At Op, if you have settled your inlaws in cash and in kind, you are free to live with your wife but if you believe that church blessing is important then take your wife to the church for both of you to be blessed, afterwards if you have refreshment you can give to those you invited if you don't have take your wife home cos nothing do ya.

I see class and I must do it like mr A and B that's is the problem some gullible Nigerians are facing here.

Just a reminder hope you guys has done genotype check to see that your blood group is ok for you to marry, cos this has cost a lot of wahala in marriages.

SmartFaces:


For eye brows not to raised, we rather let the church name be. Abi how you see am?
But i must confess, you are funny. Wetin make you feel that way? you funny shaa!!!

Sis, we rather make things hard for ourselves atimes.
Would ur family be happy if u didn't do ur traditional wedding? Absolutely No. This is because u are one of them. The same applies to ur church, they r ur spiritual family and the pastor/Rev. Is ur spiritual father. Hope u get this one?
Now they also need to keep this rule for other couples after u to observe,as I know u wudnt want to be seen to set an example in that way. Most times the rule is just kept to guide against future deviation.
Now the main issue for me, the husband and wife can decide to just bless the marriage,which is the main reason for church wedding,and forget the reception. In my local assembly,I ve seen my pastor bless a couple on a sunday service and declaring them husband and wife without any funfare, and that was it for them. This is the best option for couples who cannot afford the opulence of an elaborate wedding,but both are the same before God. Except if the couples here cannot be sincere about their budget, which is a bad marriage trait.
Marriage is a serious issue,and u need to satisfy both men and God beforehand, cos u will surely need them throughout the marriage.

U have been a member of that church and i believe u know their rules so do d needful. Organise a small wedding.

Since he don wanna leave his church, I suggest he should do the wedding and forget about reception.I have seen lot of people do it. (No bridal, no aso ebi, just the couple, best man and bridesmaid, couples immediate parents chikena!) Reception is the only thing that cost money in white wedding.

even d traditional marriage itself cn only b done with both family and there Kin's men nt necessary calling d whole world as for church wedding alot of pple re getting it all wrong if u actually want to do church wedding den its ur pocket . ur wedding must nt be done d general way, u cn take ur wife to d pastors house show him ur wife and ask him to bless d both of u in church on Sunday and dats all

The fact is this, the white wedding is religiously unconstitutional, neither is it a gate pass to heaven, i even see it as more worldly inclined that spiritual, so whats all the fuss about it. This is one of the reasons why i've decided to stay-put in my house and leave church for now, the kind of things that happens in the church nowadays, it just beats me.

A man performs the traditional rites on his woman, pays the bride price and dowry, yet you dont recognize it, that my friends, is really messed up. If it were me, i'd say 'damn that church and its confused pastor.

Isokay......just passing and I saw the post. Church wahala.!


Me not married yet. So, I gat narring to contribute. Will just learn and move on!


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pple are the enemies of themSeIves. must u do a big church Wedding? ALL d church asked for is achurch wedding. U can go do something for only immediate family and d church will gladly do the wedding. U can also do a small court wedding & the church will gladly bless d union after. The poster is just blaming d church for your own desire for what u cannot afford . plain trfd aggression

Hmmmm.... If the doctrine of the church stipulates that WHITE WEDDING be done before U can live together, and all these while U are member- THEN OBEDIENCE IS BETTER THAN SACRIFICE. Obey their rules!
Infact why the rush anyways? To start having sex? babies? etc... All these will still be once all procedures is duly followed.

When U know U cant stand those rules, then Y worship there in the first place? By God's grace I followed all processes during my wedding without violating any challenging rules and we are happily married with a ministry to teach YOUTHS on "Successful Wedding Rites".
It pays in the long run

Boss, dont let all these advise mislead you. And i think you need to join a more matured church. There is no law that says you must do a white wedding. Instead of inisisting on a white wedding, your church could have just done church blessing for you. Your wife doesnt even have to wear d ceremonial gown. You just go to church with your immediate family, pastor blesses you, you exchange your vows and thats all.....

The white wedding for intending couples signifies their joining before God and that they recognize and honour God and respect His say over them.
Court wedding shows that you respect the legal system and law of the country you dwell in.
Traditional wedding shows you honour the roots from where you came from, as in your tribe. Which most parents push for.
Court and most or almost all traditional weddings are never completely based on Christian principles. For example, I have not seen a tradition that says you must only marry one wife. Which is against Christian precepts.

So the lack of patience to honour God by a white wedding shows you don't send Him and his say. Which is not compulsory sha. Serving God is not by force. But later on in life don't go and be saying God why are not doing this or that. If you want to be an atheist, BE ONE and stop trying to bend Christian rules to fit your desires.

And must you do elaborate white wedding? It is not the Church stopping him but the desire to do and elaborate white wedding. If you go to the pastor with two or three witnesses, preferably the parents and the pastor joins them in any place before God, that is white wedding.

And for those saying white wedding is from oyibo, which other wedding type is based on Christian principle? I am not saying you should be telling me your Church rules. I am saying which wedding type has a Christian backbone? If you time dowry in the presence of your traditional deity shei it's God ba? Mtchewww. Nonsense. If you like be doing what you want to do.

Blackett:
Go to a court and register your marriage.

Fvck the church, fvck the pastor.

and fvck your wife...she's urs already.

SmartFaces:
She she had been in this relationship for one year, he proposed, everything followed to their traditional marriage last months. But his church says they can't live together until the white wedding is done. He is not buoyant or ready for a white wedding now but has carried out all rights both legal and traditional as they both agreed. what should they do?
The question now is, at what point is marriage recognized and honoured?
Is it at the point of...
(A) agreement between both spouse?
(B) Introduction (both families meeting and knowing each other)?
(C) Traditional Marriage?
(D) Court Marriage? Or the mighty
(E) White Wedding?




For me i think these churches complicates issues.
please i need sincere judgments and opinion, no insults or name calling.
We are all here to learn.

Once you have paid dowry and done traditional rites, you are legally married. The law recognizes that marriage even if you don't go to registry. Either The church pastor doesnt know his bible well or he is just playing pranks.

My guy, let your wife move in with you and conceive, if pastor no like make he go hang. You are married, church wedding is just white man's tradition. God blesses your union once dowry has been paid.

[quote
author=SmartFaces post=31711560]Thanks people, your comments are
encouraging. The court marriage has been done. The big deal for him is
that he holds a position in his church. They are threatening to suspend
him if he goes against their rules.
One alternative is to leave the church and their rules then join another
church but he said his hearts and conscience won't let him.[/quote]

simple,fix your church wedding on a monday morning,8am to be precise. That solves the expensive problem you would have to deal with

That one thing about dis churches, they will give u conditions and they won't lift a finger to help you. Oya tell dem to give u money for the church wedding nah.

He is saying cos of his post in church he can't leave, his conscience wud not let him. (u ar scared of ur pastor but if only its same way u fear and honour God)

Must u end ur life in that church? Oga please dnt use dis indecision and keep ma pwety sister waiting to be in her husband house oh.

SmartFaces:
Thanks people, your comments are encouraging. The court marriage has been done. The big deal for him is that he holds a position in his church. They are threatening to suspend him if he goes against their rules.
One alternative is to leave the church and their rules then join another church but he said his hearts and conscience won't let him.

SmartFaces:
She she had been in this relationship for one year, he proposed, everything followed to their traditional marriage last months. But his church says they can't live together until the white wedding is done. He is not buoyant or ready for a white wedding now but has carried out all rights both legal and traditional as they both agreed. what should they do?
The question now is, at what point is marriage recognized and honoured?
Is it at the point of...
(A) agreement between both spouse?
(B) Introduction (both families meeting and knowing each other)?
(C) Traditional Marriage?
(D) Court Marriage? Or the mighty
(E) White Wedding?




For me i think these churches complicates issues.
please i need sincere judgments and opinion, no insults or name calling.
We are all here to learn.

. I love dis question, infact av been pondering dis issue for years now. But I tink dat; before GOD, marriage is recognised after white wedding. & note dat dis white wedding mustnt be flambouyant/ expensive. U can even schedule an early morning wedding if u aint dat high on cash. Once there is a priest/pstor/man of God to join u two together, give u blessings, wit a few witnesses around, I tink u r good to go

oieda:
The white wedding for intending couples signifies their joining before God and that they recognize and honour God and respect His say over them.
Court wedding shows that you respect the legal system and law of the country you dwell in.
Traditional wedding shows you honour the roots from where you came from, as in your tribe. Which most parents push for.
Court and most or almost all traditional weddings are never completely based on Christian principles. For example, I have not seen a tradition that says you must only marry one wife. Which is against Christian precepts.

So the lack of patience to honour God by a white wedding shows you don't send Him and his say. Which is not compulsory sha. Serving God is not by force. But later on in life don't go and be saying God why are not doing this or that. If you want to be an atheist, BE ONE and stop trying to bend Christian rules to fit your desires.

And must you do elaborate white wedding? It is not the Church stopping him but the desire to do and elaborate white wedding. If you go to the pastor with two or three witnesses, preferably the parents and the pastor joins them in any place before God, that is white wedding.

And for those saying white wedding is from oyibo, which other wedding type is based on Christian principle? I am not saying you should be telling me your Church rules. I am saying which wedding type has a Christian backbone? If you time dowry in the presence of your traditional deity shei it's God ba? Mtchewww. Nonsense. If you like be doing what you want to do.

White wedding is not based on xtian principles. Point to anywhere in the bible where it is demonstrated. Let us stop the brainwash. Dowry is the singular most important act in your marriage rites before GOD and by extension ...man. Every culture performs marriage rites according to their customs and nowhere in the bible did God or Paul or peter or any apostle or prophet give directions for a 'christian ' marriage ceremony.
If the guy is not bouyant enough for a white ceremony, is it not the duty of the church to guide him appropriately by advising him to manage the resources he earns for their life as a couple? Churches and ladies be setting high jump for grooms since time immemorial. Mtscheeew!

PreshyG:
D tin is, he mustn't do an elaborate wedding, like me; i will even prefer a private church wedding. Just d priest,d two parents, sponsor and few witnesse. Cos i would not want to stay away from communion because of white wedding. Afta going through intro. And trad.marriage.

. Thank u. My view exactly

efonat:
Every marriage need Gods presence.

yea i know

Even in the bible, its always a father giving out their daughters (same with our traditions) please tell me a place in the bible that says 'inquire of God before u take a wife' as a law or commandment.

Let's stop making simple matter complex. Fine , I agree that they can do church blessing wch does not cost much.

He has done wat is required traditional and by law so its up to him.

Any thing that has original must have fake, my ppl mind the type of church you go to hear the word of God cos many fake church's are there today ready to suck every idiot that refused to read his or bible for understanding.

Many thief's today has gone into church industries just for their stomach, there by deceiving ppl, pls Nigerians read your bible to understanding stop worshiping pastors and bishops and reverends, stop using the word my pastor said and start saying the bible said.

Above all try as much as you can to have a personal relationship with God by being born again and going to a bible believing church where the word of God is preached unadulterated. God bless us.

Sunshinelady:
. I love dis question, infact av been pondering dis issue for years now. But I tink dat; before GOD, marriage is recognised after white wedding. & note dat dis white wedding mustnt be flambouyant/ expensive. U can even schedule an early morning wedding if u aint dat high on cash. Once there is a priest/pstor/man of God to join u two together, give u blessings, wit a few witnesses around, I tink u r good to go

Madam, God recognizes your marriage once dowry has been paid and cultural rites fulfilled. Otherwise, all of us in Nigeria would be bastards since our fore fathers did not have any white wedding. This is purely the white man's tradition we are copying with all its practices...kissing the bride, throwing of flowers, wedding ring, e.t.c.

Fo igboland after traditional wedding, the lady goes wit her husband to hiz house fullstop

White wedding is nothing more than English traditional wedding. People need to be informed about this marriage issue. One wedding is valid for all purposes. Traditional marriage is valid under our laws. Church wedding is an extension of Court wedding/ marriage under the statute/Marriage Act. The only difference between church wedding and the one you hold at the marriage registry is the place you choose to celebrate it. A proper church marriage starts from the registry and ends there too. So if you have done a court marriage then you have done a valid marriage. Insisting on church marriage is mere repetition of what you did before.

SmartFaces:
Thanks people, your comments are encouraging. The court marriage has been done. The big deal for him is that he holds a position in his church. They are threatening to suspend him if he goes against their rules.
One alternative is to leave the church and their rules then join another church but he said his hearts and conscience won't let him.

he's a member of d church, he knows d church's stand on such matters and had probably enjoyed other peoples wedding goodies, now is he's turn he has suddenly become wiser. Such a man should not b trusted, he's even a worker in d church for dat matter. Pls tel him 2 follow d procedures of he's church cos that's d system he has help 2 create as a worker. What goes around.....

ronald4lif:


He should make a decision, quit the church and join another if they suspend him or do the wedding in his church. He should make up his mind already. Move to another provided is not a white garment.

and wat if its a white garment

byesense:
Boss, dont let all these advise mislead you. And i think you need to join a more matured church. There is no law that says you must do a white wedding. Instead of inisisting on a white wedding, your church could have just done church blessing for you. Your wife doesnt even have to wear d ceremonial gown. You just go to church with your immediate family, pastor blesses you, you exchange your vows and thats all.....

Simple!!

how much does it take to do a church wedding? just get a pastor to join u guys in the presence of witnesses and stop complicating your life. some people self. is it not traditional wedding that is expensive? ah!

All of the above.

Since d hubby is recognize by the brides parent,let their parents and few witness gather at d church to honour d church doctrine.

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sinaj:
I wnt deny my hubby of *** afta d trad. wedding

xo daz d church palava
d choch doesnt matter afta d trad. so far evrione recognises me as a marid person.

U mean d *** uve being given out from day one!!!