Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please.

Guess he's very comfortable without you guys there. Or is it that he can't foot your bill if you join him der. Madam you dey try ooo. Yankee hubby tins

Ha! 5 years is long o. Was it "arrangee" marriage? Did you discuss about how to and where to stay before marriage? Apart from physical absence, is he emotionally, spiritually, psychologically and financially absent too?

The answers will help advisers get a clear picture.

ur huzzband iz
in UK abi?
sowwi o buh the law
haz made it now impossible for
people 2 bring foreign
spouses

unless he chooses
2 return to 9ja, u juss have
to accept yuh fate.

marriage iz fo betta fo worze

teenk yuww.

Though I am 100 percent not a fan of divorce but ur case is an exception...

prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please.

I'll strongly suggest you should stay married for better for worse.
How do you get lonely with 2 kids tho'?

If you ask me, na who I go ask

Brandnew2:

I'll strongly suggest you should stay married for better for worse.
How do you get lonely with 2 kids tho'?

It shows you know nothing about relationships. Don't you know what it means to be without the physical affection of your partner, husband for that matter. He comes home only once in a year. He probably would spend just a month or two before going back. Do you mean a lady in her 20s will now enjoy sex just for that period. Besides, it goes beyond sex. His presence would mean a lot to the family.

lolaxavier:


It shows you know nothing about relationships. Don't you know what it means to be without the physical affection of your partner, husband for that matter. He comes home only once in a year. He probably would spend just a month or two before going back. Do you mean a lady in her 20s will now enjoy sex just for that period. Besides, it goes beyond sex. His presence would mean a lot to the family.

What are intimacy gadgets for?

Didn't you discuss this before marriage?

So he means you guys will continue like this indefinitely? Pls call family meeting on his head. Let his and your parents talks sense into him.
If he's sure he has no other family over there, why won't he want you guys there?

He wants to be married and live like a bachelor. I'm sure he won't be happy if you fall into temptation but he's not helping you and your relationship at all.

Op! If you ask us, na who we go ask?

Give us a brief background of your relationship. Was the premarital relationship also distant?

spikezz:
ur huzzband iz
in UK abi?
sowwi o buh the law
haz made it now impossible for
people 2 bring foreign
spouses
unless he chooses
2 return to 9ja, u juss have
to accept yuh fate.
marriage iz fo betta fo worze
teenk yuww.

Her marriage is five years old already and I'm sure the law wasn't like that then.... Don't know about the present law though...

Op, if he told you the marriage was going to be like this but you still went ahead, then I wonder what your headache is... You don't want obodo oyibo husband again?

I understand your concern. The marriage is too young.
But in marriage, you don't always get what you want.
Your husband has set the tone for the relationship.

If you move in with him, he will resent you. He does not want to live with you full-time, neither does he want to have SEX with you everyday.

The ball is in your court.

Either you stay and manage, or you go and DAMAGE!

A no-win situation!

Op,would you like to share why you married him and what the initial arrangement was?

KanwuliaJara:
I understand your concern. The marriage is too young.
But in marriage, you don't always get what you want.
Your husband has set the tone for the relationship.

If you move in with him, he will resent you. He does not want to live with you full-time, neither does he want to have SEX with you everyday.

The ball is in your court.

Either you stay and manage, or you go and DAMAGE!

A no-win situation!

100 likes!

Initially when we got married he told me he will prepare my papers, which he did but it didn't work, because i already had my daughter, so the embassy said that he doesn't. Have enough income to take care of me and his daughter. We kept on trying over and over again but nothing. Seems to work. Now i have another baby who is 11months old. My daughter gave him alot of space. My concern now is that he told me February this year that when he gets back to Europe that he will apply for his citizenship, so that it will be easy for him to take us. Up till this moment he has not applied for it. He is taking good care of financial, i won't deny that. But i need companionship, i need a man in my life. I feel empty with out him. I don't want my children to grow without their father.

@Prinwa you can get the companionship you need from friends either male or female. Do you have any?

MarvellousGod:
Her marriage is five years old already and I'm sure the law wasn't like that then.... Don't know about the present law though...

Op, if he told you the marriage was going to be like this but you still went ahead, then I wonder what your headache is... You don't want obodo oyibo husband again?

I never wanted to marry obodo oyibo husband, I have always wanted to marry someone in Nigeria. And he never told me it was going to be like this. Most times I feel I rushed into it.

prinwa:
Initially when we got married he told me he will prepare my papers, which he did but it didn't work, because i already had my daughter, so the embassy said that he doesn't. Have enough income to take care of me and his daughter. We kept on trying over and over again but nothing. Seems to work. Now i have another baby who is 11months old. My daughter gave him alot of space. My concern now is that he told me February this year that when he gets back to Europe that he will apply for his citizenship, so that it will be easy for him to take us. Up till this moment he has not applied for it. He is taking good care of financial, i won't deny that. But i need companionship, i need a man in my life. I feel empty with out him. I don't want my children to grow without their father.

chooi y does diz ur
story sound so similar 2
someone i kno..
iz yuh hubby a youth pastor?
jokez apart.

tell him to recolate
back to 9ja
being wit family iz far
more important dan
anything else hez chasin' up in
d uk

prinwa:
Initially when we got married he told me he will prepare my papers, which he did but it didn't work, because i already had my daughter, so the embassy said that he doesn't. Have enough income to take care of me and his daughter. We kept on trying over and over again but nothing. Seems to work. Now i have another baby who is 11months old. My daughter gave him alot of space. My concern now is that he told me February this year that when he gets back to Europe that he will apply for his citizenship, so that it will be easy for him to take us. Up till this moment he has not applied for it. He is taking good care of financial, i won't deny that. But i need companionship, i need a man in my life. I feel empty with out him. I don't want my children to grow without their father.

Your kids are already growing up without their father.
Our ladies are as gullible as some white ladies who fall for scam marriages.
Your man lives abroad and MOST men who live abroad and have wives back home live their lives abroad like the marriage never took place in the first place. Is that your marriage an arranged marriage?

Brandnew2:
@Prinwa you can get the companionship you need from friends either male or female. Do you have any?

I have friends.

innervoice:


Your kids are already growing up without their father.
Our ladies are as gullible as some white ladies who fall for scam marriages.
Your man lives abroad and MOST men who live abroad and have wives back home live their lives abroad like the marriage never took place in the first place. Is that your marriage an arranged marriage?

no it was arranged.

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prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please.

prinwa:
no it was arranged.

It was arranged or it wasn't?

spikezz:



chooi y does diz ur
story sound so similar 2
someone i kno..
iz yuh hubby a youth pastor?
jokez apart.

tell him to recolate
back to 9ja
being wit family iz far
more important dan
anything else hez chasin' up in
d uk

no he is not in Uk.

prinwa:
I have friends.

So I'm guessing you need companionship that is sexual In nature and that you can only get legitimately from your hubby.

prinwa:
no it was arranged.

I don't want to judge but it seem you have served the purpose he needs you for which is bear him children and raise them.

innervoice:


It was arranged or it wasn't?

it wasn't , I knew him before he traveled.

Brandnew2:

So I'm guessing you need companionship that is sexual In nature and that you can only get legitimately from your hubby.

I don't want to judge but it seem you have served the purpose he needs you for which is bear him children and raise them.

I kind of agree with you.