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Spare the rod, Spoil the child.

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You don't beat a child in my presence; not even yours. Corporal punishment is also criminal in Lagos state. The problem is that we abdicate our responsibility. We should talk to the child before even he/she is born and keep talking to them before they start to talk. It's a process; not crash program. I was nearly killed in the name of discipline and I know the lasting impression.

Ok

Ok
Nothing does beta dat a good whip either by using a cane or d sole of a flip flop esp in d early stages from 4 to 10 years

Den from 10 to 12 smacking with d hand or that unexpected knock or "konk" on the head does wonders.

From the teens , talking to them and financial embargo wud do the trick. I wud tell me kids who r in their teen

" They are at liberty to make their choices but not at liberty to determine the consequences of those choices"

Growing up Pa cane us a lot, so much that our neighbours used to hear our cries. What do u expect in a household of six boys?
Despite this there is nothing we lack. He pampered as much as he caned. And things turn out well.

To my unborn kids better not be born in Naija if not na 3-pronged koboko!

At times u need 2 flog de devil nd demons out of these kids

my son(3yrs of age), I do smack him sometimes, but not very hard, a very light smacking. Canning/spanking my son is a no no no for me. I don't do it and I don't think I will ever do it.

Yesterday I smacked(light smacking) my son when he refused to stop what I asked him to stop. He normally takes my smacking as a joke or something like a play that he laughs anytime I smack him...

Like a drug dosage,you can combine the three for morning ,noon an night for more effective results, the kind of infant-terrible I see these days..

Training a child nowadays should be a mixture of the word and the rod in appropriate measure and at the appropriate times.

Please, check my signature.

He that spares his rod hates his son: but he that loves him disciplines him. Proverbs 13: 24

kITATITA:
You don't best a child in my presence; not even yours. Corporal punishment is also criminal in Lagos state. The problem is that we abdicate our responsibility. We should talk to the child before even he/she is born and keep talking to them before they start to talk. It's a process; not crash program. I was nearly killed in the name of discipline and I know the lasting impression.

And what happens to the ones that won't just listen? You keep talking ba?..the reason in American today, a primary school kid will take a loaded gun to school and go on a shooting-spree. And we are gradually towing same line for lack of proper discipline. Freedom without bounds will lead to anarchy an that's Wat I see of today kids.

kITATITA:
You don't best a child in my presence; not even yours. Corporal punishment is also criminal in Lagos state. The problem is that we abdicate our responsibility. We should talk to the child before even he/she is born and keep talking to them before they start to talk. It's a process; not crash program. I was nearly killed in the name of discipline and I know the lasting impression.

I respect your opinion. But what will you do if I spank MY KID (notice the emphasis on "MY KID" ) in your presence?

You can do as you like which your children, but you won't tell me what to do with mine. That is just not possible. No ill feelings, just countering what you said.

I was brought up under very strict,should I say harsh training.My father in particular became like a terrorist to me n my siblings..He would beat /flog,hit us with any available stick,rod,iron,name them! until sometimes, we fainted n hospitalized,at d slightest provocation.people used to ask us what crime we commit that our father leaves such wounds n scars on our skins...Not that we were stubborn but because he understood discipline that way n would quote bible to support it.

Childhood was horrible.The moment we left home for uni,nobody wished to return,even to visit on holidays

Now we are adults and living apart and we wish to stay as far away from him as possible

Bottomline: Beating a child is not a proper way of discipline.You can actually talk to your child and he/she listens and obeys! Only if you make yourself your child's best friend.
from my experience...spanking/smacking a child should end @ 2years old.once he/she can understand n communicate,TaLk! Talk!! Talk!!!
Children brought up with beating(esp into teenagehood)usually end up either rebellious and hardened OR shy and timid.Initially,i was the latter but I grow into the former!

I will talk to them and advise them but if the recalcitrant ones don't comply. I will flog the devil out of him! I will talk to them and advise them but if the recalcitrant ones don't comply. I will flog the devil out of their body.

a combination of every thing: Prayer; whipping; talking and befriending them! http://www.bummyla.com

midolian:
I don't know how else to qualify it other than child abuse, buh its worse than that. Beating/caning/spanking is much worse than child abuse. I was a victim of this..and to be frank, it hasn't helped me in anyway. It causes only makes one stubborn, apart from the physical harm it may cause..(I ve got a nike scar on my hand to show whoeva is interested)

I believe there are a million and one ways to discipline a child other than flogging him/her like a horse...Some ways that work are; witholding privileges, rewarding them for some of the good things they do OR telling them the possible rewards that comes after every good thing they do and repeatedly telling them the consequences of the bad things they do, and by practicing what you(the parent) preach ..

i will like to know what u did to receive that punishment
i agree with u to an extent but i think whipping a child is necessary atimes depending on the wrong he did but never let him get used to it if not he will grow a thick skin just like in talking to them they will start seeing it as normal thing and therefore not afraid of the punishment

whip them reasonably

fairheven:


And what happens to the ones that won't just listen? You keep talking ba?..the reason in American today, a primary school kid will take a loaded gun to school and go on a shooting-spree. And we are gradually towing same line for lack of proper discipline. Freedom without bounds will lead to anarchy an that's Wat I see of today kids.

Don't even compare Nigeria with America.
I tell you that Nigeria is a more violent society than America. Lawless Nigerians would lynch a pickpocket or someone accused of witchcraft without bathing an eyelid. I shudder to think what would happen if Nigerians have access to guns like we have in America. You can't even drive out of your Nigerian neighborhood at 11pm.

tunergy:
I am a parent myself and i see a lot of parents over indulging their children/wards,

This most times result in need to correct same behaviours.

I have a friend who would not allow his wife scold their son no matter what the boy did, however at a family gathering, the boy walked up to the table where daddies were discussing and he dipped his hands into the bow of groundnuts,

We were all held back and when his father called him back to return the groundnuts, he paused for a few secs and walked away anyway.

You could visibly see the embarrassment on the fathers face.
But i can tell you the boy has never been spanked before in his life and i don't think words are cutting it for him either.
And he is just 5 years.

Your post reminds me of a neighbour who usually tortures me with her three rambunctious kids,all in the name of babysitting. Three days ago,while babysitting and fighting a tornado simultaneously in my sitting room, her little girl of 4years threw her brother's shoe at my tv screen. I took the shoe from her,reprimanded her and removed all 'throwable' items. This little girl intentionally walked to my table,picked up the remote and threw it at the tv again. I looked at this girl and realised that it was a battle of wills. I smacked her across the bottom and snatched the remote from her. I had not taken five steps away before I heard a loud hiss behind me. At that point, I was ready to swear that that girl was an agent sent to make my life miserable. I don't think I ve ever been so eager to dump a kid as I chased them out of my house,back to their mum.

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

The ROD is the most effective correction tool. The world became worse of, when we stopped effective use of the ROD.

Hummm, Dr do-good!!!!

You should lovingly talk to a child, but Dr do-good must join.

There should be a balance to discipline.From my experience

I got three things from my father. The rod,the Word of God(bible) and moral example which is a life to emulate.

It worked for me.

Today it is still the guiding principles on how I approach my daughter.

There is no generally endorsed procedure for training a child. Just like all marriages are different and requires different approach that suits each, so it is for punishing or correcting a child.

We must also understand that DIALOGUE is another form of correcting/punishing a child

More so, the age of the child should be considered. It is senseless to whip a 18-year-old-------if conversation can't work at that age, only prayers can. There is no point advising a baby of 2 years old always--------Whipping may serve better for such, sometimes.

Just imagine if we were not whipped in nursery / primary and junior secondary schools. Now why is it a taboo to whip an undergraduate? The answer is simple------different approaches based on age.

We must also know that punishment is only intended to CORRECT the child. It makes no sense if the child is only made to feel excruciating pains without getting the message.

We must also guide against the following;
----Making the child to lose self confidence.
----Creating so much fears in the child.
----Making the child to be happier when you are away.
----Not letting the child know when he/she is being punished.

As we must correct erring child, we must also understand that certain traits must be pardoned as they are natural and normal within some age bracket.

salisuammy:
Some times you have to whip oo. Children of these days are quite different. Growing up, if you are misbehaving and your parents give you one kin corner eye, you go adjust but it doesn't work now

How are children of these days different?

vivypretty:

i will like to know what u did to receive that punishment
i agree with u to an extent but i think whipping a child is necessary atimes depending on the wrong he did but never let him get used to it if not he will grow a thick skin just like in talking to them they will start seeing it as normal thing and therefore not afraid of the punishment

whip them reasonably

why do you want to know? what reason would make you beat your child till he/she develops marks on the body?

mutter:
Mostly parent beat children because they have no other means of asserting their authority over a child. However a child should acknowledge your authority without being in fear of a violent attack.
We often make mistakes by starting too late with discipline but by age three a child should clearly be able to identify that it better listen to mum and dad.
Many roads lead to rome but why choose the aggressive road! Growing up it seemed quite natural to beat children but later I came to realize that it was abuse and nothing else.
When my kids do something wrong they are really scared of me because my God I don't stop talking. I can go on for over an hour and might decide to repeat the lecture two times in a day going on for several days
That lecture will include God and man, Bible, proverbs, history and you can just see the agony on the teenagers face when I go on talking and talking and preaching. Especially as they have heard most of it before. It works miracles.
Also you need to give teenagers some amount of freedom and a healthy amount of thrust. We parents think it must always go our way! IT mustn't. Listen to their views and compromise with them. It works miracles. My kids know there are some topics I don't compromise about but i I ask you to clean your room and you tell me you are not in the mood , you want to do it later, then why not! Even adults are sometimes not in the mood. And when it comes to decisions about their future- it is their future and not yours so they also have a say.
Most time we have a problem reaching to our children because they don't thrust us.
I remember once my teenage son came up to me and told me he thought his girlfriend was pregnant!
Inside I was screaming loud!!!!! Oh God ! How could you! How dare you! Are you already intimate with a girl! I could just get up and shake you!
But I had to tie myself down.. keep calm! He confided in you! Don't betray the thrust! Well thank God it ended up being a false alarm but I sat two of them down and gave them a serious talk.
The same applies to girls. The best way to keep a girl decent is to boost her self esteem. Make her know she is a queen and worthy of love and respect. Cater for her financial needs to the best of your ability and show he love so she doesn't go out in search of it.
The greatest factor why children go astray is because they are unhappy at home. Then they go to the wrong friends and feel they have a family and are loved. That is why it is so important that children have a happy home, a home where there is peace and they always want to come back to.
Love your kids that is what they need above all else and express that love. Also learn to have fun with your kid`s, laugh crack jokes do things together. You looses some of the "respect" but you gain something special. A child that thrust you .
And most importantly, when a child has done something really wrong! When it has fallen into the well... then help the child out and give love , support and understanding they will respect you more for it.
Some parents really go crazy when the child has committed something serious. The child is in big problem and then you add to it. Where does the child find shelter. That is the time to show the child love and support it to stand up and walk proud.

Well said ma'am,i wish I had a happy home,am sure i'd still be a virgin and possibly be more happy,i always want to leave home

tunergy:
I am a parent myself and i see a lot of parents over indulging their children/wards,

This most times result in need to correct same behaviours.

I have a friend who would not allow his wife scold their son no matter what the boy did, however at a family gathering, the boy walked up to the table where daddies were discussing and he dipped his hands into the bow of groundnuts,

We were all held back and when his father called him back to return the groundnuts, he paused for a few secs and walked away anyway.

You could visibly see the embarrassment on the fathers face.
But i can tell you the boy has never been spanked before in his life and i don't think words are cutting it for him either.
And he is just 5 years.

Training a child is not easy I must tell you. It is just like being a football coach, you must handle every team and players with a good understanding of how to get the best results.
Some parents even need more training than their child. Others need to be trained on how NOT to train a child.

One of the best gifts to a child of this boy's age, is spanking and whipping.

Just imagine if we were not whipped in nursery/primary and junior secondary schools.

yh

midolian:
I don't know how else to qualify it other than child abuse, buh its worse than that. Beating/caning/spanking is much worse than child abuse. I was a victim of this..and to be frank, it hasn't helped me in anyway. It causes only makes one stubborn, apart from the physical harm it may cause..(I ve got a nike scar on my hand to show whoeva is interested)

I believe there are a million and one ways to discipline a child other than flogging him/her like a horse...Some ways that work are; witholding privileges, rewarding them for some of the good things they do OR telling them the possible rewards that comes after every good thing they do and repeatedly telling them the consequences of the bad things they do, and by practicing what you(the parent) preach ..

Na u be d first person wey I see say cane nor work he stubbornness ooo.

I'm here to read comments

bayino:

i've gat this scar from one canning i rcivd and each time i remember i feel like ending the life of the 3 fools who did it. I dont consider pple who beat children till they get scars as lovers. Only smokers and drunkards shld do such. Im not saying u shldnt beat a child bt dnt beat a child like ure beating a horse.

lol @ the emboldened.

You are on point, bro

midolian:
I don't know how else to qualify it other than child abuse, buh its worse than that. Beating/caning/spanking is much worse than child abuse. I was a victim of this..and to be frank, it hasn't helped me in anyway. It causes only makes one stubborn, apart from the physical harm it may cause..(I ve got a nike scar on my hand to show whoeva is interested)

I believe there are a million and one ways to discipline a child other than flogging him/her like a horse...Some ways that work are; witholding privileges, rewarding them for some of the good things they do OR telling them the possible rewards that comes after every good thing they do and repeatedly telling them the consequences of the bad things they do, and by practicing what you(the parent) preach ..

Tell me my friend if for some reason unknown to you your child of 8 start urinating inside your fridge which of this strategies as listed above will you use to handle the child?

Hmm....actually whenever they caned me....it usually change me back to my default setting

But I think we teens nowadays what we need is dialogue and it should not be too much

My mum wanna advise me coz some girls are calling me players....she used like 4 hours....midway I was tired....the use of dialogue should not be long...


I think it is step by step
When the child can read a to z u will use spanking(small chilo for head e don do)
Wen he start reading 1 to 100 u can use canning ( I calls it Dr do good)
When the child is able to read (u will mix both spanking and canning)
When he becomes a teen starting from fifteen you will begin the use of dialogue

Simple as that.... Also make ur child to trust you....