Bbsharon:
Hello everyone.

I was gisting with my boyfriend last week and we talked about what if someone approach me for marriage because we are age mate and he told me he has "PLAN B" if I leave him.

I was heartbroken and when he realised that he tried explaining that he is just trying to be on the safer side but when I told an older friend of mine about it she told me he (my bf) might be dating the other lady already but he loves me more. I became more confused and do not want to approach my boyfriend on the matter again because I do not want anything that will cause misunderstanding between us.

So I want to know other people's thoughts on this and if you happen to have been in such situation before please share how you handled it.

Mature contributions please..

bardella1:
lols u even know d girl

My candid advice leave dat boy hez uncrios
How wuld he feel..if u were also datin sum1 else nd called d person plan b
He just dey use una

vooyour:
sweetie listen to me. HE IS NOT WORTH YOUR LOVE! If he loves you he wouldn't do that to you. He's trying to make you think it's okay for him to have another chick. infact if you think about it, he might be waiting for the other girl's relationship to crash so that he can leave you for her. You can talk to him about first. But I doubt he loves you the way you love him. You need to find someone who will love you completely! you deserve it.
good luck

You guys are the reason we're having serious problems and challenges in our dear country.

SUPERPACK:

Two months and u will see "Chanji"

LieLie Muhammed.

DoTheNeedful:


Thank you. You are probably the only poster who read and understood her post before commenting. Most others just rushed in to get likes. She is just a selfish lady. She created a scenario of being taken asked for marriage by another man and his bf being smart enough paid her back in her coin. Now she is here on NL venting her frustration

At least someone is operating on my frequency. Following you for this reason
I hate cheaters.

Bbsharon:



Thanks, but the plan b girl self is a year younger than him too so I do not think is age issue.

Na wa for you girls of now a days oooooooooo imagine you even knew the side chicks already and her age too.........

Bbsharon:
Hello everyone.

I was gisting with my boyfriend last week and we talked about what if someone approach me for marriage because we are age mate and he told me he has "PLAN B" if I leave him.

I was heartbroken and when he realised that he tried explaining that he is just trying to be on the safer side but when I told an older friend of mine about it she told me he (my bf) might be dating the other lady already but he loves me more. I became more confused and do not want to approach my boyfriend on the matter again because I do not want anything that will cause misunderstanding between us.

So I want to know other people's thoughts on this and if you happen to have been in such situation before please share how you handled it.

Mature contributions please..

Are you not selfish by asking him that question ?

He gave you a good answer that he wont miss you much if you elope ?

freecocoa:
Ain't nothing wise in telling your man you might be approached for marriage, like he doesn't know that already, saying it the way she did, makes it sound like she'll leave the first proposal she gets, so what do you expect the young man to do? She's obviously always giving him the vibe, hence the plan B.

She made him her plan B first, she's even lucky he's calling her his plan A.

Like bae called me and we were loving up...

Then she said she loves the text I sent her the other day, that it was "spontaneous" and she would love it IF I CAN CONTINUE sending her such messages whenever am busy, or in a tight corner or hustling or smiling or just anything....only if she can as well send or call me during her own time......

Not that I don't do ALL OF THOSE THINGS ALREADY....

Sometimes ladies can just be funny, asking a funny question and not expecting a funny response!

Your question to him in the first place goes to show how insecured u feel in the relationship and needs no explanation for one to tell that you are either seeing someone else being ur plan B or nursing how to carry out the plan.
Being a guy who's got ego u wouldn't expect him to say "oh no if someone marries you I will look for another, or I will go kill myself". He sure will want to let you know he's already secured in his games and that was why he told you he's having plan B. That doesn't mean he's not cheating on u and u know it, bcoz if he has told u about a lady he's seeing it means you are aware of one his escapades and yet feel at home with it...maybe waiting until something comes up and you realise she's his choices lady then eye fit clear. If it were to be a Nigerian movie it will be tagged "Is this Love?" You will be shocked when given the privilege of using the third eye to see that you are his plan B and not the other way. uhhmmmm.
Anyways he may be your first love and so u want to hold on tight as u are still young but I know sooner than later u will come to the true realization and will then take a bold step

Why would you bring up the issue of "what if" for me ooo I think you shouldn't have said that to him that way he wouldn't think of saying that to confuse you. Confusing+confusion=confucious

Bbsharon:
Hello everyone.

I was gisting with my boyfriend last week and we talked about what if someone approach me for marriage because we are age mate and he told me he has "PLAN B" if I leave him.

I was heartbroken and when he realised that he tried explaining that he is just trying to be on the safer side but when I told an older friend of mine about it she told me he (my bf) might be dating the other lady already but he loves me more. I became more confused and do not want to approach my boyfriend on the matter again because I do not want anything that will cause misunderstanding between us.

So I want to know other people's thoughts on this and if you happen to have been in such situation before please share how you handled it.

Mature contributions please..

Let me ask you OP. Normally a car uses four tyres. Why do FRSC insist we carry an extra tyre?

lolaed:


There is nothing wrong with her question. She is trying to see if they have a future together. A loving Bf would reassure her and tell her Why they needed to stick together.

She is just a wise girl. Many other girls would be too shy to ask salient questions until it is too late.

being wise in yur statement is called OVERSMART.... Op wants to run past her shadow.. She no know say her by sef get torchlight

kaboninc:




Sometimes ladies can just be funny, asking a funny question and not expecting a funny response!

It's not all ladies though.

naijathings:


excuse me....

please read my post properly and tell me where I said it was a bad thing for her to ask.
I was only asking why she was saying the guy broke her heart when he said he has a PLAN B. but he did not cry when she was talking about someone coming to ask for her hand in marriage.
and as for you.......
so because he told her he has a plan be now means that he is not A LOVING BOY FRIEND ?

Her question and he having a plan B are not equivalent

freecocoa:
It's not all ladies though.

Maybe you're speaking for yourself....

Well, with time, I'll get to find out...

lolaed:


Her question and he having a plan B are not equivalent

Hmmmmm

You see that crap you wrote there?

Yes, I said its crap!

Can't people just come out clean and state whatever its on their mind? Why instigate a response and put the other party in a difficult position?

Is that how you relate with your boyfriend? Na only you love TLC?

How would you feel if you were asked such a question?

Come to think of it....don't you think the OP's boyfriend is aware of the fact that as a young woman, "ANYTHING" can happen?

vooyour:
sweetie listen to me. HE IS NOT WORTH YOUR LOVE! If he loves you he wouldn't do that to you. He's trying to make you think it's okay for him to have another chick. infact if you think about it, he might be waiting for the other girl's relationship to crash so that he can leave you for her. You can talk to him about first. But I doubt he loves you the way you love him. You need to find someone who will love you completely! you deserve it.
good luck

And u failed to ask her why she asked that question??

If u reason deeply u will knw that the content of the question is that she is cheating on that guy...........

Bbsharon:



Thanks, but the plan b girl self is a year younger than him too so I do not think is age issue.

So u knw d "plan B" girl?
im not gud at sharing.....I would av started taking a gradual walk
Not all relationships lead to marriage.

Purity Pays....giv ur life to christ, close ur Duplex. Its never late to decide to b pure n holy. Ur God given man will come. Not men who wil taste ur apple n drop it for plan B like dey av tasted so many oda apples

lolaed:


No. It doesn't imply anything. She asked it hypothetically. People in relationships should not be afraid to bring up discussion with each other. Communication is key. Situations like this will make it more difficult for them to communicate. Already she doesn't want to bring up this discussion because he might vex.That's entirely wrong.

....for the guy to have "Plan B", he may not be referring to having a girlfriend. We must be watchful of dirty and idle convos...

MicroIce:


being wise in yur statement is called OVERSMART.... Op wants to run past her shadow.. She no know say her by sef get torchlight

IMO, she didn't state it the right way. But I only get in relationships where I can express my thoughts as they are and that's Y I reason with her. Guy should get more mature and see through her insecurity

DonaTee:


So u knw d "plan B" girl?
im not gud at sharing.....I would av started taking a gradual walk
Not all relationships lead to marriage.

Purity Pays....giv ur life to christ, close ur Duplex. Its never late to decide to b pure n holy. Ur God given man will come. Not men who wil taste ur apple n drop it for plan B like dey av tasted so many oda apples

Whats Dis One Saying Sef...

Bbsharon:
Hello everyone.

I was gisting with my boyfriend last week and we talked about what if someone approach me for marriage because we are age mate and he told me he has "PLAN B" if I leave him.

I was heartbroken and when he realised that he tried explaining that he is just trying to be on the safer side but when I told an older friend of mine about it she told me he (my bf) might be dating the other lady already but he loves me more. I became more confused and do not want to approach my boyfriend on the matter again because I do not want anything that will cause misunderstanding between us.

So I want to know other people's thoughts on this and if you happen to have been in such situation before please share how you handled it.

Mature contributions please..

You are birds of a feather

Do men just see women and jump on them for proposal? Won't you both have an understanding before he proposes to you?

You have a plan B; he has a plan B.

At least, you both are plan As of each other.

Happy planning.

Omotolu:
....for the guy to have "Plan B", he may not be referring to having a girlfriend. We must be watchful of dirty and idle convos...

Thank you!

Most times, I just smile when I find myself in such situations...


Ladies can really push you!

Bbsharon:



Not like I really know her, he told me about her and she has a boyfriend presently who is far from her. But she is in same school with my boyfriend and am in a differnt school too. So that's why am confused if she is just his side chick or my competitor?

Lmao

So you believe it's okay to have a side chick? So now there's competitor and side chick, biko what is the difference between both?

lolaed:


IMO, she didn't state it the right way. But I only get in relationships where I can express my thoughts as they are and that's Y I reason with her. Guy should get more mature and see through her insecurity

What maturity?

Don't women want to or aspire or intend to be mature?

That's not an insecurity on the party of the OP....

Its an insecurity on the part of the boyfriend.

What's her motive for asking such a dumb question?

Trying to find out if he can "survive" without her?

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kaboninc:


Maybe you're speaking for yourself....

Well, with time, I'll get to find out...

Not just for myself, for others too.

Omotolu:
....for the guy to have "Plan B", he may not be referring to having a girlfriend. We must be watchful of dirty and idle convos...

That's a possibility. But he already told her who the plan B girl is.

freecocoa:
Ain't nothing wise in telling your man you might be approached for marriage, like he doesn't know that already, saying it the way she did, makes it sound like she'll leave the first proposal she gets, so what do you expect the young man to do? She's obviously always giving him the vibe, hence the plan B.

She made him her plan B first, she's even lucky he's calling her his plan A.

So if he already knows of that possibility, why is it wrong to bring the conversation up?

That's not making him plan B. That's like, we have this age issue, and it might affect us in the long run, what are we going to do about it?

lolaed:


So if he already knows of that possibility, why is it wrong to bring the conversation up?

That's not making him plan B. That's like, we have thia age issue, and it might affect ua in the long run, what are we going to do about it?

Does the possibility of someone asking her hand in marriage mean they have to break up? Did she not know they were age mates before they started dating?

Bringing up the conversation is not the issue, the way it is phrased is the issue.


Get with the program.

kaboninc:


What maturity?

Don't women want to or aspire or intend to be mature?

That's not an insecurity on the party of the OP....

Its an insecurity on the part of the boyfriend.

What's her motive for asking such a dumb question?

Trying to find out if he can "survive" without her?

That is where you get it wrong. You probably see this as some kind of competition. It is not about which of the partner can hurt each other more.

and she claims to love him. So she is not at all trying to see if he can survive without her. He is the one who felt the need to appear as if he can do qithout her.

I believe in relationships, the first thing is to try not to hurt the other person even when it appears like they are hurting. In the long run, you may just have misunderstood their intention.

The girl likes him and is worried that the age difference might be a reason they wont end up together and so she asked about it. They should have simply discussed the possibility.

freecocoa:
Does the possibility of someone asking her hand in marriage mean they have to break up? Did she not know they were age mates before they started dating?

Bringing up the conversation is not the issue, the way it is phrased is the issue.


Get with the program.

Then u didn't need to quote me in the first place. I already mentioned that phrasing it in that way was the problem.

kaboninc:


Hmmmmm

You see that crap you wrote there?

Yes, I said its crap!

Can't people just come out clean and state whatever its on their mind? Why instigate a response and put the other party in a difficult position?

Is that how you relate with your boyfriend? Na only you love TLC?

How would you feel if you were asked such a question?

Come to think of it....don't you think the OP's boyfriend is aware of the fact that as a young woman, "ANYTHING" can happen?

Why did You sound like you are pained with this post? Are you on here for a fighting match?

lolaed:

Then u didn't need to quote me in the first place. I already mentioned that phrasing it in that way was the problem.

I did need to quote you because you said "she is just a wise girl" that I disagree with, hence the quote.