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Why I Should Take A Second Wife! - Islam for Muslims (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 7:26pm On Mar 05, 2015
Justfollowit:


I disagree. It is your fault. I don't like when people shift their responsibilities.


Where are you from?

Its your fault that you have feelings and you become attracted to a person? Lol okay.
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 7:31pm On Mar 05, 2015
YourMain:


Its your fault that you have feelings and you become attracted to a person? Lol okay.


Let me rephrase that

It becomes your headache when you act on it.
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 7:33pm On Mar 05, 2015
Justfollowit:


Let me rephrase that

It becomes your headache when you act on it.

Lol when you're not a sociopath. You fall in love. And you ignore it and live in misery.
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 7:38pm On Mar 05, 2015
YourMain:


Lol when you're not a sociopath. You fall in love. And you ignore it and live in misery.

What's wrong with being a sociopath? undecided

Love is just like any other feeling. It is a thing of the mind. Besides I do not agree that that was the type of love they had, definitely not with a wife at home. And if that was it the man must be WICKED.

You fall in love because you choose to.
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 7:41pm On Mar 05, 2015
Justfollowit:


What's wrong with being a sociopath? undecided

Love is just like any other feeling. It is a thing of the mind. Besides I do not agree that that was the type of love they had, definitely not with a wife at home. And if that was it the man must be WICKED.

You fall in love because you choose to.


Oh I see. Seems to me like you've never had a passionate uncontrollable kinda love. I Dont agree. I've tried to love a lot of things. I can only fake it.

Sociopaths are usually the ones that kill. If you've no problem with that then nothing. There's nothing wrong with sociopaths.
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 7:56pm On Mar 05, 2015
YourMain:


Oh I see. Seems to me like you've never had a passionate uncontrollable kinda love. I Dont agree. I've tried to love a lot of things. I can only fake it.

Sociopaths are usually the ones that kill. If you've no problem with that then nothing. There's nothing wrong with sociopaths.

I have never had that passionate uncontrollable love because I knew when to stop! I do not indulge it!


That was why I asked my first question

What would you advice if it was the kinda love I have for a non-Muslim guy?



You might even be living with a sociopath unknowingly undecided

All serial killers or mass murderers are sociopaths but not all sociopaths are serial killers. The good ones are capable of love and sacrifice unlike most men they know when to draw the line between reality and mere feelings.
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:03pm On Mar 05, 2015
Justfollowit:


I have never had that passionate uncontrollable love because I knew when to stop! I do not indulge it!


That was why I asked my first question

What would you advice if it was the kinda love I have for a non-Muslim guy?



You might even be living with a sociopath unknowingly undecided

All serial killers or mass murderers are sociopaths but not all sociopaths are serial killers. The good ones are capable of love and sacrifice unlike most men they know when to draw the line between reality and mere feelings.

I'm sorry if this may sound rude or mean. But you sound very boring. Living life to the rules never coloring outside the Lines. I don't mean to be mean or anything. Just saying.

In my opinion, passionate crazy uncontrollable loves are the best kind.

Well if you're asking me. If I would. Yes. Me I would. You. Meh I dunno.

If you say so
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:07pm On Mar 05, 2015
YourMain:


I'm sorry if this may sound rude or mean. But you sound very boring. Living life to the rules never coloring outside the Lines. I don't mean to be mean or anything. Just saying.

In my opinion, passionate crazy uncontrollable loves are the best kind.

Well if you're asking me. If I would. Yes. Me I would. You. Meh I dunno.

If you say so

Have I ever been described as boring? NOPE

I do not conform to rules infact I love to question them

However I would not doing something spontaneous to inflict pain on others
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:14pm On Mar 05, 2015
Justfollowit:


Have I ever been described as boring? NOPE

I do not conform to rules infact I love to question them

However I would not doing something spontaneous to inflict pain on others

Am I calling you boring? YUPP

Lol love is a rule?

Neither would I
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:16pm On Mar 05, 2015
YourMain:


Am I calling you boring? YUPP

Lol love is a rule?

Neither would I

Falling in love to hurt someone is not right.

It is not a rule it is common sense
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:20pm On Mar 05, 2015
Justfollowit:


Falling in love to hurt someone is not right.

It is not a rule it is common sense


Who are you hurting? Wifey number one?

Well you said love is like any other feeling. Being upset is a feeling. Its a thing of the mind. So... Wifey numero uno will have to get over it.
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:23pm On Mar 05, 2015
YourMain:


Who are you hurting? Wifey number one?

Well you said love is like any other feeling. Being upset is a feeling. Its a thing of the mind. So... Wifey numero uno will have to get over it.

You are right she had to get over it. But her feelings have priority over any other feelings. Whether she wants to get over it or not it is no one's business because all other feelings are subject to hers.

Are you a wife number 2?
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:26pm On Mar 05, 2015
Justfollowit:


You are right she had to get over it. But her feelings have priority over any other feelings. Whether she wants to get over it or not it is no one's business because all other feelings are subject to hers.

Are you a wife number 2?

Ehm sorry but why are her feelings priority? I think men fall out of love easier than women do. And you can't really blame him If he falls out of love and he happens to meet someone else who he is in love with. Love isn't always eternal.

Lol I'm not married. I've never been married. I'm waaaaaay too young.
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:28pm On Mar 05, 2015
Justfollowit is spot on. You do not fall in love (to the point of wanting to marry the other) unplanned. Especially men who are almost always in control of their feelings. They put themself in a position were they fall in love with a lady they KNEW were attracted to. They facilitate the whole thing and then claim that they couldn't help it lol.

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Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:30pm On Mar 05, 2015
YourMain:


Ehm sorry but why are her feelings priority? I think men fall out of love easier than women do. And you can't really blame him If he falls out of love and he happens to meet someone else who he is in love with. Love isn't always eternal.

Lol I'm not married. I've never been married. I'm waaaaaay too young.

Hers take priority becomes she was was the first. Therefore it would be a great injustice to start with the lastest.


Why is it easier for men when we all agreed that women are the weaker sex.

Is your mum the second wife?
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:33pm On Mar 05, 2015
Yareey:
Justfollowit is spot on. You do not fall in love (to the point of wanting to marry the other) unplanned. Especially men who are almost always in control of their feelings. They put themself in a position were they fall in love with a lady they KNEW were attracted to. They facilitate the whole thing and then claim that they couldn't help it lol.

Imagine telling your first wife that the love you had for the other wife is gretaer than the one you had for her. Yet you would want her to care for you like she always do

I have heard that argument so many times that all I could do was to shut my mouth and listen.

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Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:34pm On Mar 05, 2015
Justfollowit:


Hers take priority becomes she was was the first. Therefore it would be a great injustice to start with the lastest.


Why is it easier for men when we all agree that women are the weaker sex.

Is your mum the second wife?

Lol nope. My mother is the one and only wifey.

Oh because I met you first and we signed a piece of paper first we're now bonded for good? That's a bit unfair.

I do not agree women are the weaker sex actually. I just think women should stop playing victim. Where I live polygamy is actually illegal. And it is absolutely insanaw the amount of women fighting this law.
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:37pm On Mar 05, 2015
Justfollowit:


Imagine telling your first wife that the love you had for the other wife is gretaer than the one you had for her. Yet you would want her to care for you like she always do

I have heard that argument so many times that all I could do was to shut my mouth and listen.

Madness! I know a man who talked his first into paying the bills of his second wife. And the poor women did that for years.

But it's our own fault if we are honest. If we do not have each other's back then who will?
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:41pm On Mar 05, 2015
YourMain:


Ehm sorry but why are her feelings priority? I think men fall out of love easier than women do. And you can't really blame him If he falls out of love and he happens to meet someone else who he is in love with. Love isn't always eternal.

Lol I'm not married. I've never been married. I'm waaaaaay too young.
Then why not divorce her and give her the chance to find a man who will love her. Why are they so greedy?
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:42pm On Mar 05, 2015
Yareey:

Then why not divorce her and give her the chance to find a man who will love her. Why so greedy?

Yeah obviously Nigerian men are looking to find single mums to marry yeah?

He doesn't have to stop loving her.
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:46pm On Mar 05, 2015
YourMain:


Yeah obviously Nigerian men are looking to find single mums to marry yeah?

He doesn't have to stop loving her.
I don't know about Nigerian men but we Somalis are accepting when it comes to these things. Why would a divorced or a widowed man refuse to marry a single mom?
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:50pm On Mar 05, 2015
Yareey:

I don't know about Nigerian men but we Somalis are accepting when it comes to these things. Why would a divorced or a widowed man refuse to marry a single mom?

Oh that's great then. If she wants someone else then she should divorce him.

But as a woman if I love someone. Their happiness comes first for me. And I know he loves me and he didn't go out of his way to fall in love with another just to hurt me. Then I could see it being okay. Love doesn't have to be so possessive.

Well must men are reluctant to be with a woman with 'baggage'
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 9:00pm On Mar 05, 2015
YourMain:


Oh that's great then. If she wants someone else then she should divorce him.

But as a woman if I love someone. Their happiness comes first for me. And I know he loves me and he didn't go out of his way to fall in love with another just to hurt me. Then I could see it being okay. Love doesn't have to be so possessive.

Well must men are reluctant to be with a woman with 'baggage'

"if I love someone. Their happiness comes first for me. " Shouldn't he think the same about you? Especially if your good to him and gave him kids?

You sound like a sweet girl, I hope that you will not fall in the hands of a man who will take advantage of your kindness.

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Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 9:03pm On Mar 05, 2015
Yareey:


"if I love someone. Their happiness comes first for me. " Shouldn't he think the same about you? Especially if your good to him and gave him kids?

You sound like a sweet girl, I hope that you will not fall in the hands of a man who will take advantage of your kindness.

Of course I married this guy. But if were both in a relationship and one of us in unhappy because he's afraid of hurting me. He will eventually detest me.

Awh thanks very kind thank you. And you too
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 9:07pm On Mar 05, 2015
YourMain:


Lol nope. My mother is the one and only wifey.

Oh because I met you first and we signed a piece of paper first we're now bonded for good? That's a bit unfair.

I do not agree women are the weaker sex actually. I just think women should stop playing victim. Where I live polygamy is actually illegal. And it is absolutely insanaw the amount of women fighting this law.

Why can't we play the victim? We are the victim, it was our feelings that would be hurt in the whole proceedings. Or would you rather is pretend to like it.

Because I met you first gives all right over you. Humans are naturally selfish, telling them to sacrifice their selfishness for some other minor selfish interest does not sound reasonable to me at all.

If I saw £100 on the road, I am no under any obligation to share it. The last time I checked there was no part of the Qur'an that says that I am under an obligation to share my husband with some other woman.

You have missed a very crucial point, the feminists advocating for polygamy have ulterior motives. Wait till they pass it is then we can now discuss about the effects
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 9:10pm On Mar 05, 2015
Yareey:

Madness! I know a man who talked his first into paying the bills of his second wife. And the poor women did that for years.

But it's our own fault if we are honest. If we do not have each other's back then who will?

If a man wants love give him unconditional love but if he wants the otherwise what is stopping you.

That ability to reciprocate feelings is one of my greatest strength and I would not even blink an eye.
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 9:15pm On Mar 05, 2015
Justfollowit:


Why can't we play the victim? We are the victim, it was our feelings that would be hurt in the whole proceedings. Or would you rather is pretend to like it.

Because I met you first gives all right over you. Humans are naturally selfish, telling them to sacrifice their selfishness for some other minor selfish interest does not sound reasonable to me at all.

If I saw £100 on the road, I am no under any obligation to share it. The last time I checked there was no part of the Qur'an that says that I am under an obligation to share my husband with some other woman.

You have missed a very crucial point, the feminists advocating for polygamy have ulterior motives. Wait till they pass it is then we can now discuss about the effects

Lol that's really possesivse tho I think.

Because you think you're the victim and you deserve some soft of change because you are hurt. That's what makes you inferior.

No I asked my Islamic teacher why she would ever ever want her husband to have another wife cause I had told her if my husband got another wife I'd get another husband. The Qur'an says it grants Jannah to a woman whose husband died happy with her. Your husband might meet someone else and fall in love with her. Shiit happens. And when you claimed to love him you didn't say It was because he was yours.

Btw I mean 'you' as in women in general
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 9:23pm On Mar 05, 2015
Justfollowit:


If a man wants love give him unconditional love but if he wants the otherwise what is stopping you.

That ability to reciprocate feelings is one of my greatest strength and I would not even blink an eye.
I would have zero tolerance if my husband tried that shit on me. So I understand what you mean.
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 9:28pm On Mar 05, 2015
YourMain:


Lol that's really possesivse tho I think.

Because you think you're the victim and you deserve some soft of change because you are hurt. That's what makes you inferior.

No I asked my Islamic teacher why she would ever ever want her husband to have another wife cause I had told her if my husband got another wife I'd get another husband. The Qur'an says it grants Jannah to a woman whose husband died happy with her. Your husband might meet someone else and fall in love with her. Shiit happens. And when you claimed to love him you didn't say It was because he was yours.

Btw I mean 'you' as in women in general

What you are saying is so as not to be inferior I should not be hurt. You have been moving with the wrong crowd. I cannot give up some rights because of Allah. And yet you expect me to give up more when I know I can hold on it if I wanted to


Your Islamic teacher forgot to tell you that Allah is a just and merciful God. If my parents disown or hate me because I am a Muslim, would that make me lose Jannah. What makes you think I will not divorce him if he tried it undecided.

No, I will not be influenced to give effect to someone's selfish interest.

I do not have to love him because he was mine at the moment. I can define my love however I wanted because I was first in line.


I have no issue with polygamy unless if you are unreasonably selfish. Polygamy is not a matter to trifle with at all and I would not accept stupid reasons for its ssake
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 9:31pm On Mar 05, 2015
Yareey:

I would have zero tolerance if my husband tried that shit on me. So I understand what you mean.

Lol. According to Empiree, you do not have strong iman cool

I don't know about me

I may or may not agree to it. It is in the hands of God and the future husband
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 9:33pm On Mar 05, 2015
Justfollowit:


Lol. According to Empiree, you do not have strong iman cool

I don't know about me

I may or may not agree to it. It is in the hands of God and the future husband
Luckily Empiree is not my Lord grin

Let him decide how strong my iman is lol
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 9:37pm On Mar 05, 2015
Yareey:

Luckily Empiree is not my Lord grin

Let him decide how strong my iman is lol

tongue tongue tongue

Nice chatting with you !

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