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My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice - Family (3) - Nairaland

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He Did Not Enjoy Intimacy With Me, And Concluded I Am Cheating / I Can’t Bear My Husband’s Strong Sexual Urge: Wife / My Wife Has Little Or No Urge For Intimacy. Possible Causes & Solutions. (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by naijagobetter(m): 11:06pm On Mar 31, 2016
communication is and always will be the best way out of your problem, let her know how you feel, maybe you will get a clue as to her reason, most women at this early stage tend to focus aall her attention on the baby forgetting she has a big baby to take care of. Or you always leave her hanging when you are done. And mant more reasons which you can find out if you create the right atmosphere to discuss the issue.
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by swefty: 11:06pm On Mar 31, 2016
Postnatal care comes in diverse categories. Both for the mother and child. There are women who reject their children after birth till they are attended to by therapist etc. There are several reasons it could be that way.
1. If she had a cut from childbirth,try finding out the state of the wound.
2. You can't use force, talk about it with her, ask about her fears and desire
3. There are people who aren't just sex fans, there's nothing you can do about it except being nice and soft
4. If you can try take away s#x from the picture and focus on rebuilding a sweet friendship/relationship, she will open the door herself to you. I just feel you've not exhausted your options.

4 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by KingAdeOluomo1(m): 11:06pm On Mar 31, 2016
chimkaire:
Chai grin sad
There is God ooooOooOooOooO
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by stanbuggy(m): 11:06pm On Mar 31, 2016
halfricanadian:


Exactly my thought

Are u guys kidding me right now? So after Dating, Marriage and a Kid...now is the time to ask if he's physically attractive.

As a wife she should do the needful or the dude would get laid somewhere else

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by 4reala(m): 11:07pm On Mar 31, 2016
Pidggin:
Are you physically attractive? undecided
but wat has dat got to do wit it. Was she forced into the marriage I think dis is d right qst to ask cool

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by komododragons: 11:07pm On Mar 31, 2016
kola1930:
We've been married for a year now and blessed with a pretty daughter. My wife feels little or no urge to be intimate. Its been more than a month now since I had s*x. Reason being that, am angry inside of me that she is always not in the mood, so I decided to hold myself and see when she'll realize it that am angry about it and do the needful. But it seems like am just suffering my self because she seems not to realize she needs to do something fast. I am feeling like cheating on her as a way to punish her maybe she'll realize it that she needs to satisfy her husband to keep him away from other ladies outside. I urgently need advice from married nairalanders... Is the situation d same or similar in ur marriage, and how do I resolve this differences. Am really disturbed
that's why we men CHEAT!

go outside and enjoy yourself and forget about your STVPID wife. when she started suspecting you, just relax she will open her leg 24hrs for you.

5 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Alexgeorgebsg(m): 11:08pm On Mar 31, 2016
Give her MouthAction. #Justsaying

1 Like

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by komododragons: 11:10pm On Mar 31, 2016
Pidggin:
Are you physically attractive? undecided
is it physically unattractive people that goes into marriage undecided

use your skull before you talk.

typical WOMEN who don't think before talking

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by idupaul: 11:11pm On Mar 31, 2016
kola1930:
We've been married for a year now and blessed with a pretty daughter. My wife feels little or no urge to be intimate. Its been more than a month now since I had s*x. Reason being that, am angry inside of me that she is always not in the mood, so I decided to hold myself and see when she'll realize it that am angry about it and do the needful. But it seems like am just suffering my self because she seems not to realize she needs to do something fast. I am feeling like cheating on her as a way to punish her maybe she'll realize it that she needs to satisfy her husband to keep him away from other ladies outside. I urgently need advice from married nairalanders... Is the situation d same or similar in ur marriage, and how do I resolve this differences. Am really disturbed

She doesn't like you she only married you because you have a job
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by idupaul: 11:12pm On Mar 31, 2016
komododragons:
that's why we men CHEAT!

go outside and enjoy yourself and forget about your STVPID wife. when she started suspecting you, just relax she will open her leg 24hrs for you.


God bless u ..no time

1 Like

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by emerged01(m): 11:16pm On Mar 31, 2016
kola1930:
We've been married for a year now and blessed with a pretty daughter. My wife feels little or no urge to be intimate. Its been more than a month now since I had s*x. Reason being that, am angry inside of me that she is always not in the mood, so I decided to hold myself and see when she'll realize it that am angry about it and do the needful. But it seems like am just suffering my self because she seems not to realize she needs to do something fast. I am feeling like cheating on her as a way to punish her maybe she'll realize it that she needs to satisfy her husband to keep him away from other ladies outside. I urgently need advice from married nairalanders... Is the situation d same or similar in ur marriage, and how do I resolve this differences. Am really disturbed

I feel your pain. I think you have a lot to do. You need to ensure she is in happy mood or you make happy before you approach her.
Maybe she needs medical attention to correct the abnormality. You can seek advice from a doctor.
On your own part,if you do watch porn,you must stop so you won't be hungry for sex in an unusual way.
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by komododragons: 11:16pm On Mar 31, 2016
idupaul:

God bless u ..no time
don't mind them

1 Like

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Pidggin(f): 11:20pm On Mar 31, 2016
komododragons:
[s][/s]is it physically unattractive people that goes into marriage undecided

use your skull before you talk.

typical WOMEN who don't think before talking[s][/s]

1 Like

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by iweadebash(m): 11:21pm On Mar 31, 2016
Sit her down and have tete-a-tete talk, if she refuses then you are free to...
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by bettercreature(m): 11:22pm On Mar 31, 2016
@ OP Must you have sex?

1 Like

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by akin33(m): 11:23pm On Mar 31, 2016
My wife does same with only reason that she did not naturally like the thing since 10 years now, we still fight over it. The worse is that she has been using same sex position in the past 9 years. Tell her to change position, she will say, this is the position she only enjoy. Keep managing her like that.

6 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by huntax(m): 11:24pm On Mar 31, 2016
halfricanadian:


Exactly my thought
That isn't a factor. The fact that she got married to him should be enough to verify that she was attracted to him then... so that shouldn't change within a year.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by huntax(m): 11:27pm On Mar 31, 2016
kola1930:
We've been married for a year now and blessed with a pretty daughter. My wife feels little or no urge to be intimate. Its been more than a month now since I had s*x. Reason being that, am angry inside of me that she is always not in the mood, so I decided to hold myself and see when she'll realize it that am angry about it and do the needful. But it seems like am just suffering my self because she seems not to realize she needs to do something fast. I am feeling like cheating on her as a way to punish her maybe she'll realize it that she needs to satisfy her husband to keep him away from other ladies outside. I urgently need advice from married nairalanders... Is the situation d same or similar in ur marriage, and how do I resolve this differences. Am really disturbed
Op,do you try to get intimate with her and she turns you down or you are upset that she never gets to initiate the intimacy?
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by watchindelta(m): 11:27pm On Mar 31, 2016
nawaho person own wife again, na some of who na wat him to buy tins 4 before him go bang abi!
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Lucasbalo(m): 11:28pm On Mar 31, 2016
hrhobi1:
She might be a lesbian, got married because of her family.
Gbam. Another possibility is that she might be cheating .
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by tosyne2much(m): 11:28pm On Mar 31, 2016
Onegai:


Dude, you sound so.....gosh, what's the word...selfish. Yes. Selfish.

Plus you're most going to throw your marriage, peace of mind and happiness away, hurt your child irrevocably, scare your wife away in the near future. All the best, there are a lot of unhappy divorced naija man out there (i used to think they were all balling but strangely they all hate being single).

Seriously.

You didn't bother communicating with her, most likely didn't put any effort into romancing your woman, you're now sulking mentally and decided the best way to "punish" her is by cheating?

She doesn't want to sleep with you because she already is taking care of one small baby, she didn't realise she married another immature baby.

So something has cropped up in your marriage and instead of you to look for a good way to fix it, make your union strong, make society be impressed by your principled stand to keep to your vows and earn your wife's love and loyalty forever, you wrote this??

Mstchewwww.

You better go and get someone to come and carry that baby for a few hours. Then take your wife to a guesthouse and let her sleep for a bit, get your lust satisfied and THEN speak up about how you understand it's exhausting being a new mum and you're here for her but you didn't like being ignored whilst she lost herself in her role because you need her too and will always be willing to support and carry your weight around the house.

Or you can do whatever you want...
For your mind you don give advice abi? Your comment reeks of arrogance and insult and you think you have offered the best advice shey?


And to think a man has to undergo all you posted just to be compensated with sex clearly shows how clueless you are. Smh


Op... Well, I'm not married so I'm not experienced in this aspect. I just hope more experienced married men can help you find a solution

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Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Obiwiz(m): 11:29pm On Mar 31, 2016
Ahmed0336:
were her eyes closed when he married her? undecided
You know weda she be the hungry type wey just choose to follow the guy because of him money or something?? 9ja chics know the matter na
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by watchindelta(m): 11:30pm On Mar 31, 2016
akin33:
My wife does same with only reason that she did not naturally like the thing since 10 years now, we still fight over it. The worse is that she has been using same sex position in the past 9 years. Tell her to change position, she will say, this is the position she only enjoy. Keep managing her like that.
chain serious!
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by AreaFada2: 11:30pm On Mar 31, 2016
McCarlito:
Op: it's obvious u're not romantic and don't know how to pillow-talk ur wife into it...
Stop acting like a kid and learn to understand what and how ur wife's sexuality works so u things can fall into place...
Keeping her silent is doing u no good..

Haba! The accusation is too much na. Both have marital duties. Something they should/would have learnt preparing for marriage.
If any party cannot fulfil that role, he/she should naturally seek help.

First there are things to know: was there sex before marriage? Was the marriage arranged? Was she ever keen on sex? Has it got worse since having a baby? Does she do a physically exhausting job? Has she any history of having suffered molestation? Does she suffer from pain during sex? Is she depressed? Is she even falling out of love?

These can help you see the way forward, if you might need professional medical/psychological help.

Marriage is not always rosy. Challenges: sexual, financial and all can come up at any time.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by assana: 11:31pm On Mar 31, 2016
austine4real:
Mayb the load is too much 4her to bear, wash clothes,cook,breastfeed,wash yansh


and u go com bak 4rm work remove ur smelling prik 4rm ur dirty boxers and say baby spread ur legs i want fvck,no intimacy no hw are u? No hw did ur day went


my broda u must b wicked oo aaah u must be D 2nd satan sef


do u communicate things to her,i mean hw u feel?
tenk u Austine u just hit the nail on the head, am also a victim. God bless ur comment.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by cybriz82(m): 11:32pm On Mar 31, 2016
I knw say na vex u tek reply am bk..dat y u do mistek.correct am b4 d op go begin tink say him wife dn marry a she.
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by TolaniLuv: 11:32pm On Mar 31, 2016
Chai!! Just one monthly you are already complaining ? Not even that you still feel you want to cheat on your wife ? Just because maybe she's tired taking care of your baby! Cooking , doing laundry's too .. Man do you even assist her sometimes? You are not mentally stable I wish your wife can see this post ! I bet she will realize she married to a boy..

Ode boi!! Just no sex for one month?

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by chichriso: 11:32pm On Mar 31, 2016
Thesis probably giving the cookies to another man out there.
Op, shine your eyes ooo, its not ordinary as you may think
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by cybriz82(m): 11:34pm On Mar 31, 2016
Austine hit nail 4 ur head n u still dey alive to comment...hmmm I dey suspect u and austine...wz if d woman is avin affair outside n refusin d man hiz right at hme? Women una 1+1 na 22.
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by assana: 11:34pm On Mar 31, 2016
some men are just so unromantic, no conscience, I dont care attitude, dey dnt know how to nourish their wives, or appreciate her, neva encourages her when she is doing all the chores. #habaNaSlave#men sha
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by watchindelta(m): 11:34pm On Mar 31, 2016
tosyne2much:
For your mind you don give advice abi? Your comment reeks of arrogance and insult and you think you have offered the best advice shey?


And to think a man has to undergo all you posted just to be compensated with sex clearly shows how clueless you are. Smh


Op... Well, I'm not married so I'm not experienced in this aspect. I just hope more experienced married men can help you find a solution
I feel u. if she meet person like me, wit that her arrogant body go time her. she no advice d but wan show she sabi talk!
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by assana: 11:37pm On Mar 31, 2016
cybriz82:
Austine hit nail 4 ur head n u still dey alive to comment...hmmm I dey suspect u and austine...wz if d woman is avin affair outside n refusin d man hiz right at hme? Women una 1+1 na 22.
forget Cybriz she no get any affair outside anywhere joor, trust me the babe is going tru emotional stress.

1 Like

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