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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? (13978 Views)
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Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 4:56pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
McSquishi: Don't you think murderers, rapists, psychopaths and the rest should get a free pass too. You can't really blame them, let's blame their environments ![]() |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 4:57pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 4:58pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
ronald4lif: That's a bit ironic. I would think the "out of spite" cheater would be more forgivable than the "out of control" cheater. Fascinating, tho. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 4:58pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
daretodiffer: It is. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 5:00pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
daretodiffer: So cheaters are now thrown in one basket with murderers, rapists and psychopaths? ![]() By the way, I don't know where you people read that people cannot be blamed for cheating. They are not only being blamed, they are being crucified on this thread. ![]() |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 5:05pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 5:06pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Cheaters blame the society. A paedophile who have been abused too. Psychopaths could also blame the society that failed to do its job. In fact, society is quite a stretch. What about psychology ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 5:09pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
daretodiffer: Having an explanation for something is not the same as having an excuse for something. And even courts consider someone's life experience and psychological state in the finding of the verdict. It does not mean that personal responsibility is neglected. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 5:13pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness: I know but explanation can be quite compelling and can also be used to limit liability. Personal responsibility should come first biko. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by HaneefahRN(f): 5:14pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
daretodiffer:High five! Don't mind them jare, they will sleep around wt anything in skirt not stopping for once to put themselves in their partner's shoe, but cry foul when they are paid in same coin, so it's only the man tht deserves faithfulness in marriage while the woman has to smile and endure all his bullshit. Bunch of hypocrites 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 5:15pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
I can't believe people are still arguing page upon page of why infidelity should be tolerated. The summary of the whole thing is: if you are a xtian or muslim and you want to justify adultery with any excuse at all then you need to get your head checked. If you are a juju worshipper or atheist and you want to justify it then please state your beliefs before presenting your case so people know where you are coming from. Unfollowing this useless thread that contains arguments that justify immorality and discarding self control. God forbid. Tufiakwa. *spits* 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 5:18pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
fellis: So before I comment on any thread I have to state whether I am a Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Jew or Hindu? ![]() You religious folks need to re-examine your holiness. You use your religion as it fits you. Cheating is so immoral but spitting is Godly, aight? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Fanirandele: 5:20pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
Anyone who cheats on their spouse regularly is a bad person. 1 or 2 times we can call it a mistake after that it's a choice. Choosing to do something consistently when you know it hurts your spouse( the one you claim to love ) makes you a bad person. If you have no problem with huting someone you made a vow to and you say you love you have real problems. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by ronald4lif(m): 5:28pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
daretodiffer: I'm hypocritical and selfish, yea I know. But humans are all selfish. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by bjcole(m): 5:35pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness: I am not discussing religion with, I m discussing God and his principles, except if you dont believe in God and if so, our discussion here is meaningless. It is only a fool that believe there is no God. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 5:38pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
ronald4lif: ;DD I hope you tell her this before marriage |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 5:39pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
HaneefahRN: She is not human. She is superhuman ![]() |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by ronald4lif(m): 5:42pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
bjcole: You believe in someone who you have never seen and think you're smart then consider a person who's rational enough not to believe in a white bearded fellow who no one has ever seen foolish? You're really smart. NOT! 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by HaneefahRN(f): 5:45pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
daretodiffer:Lolz, abi o. Later they'll come around and call a woman the weaker sex. The emotional and psychological trauma some women go thru in the hands of insensitive husbands can't be endured by many men. U will see a man doing a particular bad thing to his wife go crazy when tht same thing is done to his sister or daughter, forgetting he is also doing it to someoneelse's daughter. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by HaneefahRN(f): 5:47pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
daretodiffer:Lolz, abi o. Later they'll come around and call a woman the weaker sex. The emotional and psychological trauma some women go thru in the hands of insensitive husbands can't be endured by many men. U will see a man doing a particular bad thing to his wife go crazy when tht same thing is done to his sister or daughter, forgetting he is also doing it to someoneelse's daughter. Life wld never be a better place until we start putting ourselves into other pple's shoes b4 doing things. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by ronald4lif(m): 5:52pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by EfemenaXY: 5:59pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 6:01pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
bjcole: How do you know God's principles? Don't answer, it is a rhetorical question. So please don't tell me your religious views were not part of the discussion. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 6:04pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
Fanirandele: And what if they no longer love their spouse? |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 6:06pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
HaneefahRN: The question is why some women endure emotional and psychological trauma in the hands of their husbands? 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by EfemenaXY: 6:06pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Mediation. Nice one. But what if the source of one's disquiet is right before them? Would mediation work? Or rather taking one's self away from the source of distraction? |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 6:08pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Well done. That's great and I'm certainly happy for you ![]() I feel my self-confidence is healthy. With me, it's more a question of possession, which probably isn't a good thing in itself, but something I personally feel would be indicative of severely dampened feelings for the object of my affection if ever found wanting, or absent. And even then, I'm not quite sure I'd react 'favorably', simply as a matter of principle. At the same time, as I said, I highly doubt complete monogamy is 100% sustainable on either end so I'm not entirely sure how that'd play out. One of my bf's seems to think I'd not be good at handling it on the premise that I haven't experienced being dumped before, but I don't think that experience, i.e, one of heartbreak, embodies a deeper level of feeling like he does, or has anything to do with anything at all, really. Besides, I have experienced immense loss (death). Anyway, I'm pretty good at getting out of situations I dont feel are worthy of my time and input. And this is gonna sound really f'd up, but most people are generally disposable. To expantiate on that, I believe that if your ideas, values and outlook aren't complimentary, there should be no forcing it and that it's better to back out right then and there than weather unnecessary storms on uncertain terms for questionable persons. It's something that's worked for me thus far. So, to willingly release to just anyone the one person who compliments me to the extent that I would marry said person is something I'm not yet happy to contemplate. Despite logic. And despite everything I know to be true. But I know I should. I know I may even want to at some point. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 6:08pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
EfemenaXY: If you can, remove yourself from situations and people who don't make you feel good. This is the best you can do. However, there are situations in which it is not possible. |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by EfemenaXY: 6:10pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Precisely. So what do you do then? |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Fanirandele: 6:11pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Then leave the marriage and feel free to sleep with as many people as you like. Alternatively you can discuss with your spouse straight up and let him/ her know you are no longer in love but you don't mind staying married for the companionship if the person does not mind you stepping out every now and then. If the woman or man has a low enough self esteem and wants to stay married regardless then good luck to you both or maybe the spouse also wants to get their groove on outside lol. People have open marriages ( can't do it but to each his own) , deception is what I can't stand |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 6:11pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
EnlightenedSoul: @bold It doesn't sound f'd up to me. It is true and this is another reason why I do not feel any jealousy any longer. ![]() |
Re: Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? by Nobody: 6:14pm On Jan 17, 2016 |
EfemenaXY: I focus on what I like about the other person (everyone has something nice about them, you need to find it) but you need to train your focus first or else you get worked up, frustrated and more aggressive / hostile (whatever) towards the person. You need to be in full control of your mind to be able to focus and to focus effectively. Can you give an example maybe without revealing too much of your private life? |
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