank You.

Rep042:

Wow,nairaland family section is indeed a big family. Thank you all for your comments ,advice and suggestions.

I have already accepted all the blames,it was my mistakes,but then,there's no perfect human.

I will like to correct an impression that most posters had,though,it may not be necessary,but I will just have to say it so as to keep the record straight.
I'm financially independent of my wife, I pay all the bills at home, I only allowed her assist me when I had some financial challenges and that was immediately after our trad, I have since bounced back,
plz ,be guided that what I earn in a month,my wife earns same in 4 months or more.Thank You.

Natasha2:


You can't accept all the blame, anyway thats by the way.


What have you decided to do now?

miredia:
He has decided to take you as a replacement