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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / Islam for Muslims / Why I Should Take A Second Wife! (12713 Views)
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Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 9:38pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
Justfollowit: No what I'm saying is you're inferior because you play victim all the time. Women fall out of love too. Leave the man and marry someone else. How is this fair on the man? You take away his kids and his wife because you "allow yourself to fall in love" with someone else. And for Just and Merciful reasons he made it possible for men to have more than one wife. Well do as you please. Divorce him. He will be unhappy with you. You will be unhappy with you. And maybe you'll marry a somalain after cause you and I both know most men wouldn't look your way. I Dont agree that its being selfish at all. What would you have him do? He is in love with Someone else? He doesn't wish you divorce you. He will treat yiu the exact same. And he loved you at one point. Its jot suddenly going to die off. No. You loved him because he was yours. Because the second he stopped being yours and only yours your suddenly willing to leave him? I have no problems with polygamy either. I personally would accept that into my home. But I do understand if someone was to do it |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 9:41pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
Justfollowit:Likewise sis! |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 9:50pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
YourMain: Then he is going to fall out of love and marry another then another then another till he dies. Sounds perfect! You are right I can divorce him. Who is thinking of remarrying? You kidding me? Why can't I play the victim, I am the weaker sex for goodness sake ![]() I will definitely play the weaker sex when you claim to have fallen out love with me but in love with someone else. I must be a robot, capable of any feelings because I came from your ribs. Do I look helpless to him for him to claim that he is helping me by not divorcing me I will be so stupid to fall that shit How is this different from men who love their mistresses, one is halal and the other is haram. How many women will claim to love another man at the expense of her family? I am supposed to focus on my marriage but my husband can choose to either focus on his family or take responsibilities for all the lonely women in the world. *Soliloquising to self* I think I get it- someone has to clean the mess and it has to be every bloody time. Why? Becuase I am woman, duh 3 Likes |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 9:57pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
Justfollowit: Then go for it girl. Play the weaker sex. Then complain that women aren't being treated fairly. Dont remarry. All kids love growing up without a father. Lol well he could love you too. You and her both. Haha you live in the UK. You are helpless. You might pretend and act like its okay. But we all know what happens to kids in the UK without stable families. Lol if they loved their Mistress they'd wife her up. You can focus on your kids your life your job. There's a lot of things outside marriage. No its you because most likely, you created the problem. |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Empiree: 10:06pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
Yareey:Lol, i wasn't looking in your heart to determine level of your iman. No, that's not my point. My point was since Islam allows polygamy, it's imperative for all muslims to obey it whether we are comfortable with it or not. By obey, i meant to submit to the authority of Quran does not necessarily mean man must marry more wives. You may persuade your husband to stick with you only but you can't compel him not to marry another woman if he has resources and just. |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 10:14pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
YourMain: Love does not translate to marriage in practical terms. I am allowed to play the weaker sex when my statement is subjected to his but I cannot be weak when he is getting married to another. Weaker sex in their definition meant that we have to be pampered and as for me I do not mind being pampered o . I must forgotten to tell you how lazy I am You should have told me from the beginning that this whole concept of marriage is to burden the woman. I would have understood where you are coming from ![]() As for me, I am never going to have a broken home and Allah Forbid I do, It won't be my fault. When I do things I give it all my best. However I will not allow selfishness and inconsideration from anyone. Never have and never will. Why don't you stop making excuses for irresponsibility. He fell in love because he chose to. Why would you be involve with someone who claim to have fallen in love out his volition ![]() 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 10:21pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
Justfollowit: Oh. So tell me all your male friends right now have the intention of falling for you? Oh okay. He should love the other woman outside the home? You probably wouldn't be okay with that too. Polygamous homes are happy too. I just think were being so harsh on men. And they are allowed have feelings too. And sometimes things start off great and they meet someone else. And then if they divorce you. So much drama and all that will be caused. The poor chap is stuck with you for life. Tbh I think marriage isn't a burden at all. It is a sort of "security" for a woman and her children . |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 10:22pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
Empiree: Have you forgotten that charity is one the main pillars of Islam? So what type of person would dispense his resources for his own selfish interest whenthere are several orphans out there he could sponsor. My wish is to adopt lots of children. That would have been different if I were a man with some little change The concept of just is very subjective even the prophet experienced some difficulties but the good thing is you are not the prophet so do not compare yourself with him |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 10:34pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
YourMain: Would you like me start counting? ![]() If a man is allowed to fall in love with his friend with total disregard for his marriage and it is also acceptable for the wife to fall in love with her friend with total disregad for her home- What is going to be the faith of marriage as an institution. Well, I am also stuck with him for life. I did not leave my father's comfort to be treated like some used clothing in his house. Burden is when you restrict yourself with so much however it is not reciprocated in like terms. Personally, I also know many happy polygamous homes What type of security? To have a home? Oh yeah! I just remembered she is the weaker sex |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Empiree: 10:40pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
[quote author=Justfollowit post=31342379] Have you forgotten that charity is one the main pillars of Islam?...and? So what type of person would dispense his resources for his own selfish interest whenthere are several orphans out there he could sponsor.what's this has to do with a man willing to marry another wife? My wish is to adopt lots of children. That would have been different if I were a man with some little changeYou mixing stuff up here. What's charity has to do with marrying another wife? The concept of just is very subjective even the prophet experienced some difficulties but the good thing is you are not the prophet so do not compare yourself with himI honestly don't understand how you manage to mix up charity with polygamy. Marrying another wife correlates NOT with adopting orphans |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 10:42pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
[quote author=Empiree post=31342859][/quote] If he has the resources then he can as well dispense it to better the society and the welfare of the Muslim ummah. |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Empiree: 10:50pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
Justfollowit:You dont understand stuff. His Private Life A man can have resources, marry 4 wives, many children. His Other Life And at the same time, own businesses, have employees, own charity foundation, voluntary gives to miskin. So are you telling me just because he has resources should only be invested on charity...that's?. You funny |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 11:18pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
Justfollowit: Lol okay oo. Well I'm going to talk to my boyfriend and warn him very well ![]() |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:14am On Mar 06, 2015 |
Empiree:Why would we have to persuade him after marriage when we can choose what kind of marriage we want before saying "I do". A lady with a working brain will check how he stands in these matters before hand. And make it clear that she will not accept it if he change his mind down the road. As justfollowit brilliantly said, why leave to comfort of your father's house to be "one of Ahmeds 4 wives" It makes no sense! Unless your really really poor and Ahmed is a oil sheikh ![]() |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Empiree: 8:29am On Mar 06, 2015 |
Yareey:okay, this is my opinion here. Show me evidence from qur'an that islam recognizes such "agreement" be made before marriage IF woman doesn't want 2nd wife ? |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 8:42am On Mar 06, 2015 |
Empiree:You playing the wrong game. A lady can choose whoever she wants to marry, it's her right. That means she can choose to not marry a man who is planning to have more wives or is open to having more then one wife. You want me to look for that? This is basic knowledge everyone knows. If he lies about his intentions before marriage and decides to marry another women down the line then she can and in my opinion should reconsider her marriage. The marriage was based on a lie, he was greedy and wanted to have his cake and eat it too. I got no respect for such men. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Empiree: 8:58am On Mar 06, 2015 |
[quote author=Yareey post=31350814] certainly. That means she can choose to not marry a man who is planning to have more wives or is open to having more then one wife.how would you know he's "planing" to marry another wife when he's just getting married for the first time? If he lies about his intentions before marriage and decides to marry another women down the line then she can and in my opinion should reconsider her marriage.I really dont think the intention is always there in the beginning cuz he loves his wife and wouldn't be thinking of other woman at the moment The marriage was based on a lie, he was greedy and wanted to have his cake and eat it too. I got no respect for such men.This is wrong notion. Circumstance could arise. I will never make such promise knowing Allah knows best what lies ahead. It doesnt mean he's a liar. Listen, dont do that to your husband. Dont ask him if he is going to marry another woman. You may as well remind him easily by asking when he's not even thinking of it. 1 Like |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 9:26am On Mar 06, 2015 |
[quote author=Empiree post=31351274][/quote] You have to be out of your mind to tell me not to ask these questions. A lady can't marry a second husband and it would be down right stupid not to ask your suitor how he feels about polygamy before marriage. In fact a lady who didn't ask these questions should not even think about complaining when/if her husband marries another women. She didn't do her homework properly in the first place. There isn't a guy above the age of 25 who haven't thought about polygamy and how he feels about having more then one wives. You are not putting ideas in his head by bringing this up. And if you are then all the better because you reminding him of something important. It would be bad if his pro polygamy friends did that after you married him lmao. Allah gave men the opportunity to have more then one wife. And Allah gave women the opportunity to choose what kind of marriage they want. Everybody has the opportunity to have the family they want. IF people are honest about their desires. I do not believe that you can fall in love to the point of wanting to marry the lady unplanned. You choose to socialize with a lady you are attracted to. It's a choice not something that you couldn't help. For example What would a man do if he meets a attractive lady but already has 4 wives? He would keep her at arms length and make sure that he doesn't develop strong feelings. He would choose not to socialize with her.Why can't a man do the same thing when he has one wife? Why is it something that couldn't be stopped when you have open slots but suddenly becomes achievable when he already has 4 wives. I call bullshit |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Empiree: 9:45am On Mar 06, 2015 |
Yareey:He must observe the limits set in the Qur'an. I got u upset? 1 Like |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 9:56am On Mar 06, 2015 |
Empiree:That's all you managed to come up with? I shouldn't be surprised tho... Empty barrel make the most noise after all. |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Empiree: 12:44pm On Mar 06, 2015 |
Yareey: ![]() |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 1:31pm On Mar 06, 2015 |
Empiree: No true muslim would ask her husband to promise never to observe his Solah after marriage. But for matters wholly selfish and personal, we can ask whatever. |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Empiree: 1:45pm On Mar 06, 2015 |
Justfollowit:it's alright |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 12:14pm On Mar 07, 2015 |
Justfollowit:so wat r reasons to u to practice polygamy |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 12:19pm On Mar 07, 2015 |
Justfollowit:who says he has fallen out of Luv for you bcs he is taking another wif. The prophet saw despite his Luv for aisha still tuk oda wives |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 12:25pm On Mar 07, 2015 |
Ummuja: Love is different for love The prophet did not marry another ride when he was with Khadijah. We are all aware that out of all his wives he loved Aisha the most. If they can proffer other reasons , reasonable and non-selfish reasons. Then who am I to reject them |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by busar(m): 7:24am On Mar 08, 2015 |
I read from the first page down to this, most of the arguments were purely baseless and full of emotions.In islam, you don't allow your emotions overrides the laws of Allah. We don't quite get reasons behind polygamy. Marrying a second wife doesn't mean the love the husband had for the wife has faded. There are numerous reasons why someone could take a second, third or fourth wives. Do not let your emotions overtake the laws of Allah. Allah says "It's not fitting for a believer, man or woman,when a matter has been decided by Allah and His messenger to have any option about their decision. If anyone disobeys Allah and His messenger, he is indeed clearly on a wrong path(the path of hell)" suratul Ahzab vs 36. May Allah make us among those that will listen to good word and follow the goodness in it. 1 Like |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Empiree: 8:22am On Mar 08, 2015 |
I beg tell them. They seem to have feminist tendencies |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by busar(m): 4:44pm On Mar 08, 2015 |
[quote author=oremusanctus007 post=31423990][/quote]Are you done? 1 Like |
Re: Why I Should Take A Second Wife! by Nobody: 4:44pm On Mar 08, 2015 |
oremusanctus007:n ds one wasn't banned smh |
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