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My Wife Nags A Lot / Females In Nigeria (F.I.N) Facebook Member, Nags Husband To Death / Wife Nags And Prioritises Of Her Family Responsibilities Above Her Marital Home. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by WebSurfer(m): 12:08am On Sep 09, 2015 |
GHoJes:God bless you for this response, one of the best i have read in a while. 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by MrBasketball: 12:13am On Sep 09, 2015 |
MrsPhyno: Am I holding you? So if he can't live with the nagging wife, does that suppose to be your advice? 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by Nobody: 12:14am On Sep 09, 2015 |
MrBasketball:Yea thats my advice. If he can't live with it; kill her, get out of the marriage or stop being broke. I hate complainers. |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by staymore: 12:15am On Sep 09, 2015 |
BiafranNigerian: Real men talking, not all this Wizkid boys and girls here. Op, carefully read and understand the advise above. We run and determine the direction of our homes, women manage the homes. First 12months is always tough until you device new strategies to stabilize situations. 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by Rajiolaade: 12:16am On Sep 09, 2015 |
times u are bouyant always save half and spend only the other half & let her be aware, during that period make it ur turn to nag back,when next u got broke, make sure ur savings are intact, refuse to touch ur savings. By so doing u'll put her state of hopelessness in suspension, & also instil in her the fear of resiprocating her nagging behavour, when ur turn comes. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by sokera: 12:16am On Sep 09, 2015 |
Pray and work harder ... |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by awesomesossy(f): 12:17am On Sep 09, 2015 |
bettercreature:Yeah...u r very correct....wait oooo....so u nag too...**pick up my slippers** starts running... |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by MrBasketball: 12:18am On Sep 09, 2015 |
MrsPhyno: But you like people who nag just because their husband is broke for a day. |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by Nobody: 12:20am On Sep 09, 2015 |
MrBasketball:i didn't say i like her but she's not the one coming to complain on NL is she..... |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by lastpage: 12:22am On Sep 09, 2015 |
richommie: LOL at 'appearing poor'! @Op: Maybe she is the "nagging type" naturally and you only realise/appreciate her nature when you are broke because then, you are "sensitive" to the signs of nagging? But on another note, they say "marriage is like a marathon race, starting well ahead does not mean you will win it or even complete it but starting bad is even worse......... a non-starter"! My drift is that if just after ten months your wife is already nagging about your finances when you are "temporarily broke"..... what will happen if God forbid, you like some men l have seen in life, lose your job or source of income for years? She will divorce you then, if we go by this trend! But let me ask you: How did you end-up not knowing this trait about your wife, during courtship? *Did she just develop the habit now or you were just too 'pussy-whipped' to notice? *Were you never "low on cash" during courtship..... what was her reaction then? *Have you sat her down (l read what you wrote about the "preaching" to let her know that if things continue this way, it is a "deal breaker" and none of you will live a happy life? (beware of the "pretence stage" in that scenario as women are noted to pretend until they have say one or two children as they want.... and then show their true color afterwards.... and then it will be too late for you, the man) If you dont have children yet in this "baby-marriage" of yours, l THINK THIS IS THE TIME TO "TAKE A STEP BACK AND REFLECT SERIOUSLY"! CAN YOU GO THROUGH THIS SORT OF THING FOR THE NEXT SAY FIFTY YEARS OF YOUR LIFE? The problem that is rearing its head now wont go away and it would be a nightmare for a very, very long time..... that is if you live long enough to go through the suffering. Finally, only you can decide what to do next because you are the one "wearing the shoe and knows how it hurts and whether you can endure it". You know your wife "best" and only you can say whether this is the begining of a nightmare or just a temporary phase It is you that will bear the brunt, if it gets worse, for the rest of your life........ so the "big decision" is yours. I just hope other younger men will learn from your own experience ...... but Men are not wired to learn, when it comes to the issue of women/marriage! Marriage gets less appealing more and more as the day goes by..... the alternative is to just "live together and have children" but not with the "lurking dangers" of a marriage certificate that a man will experience, when the shyte hits the fan later. I wish you well. Lastpage! 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by MrBasketball: 12:22am On Sep 09, 2015 |
MrsPhyno:That's why the op came on Nairaland to seek advice for people to air their own opinion if to call it quit or stay. |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by theplushist: 12:24am On Sep 09, 2015 |
A billion likes. A lot of such naggings and even exorbitant demands by wives will be averted if only men open up about their incomes. Women are not evil. Most of them think you earn more hence they begin to think you are being wicked or stingy. Open up and you'd be surprised by how she would even manage your money for you Kimoni: 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by awesomesossy(f): 12:25am On Sep 09, 2015 |
bettercreature:Yeah....u r very correct I think he is exaggerating d issh.. but wait ooo.... so u nag as well..**picks sandals and starts running away** |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by Leebeedo(m): 12:29am On Sep 09, 2015 |
The simple implication of her attitude is that she'll leave you if she gets a richer man. Though I've not heard from the other party but if what you said is the plain truth, my sincere advice to you is to threaten her with a divorce . |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by BRAVAGAD0O(m): 12:29am On Sep 09, 2015 |
lastpage:thank you, I really need to respond to some certain question you ask about didn't I notice her nagging during our courtship; you see this was where I feel av biin setup cuz there's a certain way we work things out then she behave mature then and we both even know how we scale throu some difficult circumstance then but now she just change, she don't understand all she do is pull up a fight for every little thing she won't complain about before! |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by Poseidon000: 12:31am On Sep 09, 2015 |
janefrancisca:[size=13pt] Lol..I really had to laugh on the embolded. Anybody who knows me, know that I am a realist. There is no difference btwn Op's wife and this woman>>www.nairaland.com/2583131/prince-james-uche-sick-bed Betrayal is not all about finance,but finance instigate the other form of betrayal. Any money centered person, is very dangerous to be with. I can't be with such person,even he/she happen to be my brda or sis. [/size] |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by UjSizzle(f): 12:32am On Sep 09, 2015 |
Someone asked the same question on Sharing Life Issues with ChazB and little Mary said: (I paraphrase) Women do not nag for nothing. If she nags then she is not satisfied with something you're supposed to do or have done, and the problem most likely escalates because you do not pay attention to her. So call your wife, sit her down and ask what she wants. Tell her you feel hurt when she's upset with you and you will love to know how to please her. Then shut up and let her talk. I mean it, shut up. Allow her unburden and don't even try defending your actions at all. When she's done, thank her for sharing this with you and you both go to bed. You can then pick a different day to air your own grievances 'nicely'. I think that's a good way to settle your marital disputes. It's never good to get angry when there's an angry person already about. You'll only add fuel to the flame. Since you're here seeking help then you must love your wife and want to fix this. Perhaps you could try Little Mary's advice and if that doesn't work, then her problem is something extraordinary. The most important thing here is paying attention. A lot of guys fail this. Good luck with your marriage. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by Festy4u(m): 12:35am On Sep 09, 2015 |
yanabasee: You are so much on point! That's all to the issue on ground. She is still in communication with her ex/exes and whatever she hears from them whether true or false she expressly passed to the hubby through nagging so as to get him fraustrated. Some girls/women are not worth d stress! |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by ddestiny20(m): 12:35am On Sep 09, 2015 |
its a normal thing for women to nag, but not when u are broke, wen a woman is nagging cos u are broke my guy run oh cos she is a money monger and on a long run u will say if i had known. Women likes money generally, but wen it comes to wife they don't nag about it except to of una na ajegunle una dey stay. |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by MrBasketball: 12:35am On Sep 09, 2015 |
BRAVAGAD0O: Nobody ought to tell you she's finding a way to call it a quit... Women are like that. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by NemzySeries(m): 12:37am On Sep 09, 2015 |
Cutesexy1:did u read hiz post carefully?.....he only asked 4 advice abeg.....hiz a man not a God 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by Sunny4Gold: 12:42am On Sep 09, 2015 |
Never too late bro 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by NemzySeries(m): 12:44am On Sep 09, 2015 |
bros ur wife own na joke....she neva kw watz up yet......seemz shez not yet aware dat BooBoo has bin president 4 ova 100days nw.....bros no money everywhere Õoº°˚ ˚°ºoo |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by musicwriter(m): 12:51am On Sep 09, 2015 |
BRAVAGAD0O: May be you presented yourself as a rich man just to woo her. Now, it seems she's not seeing the impression you gave her. So sad, but you caused it. You should have let her know you're often broke when you were wooing her. That way she'll not expect much from you, and you'll not be under pressure to prove you can provide for her. I believe she knows the reality, but she's just deliberately wanting you to live up to the impression you gave her initially. |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by adconline(m): 12:52am On Sep 09, 2015 |
Sorry your parents didn't tell u..Marriage to most Naija girls is the easiest way to escape from poverty or to move from struggling class to comfortable classs without working so hard for it... Welcome to the club!' 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by lastpage: 1:01am On Sep 09, 2015 |
zomoears: I just wonder at those who make excuses for "untrustworthiness and unreliability" in a marriage were TRUST and being RELIABLE are the Pillars? Being broke or even being poor is not a crime afterall, we cant all be rich and no one has told me that poor people are not supposed to have a family? Marriage is termed "for better, for worse" when you say "i do" yet here are some "silly men" making excuse for and even blaming the husband for the wife's "treacherous behaviour"? I can understand "some" Nairaland women, their post is a reflection of their own moral values, if they have any .... but these pussy-whipped" men really annoy me How about if it was the man who is nagging simply because his wife "falls short" in some areas (e.g if she is a terrible cook) .... would they roundly condemn the woman or ask the man to stop nagging and buy her a cookery book or even suggest he learn how to cook himself ? Why cant we use the same yardstick we use for one gender, for the other gender.... afterall, we all go around parroting "equality of gender"? You need to see the statistics (and why) men die earlier than women, despite the fact that it is women that do things that have a detrimental effect on longevity (periods, menopause, childbirth, e.t.c)! The reason is that "some men", urged on by some women, have placed undue burden and stress on their own life (wanting to "be the man and impress women" by slaving away, trying to acquire vanities and money, just to please their women, who are forever demanding and would not move a toe for them if places are swapped..... and end-up paying dearly for it with reduced life-span. I am sure we all know what l am talking about here so dont let us pretend. Dying from "stress-induced heart attack" is not what makes you a man! What about the children who lost a father too early, do they deserve that in life? Men should understand that their is a limit you can use all your life to chase money/wealth because you want to impress an "insatiable woman" who demands more and more from you (directly or indirectly using subtle methods like nagging) while you work your self to death because you want to meet up and be considered a real man. That is stewpid, if you ask me because if after stressing your life out, you acquire all the "wealth" and lose your life early (45 -55 years), the nice one will mourn you for three months before deciding its time to move on with another man (the wicked ones are already doing it with the next man when they complain you are not doing marathon in bed, forgetting that a man that is stressed-out all the time will have his libido affected!). WHO THEN IS THE LOSER HERE? Brothers, be wise! Be hard-working, be financially prudent, provide for your family's "reasonable" needs, within the limits of your power and health. Take your personal health seriously, Rest very well at intervals, Exercise a lot (if she would let you have the time), dont be a glutton (that protruding stomach is NOT a sign of wealth, it is a disease and a ticket to shortened life span!), eat right and dont let your wife feed you with stuff that shortens your life (intentionally or otherwise.... like too much fatty food. Some women are known to intentionally "force-feed" their husbands to look/be unattractive and unhealthy!)... and take "breaks" from all strenuous activities" every now and then, to "recharge" your batteries. I tell you, if like me you look so good (physically, mentally & health-wise) that people think you are twenty years younger, your wife cant keep nagging you because she is aware that if she does, she will be "throwing away" what other ladies who are thirty years younger than her, will grab with both hands. Its a reality of life. Caveat: My wife is a major contributor to my fitness and stress-free life (one of a kind ......damn!..she will read this comment before tomorrow or next! ) so l give credit to whom and where it deserves.... and she is reaping the "benefits" and will, till death do us apart. But hey, take your life into your hands and stop being a whimp...... .this only one life! Lastpage! 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by pinky1974: 1:05am On Sep 09, 2015 |
If you start condoning such rubbish she will definitely continue taking u 4 a ride If she is educated n not working then get her a job or better still get her something doing if not she will frustrate u n one day pack her belongings n leave Wishing you all the best 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by mployer(m): 1:05am On Sep 09, 2015 |
UjSizzle: Nne, You shouldn't be supporting evil. The guy didn't say she nags at random. She nags only when he guy goes broke. That is wicked. She is a fair weather companion. There is nothing to talk about. He only got to fix himself or bounce....if he really wants to keep his sanity. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by Aude(f): 1:06am On Sep 09, 2015 |
@op: does your wife work and does she contribute to the upkeep of the home? If she doesn't, then tell her we are now in the 21st century and women do contribute to maintain the household. Too many African men die before their time because they take on a lot of responsibility. I'm certain that while you guys were dating she never paid for any of your outings or even bought you a present. If a person is tight-fisted during courtship, they won't change after marriage. I would always advise men that before they marry they should see if their partners would support them when times are hard. No one knows the future and marriage is a partnership. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by ceecee0703(m): 1:09am On Sep 09, 2015 |
Bros congrats on ur marriage,now u start seeing other parts of ur wife u never knew and now she is seeing other parts of ur pocket she never saw. my advice is this as much as possible try to make her understand,show her love n let her see u are trying ur best to keep the family afloat. remember also that the most trying moments of every marriage is the first 5yrs cos after that the two individuals now knw wat they are up against. so my dear what u are passing tru is not really unusual. God help u. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by pepperrest001(m): 1:18am On Sep 09, 2015 |
Funny husband, so u didnot notice this during ur courtship with her, why can't u go for counselling b4 taking d step of marrying her. B4 marriage u must ave make sure dat u ave make ur partner to ur own personal taste or level so dat u will not ave problem in ur marital home in future. Bros, u need 2 pray 4 God 2 make her change 4 good. |
Re: My Wife Nags Anytime Am Broke, Please Advise by lastpage: 1:24am On Sep 09, 2015 |
BRAVAGAD0O: Do what Ujsizzle wrote up there (even though l have a premonition that the game is up but it is still a good mental exercie to get to the root of a matter.... or at least try to!). Ask her WHAT SHE WANTS FROM YOU.... and keep quiet when she is talking.... and dont say anything in return for that day. JUST LISTEN! It may give you an insight into the inner workings of her mind. Lie down and REFLECT SERIOUSLY on every word she utters. Look out for what we call "keywords" that 'say little... but mean much' (if you are the very perceptive type of person who can "extrapolate" into the future) Then after a month and she is still nagging, do what someone else said: Type a "REDUNDANCY LETTER" on your company letter headed paper, to yourself. Make it look so real and give reasons (like company is restructuring and let the company thank you for your good services to it, all this while and that the redundancy will take effect in 30days time. The idea is to ensure and cater for the time you will still be going to work every morning, yet give her enough time to react. If things work out well, it also gives you the 'ability' to say the company changed their mind and have extended your stay for say another three to six months Show her the letter, after reading it, dont take it from her immediately but keep an eye on it ALWAYS (she must not make a photocopy o!). After a while, take it back and destroy it immediately. Write "mock" application letter for jobs and leave it on the table. Print your CV and 'forget' it on the table as well. Let her know you are looking for another job Make sure you really look sad during this period, refuse to eat at times (but load something before getting home so you dont die overnight ). The key thing is she has to believe "You are finished". What she does in those thirty days will let you know whether she will be your wife for life or she is just ready to fly! In marriage, there will be ups and downs but a man is better-off ALONE in those "down-periods" than to be with a cantankerous woman who nags! The Bible refers to one's wife as "A HELPER". A 'helper' does not nag you when you are down..... they 'support and encourage' you. Lastpage! 1 Like |
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