GHoJes:
I'm not exonerating your wife, it is often said there's a reason for 'her' nagging.

From what you put up there i can deduce she nags because you are not good with managing finances, may be you are the type that must spend as long as the money is there unless you want to confidently tell me you married an insane woman.

From my screen, you dont speak of being responsible, much more to your wife who is close to your skin. The lifestyle you have up there says your pay is not so bad yet you are always broke, people who earn less are managing better. Why is it that you guys have get to the point of recurrently waiting for the next pay like your life will stop if it dosen't come in the next one week? You dont have savings, investments, future financial security in case of the unforeseen and you say your wife should not fear for the remaining days of her life from what she has seen these ten months.

She may have food to eat but just decide to rub the "brokeness" in your face to see if it will make you sit up. Man, you are no longer a bachelor that can live only for today, you have to make your family financially secure. Seek ways to improve on your financial management and stop using the word broke more than the jobless or a student. If your wife is better with management, keep ego aside and let her do the managing. Also assist her to get any small job or business. You get work, e be like this, naim be say you for run comot house if you and her no get anything.

MrsPhyno:

I knew someone would quote me...... Leave me alone.

If he can't live with his wife nagging, he should know what to do.

MrBasketball:


Am I holding you? So he he can't live with the nagging wife, does that suppose to be your advice?

BiafranNigerian:
I do not think any unmarried person here has the moral high ground to advise BRAVAGAD0O. Marriage is beyond your chewing gum sexual semesters in blue rooms.

BRAVAGAD0O, most women nag when the liquidity dries up. It doesnt mean they are bad people, it actually what makes married people more financial savvy than most singles. The demands of your wife should make you, not break you. You can not chicken out of marriage because your wife treats you differently when you are broke. I believe a strong man will work harder to keep a happy wife instead of complaining about her nagging attitude.

Let me give you an advise:
1. Stop being in charge of spending at home. Sit your wife down and both of you should calculate feeding allowance commensurate with the size of your young family. calculate the electricity bill. Calculate the petrol bill for generator and calculate her monthly allowance then sum it and know that it is your responsibility to provide that to your family.

2. Make your wife the custodian of the funds above, and make sure you keep some money for your beer, cos you will need it.

3. Work smart enough to provide 2. above in 3 months installments and you will have peace of mind.

When you follow this guideline for about a year, trust me, your wife will tell you she doesnt wanna control expenses again, cos when she sees 3 months allowance at once, she will spend more than necessary, and start managing when she realizes you are broke and she has collected what is due for the home.

It works for me, it should work for you. I usually pay mine 6 months ahead. But I plan to be making it annual payments soon. As I dey so, me and my home boys have excessive cash to spend on beer, after madam has receive a couple of millions to run the home for the whole year. Whatever I make is none of her business. I go home and my food is smoking on the dining table and no one sees me spending money at home.

The woman manages the home, men manage the house.

bettercreature:
Don't mind the OP,i dont think its as serious as the way he wrote it here,most ladies nag when their husband is broke,some men are even worse exp me who is typing this,i always switched off totally when am broke

MrsPhyno:

Yea thats my advice.

If he can't live with it; kill her, get out of the marriage or stop being broke. I hate complainers.

MrBasketball:


But you like people who nag just because their husband is broke for a day.

richommie:
Obviously she's a gold digger.

The only way to know a good and trustworthy woman is by appearing poor
When the money comes beetch gets closer

#Yolo

MrsPhyno:

i didn't say i like her
but she's not the one coming to complain on NL is she.....

Kimoni:
OP, I advise that you involve her more in financial matters. Let her know the total income the family makes and how it is spent. Take monetary decisions together and she won't have any cause to whine about you being broke.

I suspect she doesn't know how much you earn and she feels you can do much more than you are doing now. Or maybe there is something you are spending on that she doesn't believe in.

Again, since she is the type that complains a lot about money, tell her to get a job/start a biz and use the income to meet her needs.

bettercreature:
Don't mind the OP,i dont think its as serious as the way he wrote it here,most ladies nag when their husband is broke,some men are even worse exp me who is typing this,i always switched off totally when am broke

lastpage:


LOL at 'appearing poor'!

@Op:
Maybe she is the "nagging type" naturally and you only realise/appreciate her nature when you are broke because then, you are "sensitive" to the signs of nagging?

But on another note, they say "marriage is like a marathon race, starting well ahead does not mean you will win it or even complete it but starting bad is even worse......... a non-starter"!

My drift is that if just after ten months your wife is already nagging about your finances when you are "temporarily broke"..... what will happen if God forbid, you like some men l have seen in life, lose your job or source of income for years? She will divorce you then, if we go by this trend!

But let me ask you: How did you end-up not knowing this trait about your wife, during courtship?
*Did she just develop the habit now or you were just too 'pussy-whipped' to notice?
*Were you never "low on cash" during courtship..... what was her reaction then?
*Have you sat her down (l read what you wrote about the "preaching" to let her know that if things continue this way, it is a "deal breaker" and none of you will live a happy life? (beware of the "pretence stage" in that scenario as women are noted to pretend until they have say one or two children as they want.... and then show their true color afterwards.... and then it will be too late for you, the man)

If you dont have children yet in this "baby-marriage" of yours, l THINK THIS IS THE TIME TO "TAKE A STEP BACK AND REFLECT SERIOUSLY"! CAN YOU GO THROUGH THIS SORT OF THING FOR THE NEXT SAY FIFTY YEARS OF YOUR LIFE?
The problem that is rearing its head now wont go away and it would be a nightmare for a very, very long time..... that is if you live long enough to go through the suffering.

Finally, only you can decide what to do next because you are the one "wearing the shoe and knows how it hurts and whether you can endure it".
You know your wife "best" and only you can say whether this is the begining of a nightmare or just a temporary phase
It is you that will bear the brunt, if it gets worse, for the rest of your life........ so the "big decision" is yours.

I just hope other younger men will learn from your own experience ...... but Men are not wired to learn, when it comes to the issue of women/marriage!

Marriage gets less appealing more and more as the day goes by..... the alternative is to just "live together and have children" but not with the "lurking dangers" of a marriage certificate that a man will experience, when the shyte hits the fan later.

I wish you well.



Lastpage!

janefrancisca:
jeez Are you for real? if you were to be a marriage counselor, i swear 80% of your clients will be separated in just a week after their wedding. This marriage is not up to a year for Christ's sake, its something that can be fixed.I will advice him to talk to her about how irritated he is about her nagging attitude. 2 stop being broke too often, maybe you should try to cut some unnecessary expenses down. Besides what is she bringing to the table as a woman?...that is why am against full time housewives. She should get a job...its useful in cases like this. at least when her hubby is broke, she should step in and cater for the family and herself. for those saying any unmarried person shouldn't advice, it should not be so. We may not be married but then our parents, siblings or folks are married and we av their experiences and lessons with us, besides some issues require common sense to resolve.

yanabasee:
Op.... I wouldn't say much... As you've clearly put it.. She's not happy with the marriage... If you dig deep.. You'll noticed that, the man she would've married is still communicating with her, perhaps, telling her how he's doing too well and how he's sitting untop of money and how she's missing out.
.
.
You have to study your wife.. And you have to scold her if need be... You have to keep love aside and scold her severely to know that you're the man of the house... These kind of wives will leave you or even divorce you, if you lose your job...
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Just play a prank on her... Design a Sack/Termination letter and show her.. And she will leave u with few months.
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You actually married a woman dat will not be able to stick with you when things get rough... And what is she even doing at home? Can't she work?

BRAVAGAD0O:
thank you, I really need to respond to some certain question you ask about didn't I notice her nagging during our courtship; you see this was where I feel av biin setup cuz there's a certain way we work things out then she behave mature then and we both even know how we scale throu some difficult circumstance then but now she just change, she don't understand all she do is pull up a fight for every little thing she won't complain about before!

Cutesexy1:
And you think the best way to resolve the issue is by bringing it to nairaland,be a man,face your family and tackle the issue squarely,marriage is not a bird of roses,you experience the good,the bad and ugly time,it is your ability to make wise decisions and stay true to yourselves that will make it work.

BRAVAGAD0O:
Hello friends, 1st of all, I don't want you to see me as a man that involves third party in his marrital life/affair, am not that kind of man, in fact a lot of things go on that I rather let it stay in my home for us to sort or face together than involving family or friends but this challenge is really heavy for me to bear.

I don't really know what else to preach to her that I don't like her behavior anytime am broke ,for me it's a total turn off because it always makes me feel like am not being appreciated even with all my efforts to make us happy.

My wife nag anytime am broke or notice my pay ain't coming soon, all she does is play blame game like telling me all sort of story, like she never eat since last year, like she's not happy, that the marriage is hell because of just few days broke, and the few days broke doesn't mean no food for us, the few days broke doesn't mean I won't raise money to fuel generator talk less of some more important bills. I am just 10 months old in this marriage, please, real men in the house kindly advice me on what to do, if am the one being wrong here because I don't understand why she's always like that.

Lalasticlala I wouldn't mind front page at all because I really want to learn from all other husbands out there... Thanks

zomoears:


Very sensible post...would v sounded better without d use of d "b" word.

Only way to know who loves u for real is to appear broke. Her true colors will shine thru in difficult times.

A friend of mine, a banker, was suspended pending investigation of an alleged fraud.guy man sold one of his cars, set up a shop, and tried to make ends meet. After 7 months of no banker's salary, his wife took off with d 2 kids. He was recalled last month, and now d wife wants to return. If na you, wetin u go do?

UjSizzle:
Someone asked the same question on Sharing Life Issues with ChazB and little Mary said:

(I paraphrase)

Women do not nag for nothing. If she nags then she is not satisfied with something you're supposed to do or have done, and the problem most likely escalates because you do not pay attention to her.
So call your wife, sit her down and ask what she wants. Tell her you feel hurt when she's upset with you and you will love to know how to please her.
Then shut up and let her talk. I mean it, shut up. Allow her unburden and don't even try defending your actions at all. When she's done, thank her for sharing this with you and you both go to bed.
You can then pick a different day to air your own grievances 'nicely'.

I think that's a good way to settle your marital disputes. It's never good to get angry when there's an angry person already about. You'll only add fuel to the flame. Since you're here seeking help then you must love your wife and want to fix this. Perhaps you could try Little Mary's advice and if that doesn't work, then her problem is something extraordinary.

The most important thing here is paying attention. A lot of guys fail this.



Good luck with your marriage.

BRAVAGAD0O:
thank you, I really need to respond to some certain question you ask about didn't I notice her nagging during our courtship; you see this was where I feel av biin setup cuz there's a certain way we work things out then she behave mature then and we both even know how we scale throu some difficult circumstance then but now she just change, she don't understand all she do is pull up a fight for every little thing she won't complain about before!