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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? (13974 Views)
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Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Joromi1: 10:17am On Jan 16, 2016 |
It's seen as normal thing if a married man is caught cheating on his wife but a shocking scandal if the reverse is the case. Why does the society give married men the liberty to cheat on their wives? Please, I need answers ![]() 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by donbenedict(m): 10:21am On Jan 16, 2016 |
Ur answers are found in the book of proverbs. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by DeMekus: 10:27am On Jan 16, 2016 |
It's nature. As singles, women cheat more but are less likely to cheat than men in marriage. A cheating married man would not be praised but the society would not totally condemn him either. But a cheating married woman would not only be condemned but rejected by fellow women. It's God's doing and we can't question Him. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Tallesty1(m): 10:27am On Jan 16, 2016 |
Because you've lost her once she cheat. Read am here https://www.nairaland.com/1937785/why-naija-men-hardly-forgive 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Joromi1: 10:29am On Jan 16, 2016 |
DeMekus:Are you saying God approves of men's infidelity? ![]() 19 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by StefanSalvatore: 10:41am On Jan 16, 2016 |
Bcuz we've paid their dowries, they belong 2 us n 2 us alone |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 10:56am On Jan 16, 2016 |
Op it is because a Man belongs to everybody and to nobody but a woman belongs to a Man. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Hafyz23(m): 10:56am On Jan 16, 2016 |
It is b'cos of our cultural and religious beliefs that see woman as 2nd individual to her husband. That's nt good though 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Richy4(m): 12:43pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
It is Not a country thing... all over the world, no one like a cheating partner... some women grudgingly forgive not because they are the forgiven type but because they are financially challenged... The man is the bread winner of the house... how will she manage on her own especially with kids.....? But in advanced countries the Law made it quite easy for the ladies when it comes to separations... ... They will take half of what the man has... on top of that, the man will pay welfare for the kids weekly or monthly depending on his wages until the kid turns 18. Not that African women forgives, the law was not favourable to them.... 12 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Joy1706(f): 1:00pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
I guess I'm wired like a man cos I can't forgive a cheating husband o. Lai lai 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Joromi1: 1:16pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
Tallesty1:Oh, nice! But the entire writeup is biased! |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by McSquishi(f): 1:20pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
Joromi1: The rule books were written by insecure men. Insecure men are intimidated by the idea their woman will find other men attractive, but also they're so insecure that they look for as many women as possible to validate their manliness. My hubby told me of his hometown tradition that a cheating woman will kill her kids if she sleeps with her husband anytime after cheating. I asked what happens when the man cheats... of course it was nothing! I mean, if that's not clearly created by men for men... Men might try to use religion or evolution to explain it, that's all bs. There is nothing religious about stepping outside of your relationship/marriage. And there is no evolutionary se.x craving gene that men possess & women don't. The truth of the matter is that cheating is just a sign of ones bad character. 18 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Jahblessme: 1:21pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
Who said they don't forgive? ![]() ![]() The ones that forgive don't make.noise about it cos it may be seen as a slight on their masculinity. Many forgive and move on! 6 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Joromi1: 2:06pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
McSquishi:Wow! Nice writeup! The emboldened part summarizes it all. Thanks! 5 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by DeMekus: 2:23pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
Joromi1:It's not what I mean. But, you know, everything natural is designed by God. He put all those things in place. Married men have been cheating and getting away with it since bible time. There are consequences, though, but it's more in the woman's case. In Leviticus 20:10 ''And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that ... adultery with his neighbor's wife--both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death. ....'' But can you cite a place in the bible where a man was stoned to death for adultery? I don't think so. Even King David slept with Bathsheba, killed her husband and went scot free, although he was punished by God. But I can cite a case of a woman dragged outside by the Pharisees and Scribes to be stoned for committing adultery, upon which Jesus interfered, asking who hadn't been guilty of such to cast the first stone. You see? They dragged out only the woman but didn't disclose to us whom her partner was 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 3:05pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
McSquishi: No, it isn't. You may want to call it a character flaw but I cannot agree that it means that someone's character is bad. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by McSquishi(f): 3:53pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
Mindfulness: I don't know what else to call it when someone promises fidelity but finds difficulty in keeping that promise. If that isn't a flaw, it certainly can't be a strength. We don't have to agree. I was taught that lying, cheating, stealing, etc are morally wrong. Other ppl, perhaps, are taught differently. 6 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Tallesty1(m): 4:22pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
Joromi1:Your opinion, none of my business |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 4:26pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
McSquishi: You didn't call it a character flaw initially. You spoke of a bad character. There is a huge difference between the two. That's MY point. Someone's infidelity may be called a character flaw but the person may also have ten other qualities that are considered morally right so it would be an exaggeration to call the person bad. It is not all black or white, you see. We don't have to agree. I was taught that lying, cheating, stealing, etc are morally wrong. Other ppl, perhaps, are taught differently. Who wasn't? 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by McSquishi(f): 4:49pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
Oh I misread or misunderstood the meaning of your initial reply. I thought you were using "bad character" & "character flaw" interchangeably and didn't agree it was either. I think it shows bad character when you are a cheater, despite other good characteristics you might espouse. Bad character doesn't mean you are a totally "bad" person. Though even the most reprehensible person can likely produce a witness to some decent character trait they possess ie. "He killed all those women but he was the best son to his elderly mother", doesn't change they show bad character in other ways. I think you exchanging my phrase of bad character w/ character flaw is really just semantics. Mindfulness: 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by chydel(m): 5:52pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
Because we are polygamous in culture Joromi1: |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 5:58pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
McSquishi: It is about the way we perceive people and reduce them to single character traits when passing our one-sided judgment. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by byvan03: 6:03pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
I don't believe that women forgive either, you will be stunned on the number of men that forgive once it's not yet public news. Don't let the E bravery they display here deceive you,nah wash. 8 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by JustHere2Observ(f): 6:10pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
I don't think the society gives a man the liberty to cheat. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by McSquishi(f): 6:32pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
Mindfulness: lol ok. The topic was about cheating, a singular act, thus that singular character trait is what I commented on. Cheating, imHo, shows bad character. That's all I stated. If a person cheats, that's bad. When you do bad things, it's a reflection of your character. If you agree w/ that, I don't see the issue. I didn't comment that the cheating person was evil or anything like that. You're reading too much into my statement. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 6:49pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
McSquishi: If it is a singular act then it cannot even be considered a character flaw. It may be a mistake under the influence of booze and the result of prior frustration in the marriage. If a singular mistake or moment of weakness reflects that people have a bad character then we all are bad characters, aren't we? As for the "cheating is bad part", well, for some people it is a coping mechanism and for some others a way to challenge societal conventions that favor monogamy over polygamy. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by edwife(f): 7:11pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
byvan03: You are right, most women don't forgive they just pretend to forgive. Many people think those women who stay in that kind of marriage are senseless,truth is they always clap back secretly. For me men don't forgive because of Ego only when it's out in the public,those who forgive too will never look at their wives the same again,the trust is gone. 8 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by YourCoffin: 7:59pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
All these quack Statisticians wey full nairaland sef By the way wetin consin OP with another person forgiveness. It's his forgiveness. He can choose to do with it as he likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by byvan03: 8:16pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
edwife: Exactly, that's why I really doubt the intelligence of men that fall for " women always forgive blah blah ". They clap back and face front, marriage continues. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by cococandy(f): 8:29pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
Story story. Most women forgive ke And most men don't forgive. More stories. ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by McSquishi(f): 8:51pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
I was saying the singular act the op's topic discussed is cheating. Thus suggesting that I am judging based on one character trait is sorta silly as only one "character flaw" is the topic of discussion. Earlier I commented that I was taught lying & cheating are morally wrong and u replied "who wasn't"... So, now I'm confused at your attempt to justify cheating and hesitation to label it "bad". Entering into a monogamous relationship is a voluntary act. It's a promise to your partner that you'll be faithful. Breaking that promise is a character flaw, it shows bad character. If you don't agree with that, that's fine. Going back and forth is pointless though. Mindfulness: 6 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by missKiffy(f): 9:58pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
Some do forgive |
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