I don't knw why Im having dis feeling dat nairalander is just d wrongest place to ask for advice, instead of helping they compound ur problem by saying all sort of things. Well as for me apply for house maids, before I am murdered, d reason y I said tht is because, u gt to ve a shelter( in case u want to run away), u ve food to eat, u re being paid, nd all dat. Then develop d culture of saving, it saves in such time like dis. Then move close to God, I mean develop a close relationship with him, it's nt too late to turn back to him

Ishilove:
This nairalander mailed us this rather pathetic story. She requested her identity be hidden because not only is she well known, the man in question is also a nairalander.

Please read and give her your very candid advice.



No insults, please. She is in a quagmire and needs sound and solid advice.

Girl, park and leave the idiot man............I'm a responsible married man and no matter what my wife 'll do to me, I won't hit her. Imagine at your age you've commited a lot of abortions............move on with your life cos you're not a match with him. God is your strenght. Your so-called boy friend is an idiot without no home training. Mtcheeeeeeeeeeew!!!

Ignatio:


He's just accommodating her. Her parents pays her fees. Please don't make excuses for girls who deceive men to sponsor their education. She can go hustle decently. Many are surviving under worse conditions. Being able to mail you shows she's intelligent.

you are right bruh...a female lecturer of mine normally say a serious girl will use her handiwork to feed herself without all DX advantage taking guys. Can't she wash cloth for people and collect money? How bawt washing toilet? Is she not good at making hair? Why can't she learn how to bake and bake cakes and sausage rolls and d like and sell in class? My dear receive insult and embarrassment of ur life now and let it be one of ur funny tales u tell your children when u become a madam in future...you fearing for insult and embarrassment now will only get u stucked up with that beast. My lecturer said she washed cloths for her mates when she was in d university her mother was a mere teacher fending for 5 children ...now she is driven in a big car by her personal driver and travels to the state yearly

[qTiredness does not have home, it is vagabond. It has visited you soon it will leave you alone so, you can continue from where you stopped. Take it as it comes since nobody advised you to do it in first place i don't think you need someone's advice now. Take it as your fate you need no advice now since you didn't need it then. Good luck.

I think you she is not just fighting a problem she is fighting a habit.
This habit has become a part of you,they are sexual desire and dependence on this guy.
You have to first leave this guy then give your life to God to help you resist the temptation of sexual intimacy.

I usually recommend that you go to a quite place most likely a church for some days,may be three and ask, to pray and seek answers from God concerning your life.You need to brake away from that habit as that is the only way to say no to him. He will come again reminding you of the favors he has done for you and the good old days.
You also have to move away from his place because he is not married to you.
Try your hand on something creative maybe platting of hairs to earn money so that you can become independent.
Get busy when you visit your parents,may be in their business so that you can acquire new skills.
When I was growing up I knew my parents could not afford my school fees and all I wanted,then I started joining them to farm and little things they do,I learnt some basic skill to survive,applied and studied for scholarships.
Fast forward to today,I am still have a husller habit but I am no longer poor.
There is a way if you are willing to pay the price.

I have learnt that Taskmasters and Slaves are bound by cooperation.
Break that habit.
Stop cooperating with him,he has nothing to offer you.
It time to spread you wings and fly,

you are an Eagle not a pigeon

You can survive without that beast of a guy. Also you know you are in the university, why bleep skin to skin? Come on girl, you have to get used to condom, I am afraid reading about the countless D & C you have done. Won't this affect you in the future? Run fast and far from that man.

Abortion shouldn't be used as a form of birth.control.

I would suggest that the girl partake in a permanent birth control method so he doesn't ruin the girl's womb. If he refuses to pay for the method then use natural birth control method by preventing sex during ovulation.

Ovulation occur approximately 10 to 14 days from the last day of your menstrual cycle. Refrain from sexual intercourse for 5 days to ensure the ovum isn't present in the fallopian tube. If he insists on sex then you can partake in other styles to bring him to orgasms. I don't think he last any longer than seconds based on your narrative statement.

If all else fails, you can return home and try to find a job to support yourself. You can ask for help from those who are willing to help you in any way. You can also seek employment as housemaid or nanny to families that have a housemaid quarter. If you have a skill that can generate profits utilize the skill. Be creative and save any money given if possible.

If it comes between survival and education, you may have to quick school for a moment to obtain stability for yourself. Yes, education is imperative but survival is essential. What's good the education if you are dead? Do not kill yourself and focus on what's important which is your health and sanity.

You have to make a plan and execute the plan with finesse. You have to take risks if you want to be successful and if you continue to have an abortion, you will have severe issues.

I wish you luck and success.

First this is a one sided story. But if I were to take this half as a whole I'd say you should first talk to him, through his friends or pastor. Uve painted him as a devil with 2 horns, but a man that foots ur bills does love u... Probably in a wiered way. If this doesn't work, then make preparations to squat with a friend, and try looking for businesses that can help u get back on your feet. Trust me, there are people in worse conditions than u are. A man would act like a god when u make ur self helpless.... Therefore, Lady, please help urself.

Jeez.......Reading this epistle is really heart aching. In fact am staring at my laptop in the office and almost tearing.

And to make matters worse, the guys that made comments on the first page didn't help matters at all. Are most Nigerians now sadist? or maybe

many people have this latent hatred for just no reason. No single advice whatsoever, even after reading this very sad tale.

@OP, all i can say is that you need serious help which can only come from GOD. I think you should discuss this issue with a confidant,maybe your

pastor or an elderly woman . You really need to leave that guy, cos you are not married to him plus there is no good future with him if you stick

around.No doubts, he has tried for you so far but you are NOT A SLAVE, you have a bright future . Trust GOD, He will show up for you. YOUR

STORY WILL CHANGE as you crave

MsBliss:
First things first .

Your grammar is bad. I can't believe you are in year two . That aside.


You should never forget that your future is in your hands. never
If after looking at you present situation,you decide that this kind of life is what you desire in your future then you can sit down all day crying to us about how terrible your life is else ,you take a bold step by going out to look for a job. working won't kill you .

Who says you can't go to school and work at the same time ? what happened to being independent and buying stuffs you want with your own money?
what happened to kicking toxic people out of your life?
You are even lucky that your parents pays your school fees. Av seen people who work to pay all their fees themselves and whoever told you that if you leave your self imposed husband,you will die is a big lier.

u re a bastards,give her advice or get the Bleep out.its not compulsory u must comment.its guys like u that beats up their mum

rightthing276:
Your mates are doing business in school to keep up.
Your mates sell recharge cards, cloths, shoes, make hair etc to keep up and here u are blabbing and seeking for some cheap emotional attention. Are we suppose to cry for you?, you can abort ur life for all we care.
May you think you are the last survivor of the "I am from a poor family" specie.

Lastly, ur mates are living in school hostel
but u want to feel among off campus babes so die there. E-diot

Pls take it easy, she needs advice nt insult

MsBliss:
First things first .

Your grammar is bad. I can't believe you are in year two . That aside.


You should never forget that your future is in your hands. never
If after looking at you present situation,you decide that this kind of life is what you desire in your future then you can sit down all day crying to us about how terrible your life is else ,you take a bold step by going out to look for a job. working won't kill you .

Who says you can't go to school and work at the same time ? what happened to being independent and buying stuffs you want with your own money?
what happened to kicking toxic people out of your life?
You are even lucky that your parents pays your school fees. Av seen people who work to pay all their fees themselves and whoever told you that if you leave your self imposed husband,you will die is a big lier.

See your life, dem say make you advise, na bad grammar you dey find. Shey you sef go school with all the errors you made up there? Me I no sabi English o, but I must tell you that you also made a couple of errors up there. Your punctuation and capitalization is wack! Words are supposed to start with a capital letter after every period. By the way it is LIAR not LIER.
Last Bullet: Comot the plank wey dey ya eyes before you go try comot straw for another person eye. English is not our mother's tongue
Gracias

Am very speechless to say the least, hopefully this response will change your circumstances for good. I suspect your boyfriend is doing all these for two reasons, one, his own insecurity/apprehension that you will leave him once you finish school and so, is doing everything possible (physical/psychological) to subjugate you in pepertuity to himself. Secondly, he is your "god" as he said. What he means by that is, knowing your family background and the poverty in the family, he believes you are helpless and will never live, at least for now. In essence, he thinks you are his property and he is at liberty to treat/mistreat you at his whims eventhough most people treasure their property. Having said this, I also will suggest you try leaving his house (trust me he will come begging just to bring you back and continue the abuse). Empirical studies have shown that people who are abused, particularly women, tend to go through a vicious circle of abuses because they feel helpless and sometimes, blame themselves and think they are the problem because they have been conditioned by the abuser to feel that way. It takes lots of courage and sometimes external intervention and bravery for them to cut off the cancer and leave. Yours is a classic case; don't wait until you die, leave him asap, a stich in time saves nine as the maxim goes. Good luck.

you have killed innocent human beings(let me not call them babies so that you will have it at the back of your mind that you killed human beings) you sent them where they don't deserve to be,now tell me why you don't deserve the worst.

first thing first you have to ask God for forgiveness for murder you have committed. you put an end to the great destinies of those innocent babies and you think you deserve to be happy?.

show remorse for what you have done,fast,pray and cry to God for forgiveness our God is a mercifully God and only then shall you see the light.

Since the man get her cheaply, what do you expect..


I pray she finds freedom soonest.





But some men na Wah!

Ishilove:

I edited the story to make it more readable. Besides, the focus should not be on her writing skills but on her dilemma.

Trust some Nlers to miss the issue and focus on non-issues..

rightthing276:
Your mates are doing business in school to keep up.
Your mates sell recharge cards, cloths, shoes, make hair etc to keep up and here u are blabbing and seeking for some cheap emotional attention. Are we suppose to cry for you?, you can abort ur life for all we care.
May you think you are the last survivor of the "I am from a poor family" specie.

Lastly, ur mates are living in school hostel
but u want to feel among off campus babes so die there. E-diot

This is really unfair! must you insult people in the name of responding to a post, If you have nothing constructive to contribute then kindly ignore. Are school hostels free the last time I checked you pay a fee! am not supporting her neither am I saying abortion is right but sometimes we find ourselves in difficult situations, life throws punches at us; we have the free will to choose but choosing is so hard cos we feel we have no choice, thats when we need people, people to advise, to push, to constructively criticise, to lovingly scold and to admonish, not people who will insult, spew hatred and make the situation worse by what they say!

It is really not fair! do not judge! am not insulting you because the next thing you'll do is to hurl insults at me, am only constructively correcting

To the poster; difficulties arise in life, I have gone through several crazy episodes where it seemed I had no choice, but with prayers, support and the decisions i took I am where I am today. Your parents being poor is no excuse for all these! do you have friends precisely female friends whom you can squat with temporarily? You are not a sex object! you are a woman!

I was in a difficult and abusive marriage , I posted on nairaland asking for advises, at that time I thought life without my ex half was unthinkable cos I was financially, emotionally and physically dependent on him but I took a stand for myself , I chose to live and I chose my children's future. What would have happened to me if I stayed in that abusive relationship? probably death or mental illness.

Babe I stood up for myself! I walked out with my two children with just a bathroom slippers and the clothes on our back, it wasn't easy my dear but guess what? I got my life back! my self esteem, my self love, even my children have a better mother. Right now I have the best job ever. I discovered a strength I never thought I had.

Sweets RUN! you've spent about 3 years in that university, ( pre degree + 2 years) you have friends, I am not saying the road will be easy, it will be TOUGH but guess what? you will overcome. what is a little difficulty compared with the risk of future infertility, STDs, loss of self esteem, sex object etc. You have to make a choice, the power is in your hands and except you make a decision the situation will only get worse!

To the many grammarians; apologies for the typos, the errors etc in a hurry! hope I passed a message thats the most important. I love exclamation marks lol

cowgirl9090:
you have killed innocent human beings(let me not call them babies so that you will have it at the back of your mind that you killed human beings) you sent them where they don't deserve to be,now tell me why you don't deserve the worst.

first thing first you have to ask God for forgiveness for murder you have committed. you put an end to the great destinies of those innocent babies and you think you deserve to be happy?.

show remorse for what you have done,fast,pray and cry to God for forgiveness our God is a mercifully and only then shall you see the light.

what exactly have you contributed.. really what value have you brought to this issue?

Move away from his life now!!! Take action with immediate effect, dont feel the world will end without him, world can only end without God and not human being like him.


May God see u tru. Put prayers in ur front, sure God will help u out even to ur surprise.

Slimzjoe:
Some girls Funny sha.....you accepted to be his Sex machine and you're complaining

Some Girls are Carrying Blocks just to make ends meet but you sit all day in a man's House And open Your Legs regularly without you supporting the 'Family' In anyway.....This one needs Formatting Slap

you are so quick to judge, clearly you have all the answers.
Have you ever been desperate?

Hush!!! Wish u were contended with the little your mom was serving you in those years. Well, you can't undo the past but you can ensure your future. Stand before a mirrow and take a look @ yourself hoping you will see some hope and strength from within you. You will sure need to leave where you are now, but I pray you wont fall into wrong hands.

Ishilove:
This nairalander mailed us this rather pathetic story. She requested her identity be hidden because not only is she well known, the man in question is also a nairalander.

Please read and give her your very candid advice.



No insults, please. She is in a quagmire and needs sound and solid advice.

Tell her to send me an e-mail, I might be able to help.

As a woman or lady's advice i will advise her to pack out of that house; because I've also faced many challenges in life as small as i am, I'm the only one that have the grace to struggle for my education in my family, my dad is working at one saw mill as an engineer while mum is pepper seller. i was the one that paid for my SSCE even in my tertiary level it was the grace of God that saved me and i didn't misused myself. pls don't mind my grammar.

sonofananimal:


YOU SEE YOUR LIFE, SOMETIMES DEY THINK BEFORE YOU QUOTE PERSON, IS IT NOT THE SAME THING I AM TALKING ABOUT?

Oshi!

Ode!

Seun:
Sigh

ROTFLMAOOooooooo !!

tosen64:


Tell her to send me an e-mail, I might be able to help.

Please PM me your email. Don't drop it in the open.

fanex:
you know why i know this story is fake? your prefect writing skills. people from your kind of background tend to have a rough start to life and subsequently incomplete education. secondly, the sense behind the story does not match your intellectual skills as illustrated in this write-up.


Fake story

My thoughts exactly but she has since explained.

Are u a Christian? Or Muslim? Pls meet ur pastor or whoever in charge of ur fellowship in school.tell him or her ur story, am sure they will help. Pls move out and move on before he deform you. Am sure ur school fellowship can help. Pls try this immediately

rightthing276:
Your mates are doing business in school to keep up.
Your mates sell recharge cards, cloths, shoes, make hair etc to keep up and here u are blabbing and seeking for some cheap emotional attention. Are we suppose to cry for you?, you can abort ur life for all we care.
May you think you are the last survivor of the "I am from a poor family" specie.

Lastly, ur mates are living in school hostel
but u want to feel among off campus babes so die there. E-diot

if your dad gives you this kind of advice wouldn't u hav poisoned him..cos das wot i feel like doing to you right now

MsBliss:
First things first .

Your grammar is bad. I can't believe you are in year two . That aside.


You should never forget that your future is in your hands. never
If after looking at you present situation,you decide that this kind of life is what you desire in your future then you can sit down all day crying to us about how terrible your life is else ,you take a bold step by going out to look for a job. working won't kill you .

Who says you can't go to school and work at the same time ? what happened to being independent and buying stuffs you want with your own money?
what happened to kicking toxic people out of your life?
You are even lucky that your parents pays your school fees. Av seen people who work to pay all their fees themselves and whoever told you that if you leave your self imposed husband,you will die is a big lier.

Aje butter pikin

MY TAKE ON THIS:
Firstly, life is a warfare & you must fight to WIN. you shouldn't have gone back to him after the first abortion.
Since ur parents can afford to pay ur fees then u have no reason to stay under that man's roof. I believe u're a Christian & u belong to a christain fellowship in ur sch. Almost all students fellowship has a general family house. Go to the president of ur fellowship explain ur situation to dem & i believe they will accommodate u there.
You can also get a part time job to support yourself (i don't want to hear there are no part time job in my sch as excuse ). The only reason dat may still keep u under dat man's roof could be dat u enjoy sex with him. Please don't give up, don't take your life & open up to some responsible persons around u. Keep fighting & keep winning. Above all, fear God & be prayerful.