My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! - Romance - Nairaland
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| My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by hurting: 3:47am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Good day all! I never thought I will never create a topic like this because I believed I had a perfect love life. I have to create this moniker just for this topic that has and still eating me deep. I will try to make it as brief as possible. I have been a relationship for 7yrs with the lady that I love beyond measures. I do anything possible within my reach to satisfy n make her happy. She has also been wonderful and almost perfect (nobody is). We started dating from uni days and where d pride n envy of many even after school. After my service, I started looking for job but as things get murky in d labour market, I started a little ICT troubleshooting hustle, just to keep body n soul together before d job comes. Now this lady has been supportive all d way, after her service she moved to where am based, we managed what we have. She got a job while I was still doing what I do, I could provide for d daily running around like food, clothing, small bills, etc. I could pay my rent sometimes but atimes my siblings support me. When biz haven't been good. Now this my lady resigned from where she was working because her female boss wasn't treating them well, tru one of my friends I secured a better paying n welfare job in a construction firm for her. We have been doing fine all this while but when I proposed to her she said we should wait till I get a better paying job. I make an average of 35-40k at d end of month but because I spend on what we need in d house I usually don't have it in bulk at d end of d month. She earns around 80k plus a car. Her new boss gives car loan to all his staff down to d secretary. She is an engineer there. She have been having this fear of lack because of what she faced as a child, so whenever d issue of marriage comes up she says I shld wait till I get a job n when ever her friends or mine wedd she cries n complain that I dnt want to marry her. I have promised her that we can make it with our present earnings n with time I will get that job. I knw I live far better than some married men in terms of finances. This year I made up my mind to ask her for hand in marriage on vals day, but last week she gave me d shocker of my life, but telling me she had moved on because of my employment status. I have begged like I ave never begged anyone before, telling her that am very sure d job will come before d babies start coming. She told me she has found someone else and that she has made up her mind. She still loves me, but the job issue I her phobia, dont get me wrong she is very decent n has been faithful all our yrs together. Right now my heart is torn to shreds, I don't sleep at night, I cry every night, I cant eat well, I have lost weight. Am I beginning to scare my self with d kind of suicidal thoughts I have these days. I have built my whole adult life around her, I try to let go but cant. Pls nairalanders advice me before I do something drastic, I need all the advice I can get, am on job sites 24/7 now just to get something n probably win her back. She is not after riches just d basics. And for those that will lash me, I need it too, it might cheer me a bit. Pls help a brother. pls help me push this to FP I need all d advice I could get before its too late for me. P.S. Sorry for any grammatical blunder n punctuation errors. 94 Likes 16 Shares |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 4:14am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Look bro, first things first. I'll advise that you don't relent in your hard work and search for a job, but you shouldn't make the mistake of doing all this with the mindset of winning your girl back. To be honest with you, the girl made her decision and she chose someone else, someone more financially capable over you, despite the long way you the both of you had come. It's kind of sad, I know, but it's her choice and she has her reasons. She has told you she has moved on and I think you should too. Things like this happen at some point in our lives and when this kind of things happen, the best thing to do is to just wipe the dust of pain and regret off of you and move on with your life. That girl betrayed your love and friendship, all on the altar of having a better life. That tells a lot about her character and what exactly it is she wants from life. Even if you do win her back, which is highly improbable, what's your guarantee that she won't leave you for someone else in future when the going beings to get tough? The thing about love is that it makes you think that person you are in love with is the best person out there, but that's not true. You might think that no one can be as pretty and fun and smart and all those good qualities you admire in her, all in one, but there are actually other girls like that out there, better girls. And out of them, there is one for you. But in other for you to see them, you first have to remove the scales of supposed love from your eyes. So, stop crying like a baby and get this girl off your mind, free yourself from all the negativity and keep looking for a job and I know you will find one. And when you do find one, work hard to be established in it, and along the line, you will find the right girl who really deserves you. 759 Likes 86 Shares |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Wizzz: 4:16am On Feb 13, 2016 |
It's painful but try to live with the belief that every disappointment is a blessing You will get a good job 107 Likes 8 Shares |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 4:34am On Feb 13, 2016 |
I know it's insensitive but your moniker is funny. OK I m gon go read an see if I can help.. Modified: Hurting stop the suicidal thoughts.NOTHING an NO ONE is worth you taking your life. If you think there's need,see a therapist, go to a GOOD church, go to close friends or family. 16 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by callMeAlpha(m): 4:50am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Bro u keep clamoring on how faithful she is and all DAT... Look,was she faithful wen she met a guy behind ur back?,like u said,she told u she had found someone else,meanwhile u guys were still dating wen she gave the new guy a chance,.see if she was ready to settle down wit u she would av considering she's got a reasonable job and at least you're doing something and at the same time working on getting something better,..funny how a woman will break ur heart and still give stupid reasons jst to justify her casted act and also take the giult of her to u,..,...lemme tell u the truth,wat you're doing rit nw will never help the situation, women don't appeal to pity, no one wants to be wit someone out of pity,plz stop begging her because it will drive her further away from u,...to me 7 years ain't seven days so I believe if u guys actually had something quality y u were dating den It will be difficult for her to get over u DAT easily.. So my advise is for u to stop calling her so wit time she'll begin to miss u,work on ur self,get a reasonable paying job,feel challenged,improve on ur dress sense,also she's been ur woman for 7 years so u know what she likes...and remember don't go typing shit on Facebook or else you'll end up saying a lot of trash DAT will even make her feel irritated because rit now you've been clouded By ur emotions, give her a period of 1-2 months of no contact.. She'll jump back begging bt i would advice u let her go except ur lyf is tied to hers,there re wonderful and beautiful womem out there,trust me i once had an heartbreak dat got me thinking like u.and plz don't wait and sit around for 2 months,..go work on urself and make some bar.....thank me later  331 Likes 13 Shares |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by lomprico(m): 4:52am On Feb 13, 2016 |
QueenValerie:Lol d dude is hurting naa 10 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by sotall(m): 4:54am On Feb 13, 2016 |
k |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Olasco93: 4:58am On Feb 13, 2016 |
hurting:'Maybe' she wasn't the one destined for you in the first place. The fact that you think things are wrong around you now, is not an excuse for things to be wrong with you. Cheer up; she never believed in you in the first place. Thank God it happened now rather than later. Somethings might look like disappointments on the surface but are actually blessings in disguise. It is well brother... 50 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by hurting: 5:00am On Feb 13, 2016 |
callMeAlpha: Thanks bro! I fear she will get over me if I stay clear. I know her very well. And she is also heartbroken, she cries when I call her, as for d dressing, I have a very good dress sense, I kit well n dats one of d reason she loves me. 9 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by samdavjustin(m): 5:03am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Dude if I were you I would let her go. Delete her number or anything that can remind you of her. Am sorry to safe but she is a Lil bit shallow. What if you get a job she loves then get married and you loose the job then what? And what country are you located because if in Nigeria there is job insecurity. Bottom line she has moved on so should you. I know it's not gonna be easy but you have to. 50 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 5:11am On Feb 13, 2016 |
I wonder why brothers still think like this nowadays oooh,,when she started bringing up the gist of good earning job as a prequisite for marriage you should have understood that her eye don shine and move on from there but instead you stuck to her.. THe truth is that her taste has changed, forget the 7 yrs u spent together, thats women for you..... If were you forget her, delete her number sharperly even the pictures, whatever brings memories, delete it cos one silly heartbreak isnt worth taking your life... And you should thank God it even happened now and she showed her true colours imagine if you were financially bouyant then things went south after marriage, she go just pack load run... A certain uncle of mine is a teacher, he earns like 45 k per month, hie married to a graduate, he lives in Abuja satellite town, he has a bouncing baby boy and he and his family are doing okay.... Moral of the story, forget it that chick never believed in you she has already made up her mind to marry a rich man, move on with you life, go back to an ex or a fling that you still have a thing for reconcile and if things work out marry oooh and enjoy your life your ex is already enjoying her life and you are thinking of winning her back mtscheeeeew. Goodmorning 85 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by callMeAlpha(m): 5:12am On Feb 13, 2016 |
hurting:hahahaa...trust me she won't,its obvious you've never experienced such before,..trust me she won't..if she acts like she has gotten over u dis early and on of a sudden she's over d guy then the dude is a rebound... U spent 7 years wit her not 7 days..and if she can get over u dat easily then u deserve someone better.....believe me if u keep contacting her and keep begging her then ur chances of winning her back will be almost zero.. 86 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by sirhot(m): 5:12am On Feb 13, 2016 |
I'm so sorry bro. Wipe off your tears, she's not worth it. I understand how bad you feel with this sort of betrayal. It's heartbreaking. Many guys have been there so relax, forget all those silly thoughts. You need to reinvent yourself again. You may have made silly sacrifices on the alter of love now that's a waste. Most times we need to be realistic with ourselves, I tell young folks don't go falling in love with a girl in Uni., there's life after Uni where no one can predict, I mean a real life. She must have consulted wide before taking that decision because it's a difficult one but she had to be realistic with herself. To those who have girlfriends in school, dump her after graduation because a more ready guy will take her from you while you are hustling for jobs and remember jobs are difficult to get these days, so be real. I don't want to be reading threads like this. Always do the needful. 36 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by BTT(m): 5:13am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Poor you. She is overrated. Even if you get a breakthrough today she should be allowed to stand by her choice. Don't kill yourself. No need. You think your life depends on someone who can't bear with you while you deal with something that is practically out of your control. Come on! Get closer to your female members of your family and old friends. It will help you get over it quick. Ciao. 22 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 5:17am On Feb 13, 2016 |
hurting:Forget crocodile tears and winning her back jare, your matter done dey vex me, are you God? Did you create your condition intentionally? Sha had the audacity to move on without giving a damn simply because Your Alert never soar and your talking of true love my foot, even 2 face when sing true love sef no true.... Dont be blindfolded by emotions and tears wake up man, I bet you in a week or 2 now those tears would stop she go come change hand for you, move on with your lifeshe couldnt stand the heat so she left the kitchen...... If I see you lamenting again, I go flog you koboko 83 Likes 7 Shares |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by hurting: 5:17am On Feb 13, 2016 |
samdavjustin:I told her exactly that! People lose jobs everyday. What is I get n lose it later after our wedding? Its just that I find it very hard!  Thanks for d advice.11 Likes |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by hurting: 5:19am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Justdulla: Thanks  I need more of ur type here. I really need to get over this.47 Likes |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 5:29am On Feb 13, 2016 |
lomprico:I know, but I'm not laughin' at his pain though. |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by laprince(m): 5:38am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Am so sorry bro. I just remembered mine too. She told me the love she has for me was less than the love I had for her. So, she dumped me and went over to date a wealthier friend of mine that I introduced her to, when she came visiting me on an occasion. Now, my life has improved she sometimes sends me I MISS YOU MESSAGES. When I see such messages, I just reply and wish her well. You know what, I ignored her and my friend. They are no longer dating now. They both had issues. According to her, She says am a person she would have taken more time to know better. However, that does not cheer me: I have moved ahead. Just look good and hustle hard. don't ever bother to BEG her God's grace will shine on you soon. CHEERS!!! 153 Likes 12 Shares |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 5:46am On Feb 13, 2016 |
All these long epistles *yawns The posters above me have said it all...what did they even say sef  5 Likes |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Bacteriocin(m): 5:54am On Feb 13, 2016 |
people bin talkin abt suicide like they are Mario. Ogbeni face wetin street get to offer u and chill for your own woman. 15 Likes |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by cruzita(f): 5:59am On Feb 13, 2016 |
this is very serious,bro even as a woman I won't tell u to go back to her or beg her ,listen bro,its time to forget everything and move on ,she didn't see any future with you but another girl will,she feels insecure because of your job,but there is another girl who will accept u the way u are ,so wipe those years,cancel those suicidal thoughts in your mind,man up and take life easy and with time you will be your old self and nature might smile on you .SEE YA 34 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by laprince(m): 6:02am On Feb 13, 2016 |
skarlett: |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by firstking01(m): 6:10am On Feb 13, 2016 |
I wonder why a woman will tell a man i 've found somebody else and the next thing the man will do is start begging ....for me that's bullshit....Op, proof her wrong by getting a high paying job, i'm sure you'd get it....and when she comes back kneeling before you and sheding crocodile tears, push her away and bang the door behind her  ...don't come here and be asking us if you should accept her back...This is why i'm tempted to join the league of team foreign girls....rubbish 34 Likes |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Dreamflyin(m): 6:20am On Feb 13, 2016 |
OP, thanks a lot for being honest about her. Some dudes will start off by painting her up as unfaithful and all. Thanks Op. You're on the good path. Thanks again. She loves you, no doubt about that, but sometimes, life throws things in our path that even the strongest emotion can't withstand. She's gone, but she's still there. Don't hate her. She did her bit. Dust yourself up. It's hard, and I wouldn't claim to know how you feel, or understand your feelings. If you commits suicide, you lost. You lost her, and the world/life defeated you. She always loved you and will still do, but if she grew up in want, that phobia will always get her apprehensive of the future. She wants better for her kids. I'm not God to tell you that a job is on the way and make you feel good, but you'll be a better man if you pull through this. Best of luck, bro. I'm in deep sorrow with you. God keep you. 119 Likes 8 Shares |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by hurting: 6:42am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Dreamflyin: Thank you. My heart is really really heavy right now. God bless. 10 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by italo: 6:47am On Feb 13, 2016 |
She broke up last week because she was trying to avoid a clash on Val day. She has been dating the other guy for longer than you think. (most likely) @hurting, if you commit everything to Jesus Christ, you will be uplifted to a point where, you'll be glad she left you. There are 3.5 billion women in the world. Are you aware? 119 Likes 13 Shares |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by DBestDoc(f): 6:55am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Dreamflyin:very sensible and mature post. @Op, listen to this advice. It has a lot of wisdom in it. Don't worry, that suicidal feeling would go away and you will be fine. Just don't stop hustling and making yourself better and don't hate her. Everybody is quick to call her shallow, she may not be. She alone knows what she's been through and what informed her decision. Some people have been through hell and out and wouldn't want to have anything to do with lack...whether her decision was right or wrong, i don't know. But what i do know is that she is trying to be very careful so as not to land herself and her unborn children in the same thing she is very much afraid of, even though at the of the day, whatever will be will be. She might still end up being your wife, so treat this with wisdom and don't hurt yourself. All the best! 21 Likes |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by peedeeasobie(m): 6:58am On Feb 13, 2016 |
hurting: stop talking like a kid my friend! MOVE ON. That boat has sailed! Be a man and get a life! suicidal thoughts because of a lady? you need slap! 22 Likes |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by timmyblast(m): 6:59am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Its better this is happening, just assume you lost a good paying job after marrying her. What do u think will happen 3 Likes |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by hurting: 7:02am On Feb 13, 2016 |
peedeeasobie:I think so too! That's y I opened this thread. I need those to toughen me up. Thanks anyway. 7 Likes |
| Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Schwartz: 7:05am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Op I feel your pain. I am so sorry you're going through this. Such is life. You will get through this pain and betrayal with time. 6 Likes 1 Share |
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