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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? (13995 Views)
How I Caught My Cheating Wife / Why Nigerian Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Woman / "Deny Your Husband Sex" - Leaked Chats Of A Cheating Wife (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by MsGlobalwonder(f): 9:55am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Richy4:you have made valid points. Women are getting wiser per day, they now financially empower themselves. ![]() 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by MsGlobalwonder(f): 9:57am On Jan 17, 2016 |
McSquishi: |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 9:58am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Night for me, but morning to ya ![]() This is absolutely true.... We have been brainwashed into believing that we can only love and desire one person and we should be doing so for the rest of our lives when in fact our natural inclination is a different one. So, I do think it bitter, especially times I ponder the long term. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by MsGlobalwonder(f): 9:59am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness:semantics! Character flaw, bad character... what's the difference in context ?? ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 10:02am On Jan 17, 2016 |
EnlightenedSoul: Yeah, right. Whatever time of the day / night, have the best of it. ![]() This is absolutely true.... There are millions of people who desire a monogamous relationship and stability. If this is what you want, go for it. I don't believe it is a bitter truth that many people desire something else. It is diversity that makes life interesting and gives us many different options to choose from. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by MsGlobalwonder(f): 10:04am On Jan 17, 2016 |
![]() ![]() chydel: 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 10:09am On Jan 17, 2016 |
MsGlobalwonder: If my husband is a loving and caring father, a supportive partner, an understanding person, generous and has a great sense of humor and then along the way cheats on me, then I will be wrong in saying that he is a bad husband based on one incident that discounts everything else he has done for me and the family. That's the difference. I cannot deny all his other wonderful qualities and focus on one mistake and judge him entirely based on that. If my child steals chewing gum, then I will label this behavior bad but will not say that I have a bad child that may otherwise be very polite, good at school, helpful and considerate. That's the difference. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 10:20am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness: But to think that it's an incredibly flimsy concept in and of itself, even for those who do want it. To want and love someone, but then to naturally want others beside him/her as well and to willfully struggle against that. It sounds like a bitter truth (and a rather bitter existence to me), lol. But then why are people such jealous creatures? It seems to me the only human emotion that lacks purpose. The only human emotion that is utterly and completely useless. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 10:28am On Jan 17, 2016 |
EnlightenedSoul: It is a flimsy concept because people accept it without questioning it and hence do not go for it truly based on what works for them but on what society has set up for them. However, not everyone in a monogamous relationship struggles. There are people who are perfectly ok, happy and fulfilled with one partner only. But then why are people such jealous creatures? It seems to me the only human emotion that lacks purpose. The only human emotion that is utterly and completely useless. Jealousy is the result of insecurity and the need to have someone else validating your worthiness. It is also the result of a (meanwhile almost global) society that tells people that true love is exclusive. [size=3pt]It is fun having this conversation with you. Don't leave. I have a lot of work to do today and will spend the day at the writing desk so nice conversations are a welcomed distraction and not many people here have the ability to think outside the box.[/size] ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by mostyg(m): 10:31am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Na wa ooo. What a long list of reasons? I understand you only gave some reasons people who cheats give and in no way trying to support infidelity in marriages Now that we know the reasons, are these reasons justifiable? If one has taken a vow to be faithful to his/her other half for better and for worse, no reason would justify infidelity. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by HaneefahRN(f): 10:35am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness:So u shld be able to accept and forgive ur wife readily when she exhibit such trait while trying nt to conform wt societal values 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 10:37am On Jan 17, 2016 |
mostyg: Exactly! At least one person who understand that I am not judging nor justifying anything. I am seeking understanding. Now that we know the reasons, are these reasons justifiable? I wouldn't necessarily say justifiable but understandable. If one has taken a vow to be faithful to his/her other half for better and for worse, no reason would justify infidelity. That is the problem. People should not make such vows in the first place ![]() It is pretty delusional to promise someone that you will love and want them the same for the rest of your life. You can have such intentions and that may be your desire but you can NEVER know if you will be able to keep such a promise. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 10:38am On Jan 17, 2016 |
HaneefahRN: I don't have a wife. Can I forgive cheating? Yes, I can! |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by EfemenaXY: 10:41am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness: I was "shocked" at your brazenness. (Sigh) wish I could join you lot in this conversation. Just got way too much to do. ![]() I need me some "me time"... |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by HaneefahRN(f): 10:43am On Jan 17, 2016 |
ronald4lif:So u want to do unto others what u can't accept? 4 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 10:44am On Jan 17, 2016 |
EfemenaXY: I thought I was notorious for being brazen. ![]() ![]() ![]() (Sigh) wish I could join you lot in this conversation. Just got way too much to do. Just do it! ![]() I need me some "me time"... I am sitting at my writing desk and will be sitting here for more hours than necessary just because I like the distraction that NL is. ![]() |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by HaneefahRN(f): 10:45am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Good. But I don't pray u marry a chronic cheat |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 10:49am On Jan 17, 2016 |
HaneefahRN: Because? |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by EfemenaXY: 10:52am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Shocked, in quotes. ![]() Miss you too, but can't. ![]() Been meaning to ask you, how do you grow (not sure "emotionally" is the right word to use), to the point where you're physically able to exert enough power over your mind to control your levels of happiness? i.e. The determination not to let external factors / people get you down by adopting the concept: I / you are in in full control of my / your happiness? Aside from always remembering / constantly reminding yourself to do so? |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by mostyg(m): 10:54am On Jan 17, 2016 |
I personally believe that most people do not get caught at the first time. If a woman/man is caught cheating, thats probably not the first time. I also believe that "What is worth doing once is worth doing everytime". I cant imagine my wife cheating on me but I doubt forgiving he. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 10:59am On Jan 17, 2016 |
EfemenaXY: This is my favorite topic. ![]() Mediation is the magic word in this context. Learn to quiet your mind first. This will enable you to control your thoughts in the next step and it is important because your thoughts determine your mood. Once you have learned to quiet your mind and control your thoughts, you will think in a way that feels good to you and this will determine your mood. I can't live without meditation. I do it every day for 15-30 minutes. It is very easy. Sit down comfortably, set an alarm clock and pay attention to your breathing. Your mind will wander off again and again. This is normal and ok, especially in the beginning. Each time you notice it has wandered off, bring your attention back to your breathing. You will notice that you relax when you quiet your mind and life will become much easier. Pay attention to the moments where thoughts are absent. It is sensational. It is a beautiful journey and extremely empowering. ![]() |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by HaneefahRN(f): 11:23am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Did tht come out wrong? I pray u marry one then, so u'll av alot of forgiving to do or u cld simply look d other way while he or she goes abt their business, moving from yellow to black and in btw. U're female, ryt? I like the way u don't seem to care, but make sure he buys and uses condoms wt his gfs or u cld get them for him so he doesn't get u infected wt STIs |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 11:27am On Jan 17, 2016 |
HaneefahRN: You conclude too much. Who told you I wasn't married? And why do you think I would marry a slowpoke who doesn't know that he has a responsibility to protect himself and me when cheating? Thanks for your prayers but I doubt you would pray on my behalf and that's why I asked why you would pray for me at all? 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by HaneefahRN(f): 11:42am On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Alryt. I sincerely prayed for u. I lost a close family friend and her new born baby to HIV/AIDs late last yr, she contracted it from her husband, the man was a known adulterer, he probably didn't use protection just once or d protection failed. Tht woman and tht poor baby lost their lives to his recklessness, he incidentally isn't dead nw, he is on treatment. So when I made tht prayer, I was serious 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 11:49am On Jan 17, 2016 |
HaneefahRN: Sorry for your loss and thank you for your prayers. However, my opinion says nothing about the life I live, the marriage I have and my husband's behavior. And chances are higher that I die in a road accident than from STDs. ![]() 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 12:01pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Not that we can but we should , of course we find attractive numerous people we come by everyday and with it comes the desire to have sex but we have to control our urges and desires , that is one area which distinguishes us from other lower animals. If a man requires absolute fidelity from his partner then she deserves the same. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 12:31pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness: I know that. But I feel the vast majority of people aren't happy with the status quo, yet still gravitate toward it and desire it especially on the part of their partners ('cuz jealousy). I've heard so many stories of married people I know whose sex lives are, like, dead. They're young. 3-7 years in and though they care about each other and have families, they're already fed up with each other sexually. My sister before she got divorced (she's remarried now), would visibly cringe when her ex-husband would so much touch her on the shoulder for no reason she could put into words. That's freakin' scary. I wonder if that could happen to me. Poly friends seem to have healthier relationships, but their lifestyle is markedly more risque and high-risk. Still, IDK, but a big part of me thinks monogamy just isn't sustainable, and I wonder sometimes. Jealousy is the result of insecurity and the need to have someone else validating your worthiness. It is also the result of a (meanwhile almost global) society that tells people that true love is exclusive. Yeah, but have you noticed how anger, sadness, happiness, etc, and every other human emotion known to man has some discernable purpose, except jealousy? [size=3pt]No problem. [/size] |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 12:56pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Hmm. I haven't been able to accomplish this at all. Either my body is active, my mind is, or both. I enjoy yoga, swimming, and aerial silks for winding down and getting rid of excess energy/keeping myself in shape, but I can't, for the life of me, keep still long enough to meditate. When and how did you start? |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by McSquishi(f): 1:13pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
You're arguing things that were never in contention. Earlier I already said that showing bad character does not mean someone is a totally "bad" person. Showing bad character and being "a bad character" are two different phrases. The former is the phrase I used, the latter you attribute to me but I never said. I can't continue to make the same clarification. Being a cheater is bad... You don't even agree w/ that statement thus as I stated earlier, it's pointless having this discussion as we'll never see eye to eye on this. Mindfulness: 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 1:25pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
neoapocalypse: Why should we stick to one partner? I don't think everyone feels the urge to sleep with everyone they feel attracted to. Moreover, what you said about animals there is wrong! My female dog would only allow males come closer when she was fertile and some animals only have s.ex when they are ready to procreate. Humans don't. If a man requires absolute fidelity from his partner then she deserves the same. This is for each couple to decide. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 1:29pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
EnlightenedSoul: I see you have enough life experience so that you don't argue like a teenager. ![]() Yeah, but have you noticed how anger, sadness, happiness, etc, and every other human emotion known to man has some discernable purpose, except jealousy? All emotions have a purpose. They are an indicator. Jealousy indicates your feelings of insecurity. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 1:30pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
EnlightenedSoul: I have been doing it for two years now. You don't need to meditate for hours. 15 minutes are enough to quiet your mind a little bit. |
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