classicB:
"What some married women dnt understand is, that their husband is having sex with other ladies out there doesnt make them less of a wife, lover, mother..., a man can actually love u and still have sex outside. This is because a real man have sex with his d!ck and not his emotions, meanline a woman having sex outside her marriage is slowly destroying it because most times women have sex not only with their vagina but also with their emotion that is why a cheating husband will not allow his wife cheat bck." As said by a married level mate.

pucelle:
Toks2008 I have always admired your write-ups from a distance
I love this realistic post really,its an insight to the truth about marriage,even though most modern women try to deceive themselves I hope by the time they learn it will not be too late

naijaboiy:

How is your 'nemesis' ?

iRepNaija1:


Your sixth and seventh points contradict each other. You claim that if a woman is a certain way, the man will in no way disrespect her. But then you say, because men for some reason can't control their urges and are polygamous in nature, basically it won't stop him from cheating. Isn't a husband (or a wife) cheating on their husband a form of disrespect?

Your write-up basically blames women for any martial strife, cheating, and divorce. Anything that falls on the man is only because it's in his nature or some woman, whether it be his wife or an outsider, made him do it.

daretodiffer:

Who is your nemesis?

Never mind then.

InyinyaAgbaOku:


Irresponsibility will be the plague of some men.
Gross !

naijaboiy:

Never mind then.

naijaboiy:

Is that why you are disturbing us with your virginity rants on that highlighted signature?

omojeesu:


I am very grateful for this your very candid presentation. It sure makes a lot of sense! It is a must read for young girls and women who are yet to be wedLOCKED!

I had just finished a heart to heart talk with my one and only daughter on this subject to discover your Nairaland piece. She is at crossroads in her relationship. I have shared your piece with her one of her female cousins. The following are random thoughts I shared with my daughter in our own discussion:

1) Marry your friend.

2) How happy are you in the courtship? How much emotional stress are you experiencing?

3) How caring is he? How considerate / sensitive? How understanding? How kind?

4) Is the person spiritually sound / balanced?

5) How passionate / excited is the person about the relationship?

6) Who is driving the relationship, taking most decisions, initiatives: you or him?

7) Are you afraid or seriously concerned about the relationship and what marriage life may be with him?

How sincere / honest / transparent

9) Do you have doubts, really strong doubts about the relationship?

10) How comfortable are you in it? Deep in your heart are you at peace with it?

11) Are you 100% sure God is in it?

12) Are you eagerly looking forward to a wedding? Are you excited to have a wedding right now?

13) Never marry out of pity for or pressure from anyone

14) Follow your heart guided / informed by your head (i.e. knowledge, wisdom and understanding, intelligence, common sense), etc

God will see you through. He will guide you. Trust Him!

klassic:
People tend to forget we are in Africa, whether a Muslim, a xtain or an ATR practitioner one thing is sure, you have you ever seen a situation where a woman leaves her matrimonial home/marriage because the hubby cheated and her parents will gladly return his bride price and clap or side their daughter 100%? Nope.
But let it be the other way round that a married woman cheated as a pay back for the hubby cheating altitude and watch what the Africa society will do. They send the woman packing, and they ask for their bride price to be returned and even the lady's family is disgraced and the society attaches a stigma to that family.
Well, I have a uncle who is outspoken, he has been married for about 30years now, he is in his early 60s and have been cheating since the entire marriage. But he is the best hubby, father and uncle you can ever wish for. The truth is the wife does not even know of his sexcapades. Cos he is the best hubby he can be. FYI. I am not advocating cheating oooo.

ststyreal:

Abeg, enough of this husband cheating rubbish and the world clapping in approval of it. For Christ sake, if a man who have vowed before the altar of God and his people to remain faithful to his spouse on their wedding day, now went behind to default in the vow he willingly made before God to his wife, do u think such a man will go unpunished? Huh! You people should stop deceiving your self with a false consolation words like, "man is polygamous in nature or that man is born to cheat or DNA whatever", cos every word spoken must be accounted for, let alone a vow u made before d sanctuary of God' promising to be faithful to your partner. Well, as for me(not my portion though) cos God knows I can't stand a cheating husband, Nitori pe because, my own level of jealousy be like say e pass baba God own. Even though I have told God, that in as much as I remained faithful to my husband, any husband that decides to go unfaithful will always have curses hanged over his life. Enough of this cheating approval, any man who have the intention to cheat on his wife, should make it known to the woman prior to the wedding, if she can cope, fine, if not, she finds her way. Just as any woman marrying a Muslim man should have known the likelihood of the man marrying more wives because of the religion, such scenario is understandable, but not a man, who vowed to be faithful to me before God and his priest and people, now turned back to start cheating on me and u people expect me to swallow it and keep loving him, it is a lie! He will be receiving curses everyday of his life until he desist from such act.

johnsonjosbles:
Op u were asking if u make sence have don a wonderful job up there! this is the best article i ever read about marriage. thanks for the inovation. hope women folks comprehends that!

MzNelly:
I've always known this Toks of a person to be a misogynist.

This doesn't surprise me

MzNelly:
I've always known this Toks of a person to be a misogynist.

This doesn't surprise me

pucelle:

My signature is a truth,and an awareness I am passing across,the world still needs some sanity even in this era of insanity,especially when it comes to morals,don't you think?

Well it's a truth to some people but not everyone. Some of us look beyond virginity to find the dignity in a woman.

With the way you are passing your awareness I wonder how you want those who are not in the same ship(non-virgins) with you to feel.

They are not less of a woman because they have lost that which you people hold as "dignity".

daretodiffer:


Oh, the one that called himself deexy. Is he your guard dog?

No!

He's me and I'm him.

naijaboiy:

No!

He's me and I'm him.

Toks2008:


Thanks...

Most of my write ups if not all are unbiased,pragmatic and down to earth.

Some people have taged me many names just because of my no holds bar approach.

I keep telling people,i dont even know how to cheat on any lady in my life neither do i wish to be polygamous but please does this change the fact that many married men sleep with another lady or ladies asides their wives?

Is polygamy a sin?....A BIG NO

is philandering or adultery a sin.....YES IT IS

So if a man can get another wife if he so desires without sinning against God almighty then i believe no lady should kill herself over the fact that your man has a mistress.

Im not and will never justify or support a sinful act but the fact that smokers are liable to die young have never changed the fact that people still smoke and the fact that many pastors will preach against sins today will not stop many from still commiting sins latter today.

Believe it or not,if you are the type of lady who has no shock absorber against a possible infidelity of a man,PLEASE STAY OFF MARRIAGE.

naijaboiy:

Well it's a truth to some people but not everyone. Some of us look beyond virginity to find the dignity in a woman.

With the way you are passing your awareness I wonder how you want those who are not in the same ship(non-virgins) with you to feel.

They are not less of a woman because they have lost that which you people hold as "dignity".

daretodiffer:


You are in the second category if he is afraid of you or you have something he is not ready to lose. Either way it is BS, because it is like saying you are not enough, you are just 95% not 100%. You are the emergency woman kept safely and secretly for time when he messess up because he knows you always have his back

SOme glad to be 95% but me I fvcing want o be at the center of the universe if you want the same of me

pucelle:

I think all your write-ups are okay and well laid out...
you should close your eyes to the ranting of the naysayers avoiding the practical truth,you and I knows they have no liver to do what they type online its all a facade.


A woman who finds herself with a philanderer(I will not use the word cheater) should have known better or should know better than thinking cheating on him too will solve anything.

But I don't think your thread is based on cheating only,I like the way you highlighted many things some women think is not,its high time women realise that all that glitters is not gold

Ashmark:
""" If your man beats you once,it could be a mistake but if
he beats you the second time then its a habit he is likely
never going to stop.""".........What if your Woman slap you once? Is it a mistake?

UncleLondon:
You made sense bro

May you never stumble and may you rise to the top and never fall and while you are rising may the steps to the top for you never be like this.

Oya call that lalasticlala make he do wetin he sabi do.

classicB:
"What some married women dnt understand is, that their husband is having sex with other ladies out there doesnt make them less of a wife, lover, mother..., a man can actually love u and still have sex outside. This is because a real man have sex with his d!ck and not his emotions, meanline a woman having sex outside her marriage is slowly destroying it because most times women have sex not only with their vagina but also with their emotion that is why a cheating husband will not allow his wife cheat bck." As said by a married level mate.

daretodiffer:


Yeah to you, you seen to have grew up in such an enormous pain.

Toks2008:


Thanks...

Most of my write ups if not all are unbiased,pragmatic and down to earth.

Some people have taged me many names just because of my no holds bar approach.

I keep telling people,i dont even know how to cheat on any lady in my life neither do i wish to be polygamous but please does this change the fact that many married men sleep with another lady or ladies asides their wives?

Is polygamy a sin?....A BIG NO

is philandering or adultery a sin.....YES IT IS

So if a man can get another wife if he so desires without sinning against God almighty then i believe no lady should kill herself over the fact that your man has a mistress.

Im not and will never justify or support a sinful act but the fact that smokers are liable to die young have never changed the fact that people still smoke and the fact that many pastors will preach against sins today will not stop many from still commiting sins latter today.

Believe it or not,if you are the type of lady who has no http://dailytimes.com.ng/breaking-first-case-lassa-fever-confirmed-lagos/shock absorber against a possible infidelity of a man,PLEASE STAY OFF MARRIAGE.

MzNelly:
I've always known this Toks of a person to be a misogynist.

This doesn't surprise me

naijaboiy:

Well it's a truth to some people but not everyone. Some of us look beyond virginity to find the dignity in a woman.

With the way you are passing your awareness I wonder how you want those who are not in the same ship(non-virgins) with you to feel.

They are not less of a woman because they have lost that which you people hold as "dignity".

valdovas:


Polygamy is not a sin?!?!!?

Now I know for a fact that you are not a Christian.
Please stop deceiving innocent men and women with your devilish theories about marriage.