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Challenges Of A Single Mother by rittyben(f): 6:46pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
Our society frown so much at single mothers. People see them as irresponsible girl(s) that "God decided to expose". You introduce your child, the next question is "so you are married", or "thought you are single". You confirm that you are single, the next respond is "oh" or they make one funny face. But in truth, our only crime was to say NO to ABORTION. 66 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by iliyande(m): 6:57pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
That's right. 6 Likes |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by GboyegaD(m): 7:01pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
You do not owe the society any explanation whatsoever. You are bold to stand by the consequence of your actions and those who are matured in reasoning wouldn't look down on you. 58 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by Nobody: 7:04pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
As far as you are an adult, and you have sense, and its a free world, being a single mother is your headache. The only thing is for women to stop making other people see them as victims of what they knowingly went into. 32 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by MizMyColi(f): 7:06pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
Waiting for those who are the perfect expression of judgmental(ism) to fill this thread. ![]() ![]() ![]() 8 Likes |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by Tallesty1(m): 7:12pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
MizMyColi:I am here. Saying NO to abortion isn't their crime. Their crime is fornication and unprotected sex. cococandy:I have a feeling this is one of your advanced sarcasm but just in case it isn't. I am trying and God is my strength. Thanks adanduka:I don't have to be a saint to say the truth, what is wrong is wrong even if the whole world is doing it. Our Parents said we should abstain from Premarital sex, we said NO, we shall do it. A group after seeing that we can't zip up decided to invent another means of protection, they didn't just invent it, they made sure it is affordable but the rebellious generation said NO, skin to skin is better. So they went ahead and had sex against the warnings of their parents and government and got pregnant, now they expect us to congratulate them when the consequence surfaces. Something that wouldn't have happened if we had listened to all the warnings that were issued to us. It is not like I am condemning anybody but they should know that the whole world won't accept them. If you are strong enough to open your leg and have unprotected sex then you should also be brave enough to stand up and live with the consequences, Jesus was a good man yet he was stoned. There is nothing you will do on earth that will be generally accepted, not one. Obey your parents and abstain from sex, or better still use condom or be ready to face the stigmatization. Edusouls:You can insult me all you like, insults from kids don't move me at all. 97 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by dre11(m): 7:13pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
Just having the heart and conviction of bring forth the life in your stomach to life shows the real woman in you no matter what happens......... The society might frown at it, but being at peace with your soul, mind and God is the ultimate Because you don't know who he/she is going to be 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by Chillis: 7:18pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
rittyben: FVCK WHAT the society thinks. Do the best for you and your child. If them like make dem keep face like gorilla. How will that put food on your table ![]() Yeye society that let's paedophile roam around every corner. 19 Likes |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by emperorchedda(m): 7:28pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
I got love for single mothers. I can even take one to the altar 12 Likes |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by rittyben(f): 7:33pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
MizMyColi:Lol They are arriving 1 Like |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by coogar: 7:36pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
rittyben: come off the pity-party rubbish. you knew the kinda society you come from before you made the decision to bear the child. since you knew the criticism of the society would get to you then you should have aborted or......avoid unprotected sex. 18 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by rittyben(f): 7:38pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
coogar:lol Am glad i took the decision i did. 18 Likes |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by MizMyColi(f): 7:40pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
Tallesty1: Which most of us.......aren't free of either. No one is free, including those of us who are naturals at packaging ourselves such that the world sees us as Holy Saint Nwejehs ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() We all have secrets, stuff we'd do anything to protect....so it doesn't fall within the eye and ear shot of "The Wrong" People. I am not interested as such in my past..... Except for reference and healing purposes, I am neither interested in hers nor any other person's for that matter. My major concern remains; What Is The Way Forward? Ultimately.....what defines a person as good or bad......in my worldview isn't their action(s).....It's their soul. 18 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by goodmorning40: 7:41pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
I look forward to the day we begin to have single father's too, the day our men will stop being cow brained and begin to live up to their responsibilities if u can't handle it then leave the girl alone ur life does not depend on konji 34 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by MizMyColi(f): 7:43pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
![]() coogar: 3 Likes |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by coogar: 7:46pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
rittyben: even better..... then deal with the discrimination. MizMyColi: mizmycoli the coward - how can i help you? ![]() 10 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by SAMBARRY: 7:47pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
Wetin consain you and society. Woman up and stand by your decision after all if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything. If you woman up and face your baby nobarryyy will have the effrontery to face you. Even if them give you one give them 5 The only thing I am against is that if you don't have the resources to be a single mom don't bring a child to this world to come and suffer. We already have enough nuisances in this world including nl 15 Likes |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by Expsbterror(m): 7:51pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
MizMyColi: #the truth is bitter sha. |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by Chillis: 7:53pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
I would take being single mother 100million times than stay in some marriages I see in Nigeria. Chukwu ekwala ehi ojor. At least you won't be treating stds. just dey flex with your baby dey go. 29 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by rittyben(f): 7:54pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
[quote author=SAMBARRY post=31720035]Wetin consain you and society. Woman up and stand by your decision after all if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything. If you woman up and face your baby nobarryyy will have the effrontery to face you. Even if them give you one give them 5 The only thing I am against is that if you don't have the resources to be a single mom don't bring a child to this world to come and suffer. We already have enough nuisances in this world including nl[/quote LOL |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by Tallesty1(m): 7:55pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
MizMyColi:I need more explanation on the reddened before I reply you. |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by bukatyne(f): 7:57pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
rittyben: How many people have walked up to you to discriminate you? You have got your life to live and yea the society might have skeletons in their cupboard you can never acquire And most importantly, do not expect pity from people or believe you are entitled to smpathy because you are a single mom. 14 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by jmoore(m): 8:30pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
Your mind is discriminating against you. 14 Likes |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by MizMyColi(f): 8:53pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
coogar: ![]() ![]() I'd wanted calling you out.... The emboldened made me pedal down. **Modified**In response to the post below bellong: bellong: Goodmorning ![]() Please read the first statement again, I said....."Which Most of us aren't free from either. bellong: You prolly thought I meant something Sooo Bad when I said that. While it is true that most of us have done, said or thought stuff which we don't want out there.....except of course, it'd inspire someone else to be better..... I maintain that even among the purest of us.....there is a vice (human limitation), story (based on our chosen paths/journies), that we'd do anything to keep from getting to a crowd we perceive as wrong for such news. For example.....I'm not a typical church girl, I go to church because that's one way to keep my Mom in the know that her daughter hasn't gone haywire. I really don't believe that there's a God up above the sky. I believe that the God and Heaven we so desire lies within us, and that, until we turn towards this power and dimension within us, raising it up for the world to see.......we'd continue enjoying, even in our suffering.I don't believe in Hell. I have lost faith in institutional Christianity. Simply put? I see no need in attending Church as I know it today. Another example.....I have a habit of not letting my fingernails rest. In order words......I rarely, if ever, grow fingers. Matter of fact? I chew them! EEEwwwwww. ![]() ^^^Now these things, as far as I'm concerned are no big deal, they are not baaaaaaaad. But take the first example to a church, a fundamentalist Christian Church....I will be stoned. Take the other to a gathering of society girls......alpha female circles, I will be so looked down on. Same goes for her story @OP. While it is true that she is worthy of condemnation to some us who live in this part of a worldview. While it is true that she is not permitted to flaunt her single motherhood.....lest she be termed promiscuous, there are actually people out there (albeit few) who are willing to accept her (wholly), actively seeking ways to make a better person out of her, while setting her free to live her life. bellong: Please check my statement again, I said "not interested as such" meaning, while the past may be important, I am not going to dwell so much on it......I am not going to let the condemning voice of myself and that of the world keep me there, I'm moving on ![]() Just like Apostle Paul quipped......"Forgetting Those Things Which Are Behind......And pressing Forward.......Towards The Mark...." bellong: We're saying the same thing here. It's just a question of perspective and conditioning. You call it Correctional, I call it Healing.....largely because I believe that only the divine can transform a person for good, such that it manifests outwardly. I will keep saying it.....as far as I am concerned, the best I can do is talk and maybe vent my anger and frustration at a person whom I feel is violating or has violated a moral law (in the name of correcting them). But only God-Within can actually lead a man to repentance, urging him to change his ways. The best I can do is show them acceptance and Love, reassuring them that it's not the end of the road, and that they can actually get better. bellong: While I cannot fault your opinion, you'd agree with me, what we do here mostly is keep dwelling on the person's mistake, and then re-dwelling on it, calling them out for the waste of sperm we think they are. We refer to the past, not out of a motive of genuinely seeking to correct/heal their future, but because we want to go ballistic and judgemental on them. (Most of us, if not all, are unwittingly prone to this). bellong: I'd have to disagree with you @TheEmboldened. Declaring my reasons would be another epistle. You're right @English Says..... And you're right......in this regard, I'm more a student of the meta physical than the conventional ways. While Christianity taught me that everyone is inherently bad, I choose to see the exact opposite. When a person comes off as rabid and vile and plain insulting......I try to look beyond what that person portends in the physical..... I ask questions, I apply wisdom (which might sometimes entail loving them from afar), I try to grasp what might have inspired such behaviour......I reckon that God sees all of his creation as good, as worthy beings, irrespective of their past/present.....he sees everyone through the lens of what they can be. Walking in this awareness has transformed me......and I believe that it holds the power to transform many too. I do not claim to have apprehended on this (I actually falter a lot more than I get it right) ![]() ![]() But I have a goal, an endgame......To see everyone, irrespective of what they are now, as God sees them. #NuffSaid 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by bellong: 9:01pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
MizMyColi: This is fallacy of generalization. Not everybody is into fornication, no matter how bad the society is, there will always be some remnants who fear God wholly from childhood. And not everybody has a secret or stuff they will do anything to protect. Always speak for yourself. Even if it is 98% of the population protecting one secret or the other, the remaining 2% disqualifies it from being "WE ALL HAVE SECRETS......" I am not interested as such in my past..... You should be interested in your past. You need to look at the past, consider where you made mistakes, what led to it and why yopu made so as to proffer a lasting solution or prevent re-occurrence. Forgeting the past completely is a recipe of repeating the mistakes of the past. Except for reference and healing purposes, I am neither interested in hers nor any other person's for that matter. Not just reference or healing alone, for correctional purpose as detailed earlier. So, we are interested in her past, she could still be engaged in what led her becoming a single mum. My major concern remains; What Is The Way Forward? Yes, you have a valid point here... What is the way forward. However, knowledge about the past will help a concrete way forward prescription. Ultimately.....what defines a person as good or bad......in my worldview isn't their action(s).....It's their soul. Whatever lies in the soul will be exhibited in the actions. The abundance of the soul drives a person to act. In essence, this your theory is contradictory.... You should be interested in the actions of everybody. Your actions tell us who you are and what you hold sacred. Knowing the soul is getting metaphysical. At least, English says "actions speak louder than words...." @Op, You should learn to live without validation from the society. You alone would be accountable for your choices and decisions. 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by mcdokwe(m): 9:11pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
I prefer a single mother to any other woman who is or has been sexually active. The rate of abortion these days are at an alarming rate such that you'd question our humaneness if you get to know. #SAYNOTOABORTION, #dontdiscriminate rittyben: rittyben: 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by coogar: 9:15pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
MizMyColi: you need deliverance..... |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by Nobody: 9:35pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
rittyben: not everyone plan to b single mum.circumstances beyond control made it so. i am a survivor of domestic nd verbal abuse nd not until it became life threatening dat i had to walk away wit my kid. i am better nd wiser now and growing strong for my child. i blive some day i wuld av another chance to love again nd do tinz rite. #saynotodomesticviolence# 17 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by thorpido(m): 9:37pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
rittyben:No,unprotected sex when not ready for a baby. If you've got the baby,make the best of your situation and don't worry about the society. Don't whine about the society too. 7 Likes |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by bennyrazz: 9:42pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
You are a single mother when you have one kid outside wedlock then you become a single parent when you have more than one kid outside marriage (a professional single mother)I think widowers are suitable for single mothers not single men 1 Like |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by TV01(m): 9:43pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
...as ever solipsistic women without the ability for self-introspection make it all about themselves. We are more concerned about the kids wilfully deprived of a fathers presence. And yes, society rightfully frowns upon single-motherhood, as it comes with a cost - typically bourne by society. Or how many of you celebrating it are at ease with your taxes being squandered? Hypocrites ![]() TV 1 Like |
Re: Challenges Of A Single Mother by Dyt(f): 10:06pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
Feck society Fuvk what anyone thinks Child na disease? 8 Likes 1 Share |
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