| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by iRepNaija1: 6:17am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Toks2008:
It is the wish of many ladies to get married and while some ladies are fully prepared for the institution,many are totally naive about what lies ahead after saying i do but from my little experience in life, i present to you 10 things no mother or pastor will tell you before you say i do to that man.
1.That no matter how sweet the man is to you,no matter how caring and romantic and no matter how many prophets told you he is your man,that sweet man can turn to a demon after saying i do so what it seems before marriage is never a guaranty of what it will be after marriage.
2.If your man beats or cheats on you when you are courting,there is a 90% possibility that he will do even worse after marrying you and you need to understand that it is a big mistake to marry a man with the hope that he will change some characters you don't like but just learn to love him that way or take a walk.
3.[b]If your man beats you once,it could be a mistake but if he beats you the second time then its a habit he is likely never going to stop.[/b]
4.That it is good to marry a man you have feelings for but it is a terrible thing to marry a man who does not desire you as much as you desire him.
5.That if you marry a man because of what he has and not because of mutual love then be ready to be miserable in that marriage as long as it lasts.
6.That a man can love you with all his life and could still cheat on you because most men think with that thing down there when it comes to their feelings for women and are polygamous in nature and no matter how sweet and disciplined you are,it will not stop him from cheating on you and divorcing a cheating hubby is no guaranty that the next man won't do worse.
7.As a lady, as long as you are sexually decent,GOD fearing,an excellent cook,financially independent and humble,you have absolutely nothing to fear because it will be extremely difficult for your man to disrespect you much less divorce you.
8.That not all men are calm but some have innate tendency to be violent so you must try at all cost to avoid any form of confrontation.
9.That women are women worst enemies and many of your female friends will be glad to see your marriage crumble so avoid discussing your marital flaws with them but take it to God in prayers and you must block your ears from hear says and believe what your hubby tells you even when you have an irking that he is lieing and whatever you have not seen does not exist.
10.That there is always a lady out there who is ready to push you out of your matrimony and take your place but 90% of men who cheat on their wives are not ready to divorce their wives but it is these wives that push the man out with impatience and hot temper so you will need lots of patience to deal with a philanderer because in most cases,they always come back home after having their feel of the side dishes.
11.That no man owns the key to your marital happiness except you because most men are the same and no man is worth the stress and as soon as you are married,you should focus on building your life as well as that of your child(ren).
12.That no marriage is perfect but every marriage has its own perculiar challenges and you must be ready to work on your marital pasture to look green cos that greener marital pasture you see on the other side have been worked so work on yours and remember that a happy union is not between two compactible people or two romantic people but its the one between two forgivers so learn to forgive and you will have a happy union.
13.That no matter how careful you may be in choosing a spouse,marriage will always be a black market where you must prepare for unforeseen situation and there is no right or wrong choice of man but what we have is your choice and what you make out of it and only GOD can guaranty a happy marriage.
Hope these make some sense.
Your sixth and seventh points contradict each other. You claim that if a woman is a certain way, the man will in no way disrespect her. But then you say, because men for some reason can't control their urges and are polygamous in nature, basically it won't stop him from cheating. Isn't a husband (or a wife) cheating on their spouse a form of disrespect? Your write-up basically blames women for any martial strife, cheating, and divorce. Anything that falls on the man is only because it's in his nature or some woman, whether it be his wife or an outsider, made him do it. 1 Like 2 Shares |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Nobody: 6:19am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Donpressman:
I loathe who will hold you back or want to sit you down for bullcrap talks. Quit if you want to and your search for happiness still continues anyway. Its an endless and futile effort regardless! Yeah to you, you seen to have grew up in such an enormous pain. |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Nobody: 6:21am On Jan 17, 2016 |
marypearl:
There are some men who don't cheat on their women, but their xter is so disgusting that you wish if he were to be cheating i will gladly welcome it.
Some ladies would Pack out of their marital home cos the man is cheating, who will such women end up dating married man, some women can act stupid. Ode! How is it off your fvcking business what they make it may or may not end up doing? If that the issue on ground here? |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by macino1(m): 6:23am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Marriage is a beautiful thing if only you understand that it has no specific formular/menu of operation. Just like having different paper type in the same examination. Therefore, find out and do what works for your home. Check out some of the secrets here: www.nairaland.com/2852801/top-secret-make-stick-love |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Nobody: 6:25am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Toks2008:
That moment when teenagers and adolescents who still live in fantacies make wishful comments on a factual thread....smh
Ladies who have expressed a more bragadocio disposition while still single usually calm down when reality stares at them.
Where is the fantasy now? You still do not know what you are saying? |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by canDy4eva(f): 6:25am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Localamos:
What is wrong is wrong. Please let us stop rationalising adultery.
Temptations abound out there, but you have to decide as a man not to yield. God bless u my dear! U r one in a million men. (D devil hz indeed eaten deep in d hearts of men n hv planted d evil seed in many n unless one *male or female* hz d fear of God, d wisdom to handle cheatin will neva come!!!) 2 Likes |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by omojeesu(m): 6:28am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Toks2008:
It is the wish of many ladies to get married and while some ladies are fully prepared for the institution,many are totally naive about what lies ahead after saying i do but from my little experience in life, i present to you 10 things no mother or pastor will tell you before you say i do to that man.
1.That no matter how sweet the man is to you,no matter how caring and romantic and no matter how many prophets told you he is your man,that sweet man can turn to a demon after saying i do so what it seems before marriage is never a guaranty of what it will be after marriage.
2.If your man beats or cheats on you when you are courting,there is a 90% possibility that he will do even worse after marrying you and you need to understand that it is a big mistake to marry a man with the hope that he will change some characters you don't like but just learn to love him that way or take a walk.
3.If your man beats you once,it could be a mistake but if he beats you the second time then its a habit he is likely never going to stop.
4.That it is good to marry a man you have feelings for but it is a terrible thing to marry a man who does not desire you as much as you desire him.
5.That if you marry a man because of what he has and not because of mutual love then be ready to be miserable in that marriage as long as it lasts.
6.That a man can love you with all his life and could still cheat on you because most men think with that thing down there when it comes to their feelings for women and are polygamous in nature and no matter how sweet and disciplined you are,it will not stop him from cheating on you and divorcing a cheating hubby is no guaranty that the next man won't do worse.
7.As a lady, as long as you are sexually decent,GOD fearing,an excellent cook,financially independent and humble,you have absolutely nothing to fear because it will be extremely difficult for your man to disrespect you much less divorce you.
8.That not all men are calm but some have innate tendency to be violent so you must try at all cost to avoid any form of confrontation.
9.That women are women worst enemies and many of your female friends will be glad to see your marriage crumble so avoid discussing your marital flaws with them but take it to God in prayers and you must block your ears from hear says and believe what your hubby tells you even when you have an irking that he is lieing and whatever you have not seen does not exist.
10.That there is always a lady out there who is ready to push you out of your matrimony and take your place but 90% of men who cheat on their wives are not ready to divorce their wives but it is these wives that push the man out with impatience and hot temper so you will need lots of patience to deal with a philanderer because in most cases,they always come back home after having their feel of the side dishes.
11.That no man owns the key to your marital happiness except you because most men are the same and no man is worth the stress and as soon as you are married,you should focus on building your life as well as that of your child(ren).
12.That no marriage is perfect but every marriage has its own perculiar challenges and you must be ready to work on your marital pasture to look green cos that greener marital pasture you see on the other side have been worked so work on yours and remember that a happy union is not between two compactible people or two romantic people but its the one between two forgivers so learn to forgive and you will have a happy union.
13.That no matter how careful you may be in choosing a spouse,marriage will always be a black market where you must prepare for unforeseen situation and there is no right or wrong choice of man but what we have is your choice and what you make out of it and only GOD can guaranty a happy marriage.
Hope these make some sense.
I am very grateful for this your very candid presentation. It sure makes a lot of sense! It is a must read for young girls and women who are yet to be wedLOCKED! I had just finished a heart to heart talk with my one and only daughter on this subject to discover your Nairaland piece. She is at crossroads in her relationship. I have shared your piece with her one of her female cousins. The following are random thoughts I shared with my daughter in our own discussion: 1) Marry your friend. 2) How happy are you in the courtship? How much emotional stress are you experiencing? 3) How caring is he? How considerate / sensitive? How understanding? How kind? 4) Is the person spiritually sound / balanced? 5) How passionate / excited is the person about the relationship? 6) Who is driving the relationship, taking most decisions, initiatives: you or him? 7) Are you afraid or seriously concerned about the relationship and what marriage life may be with him?  How sincere / honest / transparent 9) Do you have doubts, really strong doubts about the relationship? 10) How comfortable are you in it? Deep in your heart are you at peace with it? 11) Are you 100% sure God is in it? 12) Are you eagerly looking forward to a wedding? Are you excited to have a wedding right now? 13) Never marry out of pity for or pressure from anyone 14) Follow your heart guided / informed by your head (i.e. knowledge, wisdom and understanding, intelligence, common sense), etc God will see you through. He will guide you. Trust Him! 1 Like |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by allthingsgood: 6:32am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Wow I feel like getting married. Any ladies available here??  |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by pankere(m): 6:33am On Jan 17, 2016 |
daretodiffer:
You need pankere Who called my name?! Y did u wake me!? |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by johnsonjosbles(m): 6:46am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Toks2008:
It ispossibility that he will do even worse after marrying you and you need to understand that it is a big mistake to ma
8.That not all men are calm but some have innate tendency to be violent so you must try at all cost to avoid any form of confrontation.
9.That women are women worst enemies and many of your female friends will
be glad to see your marriage crumble so avoid discussing your marital flaws with them but take it to God in prayers and you must block your ears from hear says and believe what your hubby tells you even when you have an irking that he is lieing and whatever you have not seen does not exist.
10.That there is always a lady out there who is ready to push you out of your matrimony and take your place but 90% of men
who cheat on their wives are not ready to divorce their wives but it is these wives that push the man out with impatience and hot temper so you will need lots of patience to deal with a philanderer because in most cases,they always come back home after having their feel of the side dishes.
11.That no man owns the key to your marital happiness except you because most men are the same and no man is worth the stre
ss and as soon as you are married,you should focus on building your life as well as that of your child(ren).
12.That no marriage is perfect but every marriage has its own perculiar challenges and you must be ready to work on your marital pasture to look green cos that greener marital pasture you see on the other side have been worked so work on yours and remember that a happy union is not between two compactible
people or two romantic people but its the one between two forgivers so learn to forgive and you will have a happy union.
13.That no matter how careful you may be in choosing a spouse,marriage will always be a black market where you must prepare for unforeseen situation and there is no right or wrong choice of man but what we have is your choice and what you make out of it and only GOD can guaranty a happy marriage.
Hope thes
e make some sense.
Op u were asking if u make sence have don a wonderful job up there! this is the best article i ever read about marriage. thanks for the inovation. hope women folks comprehends that! |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by IsaacBuchi(m): 6:49am On Jan 17, 2016 |
classicB:
"What some married women dnt understand is, that their husband is having sex with other ladies out there doesnt make them less of a wife, lover, mother..., a man can actually love u and still have sex outside. This is because a real man have sex with his d!ck and not his emotions, meanline a woman having sex outside her marriage is slowly destroying it because most times women have sex not only with their vagina but also with their emotion that is why a cheating husband will not allow his wife cheat bck." As said by a married level mate.
classicB:
Cheating in my opinion can be categorised. There are some married men that cheat on their wives and make her understand that they actually have a mistress, these kind of men deny their wives her conjugal right, they deprive her of emotional attention and some other things. I can say men that belongs here do not love their wives. Meanwhile there are some married men that only "sleep outside" they do all they can to prevent their wives from knowing, these kind of people respect their wives enough, they dnt deny her of her right neither do they punish her emotionally.
Lemme tell about our driver, this man loves his wife so much that he is the one that buys her underwear  cater for all her needs and so on, yet this man has a mistress, he belongs to the second category
I dnt know why men cheat anyway.
But a man that loves u belongs with u no matter how many ladies he straffs per day  youre his lover, his wife, the mother of his kids, i dnt know why some frustrated bitches shud bother u
Abeg if ur husby belong to the first category you r on ur own o You shouldn't be stooping so low in morals with the society.... maybe because u ve not been there yet, u need to understand that no man can love you enough and sleep outside... he pretends he cares when u have not caught him but his conscious will never lie to him, he will feel it in his bones....& ur own instinct will tell you ur hubby is not like he has been with you from the start. I want to believe that sex always goes with emotion whether male or female (only men successful hide them) even if the man doesn't have emotions while having sex outside one day he would be enjoying himself & his emotions would get trapped.  I bet if u suspect ur hubby is cheating or u have this value u'll sneak out ur marriage one day & do ur own & clean mouth. Cheating outside marriage is just a greedy expression of self-love @JuniorPortland |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by farida20: 6:58am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Toks2008:
It is the wish of many ladies to get married and while some ladies are fully prepared for the institution,many are totally naive about what lies ahead after saying i do but from my little experience in life, i present to you 10 things no mother or pastor will tell you before you say i do to that man.
1.That no matter how sweet the man is to you,no matter how caring and romantic and no matter how many prophets told you he is your man,that sweet man can turn to a demon after saying i do so what it seems before marriage is never a guaranty of what it will be after marriage.
2.If your man beats or cheats on you when you are courting,there is a 90% possibility that he will do even worse after marrying you and you need to understand that it is a big mistake to marry a man with the hope that he will change some characters you don't like but just learn to love him that way or take a walk.
3.If your man beats you once,it could be a mistake but if he beats you the second time then its a habit he is likely never going to stop.
4.That it is good to marry a man you have feelings for but it is a terrible thing to marry a man who does not desire you as much as you desire him.
5.That if you marry a man because of what he has and not because of mutual love then be ready to be miserable in that marriage as long as it lasts.
6.That a man can love you with all his life and could still cheat on you because most men think with that thing down there when it comes to their feelings for women and are polygamous in nature and no matter how sweet and disciplined you are,it will not stop him from cheating on you and divorcing a cheating hubby is no guaranty that the next man won't do worse. nice one
7.As a lady, as long as you are sexually decent,GOD fearing,an excellent cook,financially independent and humble,you have absolutely nothing to fear because it will be extremely difficult for your man to disrespect you much less divorce you.
8.That not all men are calm but some have innate tendency to be violent so you must try at all cost to avoid any form of confrontation.
9.That women are women worst enemies and many of your female friends will be glad to see your marriage crumble so avoid discussing your marital flaws with them but take it to God in prayers and you must block your ears from hear says and believe what your hubby tells you even when you have an irking that he is lieing and whatever you have not seen does not exist.
10.That there is always a lady out there who is ready to push you out of your matrimony and take your place but 90% of men who cheat on their wives are not ready to divorce their wives but it is these wives that push the man out with impatience and hot temper so you will need lots of patience to deal with a philanderer because in most cases,they always come back home after having their feel of the side dishes.
11.That no man owns the key to your marital happiness except you because most men are the same and no man is worth the stress and as soon as you are married,you should focus on building your life as well as that of your child(ren).
12.That no marriage is perfect but every marriage has its own perculiar challenges and you must be ready to work on your marital pasture to look green cos that greener marital pasture you see on the other side have been worked so work on yours and remember that a happy union is not between two compactible people or two romantic people but its the one between two forgivers so learn to forgive and you will have a happy union.
13.That no matter how careful you may be in choosing a spouse,marriage will always be a black market where you must prepare for unforeseen situation and there is no right or wrong choice of man but what we have is your choice and what you make out of it and only GOD can guaranty a happy marriage.
Hope these make some sense.
|
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Akaewu: 7:04am On Jan 17, 2016 |
naijaboiy:
All these Long story won't change anything at all. I've realised that it's mostly single women that complain and talk like this.
They shout about the things they will do and what they won't when they get married. You think everything is straight like a ruler as you've planned?
Get married first madam and let's see your view after 10 years of marriage. 
THANK YOU O JARE..!!! |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Captain001(m): 7:14am On Jan 17, 2016 |
ststyreal:
Abeg, enough of this husband cheating rubbish and the world clapping in approval of it. For Christ sake, if a man who have vowed before the altar of God and his people to remain faithful to his spouse on their wedding day, now went behind to default in the vow he willingly made before God to his wife, do u think such a man will go unpunished? Huh! You people should stop deceiving your self with a false consolation words like, "man is polygamous in nature or that man is born to cheat or DNA whatever", cos every word spoken must be accounted for, let alone a vow u made before d sanctuary of God' promising to be faithful to your partner. Well, as for me(not my portion though) cos God knows I can't stand a cheating husband, Nitori pe because, my own level of jealousy be like say e pass baba God own. Even though I have told God, that in as much as I remained faithful to my husband, any husband that decides to go unfaithful will always have curses hanged over his life. Enough of this cheating approval, any man who have the intention to cheat on his wife, should make it known to the woman prior to the wedding, if she can cope, fine, if not, she finds her way. Just as any woman marrying a Muslim man should have known the likelihood of the man marrying more wives because of the religion, such scenario is understandable, but not a man, who vowed to be faithful to me before God and his priest and people, now turned back to start cheating on me and u people expect me to swallow it and keep loving him, it is a lie! He will be receiving curses everyday of his life until he desist from such act. Hmmm. The only remedy to this is for you to marry an eternity conscious man not the basterdized "born again" we have everywhere now; as everyone claims to be born again. Only a man who has eternity as a goal will keep away from sin knowing that it only deny him of his ultimate goal. My dear if you marry non God fearing man, be ready as the curses you issued here on nairaland is already hanging on his head as he's going to cheat. Immorality is a strong evil force that no man can withstand without the help of christ. Just use yourself as example; are you able to keep yourself till marriage even when you desire it? My dear by strength shall no man prevail. 1 Like |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by klassic(m): 7:17am On Jan 17, 2016 |
People tend to forget we are in Africa, whether a Muslim, a xtain or an ATR practitioner one thing is sure, you have you ever seen a situation where a woman leaves her matrimonial home/marriage because the hubby cheated and her parents will gladly return his bride price and clap or side their daughter 100%? Nope.
But let it be the other way round that a married woman cheated as a pay back for the hubby cheating altitude and watch what the Africa society will do. They send the woman packing, and they ask for their bride price to be returned and even the lady's family is disgraced and the society attaches a stigma to that family.
Well, I have a uncle who is outspoken, he has been married for about 30years now, he is in his early 60s and have been cheating since the entire marriage. But he is the best hubby, father and uncle you can ever wish for. The truth is the wife does not even know of his sexcapades. Cos he is the best hubby he can be. FYI. I am not advocating cheating oooo. |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Abidexboy: 7:20am On Jan 17, 2016 |
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| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Trustworthiness: 7:22am On Jan 17, 2016 |
ststyreal:
Abeg, enough of this husband cheating rubbish and the world clapping in approval of it. For Christ sake, if a man who have vowed before the altar of God and his people to remain faithful to his spouse on their wedding day, now went behind to default in the vow he willingly made before God to his wife, do u think such a man will go unpunished? Huh! You people should stop deceiving your self with a false consolation words like, "man is polygamous in nature or that man is born to cheat or DNA whatever", cos every word spoken must be accounted for, let alone a vow u made before d sanctuary of God' promising to be faithful to your partner. Well, as for me(not my portion though) cos God knows I can't stand a cheating husband, Nitori pe because, my own level of jealousy be like say e pass baba God own. Even though I have told God, that in as much as I remained faithful to my husband, any husband that decides to go unfaithful will always have curses hanged over his life. Enough of this cheating approval, any man who have the intention to cheat on his wife, should make it known to the woman prior to the wedding, if she can cope, fine, if not, she finds her way. Just as any woman marrying a Muslim man should have known the likelihood of the man marrying more wives because of the religion, such scenario is understandable, but not a man, who vowed to be faithful to me before God and his priest and people, now turned back to start cheating on me and u people expect me to swallow it and keep loving him, it is a lie! He will be receiving curses everyday of his life until he desist from such act. Hello Madam. I want to believe that the op is not supporting infidelity. But, he is trying to be a realist. And not trying to face the reality of what is happening in our time, is just trying to always be in an unhappy mood all the time. It is a fact that man is polygamous by nature. That why you will always see in the cause of history that most men, i said most men, will marry more than one wife. And not ready to face that reality is like someone force himself or herself to believe in lies when the truth is steering at him or her. That is the truth. Having sexual intercourse with a woman that your right hand do not possess (that not married to) is a sin, even in the next of boyfriend and girlfriend and not to talk off being a married man or woman. These are called fornication and adultery respectively. So, the question is why do Married man commits adultery? I won't use the word cheat as it is not a right word to be used in this context. And to me, the word do not fit into the right words to be used in a relationship. As I have said earlier, man are polygamous by nature, but women of today will go any length to cause problem in the marital home if the man try to say he want to marry another woman. That is the first problem and where the idea of some men sleeping around with their wives at home. Some men never sleep around before they got married but started that after they are married. Those ones are usually pushed out by their wives, while some are not been satisfied by wives because they are career women and the husband may want to always give her time for her to have enough rest while she complains of the stress at work and the rest. Some men do go outside their marital home because of what they have been used to before they married. Having multiple girlfriends and having intercourse with them all. Such men cannot be tamed. They will continue with their promiscuous way of life. To all these act of adultery on the part of these married men, there is solution. If all women who want to be married could accept the true nature of men of being polygamous, must be ready to live by it. If your husband decided to have another wife, you better let him but reminds him of his responsibilities to you and your children. I am not talking about men that want to marry another woman to chase out the one at home. I don't support that. If you refused him not to marry another wife or making it a condition before you married to him, do not get angry if you later finds out he has a wife somewhere or sleeping around with other women. |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Trustworthiness: 7:30am On Jan 17, 2016 |
IsaacBuchi:
You shouldn't be stooping so low in morals with the society.... maybe because u ve not been there yet, u need to understand that no man can love you enough and sleep outside... he pretends he cares when u have not caught him but his conscious will never lie to him, he will feel it in his bones....& ur own instinct will tell you ur hubby is not like he has been with you from the start.
I want to believe that sex always goes with emotion whether male or female (only men successful hide them) even if the man doesn't have emotions while having sex outside one day he would be enjoying himself & his emotions would get trapped.
I bet if u suspect ur hubby is cheating or u have this value u'll sneak out ur marriage one day & do ur own & clean mouth.
Cheating outside marriage is just a greedy expression of self-love @JuniorPortland What can you say about some men that sleeps with so many woman almost at the same time. That is keeping multiple women outside his marital home for sexual pleasure? |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by solid3(m): 7:36am On Jan 17, 2016 |
ststyreal:
Abeg, enough of this husband cheating rubbish and the world clapping in approval of it. For Christ sake, if a man who have vowed before the altar of God and his people to remain faithful to his spouse on their wedding day, now went behind to default in the vow he willingly made before God to his wife, do u think such a man will go unpunished? Huh! You people should stop deceiving your self with a false consolation words like, "man is polygamous in nature or that man is born to cheat or DNA whatever", cos every word spoken must be accounted for, let alone a vow u made before d sanctuary of God' promising to be faithful to your partner. Well, as for me(not my portion though) cos God knows I can't stand a cheating husband, Nitori pe because, my own level of jealousy be like say e pass baba God own. Even though I have told God, that in as much as I remained faithful to my husband, any husband that decides to go unfaithful will always have curses hanged over his life. Enough of this cheating approval, any man who have the intention to cheat on his wife, should make it known to the woman prior to the wedding, if she can cope, fine, if not, she finds her way. Just as any woman marrying a Muslim man should have known the likelihood of the man marrying more wives because of the religion, such scenario is understandable, but not a man, who vowed to be faithful to me before God and his priest and people, now turned back to start cheating on me and u people expect me to swallow it and keep loving him, it is a lie! He will be receiving curses everyday of his life until he desist from such act. Honezzzzly bae ur post make zenze, buh the tail end of it waz scary so I refuze to dash u my like. |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Tomiwaa(m): 7:37am On Jan 17, 2016 |
classicB:
"What some married women dnt understand is, that their husband is having sex with other ladies out there doesnt make them less of a wife, lover, mother..., a man can actually love u and still have sex outside. This is because a real man have sex with his d!ck and not his emotions, meanline a woman having sex outside her marriage is slowly destroying it because most times women have sex not only with their vagina but also with their emotion that is why a cheating husband will not allow his wife cheat bck." As said by a married level mate.
Real. |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Nobody: 7:40am On Jan 17, 2016 |
I've always known this Toks of a person to be a misogynist.
This doesn't surprise me 1 Like |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by menxer: 7:41am On Jan 17, 2016 |
@ OP, 1) There is nothing like "After marriage", that would be divorce, after wedding is more appropriate. 2) that a partner didn't cheat during courtship has no bearing on what would happen later as the situation isn't the same. Besides they say "variety is the spice of life", so which one is cheating? 3) if your partner beats you once, it's a mistake, if twice, you are a fool; for the cane is meant for the back of fools. 4) to love someone is not the same as to desire the person. To desire someone connotes mere sexual attraction that wanes with time. 5) marriage is not a one size fits all, that someone married for material comfort and the marriage is not blissful doesn't mean those that married for love fared any better. 6) partners that cheat responsibly are liable to live long, after all variety still remains the spice of life. 7) look around, hav you not seen a dies with better "CVs" than that divorced or single? Have you not heard of the little hole that sank a ship? 8 ) you be learner? Where two people are there is bound to be friction once in a while, ability to manage the situation is What makes you mature and responsible. That is your "response ability". 9) how can you get to know your partner is a "cheat" If you are not told because your chances of finding out yourself maybe less than 2%? 10) Tautology. 11) I guess you are not doing any man a favour by getting, being or remaining married, not even your child(ren), you signed a marriage contract and must uphold your part or stand down. 12) if you know forgiveness exist, then offense is in order. 13) this counters most of your points, If there is no right or wrong choice of spouse, why demonize the cheating partner? This post smacks of "holier than thou", how does the married oloshos and runs mamas fit in all these? OP makes it look like men are mostly to be blamed for any and every bad happenings in a marriage. It takes two to tango. |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by judedwriter(m): 7:43am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Toks2008:
It is the wish of many ladies to get married and while some ladies are fully prepared for the institution,many are totally naive about what lies ahead after saying i do but from my little experience in life, i present to you 10 things no mother or pastor will tell you before you say i do to that man.
1.That no matter how sweet the man is to you,no matter how caring and romantic and no matter how many prophets told you he is your man,that sweet man can turn to a demon after saying i do so what it seems before marriage is never a guaranty of what it will be after marriage.
2.If your man beats or cheats on you when you are courting,there is a 90% possibility that he will do even worse after marrying you and you need to understand that it is a big mistake to marry a man with the hope that he will change some characters you don't like but just learn to love him that way or take a walk.
3.If your man beats you once,it could be a mistake but if he beats you the second time then its a habit he is likely never going to stop.
4.That it is good to marry a man you have feelings for but it is a terrible thing to marry a man who does not desire you as much as you desire him.
5.That if you marry a man because of what he has and not because of mutual love then be ready to be miserable in that marriage as long as it lasts.
6.That a man can love you with all his life and could still cheat on you because most men think with that thing down there when it comes to their feelings for women and are polygamous in nature and no matter how sweet and disciplined you are,it will not stop him from cheating on you and divorcing a cheating hubby is no guaranty that the next man won't do worse.
7.As a lady, as long as you are sexually decent,GOD fearing,an excellent cook,financially independent and humble,you have absolutely nothing to fear because it will be extremely difficult for your man to disrespect you much less divorce you.
8.That not all men are calm but some have innate tendency to be violent so you must try at all cost to avoid any form of confrontation.
9.That women are women worst enemies and many of your female friends will be glad to see your marriage crumble so avoid discussing your marital flaws with them but take it to God in prayers and you must block your ears from hear says and believe what your hubby tells you even when you have an irking that he is lieing and whatever you have not seen does not exist.
10.That there is always a lady out there who is ready to push you out of your matrimony and take your place but 90% of men who cheat on their wives are not ready to divorce their wives but it is these wives that push the man out with impatience and hot temper so you will need lots of patience to deal with a philanderer because in most cases,they always come back home after having their feel of the side dishes.
11.That no man owns the key to your marital happiness except you because most men are the same and no man is worth the stress and as soon as you are married,you should focus on building your life as well as that of your child(ren).
12.That no marriage is perfect but every marriage has its own perculiar challenges and you must be ready to work on your marital pasture to look green cos that greener marital pasture you see on the other side have been worked so work on yours and remember that a happy union is not between two compactible people or two romantic people but its the one between two forgivers so learn to forgive and you will have a happy union.
13.That no matter how careful you may be in choosing a spouse,marriage will always be a black market where you must prepare for unforeseen situation and there is no right or wrong choice of man but what we have is your choice and what you make out of it and only GOD can guaranty a happy marriage.
Hope these make some sense.
To sum-marriage is a risk! It can either fail or succeed. We celebrate the marriage ceremony more, but it doesn't determine the marriage  |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Nobody: 7:44am On Jan 17, 2016 |
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| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by naijaboiy: 7:59am On Jan 17, 2016 |
canDy4eva:
...n may u also hv a cheatin wife who slowly grew to belive dat cheatin z normal! AMEN! AMEN!
Happy now? |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by naijaboiy: 8:00am On Jan 17, 2016 |
pucelle:
Toks2008 I have always admired your write-ups from a distance
I love this realistic post really,its an insight to the truth about marriage,even though most modern women try to deceive themselves  I hope by the time they learn it will not be too late Is that why you are disturbing us with your virginity rants on that highlighted signature? 2 Likes |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by naijaboiy: 8:03am On Jan 17, 2016 |
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| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by permanentgrace(m): 8:05am On Jan 17, 2016 |
ststyreal:
Abeg, enough of this husband cheating rubbish and the world clapping in approval of it. For Christ sake, if a man who have vowed before the altar of God and his people to remain faithful to his spouse on their wedding day, now went behind to default in the vow he willingly made before God to his wife, do u think such a man will go unpunished? Huh! You people should stop deceiving your self with a false consolation words like, "man is polygamous in nature or that man is born to cheat or DNA whatever", cos every word spoken must be accounted for, let alone a vow u made before d sanctuary of God' promising to be faithful to your partner. Well, as for me(not my portion though) cos God knows I can't stand a cheating husband, Nitori pe because, my own level of jealousy be like say e pass baba God own. Even though I have told God, that in as much as I remained faithful to my husband, any husband that decides to go unfaithful will always have curses hanged over his life. Enough of this cheating approval, any man who have the intention to cheat on his wife, should make it known to the woman prior to the wedding, if she can cope, fine, if not, she finds her way. Just as any woman marrying a Muslim man should have known the likelihood of the man marrying more wives because of the religion, such scenario is understandable, but not a man, who vowed to be faithful to me before God and his priest and people, now turned back to start cheating on me and u people expect me to swallow it and keep loving him, it is a lie! He will be receiving curses everyday of his life until he desist from such act. May i never meet a woman like you...amen. Reading your post, it shows you are ready to lay curses on any slightest provocation or derailment as a man. That is aside "cheating" on you, if he fails to buy bread while returning home from work, you would curse him; if he fails to wash the plate he ate with, na another curses u go pour untop his head; if he asks why the tv set in the house was spoilt, another set of curses him go receive. I mean, who wants such a woman as a wife? I reject it 101%...amen. |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by InyinyaAgbaOku(m): 8:06am On Jan 17, 2016 |
daretodiffer:
Wonders shall never end
So man get mind to say woman of a cheating partner is impatient
No one wan take responsibility again o
Oya let's keep passing it around
Irresponsibility will be the plague of some men. Gross ! 1 Like |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by F22RAPTOR(m): 8:08am On Jan 17, 2016 |
CRAP...LOTS OF CRAP. |
| Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by InyinyaAgbaOku(m): 8:12am On Jan 17, 2016 |
.That there is always a lady out there who is ready to push you out of your matrimony and take your place but 90% of men who cheat on their wives are not ready to divorce their wives but it is these wives that push the man out with impatience and hot temper so you will need lots of patience to deal with a philanderer because in most cases,they always come back home after having their feel of the side dishes..................
Op, there is a man out there ready to snatch your wife from you, 90% of women who cheat on their husbands don't divorce them but it is these husbands that push the woman out of impatience, so you will need a lot of patience to deal with a philanderer, they will always come back home after having a feel of the side dishes.
Most of today's men are grossly unmarriageable 1 Like |
