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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice (21287 Views)
Please I Need Mature Advise / Mature Advice Please !!! / I Have A Word For Many Young And Mature Girls This Morning With This Pic. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by kaboninc(m): 7:02pm On May 19, 2015 |
fem29: Sadly you choose to come at me for mentioning and making reference to the bible when someone actually was the first. I do not want to go into religion and Christianity and bible verses. This is because this is not just about it. If we do, we'd be doing a great disservice to the lady in need here. So, I'll let it slide. |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by olu4life(m): 7:03pm On May 19, 2015 |
kaboninc:Oga u get time o aswear. The msg has been passed its left for the OP to take it or leave it. All d best to her. I stil stand by this mrssho:EOD!!! 1 Like |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by Nobody: 7:10pm On May 19, 2015 |
[b][/b] kaboninc: Please let go of the notion that man is above woman. This is the mindset that let white people believe it is ok to enclave people of Color. They believed they are lesser beings |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by smsshola(m): 7:20pm On May 19, 2015 |
I doubt d originality of this story...Well while I will not support d man and her sis act..cos ds act is a punishable offence but d op shu learn hw to forgive and forget. My first advice wl b to the op herself,hw ar wl sure u ar playing ur role as d wife?While ds may not b enof rson fo ur hubby to sleep wt ur sis but I felt there is also the need fo u to examine ursef and c whr u av short coming nd correct it. secondly I wl advice u to go home behave as if u av not seen anything,act well to ur hubby and start d trap journey its not going to b easy but I think u need more evidence I mean d physical one not jus d fone and whatsapp stuff. Set a trap fo them and c if they wl fall fo it...u may decide to announce a trip from ur office fo two days to a near by state; as u ar telling dem ds watch d rxn on their faces. Or u can decide to come home any of d afternoon if ur hubby is d type dt eat at home. if u making a journey make sure u av d spare keys to all d doors in ur home. My dear we all av our individual cross to bear ds is urs carry it wt all ur might even wen u kno d crucifixion is closer dn u think but d truth is after d death u wl rise soon wt tears of gain so stay and watch ur home rebuilt tru ur own sweat. 1 Like |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by kaboninc(m): 7:22pm On May 19, 2015 |
cococandy: You've always been one sided with your views and you try so hard to remain one-sided. That's too bad! Firstly you should spend your time reading my comment before responding. Secondly, maybe you read the bible but you don't read it properly. I do not want to be dragged into bible verses and things like that. I want to respect the lady in need here. I never said "the bible cursed the woman but God did!" The verse is an assignment for you. You also turned a blind eye to where I said Kings and Lords make huge mistakes and they not only pay with their lives but that of their generations. Does "sin" in this context not translate to "huge mistakes"? I am sure you're married. Maybe you tell your husband that you're equal with him. Yes you are. But still tell others (and even yourself) that he's your leader and the head of your family? Ohh, you can give us your own definition of a leader/head. Such a terrible hypocrite you are! 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by kaboninc(m): 7:26pm On May 19, 2015 |
fem29: It is not a mindset. It is a fact. And refusing to acknowledge it is your own business. The whites enslaved both men and women. Powerful kingdoms did same. So because it is 'a man's world', why were the men not liberated? Maybe you should check your own facts and history. |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by Nobody: 7:31pm On May 19, 2015 |
Westendel: I wish you the best 1 Like |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by cococandy(f): 7:31pm On May 19, 2015 |
You can't even answer a simple question. Yes he's the head of the family. Just as OP's husband is the head of their family. Is there a reason why that is under discussion in this scenario? Head-of-family's responsibility is not to chook his dyck into any available hole. So why should that come up in a case like this? Now back to the question. If you will answer. What does 'it's a man's world' mean in this context where the man is sleeping with another woman, worse, his sister-in-law. Someone is sleeping with his wife's younger sis and all you can say is that It's a man's world And God cursed women to be under men. Is that what being a leader means to you? Is it not even worse that the leader who should be leading by example is the one setting bad example for the wife to follow? Leadership is not a license to behave badly. It is a responsibility to set good examples. Anyway what has it being a man's world got to do with op's case? Does that make it ok? Yes or no? Simple answer. Not all this insincere beating about the bush. Answer the damn question and stop dragging my husband into matters that don't concern him. kaboninc: 7 Likes |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by OmoAlata1(f): 7:33pm On May 19, 2015 |
smsshola: Ori mi o!!! what did I just read? typical guy always shifting the blame on the woman(who is the victim). if the case was reverse, would you advice your fellow man to "forgive and forget"? would you question if he was playing his role as the husband for his wife to go and sleep with his younger brother to see if she could get pregnant? Women in Nigeria have sufferred. I ache for all the women in Nigeria if this is truly how men in Nigeria reason 11 Likes |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by Nobody: 7:33pm On May 19, 2015 |
OmoAlata1: He is a man what do you expect him to say The more pathetic responses are the women saying the same Sometimes I actually think people speak from their personal experiences 5 Likes |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by Nobody: 7:36pm On May 19, 2015 |
OmoAlata1: I do know without a doubt that if I had been born during that okonkwo things fall apart era,I probably wouldn't be married The typical nigerian idea of what a woman ought to be and do and tolerate and manage in the name of marriage is no where in my DNA I am not an incomplete person looking for a man to complete me,I am a full and complete individual with a complete thinking faculty with or without a man. That's how I see myself and how I have always seen myself. 13 Likes |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by kaboninc(m): 7:37pm On May 19, 2015 |
OmoAlata1: For both paragraphs with respect to the bold part... Kaboninc, you are making this thread irritating. I bet if OP is a man stating his wife was sleeping with his younger brother cos she wanted to see if she could get pregnant. You will be telling the husband to run as far from that devilish woman I said this....
Hope you can read properly read and understand. |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by smsshola(m): 7:41pm On May 19, 2015 |
OmoAlata1: My dear pls am not here to trade blame and am not blaming the lady in questions,if did not forgive and forget ar u advising her to leave her home?In my own opinion dts what I think it wl b better fo her...and dt is why I said let her set a trap fo them so she can av a physical evidence dt wl put both of them in misery fo d rest of their life. If u think leaving her home cos of ds is better toh dt is ur opinion but mind if she do d sis and d hubby wl continu their illicit act nd even end up in marriage:but why wl she loss her matrimonial home to anoda dauta of eve?To me its better she face it and den make any necessary amendment. |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by OmoAlata1(f): 7:42pm On May 19, 2015 |
kaboninc: so are you stating if a woman divorces her husband she can't get another husband? young or old? cos she should just stay cos she has been used up and expired. But it is ok for a man to leave cos he has so much option out there no matter his age? ok o Oga, I have heard you 2 Likes |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by OmoAlata1(f): 7:43pm On May 19, 2015 |
smsshola: Would you have same opinion if the OP was a guy? 1 Like |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by samtol4(m): 7:43pm On May 19, 2015 |
OmoAlata1:"divorce him kia kia "Do you have another husband for her?Be careful with this fire brigade advice .It is always easy to advise people to divorce. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by mrsmith11(m): 7:46pm On May 19, 2015 |
@babyosisi.....there r 2 set of advisers in this kind of situation; People like you who will push for divorce and others like me who like reconciliation,forgiveness and mercy to every judgement. What has happen is very difficult to take in respective of d gender because no particular gender (male or female) is immune to emotional betrayer My best advice for the Op is for to take her time to calm down ,give thought to every advice whether positive or negative,pray about it and make a decision. But remember to Err is human and to forgive is divine I wish u more grace and peace of heart in this difficult time 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by samtol4(m): 7:47pm On May 19, 2015 |
OmoAlata1:Your advice is barbaric and not helpful ,will divorce solve this problem?if she remarry and the new hubby misbehave she will divorce again? |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by kaboninc(m): 7:48pm On May 19, 2015 |
cococandy: If this: It's a man's world And God cursed women to be under men. is all you can get from all my post, then it is a total waste of my time in engaging with you. Like I said earlier, I'll respect the lady in need here than to answer to your rambling, emotional and skewed infested comments. Ohh, do me this favour and show to your husband our conversation. Thanks. 2 Likes |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by OmoAlata1(f): 7:49pm On May 19, 2015 |
samtol4: I don't need to have a husband for her. A woman's happiness, identity, peace and joy is not solely about her having a husband. Especially one who has no respect for her by sleeping with very young sister to see if he can get her pregnant. He has done a lot of damages that I don't even know how you can repair it. She deserves way way way more than so called husband. it is not must to be Mrs. 11 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by smsshola(m): 7:51pm On May 19, 2015 |
OmoAlata1: If its a guy my opinion wl still be the same forgive and forget show her more love...but before d confrontation I wl advice d guy to av a concrete evidence then face d tune of d music. |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by kaboninc(m): 7:51pm On May 19, 2015 |
babyosisi: Really? Did anyone tell you that you blew away this problem with your explosive comments? In case they didn't, well, I just told you. 1 Like |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by Nobody: 7:51pm On May 19, 2015 |
mrsmith11: Obviously there are There are people like me who believe that a man who screws his wife's younger sister on a regular basis ,a man that is ready to infect her with all manner of diseases and lies about it is not worth a dime and there are people like you who will even seek reconciliation with a man that gives you HIV and throat cancer because marriage means the world to you even if with a bingo That's what makes us individuals Her man and sister have denied it and are reAdy to swear to amadioha that it never happened Take it from there She Needs your advice on how to proceed now more than ever. 14 Likes |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by OmoAlata1(f): 7:53pm On May 19, 2015 |
samtol4: No there is nothing barbaric about my advice. you just mad cos it deflated your ego. If she remarries that is her own choice, but she deserves more than that so called husband. Marriage is not the beginning of her identity as a woman. 11 Likes |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by freecocoa(f): 7:54pm On May 19, 2015 |
babyosisi:I was having a conversation with two men yesterday, one married, the married one was cheating and saw nothing wrong in it, saying that how do I expect him not to, when there are so many beautiful women around and that he is an African man, the discourse got to a point where he said he decides what his wife's dream is, that she even submits her salary to him, he said so many things, so much that my head was literally spinning, then I couldn't take it no more when he made the mistake of telling me that, if I must be married and stay married, I had to accept that the man has the right to do whatever, so long as he provided for me and the children, that I must have to accept his wishes as he is my lord blah blah blah, I didn't even know when I told him he isn't fit to be in this century. The most annoying thing is even that, this man is supposedly learned and a director in one of them oil companies, I just weak, ofcourse the other guy was nodding to whatever Mr married man said, he added that it's even preached in marriage counselling, that the man has the final say and that the woman must submit. I just know in my heart that, I can never be with such a man, I'd rather remain unmarried. 3 Likes |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by kaboninc(m): 7:55pm On May 19, 2015 |
OmoAlata1: Sugar mummies? Yes they can. But can you? Can a woman who's say 70 years be so certain she'll get married to a man easily? How about a man who's 75 finding a woman (any woman) to marry? 2 Likes |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by cococandy(f): 7:56pm On May 19, 2015 |
You see you can't honestly be straight forward with that your nonsense line. Because you know it looks so silly now having been scrutinized. If you really wanted to respect the lady, you won't even bring that line into this thread. Wait,Show him my conversation with who? You? Why? So he will agree that you're right?. That It is a man's world and you're above women so it is ok for you to sleep around? You must think he has time for nonsense. Pls face front on the subject matter. Show him conversation ko . He's on NL. Whenever he logs on, he will see it for himself as always. kaboninc: |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by mrsmith11(m): 7:57pm On May 19, 2015 |
babyosisi: If you read my previous post, you will see were I said if the man is remorseful and show sign of repentance then she should forgive. I think everyone deserve a second chance 4 Likes |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by OmoAlata1(f): 8:02pm On May 19, 2015 |
kaboninc: yes she can quite frankly. finding a husband is not hard. finding the right husband is what is hard. Most divorced women or widowed choose to remain single not cos they can't find a husband but cos they don't want to deal with the drama(cos most men ARE drama queens). Men are not as scarce for any women of any age as you like to promote. it is that type of fear and scare tactic that have so many suffering women in Nigeria 5 Likes |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by Nobody: 8:06pm On May 19, 2015 |
freecocoa: I have had people here say I must have married a wimp My husband is an administrator that overseas a staff of about 50 that answer directly to him and only about two are black,so he is no push over . I am talking very intelligent people with PhDs and all. Certainly not a man That can be pushed around He is firm and resolute when he needs to be,his job demands that But he is not a tyrant What I read from these men and women is a relationship almost like a slave and master relationship If there is a conflict of opinion ,his opinion overrules it and I trust his judgment because he is not a foolish man He is a very wise,very intelligent man and he doesn't have me on a leash Has given me no cause to distrust him and I know without a doubt he will not disrespect me or his children or his God He lets me be me and I like it I couldn't function with a controlling man I don't understand all this talks about my husband won't allow me do this and do that or go here Adults that someone has to be told what to do and when to do it A man is screwing around risking the life of a wife he supposedly loves by foolish choices and the first thing out of people's mouth is forgiveness and marriage at all costs Is it until he shoots her down with a rifle that she will understand the man doesn't love her I don't get it Sorry,I don't 8 Likes |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by cococandy(f): 8:07pm On May 19, 2015 |
There was one who used to ask me out when I was still single. when I asked him about his wife, he said she has no right to question him. In a very condescending tone. I felt so sorry for her. He said As long as he remains her husband, she's supposed to bear it all. According to him, God made it so. For the woman to be subservient unto the man no matter what. This is an educated man o. MD in a government hospital with his own big private hospital too. I was too disgusted to be angry. For the woman mind, she get value as a human being but the man didn't think her worth respecting so much he could say such nonsense to a lady he just met against his wife who had been with him thru med school and all the rigors of building their lives and raising the family. No wonder we have so many damaged guys everywhere. Nobody taught them responsibility and accepting a mistake when you make it. Nobody taught them to be sorry for misbehavior. Their orientation growing up is that women don't deserve to be treated as respectable human beings. Smh. That's what leadership means to them. I'm the head so I deserve to misbehave. What am I saying? Is that not what being a leader means to the average Nigerian politician?. The roots come from dysfunctional family systems where being the head means you're free to misbehave. freecocoa: 6 Likes |
Re: Please Nairalanders I Need Mature Advice by Nobody: 8:07pm On May 19, 2015 |
OmoAlata1:Do you have a problem with Nigerian men or you actually have not noticed the problem with your being single? Stop all this Nigerian men bashing its getting annoying, childish and insecure 4 Likes 1 Share |
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